Acquaintance Rape

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  • JD SalJD Sal Posts: 790
    aNiMaL wrote:
    Isn't Tish the same girl who started a thread about wanting to have sex with her neighbor while "seeing" another guy?

    :rolleyes:

    Read page 15 or 16 Animal ;)
    "If no one sees you, you're not here at all"
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    I don't think we are being told the whole story either but people were jumping all over her and mocking her here. Maybe it was intense and she felt threatened, maybe she changed her mind I don't know. Crying rape when you haven't been is despicable. It was even all you or maybe not you at all I am not sure but you certainly weren't the one ready to burn her at the stake. I didn't say YOU said she deserved anything. Just seems like people were trying to call her down because of a previous thread. Women have to be more careful, sad but true and sometimes we learn lessons the hard way :(

    call her down? i dont know what that means. the reason people reacted was becos nobody remembered that at first. then suddenly after pages of debating, it is revealed this was the same girl who was plotting to seduce her neighbor not long ago. it kind of turned the tide.
  • call her down? i dont know what that means. the reason people reacted was becos nobody remembered that at first. then suddenly after pages of debating, it is revealed this was the same girl who was plotting to seduce her neighbor not long ago. it kind of turned the tide.

    To call someone down? :confused: maybe it is a Canadian thing :p To call someone down to the lowest? anyway not my point. Even if she did invite a guy over it doesn't mean it was for sex and maybe this is a different guy. And she can change her mind.. that SAID the thread title is still misleading and while true we are only hearing one part of one side of the story. Really we are just beating a dead horse here. I once made the mistake of posting in a previous rape thread on here and I should have learned my lesson. My mistake.
  • AnonAnon Posts: 11,175
    I'd like to hear what Tish has to say in response to her neighbor post now. Tish? Comments?
  • vital5vital5 Posts: 5,486
    I met Ed wrote:
    I'd like to hear what Tish has to say in response to her neighbor post now. Tish? Comments?
    Tish's Lawyer said she wishes to make no comment :D
  • JD Sal wrote:
    I'm surprised more people aren't commenting about this:

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=265129&highlight=neighbor

    Tell me not to do it. The neighbor that is.
    lmao. what the fuck?

    this girl has some serious issues.


    ooh and indian summer. I don't recall but I thought I didn't like you. I thought I had dealt with you in another thread about something completely unrelated, but now that I think about it I believe I have you confused with someone else. My sincere apologies.


    *edited for a bit more clarity*
  • pjfan31pjfan31 Posts: 7,333
    tish wrote:
    Last weekend, I invited a man over to watch videos since the snow didn't call for going out for coffee. This guy took the invitation as sexual rights. Except for him (respecting) my "No's", I'd say he did everything but rape me. He said I was asking for it by the way I was dressed. And if I wouldn't do this, would I do that? And since I wouldn't do that, would I do this? In the words of Avril Lavigne, it was "badder than it sounds." I held the door open for him to leave and that took 15 painful minutes.

    The experience rates #2 in my top two worst times with a male. (The first, worst time being when I nearly divorced yet managed to help write a few hit songs...)

    Ah i know wat song u wrote. Avril Lavigne song. U know why i know? No self respecting Pearl Jam fan would admit to knowing lyrics to Avril Lavigne.

    BTW that sucks about that bloke, i would beat the shit outta him.
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  • danny72688 wrote:
    Nowhere did I call her a slut, whore, whatever or imply that she was. Watching a movie at her house, alone, probably lights out, is basically a date. It's more of a date than going to the theater with someone. In a man's mind, that means that something is going down, I'd say 90% or more of the time. Again, not justifying or approving of his actions.

    And as far as your experience, the drugs are probably the culprit, not your co-worker. If he was "too off his face" then he obviously wasn't acting normal. You gotta be careful yourself.


    Anyway, this is a dead horse it seems, I just wanted to point out that you were putting words and ideas in my mouth.
    since when does a date mean you're getting laid though?

    And yeh, I blamed the drugs too and not him, that's why I didn't report him... 'the drugs' still raped another girl the following week. Does that make him less responsible? Too many excuses... 'it wasn't his fault, it was the drugs', 'well it was like a date', 'she was dressed sexy'

    when are people gonna take responsibilty for THEIR fuck ups?
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • hehe once this guy whom I knew and had gone on a few dates with but had become mostly just platonic with asked if I wanted to "watch a movie" one night. I totally assumed he wanted to hook up! I was fine with that idea...so he comes over...and he really just wanted to watch a movie! I felt very foolish!
    I'd say so... I've male friends... if they asked me to 'watch a movie' I'd take it as that and not once has it been anything else :o . If they asked me 'to go out' I would take it as a date... neither of them is an assumption that they're getting any sex though.
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • drivingrl wrote:
    It doesn't have to go as far as rape. It's an imbalance of power I'm referring to. That threat or that feeling like a situation is out of your control.
    This is the bit they don't get. I've been in that situation a FEW times... where if you don't wanna go further, for a split second there is a moment of force before they see sense and that split second is enough to get your defences up and to scare ya. I'm pleased to see the split of the men on this thread seems to be 50/50 with regards to understanding that though. Because obviously what I've described is nowhere near coming close to rape but in that moment you just simply don't know and the thought that it COULD happen is bad enough.
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • Seriously? Inviting someone to your house shouldn't be that much of a matter. It is this retardedly sex obsessed culture we live in that fucks everything up. I really don't see why inviting someone over your house should be synonymous with sex.

    I really hate people.
    I don't get it either... I've never understood the muslim thing that women and men can't be alone together or that the woman should wear her scarf if a man's in the room... that's the way things are going. I don't know how it's got around to this... I guess some people have VERY little self esteem or something cos I can't understand how ANY woman could go along with the 'well she invited him into her house' :eek: or 'if she was dressed like that, what did she expect' argument... especially considering how some of these women are constantly looking for the male attention on this board so I find it quite ironic. I really really don't get it...
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • drivingrl wrote:
    Oh, sorry. I meant, the imbalance of power after she says "No."

    And I agree, perceiving an imbalance of power doesn't warrant crying "harassment!", because almost anything is offensive nowadays. (Like the thing in Australia about Santa Claus not being allowed to say "Ho, ho, ho!" anymore. wtf?)

    But it's very hard to describe how it feels when that line has been crossed and someone has exerted that kind of power over you. I have several friends who have been raped, and it... I know this sounds like an exaggeration, but it's been almost crippling to them.

    It's something that makes a victim of these types of things question everything. "Was it something I said?" or "Maybe I shouldn't have worn that," or "Maybe I came onto him," or "How will I ever be intimate with another man again?" Which is terrible because it's never ever the victim's fault. Like everyone else said, "No" means "No".

    I suppose also women have heard the story too many times cos women are more likely to open up to other women about this kinda thing... I too know several women who have been raped/abused/assaulted. I'm willing to guess most women do. I think the percentage is FAR higher than we're lead to believe.
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • TrixieCat wrote:
    Or give out your sexual kinks unless you are a lonely desperate fool.
    I agree 100% :)
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • WOW, what we have here is...........!!

    I'm not saying a word..heheheh
    yeh that's really really funny :rolleyes:

    who said it was the neighbour? Coulda been the nice guy!

    Secondly what the fuck does it have to do with ANYTHING? :confused:

    sick sick sick sick sick people in this world.
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • PearlerPearler Posts: 191
    Tish, maybe you should have tried the ketchup affect...

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=L7703Lnkzio
  • in_hiding79in_hiding79 Posts: 4,315
    yeh that's really really funny :rolleyes:

    who said it was the neighbour? Coulda been the nice guy!

    Secondly what the fuck does it have to do with ANYTHING? :confused:

    sick sick sick sick sick people in this world.


    HUH??
    And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,"
    "What a stupid lamb."
    "What a sick, masochistic lion."
  • HUH??
    in reply to her other thread? You thought it was funny and several of you imply that because she may have asked in another thread if she should 'bang her neighbour' well anything that happens to her from then on actually doesn't matter :rolleyes: . 'The Accused' springs to mind.

    Nice :rolleyes:
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • in_hiding79in_hiding79 Posts: 4,315
    in reply to her other thread? You thought it was funny and several of you imply that because she may have asked in another thread if she should 'bang her neighbour' well anything that happens to her from then on actually doesn't matter :rolleyes: . 'The Accused' springs to mind.

    Nice :rolleyes:


    Weird and really like playing the victim springs to mind actually!!
    And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,"
    "What a stupid lamb."
    "What a sick, masochistic lion."
  • intodeepintodeep Posts: 7,228
    JD Sal wrote:
    I'm surprised more people aren't commenting about this:

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=265129&highlight=neighbor

    Tell me not to do it. The neighbor that is.

    Thank you for bringing this up. I asked about it on page three but i don't think anyone noticed then.
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  • Weird and really like playing the victim springs to mind actually!!
    fake and saying everything simply to impress men springs to mind... but hey, I'm not gonna get myself banned over you honey :)

    Judge not lest ye be judged and all that :)
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • since when does a date mean you're getting laid though?

    And yeh, I blamed the drugs too and not him, that's why I didn't report him... 'the drugs' still raped another girl the following week. Does that make him less responsible? Too many excuses... 'it wasn't his fault, it was the drugs', 'well it was like a date', 'she was dressed sexy'

    when are people gonna take responsibilty for THEIR fuck ups?
    Well I might be the only one, but when a date consists of going to somebody's house to watch a video, well that's the que :p

    Going out to the theater, maybe you'll get action if you come back to her house or she comes over. Going out to eat, maybe, maybe not. Walk on the beach, more than likely ;)

    It just depends on where the "date" or "meeting" takes place. I feel it's implied when going to somebody's house, just the two of you, for longer than, "let me grab my checkbook" or whatever.


    And I do agree that his actions were irresponsible and he can't really blame her for what he thought may happen. There isn't an excuse for what he did, but I can see why he was under the impression that he had a chance. He's a jerk for insisting, I don't think anybody disagrees with that. Maybe he had a few drinks in him, I don't feel we have the whole story from tish.


    And I have to ask, unless you're really good friends with a guy, do you invite them over or go over to his house? That's looking for trouble unless you know the person is not into you like that. If he's a creep or stalker, then now he knows where you live.
  • danny72688 wrote:
    Well I might be the only one, but when a date consists of going to somebody's house to watch a video, well that's the que :p

    Wow, see I would see that as being too obvious to BE a date. If someone said to me why don't I go over and watch a movie... I would actually presume that was what they meant. Now if they asked me in for 'coffee' at the end of the night, well that's a whole other story.

    See again we could be talking about locational differences. We don't really do dating at all over here so someone asks you to their house it isn't even a date. And is it just me or does it seem mostly Americans who can't have opposite gender friends? Us Europeans don't seem to have a clue what the fuck this is all about?
    danny72688 wrote:
    And I do agree that his actions were irresponsible and he can't really blame her for what he thought may happen. There isn't an excuse for what he did, but I can see why he was under the impression that he had a chance. He's a jerk for insisting, I don't think anybody disagrees with that. Maybe he had a few drinks in him, I don't feel we have the whole story from tish.

    I agree with that paragraph. I too can see why he thought he had a CHANCE... but again, nobody should feel like anybody's a sure thing.
    danny72688 wrote:
    And I have to ask, unless you're really good friends with a guy, do you invite them over or go over to his house? That's looking for trouble unless you know the person is not into you like that. If he's a creep or stalker, then now he knows where you live.
    But I thought ALL guys are into women like that if this thread's to be believed? So again, going by this thread, if all guys fancy all women well then women are stupid by being alone in a room with any guy.

    The case I'm talking about, I was at a party in his house... with several other guys and girls that I worked with at the time. We just happened to be in a room alone.
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • Wow, see I would see that as being too obvious to BE a date. If someone said to me why don't I go over and watch a movie... I would actually presume that was what they meant. Now if they asked me in for 'coffee' at the end of the night, well that's a whole other story.

    See again we could be talking about locational differences. We don't really do dating at all over here so someone asks you to their house it isn't even a date. And is it just me or does it seem mostly Americans who can't have opposite gender friends? Us Europeans don't seem to have a clue what the fuck this is all about?
    Sure you can have opposite gender friends. I think girls are better than guys to have as friends myself.
    You would really think that it was just to watch a movie? Let's say you liked the guy and thought he liked you when he asked you over. Would your thoughts about the night be the same?

    I agree with that paragraph. I too can see why he thought he had a CHANCE... but again, nobody should feel like anybody's a sure thing.


    But I thought ALL guys are into women like that if this thread's to be believed? So again, going by this thread, if all guys fancy all women well then women are stupid by being alone in a room with any guy.

    The case I'm talking about, I was at a party in his house... with several other guys and girls that I worked with at the time. We just happened to be in a room alone.
    All men are sex-driven pigs ;)
    And women are stupid for letting their guard down because it's common knowledge that men are sex-driven pigs ;)


    In your case, things just got out of hand it seems, and the guy was probably sex sober for a while (which is why he moved to another girl the next week) and sex was a high priority. Just a guess from what I read.
  • danny72688 wrote:
    Sure you can have opposite gender friends. I think girls are better than guys to have as friends myself.
    You would really think that it was just to watch a movie? Let's say you liked the guy and thought he liked you when he asked you over. Would your thoughts about the night be the same?

    Most of MY friends are male and yeh, I'm sure SOME of them wouldn't be opposed to something happening if it did... but there are also some of them who wouldn't even consider it. If I liked him, sure things would be different... but I wouldn't assume he liked me or that we were both thinking the same thing. Surely everyone in each gender has been knocked back enough to avoid making assumptions?
    danny72688 wrote:
    All men are sex-driven pigs ;)
    And women are stupid for letting their guard down because it's common knowledge that men are sex-driven pigs ;)

    well then aren't men stupid for forgetting that women AREN'T sex driven pigs?
    danny72688 wrote:
    In your case, things just got out of hand it seems, and the guy was probably sex sober for a while (which is why he moved to another girl the next week) and sex was a high priority. Just a guess from what I read.
    No in that case he was just a prick... why must there always be an explanation or an excuse? Not to sound like a bitch but you did ask how I could be IN a situation like that with a guy... I replied... I wasn't looking for your opinion on what happened cos you weren't there but I sure as fuck was. So again sorry for being rude but I made enough excuses for him at the time... I don't need anyone else to do that too. And I didn't TELL you enough for you to judge on what you read.
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • Most of MY friends are male and yeh, I'm sure SOME of them wouldn't be opposed to something happening if it did... but there are also some of them who wouldn't even consider it. If I liked him, sure things would be different... but I wouldn't assume he liked me or that we were both thinking the same thing. Surely everyone in each gender has been knocked back enough to avoid making assumptions?
    Depends on the person I suppose.

    well then aren't men stupid for forgetting that women AREN'T sex driven pigs?
    Yes. Inconsiderate and selfish. But it's not our fault, we love sex ;)
    No in that case he was just a prick... why must there always be an explanation or an excuse? Not to sound like a bitch but you did ask how I could be IN a situation like that with a guy... I replied... I wasn't looking for your opinion on what happened cos you weren't there but I sure as fuck was. So again sorry for being rude but I made enough excuses for him at the time... I don't need anyone else to do that too. And I didn't TELL you enough for you to judge on what you read.
    My apologies then.
  • danny72688 wrote:
    Depends on the person I suppose.



    Yes. Inconsiderate and selfish. But it's not our fault, we love sex ;)


    My apologies then.
    Yep of COURSE it depends on the person. I know men can be quite easy... but I also know that not ALL of them fancy me :rolleyes: . We love sex too :)

    Thank you!
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • drivingrldrivingrl Posts: 1,448
    I suppose also women have heard the story too many times cos women are more likely to open up to other women about this kinda thing... I too know several women who have been raped/abused/assaulted. I'm willing to guess most women do. I think the percentage is FAR higher than we're lead to believe.

    One in four women are raped here in the United States, so that should say something.

    Ultimately, my point is, it's nothing short of horrible to say someone is bringing rape or the threat of rape upon herself (or himself). No one ever asks for that. lol

    And as far as these judgments for her wanting to have sex with her neighbor... Heaven forbid she have desires! And I understand the guy she invited to her house had desires, too, but he barely knew better to stop pushing her when she said "No."
    drivingrl: "Will I ever get to meet Gwen Stefani?"
    kevinbeetle: "Yes. When her career washes up and her and Gavin move to Galveston, you will meet her at Hot Topic shopping for a Japanese cheerleader outfit.

    Next!"
  • No...it's good judgment to take steps and make decisions that will increase your safety and not put yourself in risky situations it's your job not to break the law. If crime happens the only person responsible is the person who made the choice to violate the law. We're rational, thinking beings with the ability to make decisions, regardless of biology, history, etc.


    I think you're still thinking in those utopic terms I was referring. Of course it is MY job and anyone elses job out there to NOT break the law (as I said), if you want to be a part of this society. Unfortunately you can't rely on everyone to do their job (ESPECIALLY people you do not know). The only thing you can control, is yourself, which means avoiding situations that are risky, and not being naive and stupid to how the world works. Rationality and thinking do not always override biology and history as you may want it to. That is why rape, murder, etc etc will never, ever go away, no matter how much you want it to.
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • genie wrote:
    Hey, wait a minute there! Blackeyedangel didn't say he dispises men, and he wasn't the one who started talk about "cavemen". he was talking about people...about everyone of us.

    I hate rules of the nature, and that we humans still have primitive urges in us. Sure i understand everything you've written in your post, but we shouldn't blame things on nature, we as a society should better ourselves always.
    I'm not saying we should aim for some fucking fantasy land, but each person should try and be on their best behaviour and help others.

    *edit* For Blackeyedangel
    actually once i said unpleasant sarcastic comment to you, and you didn't understand me, and written a good reply to me. so i'm sorry, i was was a bit of a bitch to you for no aparent reason from what i can remember.


    Oops, my bad. blackeyedangel certainly came off as a woman. :D

    I agree with you too, you should be able to see that from my post. Of course we shouldn't blame nature, but ignoring it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, and it is up to each one of us to behave accordingly in this society if we want to stay out of trouble. Problem is, nature doesn't care if you ignore it or pass laws against it, it always has and always will rear its ugly head now and again. If you're ignorant to that, then you put yourself at risk.
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • The ChampThe Champ Posts: 4,063
    JD Sal wrote:
    I'm surprised more people aren't commenting about this:

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=265129&highlight=neighbor

    Tell me not to do it. The neighbor that is.

    So this is the same chick who is surprised that some dude would have the nerve to hit on her when she invited him over for a cozy cuddly movie escape from the brutally cold but romantic snow filled Winter evening? Give me a fucking break. What a dumb fucking pointless thread...and she hasn't responded to her own dumb thread in days coz she's embarrassed and/or blowing the neighbor..
    'I want to hurry home to you
    put on a slow, dumb show for you
    and crack you up
    so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
    god I'm very, very frightening
    and I'll overdo it'
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