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Strange But Probably True

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  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    People who work the graveyard shift at a graveyard have the best guacamole recipes in the world.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    "Tongue Stapling" is projected to be the latest fashion trend in Venezuela.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    dunkman wrote:
    ooooooooo touchy :(



    MCKB is so scary that Pol Pot used to hide in a goat at the mere mention of her acronym.

    dunkman doesn't seem to know when MCKB is joking... because he smells like cabbage. :confused:
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    59% of the population cannot accurately answer this question

    :D
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    If you rub the bare ass of a natural red head, their nose will light up adequately enough for you to scavenge for truffles on southward facing slopes in the Andes.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Scallops may not feel the pain of being consumed, but they are known to have severe depression.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • RygarRygar Posts: 8,690
    There really IS a High-Ho Silver Polish Company in Walla Walla Washington.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Ed Asner acted as the midwife during Lucille Ball's second pregnancy.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Honey roasted peanuts do not contain honey, nor are they roasted.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    The Pope's automated email response when he is away from the Vatican is loosely translated to read:

    I'm away bitches! I'll see you on the flip side.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • Steve DunneSteve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    Officials for Brachs Candies deny any connection with Ronald Reagan's lust for jelly beans and the CBS Schoolbreak Special "Welcome Home, Jellybean".
    I love to turn you on
  • SpunkieSpunkie i come from downtown. Posts: 6,824
    If you have sexual intercourse in a church, your chances of being struck by lightening increase by 31%.
    I was swimming in the Great Barrier Reef 
    Animals were hiding behind the Coral 
    Except for little Turtle
    I could swear he's trying to talk to me 
    Gurgle Gurgle
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    The Israeli/Palenstinian conflict could easily be resolved over a bowl of Dennison's and a marathon viewing of Hill Street Blues, season 3.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • Steve DunneSteve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    Only Brad plays 'Gremmie Out Of Control' better than Pearl Jam.
    I love to turn you on
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Steve Dunne wrote:
    Officials for Brachs Candies deny any connection with Ronald Reagan's lust for jelly beans and the CBS Schoolbreak Special "Welcome Home, Jellybean".
    HOLY SHIT!!! THAT IS OBSCURE!!! and also one of my favorite after school specials!!!

    goddammit son! I love you!
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • Steve DunneSteve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    failedpersephone wrote:
    HOLY SHIT!!! THAT IS OBSCURE!!! and also one of my favorite after school specials!!!

    goddammit son! I love you!

    truth be told ;) , poor little geraldine actually dislocated her thumb and bruised her ribs while violently screaming 'JELLY BEANS!!!!! JELLY BEANS!!!!'
    I love to turn you on
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    When you turn in a 40% off coupon for Vagisil, the Pharmacist has to fill out all of your personal credit information in triplicate.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    The hostess at Red Robin Restaurants must be members of the clergy.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    80% of all porn related spam is sent out by this guy:

    http://blog.wired.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/06/20/et_computer_kid_happy_surprised2.jpg
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    The wafer given out at a Saturday evening Catholic Mass is always leftover from the previous Sunday.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Every year there are 24 fatalities that occur while doing the Hokey Pokey.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Jesus doesn't in fact love ALL the little children, all the little children of the world. Timmy Longerstrom, of Clark County, Oregon is NOT loved.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    The shaved testicle of a mosquito can cure cancer if you stick it directly in your left ear canal.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    failedpersephone wrote:
    Timmy Longerstrom, of Clark County, Oregon is NOT loved.

    Somewhere in Vegas Michael Jackson's radar is going berzerk.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • Steve DunneSteve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    In a historic and long-awaited celebration, vegetarians were finally able to feast on a cloned turkey on Thanksgiving.
    I love to turn you on
  • SpunkieSpunkie i come from downtown. Posts: 6,824
    12% of all gay farmers learned to love the smell of animal manure by practicing the Dirty Sanchez maneouver while wearing a cow bell.
    I was swimming in the Great Barrier Reef 
    Animals were hiding behind the Coral 
    Except for little Turtle
    I could swear he's trying to talk to me 
    Gurgle Gurgle
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    74% of the time you spend on the message pit, could be better spent practicing jujitsu.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    Bill Clinton can sing along to all of Puccini's operas as he once learned Italian from watching Bugsy Malone with the subtitles on... he can also move planets using the wind created by fluttering his eyelashes
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • chinobaezachinobaeza Santiago Posts: 2,489
    I'm a proud owner of 3 testicles
  • SpunkieSpunkie i come from downtown. Posts: 6,824
    edited October 2023
    chinobaeza wrote:
    I'm a proud owner of 3 testicles

    .
    Post edited by Spunkie on
    I was swimming in the Great Barrier Reef 
    Animals were hiding behind the Coral 
    Except for little Turtle
    I could swear he's trying to talk to me 
    Gurgle Gurgle
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