Strange But Probably True

1…34689…24

Comments

  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    When American males are asked "How Are You" the replies are:

    35% Say "Fine"
    25% Say "Fine and Dandy"
    20% Say "Not Too Shabby"
    19% Say "Not Bad"
    1% Say "Horny and Hungry. Which of these would you like to satisfy?"
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    the children's game 'connect four' was used in disarmament talks back in the 80's
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    Michael Jackson once directed traffic in full medieval regalia, consequently he was responsible for the Great Wall Street Crash of 1939 in which a tortoise called Mildred was badly winded
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    The knee cap of a recently deceased Italian woman is the finest rocks glass coaster you could ever find.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    If you are ever propositioned for sexual favors by a one eyed midget with a lisp, tell her that your "lumbago" is acting up. She will run screaming from you leaving behind tiny spangles from her ball gown.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    97% of all people on this thread were bottle-fed the sperm of Timothy Leary and can often be found in the local library sniggering at medical dictionaries





    bye for now folks :):)
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    a blowdryer should never be used on a sunday, if you happen to live in the town of Cerritos, Ca.

    just, trust me.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    If you listen to Chicago's song "Baby, what a big surprise" it can result in terrible Broccoli caliber gas. (thanks MoOkLeS)
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    failedpersephone wrote:
    If you listen to Chicago's song "Baby, what a big surprise" it can result in terrible Broccoli caliber gas. (thanks MoOkLeS)

    Anytime I can take credit for the flatulence humor of a young lass on the board all I can do is blush, attempt to put my foot behind my head, and play yankee doodle with a strand of armpit hair that I have moussed up. Which is also the same reaction I have to the supermarket being sold out of Rotisserie Chickens.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Drinking green tea will stunt your growth, give you extra molars, and increase your lifespan, while decreasing your sex drive.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    If you file your taxes online and get audited you have the choice of an in person visit by the IRS or to have an online chat session with the oldest most perverted employee the IRS has ever known, Harry Ballstein. You will feel violated either way but at least with Harry you have a chance at a marriage proposal.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    four out of five dentists aren't actually dentists
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    One night in 1973 an ambidextrious bowler was one strike away from the only perfect game in history to be bowled using both hands when all of a sudden he dropped dead on the alley of an apparent heart attack. No one has dared to try this feat since.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    four out of five dentists, usually don't.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    cutback wrote:
    four out of five dentists aren't actually dentists
    WOAH! that is freaking WEIRD!!!

    I was like, blocked from posting - and and and YOU did a Dentist post!!!

    it's like we are twins!!

    only we look nothing alike and we are pretty much different people!

    seriously, tho - it's like looking in a mirror!
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Linda Lavin of Alice fame has been arrested three times for urinating in public. The most recent was at her grandchild's baptism. Apparently she wanted the role of "Flo" more than "Alice".
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    failedpersephone wrote:
    WOAH! that is freaking WEIRD!!!

    I was like, blocked from posting - and and and YOU did a Dentist post!!!

    it's like we are twins!!

    only we look nothing alike and we are pretty much different people!

    seriously, tho - it's like looking in a mirror!

    wow really?? i thought you were just riffing from mine......i blame stone...;) :D
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    cutback wrote:
    wow really?? i thought you were just riffing from mine......i blame stone...;) :D

    no no no! it was at the same time!

    mind fusion!

    because of Stone and his gumming up the pit-works with his potty talk! made it hard (tee he) for me to get into the pit :o
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    A woman in Milwaukee held her urine for 35 consecutive days before her bladder burst into flames.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    You can break out of any maximum security prison with a fifth of gin, a creepy crawler out of a fruit loops box, and a bedazzler.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"

Categories