Strange But Probably True

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  • if you reverse a "muppet" and pull out the stuffing, you can; in an emergency, use said muppet as a flotation device, provided you are no where near a large body of water.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • dunkman wrote:
    not many people know this is the exact same sound Kelly makes when i place her gagged and tied into my trunk... note the subtle difference between her muffled cries and Failedp's.. thats cos failedP gets her gag tied tighter... she also gets the backseat.

    Do you want to kick his ass or shall I, FP?
  • Do you want to kick his ass or shall I, FP?

    Oh, please - allow me!!

    . . .
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    if you use your own veins to strangle someone to death then you simply cannot be convicted.



    ok dunk thats 2 posts about abduction and death.. easy big boy... easy) :D:D
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    Oh, please - allow me!!

    . . .

    no.. not her.

    MCKB can do it.

    i'm so scared... i just watched I Am Legend.. piece of piss by comparison.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • dunkman wrote:
    not many people know this is the exact same sound Kelly makes when i place her gagged and tied into my trunk... note the subtle difference between her muffled cries and Failedp's.. thats cos failedP gets her gag tied tighter... she also gets the backseat.

    Few people are aware that Scotsmen will engage in a small bit of reverse-role playing. Dunk, for example is at this very minute singing the Snow White song, though you cant hear him through the ball gag.

    you come up with the type of ball ;)

    get back to your happy place little dunkie ;)
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • In a pinch, the reproductive organs of a baboon can be used as a boomerang, if frozen first.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • SpunkieSpunkie Posts: 6,470
    If you photoshop Jeff's penis over Michelangelos statue of David, they are presicely the same size, however only one is circumcised.
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    in scotland it is possible to get drunk simply by licking the internal organs of a tramp.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • more people choke on stuffed animal fur from the "build a bear" corporation than go sailing through the cape of good hope on the fourth friday of each lunar year.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    raisins aren't in fact sun-dried grapes but are the eyes of drowned pandas... i wont tell you what pretzels are.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    when Stone is on stage he isnt actually dancing he is in fact massaging thousands of tired locusts that he keeps in his shoes...
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    its a little known fact that i'm off to my bed and in that bed i shall remain mentally traumatised by dreaming of Jessica Tandy and her 115 labia wrinkles
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Cal Ripken Jr. has two cloned versions of himself which allowed him to break the consecutive games record. When you divide his total between the three he's no longer an Iron Man, he's basically Dave Henderson with a Caesar cut.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    Tom Selleck's moustache is made up of about 3million tiny spiders highly trained to stay perfectly still... his manly chest hair is in fact manly chest hair
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    John Candy's belly button was so deep that, instead of blue fluff, he once pulled out Giorgio Armani's new autumn collection in its entirety, along with a new child for Madonna and Angelina to fight over.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • Marlon Brando once breastfed a flamingo back to health.
  • mookie9999 wrote:
    Cal Ripken Jr. has two cloned versions of himself which allowed him to break the consecutive games record. When you divide his total between the three he's no longer an Iron Man, he's basically Dave Henderson with a Caesar cut.

    Okay that actually made me LOL.

    fo shizzle.

    word.

    :D
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • Steve DunneSteve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    When Elton John drinks Zima, he can hit the high notes in 'Tiny Dancer'.
    I love to turn you on
  • Marmaduke the comic strip dog, died in a shelter.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    Sean Connery's favourite time of day is tennish.. which is also his favourite sport.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    If you were to eat a fried egg off of the engine block of a '77 Nova for eight days straight, your toenails would become indestructable.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Ladybugs are really just confused, insecure manbugs with a personality conflict.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    On any given Sunday the word "amen" is uttered approximately 32 million times across the U.S. The phrase "not this shit again" comes in at a close second at 29.4 million.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Although cruel in the manner of which they are obtained, the freshly severed legs of a giraffe are the second deadliest weapon in Botswana, after the town whore.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • If you pluck the third nosehair out of each nostril you will live forever.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    9 out of 10 Calico cats prefer if "Calico" is pronounced "Coleeco". The 10th thinks that litter is tasty and as such is not counted.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • Einstein was in the habit of choking nuns in order to get "fully inspired"
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • Matt Cameron is the man responsible for the message regarding the "50 sec" posting rule.

    He likes 50 seconds. it makes him feel like a "marathon man"
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    The top three failed slogans for Diamonds prior to coming up with "A Diamond Is Forever" were:

    "Diamonds, Because it's not hard enough already dealing with this person"

    "Diamonds, Easier to smuggle than cocaine"

    "Diamonds, It's not as though were killing you if you don't find them"
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
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