Acquaintance Rape

GreenTeaDisease · December 2007

TrixieCat wrote:

But it is.
Dont hate people, please. That is depressing to me.
This day and age, no one is invited in my home unless I know them. (very well)
I am not going to go into detail on a public message board, but it is just not wise to let anyone into your home. Or give out your address.. Or give out your sexual kinks unless you are a lonely desperate fool.
It stinks yes, but it is intelligent.

exactly. to me, it is just common safety sense. you don't go to a strange guy's house either. have I done it in the past? yes, but I was being stupid. This girl acted very well in the situation. She made it clear that she was not comfortable and kicked him out. I have done this too! That's all anyone can do.

comebackwoman · December 2007

AllNiteThing wrote:

Crime happens, no matter if you like it or not, it's your job to avoid those situations.

No...it's good judgment to take steps and make decisions that will increase your safety and not put yourself in risky situations it's your job not to break the law. If crime happens the only person responsible is the person who made the choice to violate the law. We're rational, thinking beings with the ability to make decisions, regardless of biology, history, etc.

Cosmo · December 2007

tish wrote:

Last weekend, I invited a man over to watch videos since the snow didn't call for going out for coffee. This guy took the invitation as sexual rights. Except for him (respecting) my "No's", I'd say he did everything but rape me. He said I was asking for it by the way I was dressed. And if I wouldn't do this, would I do that? And since I wouldn't do that, would I do this? In the words of Avril Lavigne, it was "badder than it sounds." I held the door open for him to leave and that took 15 painful minutes.

The experience rates #2 in my top two worst times with a male. (The first, worst time being when I nearly divorced yet managed to help write a few hit songs...)

...
You know what would have stopped him dead in his tracks?
"Well... I would bang you... but, my genital herpes is flaring up right now."
OR
"Is that a half a roll of Tum in your pants... or are you happy to see me?"
OR
"I would... but I don't know if my Haitian interveneous drug using male prostitute boyfriend will drop by."

Hawkshore · December 2007

TrixieCat wrote:

But it is.
Dont hate people, please. That is depressing to me.
This day and age, no one is invited in my home unless I know them. (very well)
I am not going to go into detail on a public message board, but it is just not wise to let anyone into your home. Or give out your address.. Or give out your sexual kinks unless you are a lonely desperate fool.
It stinks yes, but it is intelligent.

Come on Trixie you know your sexual kinks have always been safe with me

Blackeyedangel · December 2007

Indian Summer wrote:

First I'm and asshole....

...then you agree with me.....

Doesn't that make you an asshole as well?

First off the quoting system here sucks ass.

No the problem I have is with the whole sex being owed thing, or asking for it.

Inviting skeevy peoples over is dumb, but that doesn't give that person the right to sex and act likd a jackass.

Blackeyedangel · December 2007

TrixieCat wrote:

But it is.
Dont hate people, please. That is depressing to me.
This day and age, no one is invited in my home unless I know them. (very well)
I am not going to go into detail on a public message board, but it is just not wise to let anyone into your home. Or give out your address.. Or give out your sexual kinks unless you are a lonely desperate fool.
It stinks yes, but it is intelligent.

Shit I wouldn't do that on the internet either. But I'm quite set in my misanthropic ways.

brainofPJ · December 2007

oh the things i would do to you tish.

boop.

JD Sal · December 2007

I'm surprised more people aren't commenting about this:

http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=265129&highlight=neighbor

Tell me not to do it. The neighbor that is.

tish wrote:

I have been seeing a nice guy once a week for over a month now.
But I answered my door to my neighbor, with whom I met at the gym, then shot some hoops with and again I'm in agony for not going to bed with him. GRRRR...
Please, someone, tell me not to do the neighbor.

Indian Summer · December 2007

Blackeyedangel wrote:

First off the quoting system here sucks ass.

No the problem I have is with the whole sex being owed thing, or asking for it.

Inviting skeevy peoples over is dumb, but that doesn't give that person the right to sex and act likd a jackass.

I don't think I said she owed him sex (i'm not reading 13 pages of this crap to find out what I said exactly)......he expected it.

Indian Summer · December 2007

JD Sal wrote:

I'm surprised more people aren't commenting about this:

http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=265129&highlight=neighbor

Tell me not to do it. The neighbor that is.

Now that's fucking hilarious!!!! Thanks for the laugh.....and now for an Everclear quote:

"You put yourself in stupid places, yes I think you know its true. Situations where its easy to look down on you. I think you like to be the victim, I think you like to be in pain. I think you make yourself the victim almost every single day."

AstroFan · December 2007

tish wrote:

Last weekend, I invited a man over to watch videos since the snow didn't call for going out for coffee. This guy took the invitation as sexual rights. Except for him (respecting) my "No's", I'd say he did everything but rape me. He said I was asking for it by the way I was dressed. And if I wouldn't do this, would I do that? And since I wouldn't do that, would I do this? In the words of Avril Lavigne, it was "badder than it sounds." I held the door open for him to leave and that took 15 painful minutes.

The experience rates #2 in my top two worst times with a male. (The first, worst time being when I nearly divorced yet managed to help write a few hit songs...)

I don't get it...

If he respected you saying "no," I don't see how rape would even enter into the equation. The questions afterwards make him sound more like a desperate fool than a rapist.

Just as rape is a terrible crime, falsely accusing somebody of it is also pretty serious, so I think it's a bad idea to throw the word around carelessly. Unless something has been completely omitted, it looks like the word "rape" was thrown in there for dramatic effect.

small town beck · December 2007

AstroFan wrote:

I don't get it...

If he respected you saying "no," I don't see how rape would even enter into the equation. The questions afterwards make him sound more like a desperate fool than a rapist.

Just as rape is a terrible crime, falsely accusing somebody of it is also pretty serious, so I think it's a bad idea to throw the word around carelessly. Unless something has been completely omitted, it looks like the word "rape" was thrown in there for dramatic effect.

I agree with you. I mean I could see where she may have felt threatened but I agree that the term rape might be a bit careless. However, a lot of these other comments just made me sad. A girl wants sex and enjoys it so therefore she should have sex with every guy and it is right for him to expect it??

:(

MyHandsBound · December 2007

tish wrote:

Last weekend, I invited a man over to watch videos since the snow didn't call for going out for coffee. This guy took the invitation as sexual rights. Except for him (respecting) my "No's", I'd say he did everything but rape me. He said I was asking for it by the way I was dressed. And if I wouldn't do this, would I do that? And since I wouldn't do that, would I do this? In the words of Avril Lavigne, it was "badder than it sounds." I held the door open for him to leave and that took 15 painful minutes.

The experience rates #2 in my top two worst times with a male. (The first, worst time being when I nearly divorced yet managed to help write a few hit songs...)

I'm happy you're alright......

genie · December 2007

soulsinging wrote:

so now all men are guilty of any crimes you think they might possibly commit? if i say hello and you think "jesus, he could rape me"

hehe, that's funny

genie · December 2007

Blackeyedangel wrote:

I really hate people.

i do too

but not everyone completely. good people should be more talked about and been made to look up to. and what do we have in this day and age? some fucking gangs, that teenagers dream of being in, it seems like the more you are uneducated, badly mannered and loud mouthed, then the more you are respected amongst other teenagers......who then turn into adults. Adults that still have same views as they had when they were teenagers.....scary.

sorry i'm off the topic now

soulsinging · December 2007

JD Sal wrote:

I'm surprised more people aren't commenting about this:

http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=265129&highlight=neighbor

Tell me not to do it. The neighbor that is.

ah ha, suddenly everything becomes a little bit clearer and my sympathy disappears. my money's on she invited him over for the booty call and got cold feet and was just pissed off when he called her on it and on being a tease.

Indian Summer · December 2007

soulsinging wrote:

ah ha, suddenly everything becomes a little bit clearer and my sympathy disappears. my money's on she invited him over for the booty call and got cold feet and was just pissed off when he called her on it and on being a tease.

wow...are you a CSI?

vital5 · December 2007

Indian Summer wrote:

Now that's fucking hilarious!!!! Thanks for the laugh.....and now for an Everclear quote:

"You put yourself in stupid places, yes I think you know its true. Situations where its easy to look down on you. I think you like to be the victim, I think you like to be in pain. I think you make yourself the victim almost every single day."

they forgot to put in things about innocent mistakes and arsehole males who don't let up, hey there are some women out there like this too!

Glad it didn't get any worse... had he been over before?

vital5 · December 2007

genie wrote:

i do too but not everyone completely. good people should be more talked about and been made to look up to. and what do we have in this day and age? some fucking gangs, that teenagers dream of being in, it seems like the more you are uneducated, badly mannered and loud mouthed, then the more you are respected amongst other teenagers......who then turn into adults. Adults that still have same views as they had when they were teenagers.....scary.

sorry i'm off the topic now

yeah bring back child punishment through smacking and horse whipping

kidding about the latter... i mean bring back discipline

young punks these days need some! they are getting out of hand.

genie · December 2007

AllNiteThing wrote:

Seriously? Could it be that you just despise men? Do you realize men are driven by sex? I can never understand how women are still clueless about men, or just refuse to accept them. I believe it's this very 'awful' society, as you say, that protects women from the 'caveman' mentality that had evolved and is ingrained deep in mans' brains.

If you look at most other species, the male by and large takes what he wants. Sexually, territorially, whatever. Sure, there are courtships in many instances, but there is little protection or repurcussions for the male to do what he pleases and when. Is it right or wrong? It's nature, and it is what drives the success of species. That being said, that mentality was with us at some point, and really hasn't been challenged until fairly recently (historically). Our society has changed/evolved to make women more equal in the procreation equation, thus stymying (sp?) many a mans sexual advancements or aggression.

Obviously any sort of malicious behavior or intent on the part of a man (or woman) either emotionally or physically/sexually is taboo in our society and cannot be viewed favorably. It is up to every individual in this society to behave appropriately and within the boundaries, if they expect to remain in this society. However, you can't ignore biology, history and the way of the world. While it's great to imagine a utopia where everyone has the same sexual drive as you, same mannerisms and same view of wrong/right, that is just fantasy land and you are setting yourself up for disappointment (or worse). While this girl shouldn't expect everyone man to be a jerk, she SHOULD understand that most men would take her actions as flirtatious, and EXPECT that SOME men out there MAY act inappropriately, ESPECIALLY, and here's the key, men she doesn't even know!

To take someone's analogy, if you buy a high end sports car, you would be stupid to park it in a shoddy neighborhood that you know nothing about. Sure, it would be nice if everyone respected your property, but if you're stupid about said property, don't be surprised when something happens. Crime happens, no matter if you like it or not, it's your job to avoid those situations.

Hey, wait a minute there! Blackeyedangel didn't say he dispises men, and he wasn't the one who started talk about "cavemen". he was talking about people...about everyone of us.

I hate rules of the nature, and that we humans still have primitive urges in us. Sure i understand everything you've written in your post, but we shouldn't blame things on nature, we as a society should better ourselves always.
I'm not saying we should aim for some fucking fantasy land, but each person should try and be on their best behaviour and help others.

*edit* For Blackeyedangel
actually once i said unpleasant sarcastic comment to you, and you didn't understand me, and written a good reply to me. so i'm sorry, i was was a bit of a bitch to you for no aparent reason from what i can remember.

Acquaintance Rape

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