Last weekend, I invited a man over to watch videos since the snow didn't call for going out for coffee. This guy took the invitation as sexual rights. Except for him (respecting) my "No's", I'd say he did everything but rape me. He said I was asking for it by the way I was dressed. And if I wouldn't do this, would I do that? And since I wouldn't do that, would I do this? In the words of Avril Lavigne, it was "badder than it sounds." I held the door open for him to leave and that took 15 painful minutes.
The experience rates #2 in my top two worst times with a male. (The first, worst time being when I nearly divorced yet managed to help write a few hit songs...)
I don't get it...
If he respected you saying "no," I don't see how rape would even enter into the equation. The questions afterwards make him sound more like a desperate fool than a rapist.
Just as rape is a terrible crime, falsely accusing somebody of it is also pretty serious, so I think it's a bad idea to throw the word around carelessly. Unless something has been completely omitted, it looks like the word "rape" was thrown in there for dramatic effect.
If he respected you saying "no," I don't see how rape would even enter into the equation. The questions afterwards make him sound more like a desperate fool than a rapist.
Just as rape is a terrible crime, falsely accusing somebody of it is also pretty serious, so I think it's a bad idea to throw the word around carelessly. Unless something has been completely omitted, it looks like the word "rape" was thrown in there for dramatic effect.
I agree with you. I mean I could see where she may have felt threatened but I agree that the term rape might be a bit careless. However, a lot of these other comments just made me sad. A girl wants sex and enjoys it so therefore she should have sex with every guy and it is right for him to expect it?? :(
Last weekend, I invited a man over to watch videos since the snow didn't call for going out for coffee. This guy took the invitation as sexual rights. Except for him (respecting) my "No's", I'd say he did everything but rape me. He said I was asking for it by the way I was dressed. And if I wouldn't do this, would I do that? And since I wouldn't do that, would I do this? In the words of Avril Lavigne, it was "badder than it sounds." I held the door open for him to leave and that took 15 painful minutes.
The experience rates #2 in my top two worst times with a male. (The first, worst time being when I nearly divorced yet managed to help write a few hit songs...)
i do too but not everyone completely. good people should be more talked about and been made to look up to. and what do we have in this day and age? some fucking gangs, that teenagers dream of being in, it seems like the more you are uneducated, badly mannered and loud mouthed, then the more you are respected amongst other teenagers......who then turn into adults. Adults that still have same views as they had when they were teenagers.....scary.
ah ha, suddenly everything becomes a little bit clearer and my sympathy disappears. my money's on she invited him over for the booty call and got cold feet and was just pissed off when he called her on it and on being a tease.
ah ha, suddenly everything becomes a little bit clearer and my sympathy disappears. my money's on she invited him over for the booty call and got cold feet and was just pissed off when he called her on it and on being a tease.
Now that's fucking hilarious!!!! Thanks for the laugh.....and now for an Everclear quote:
"You put yourself in stupid places, yes I think you know its true. Situations where its easy to look down on you. I think you like to be the victim, I think you like to be in pain. I think you make yourself the victim almost every single day."
they forgot to put in things about innocent mistakes and arsehole males who don't let up, hey there are some women out there like this too!
Glad it didn't get any worse... had he been over before?
i do too but not everyone completely. good people should be more talked about and been made to look up to. and what do we have in this day and age? some fucking gangs, that teenagers dream of being in, it seems like the more you are uneducated, badly mannered and loud mouthed, then the more you are respected amongst other teenagers......who then turn into adults. Adults that still have same views as they had when they were teenagers.....scary.
sorry i'm off the topic now
yeah bring back child punishment through smacking and horse whipping kidding about the latter... i mean bring back discipline young punks these days need some! they are getting out of hand.
Seriously? Could it be that you just despise men? Do you realize men are driven by sex? I can never understand how women are still clueless about men, or just refuse to accept them. I believe it's this very 'awful' society, as you say, that protects women from the 'caveman' mentality that had evolved and is ingrained deep in mans' brains.
If you look at most other species, the male by and large takes what he wants. Sexually, territorially, whatever. Sure, there are courtships in many instances, but there is little protection or repurcussions for the male to do what he pleases and when. Is it right or wrong? It's nature, and it is what drives the success of species. That being said, that mentality was with us at some point, and really hasn't been challenged until fairly recently (historically). Our society has changed/evolved to make women more equal in the procreation equation, thus stymying (sp?) many a mans sexual advancements or aggression.
Obviously any sort of malicious behavior or intent on the part of a man (or woman) either emotionally or physically/sexually is taboo in our society and cannot be viewed favorably. It is up to every individual in this society to behave appropriately and within the boundaries, if they expect to remain in this society. However, you can't ignore biology, history and the way of the world. While it's great to imagine a utopia where everyone has the same sexual drive as you, same mannerisms and same view of wrong/right, that is just fantasy land and you are setting yourself up for disappointment (or worse). While this girl shouldn't expect everyone man to be a jerk, she SHOULD understand that most men would take her actions as flirtatious, and EXPECT that SOME men out there MAY act inappropriately, ESPECIALLY, and here's the key, men she doesn't even know!
To take someone's analogy, if you buy a high end sports car, you would be stupid to park it in a shoddy neighborhood that you know nothing about. Sure, it would be nice if everyone respected your property, but if you're stupid about said property, don't be surprised when something happens. Crime happens, no matter if you like it or not, it's your job to avoid those situations.
Hey, wait a minute there! Blackeyedangel didn't say he dispises men, and he wasn't the one who started talk about "cavemen". he was talking about people...about everyone of us.
I hate rules of the nature, and that we humans still have primitive urges in us. Sure i understand everything you've written in your post, but we shouldn't blame things on nature, we as a society should better ourselves always.
I'm not saying we should aim for some fucking fantasy land, but each person should try and be on their best behaviour and help others.
*edit* For Blackeyedangel
actually once i said unpleasant sarcastic comment to you, and you didn't understand me, and written a good reply to me. so i'm sorry, i was was a bit of a bitch to you for no aparent reason from what i can remember.
oh, i see. isn't she supposed to be dating this "nice" guy?? i don't think i've written my reply to her thread. but i was disgusted to hear some people give her advice to have sex with another guy when she was clearly going out with someone.
so is that the neighbour? if so this explains alot, especially why she would invite him over to her house so easily......indeed why go meet up miles away in snowy weather when you can be lazy and meet up at each other's homes.
if that's the case, then he could've scored with her. if he followed few things.
first he could've been Mr. nice guy or a shy guy and play it very innocent. but since she already had mr. nice guy, he should have gone for
mr."i don't give a fuck" he should've acted arrogantly in front of her, as if she was lucky to be with him, he should've ignored her couple of times, and he should've only been interested in her brains......hehe i'm sure that would've done the trick
btw, please don't ask me to explain this bullshit i've written in here, it's late at night i've had a very stressful day and i'm just trying to chill out
Suffice to say, Tish, I'm sorry this happened to you. It's not your fault, you did everything you could to get your point across, clearly this guy had a whole other agenda that you couldn't possibly know about. At least you eventually were able to get him to leave. PLEASE do not let it color your view on all men. Although with some of the rubbish that's been levelled here I'd not be surprised if the very thought of them leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Just know that there are good people out there, men and women and this guy wasn't one of them. Do not allow him to let his bad behaviour change who you are or how you go into the world. Because then he's won. And he doesn't sound like much of a winner to me.
Well earlier someone pointed out that she made a thread about wanting to have sex with another guy and how ironic that is now because of this guy?? It seems like they are implying that she somehow deserved this, I wasn't attempting to be dramatic. I did say that I thought the thread title was mis leading and assuming this situ is the same as being raped is insulting to rape victims. This event was SO far from it. It makes us SO much harder for women that actually are raped. I am just really tired of all the misogyny that exists.
a woman has every right to tease the fuck out of a guy... then say no!
i'm a guy I've had the above happen once or twice.. and well... I guess I didn't get a couple of them drunk enough and they said no at the time..... I respected that
why can't a guy who has been rejected go with it? if he has a brain he'll make up a story to tell his mates?
I also on the other hand don't kiss and tell....
oh, i see. isn't she supposed to be dating this "nice" guy?? i don't think i've written my reply to her thread. but i was disgusted to hear some people give her advice to have sex with another guy when she was clearly going out with someone.
so is that the neighbour? if so this explains alot, especially why she would invite him over to her house so easily......indeed why go meet up miles away in snowy weather when you can be lazy and meet up at each other's homes.
if that's the case, then he could've scored with her. if he followed few things.
first he could've been Mr. nice guy or a shy guy and play it very innocent. but since she already had mr. nice guy, he should have gone for
mr."i don't give a fuck" he should've acted arrogantly in front of her, as if she was lucky to be with him, he should've ignored her couple of times, and he should've only been interested in her brains......hehe i'm sure that would've done the trick
btw, please don't ask me to explain this bullshit i've written in here, it's late at night i've had a very stressful day and i'm just trying to chill out
It's just interesting that some of the people who were telling her to 'go for it' and to 'bang the neighbor' in that thread are now saying in this thread that the guy is a pig, and he should have never expected anything more than an innocent night of watching movies. Who knows, maybe the neighbor is a PJ fan and read her posts?
Point is, there are severe inconsistencies with her story and we haven't even heard his side of it. Women can't be so quick to throw the rape word around. Someone earlier in this thread suggested that she press charges against the guy for sexual assault. I'm sorry, nothing bothers me more than a guy who can't take no for an answer. BUT, how can you make a thread a week ago saying you're dating a guy but you REGRET not banging your neighbor, then you come here and throw the rape word around when the supposed neighbor made an advance on you?
Now that's fucking hilarious!!!! Thanks for the laugh.....and now for an Everclear quote:
"You put yourself in stupid places, yes I think you know its true. Situations where its easy to look down on you. I think you like to be the victim, I think you like to be in pain. I think you make yourself the victim almost every single day."
Oh, how I loved Everclear back in the day!!!!!
And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,"
"What a stupid lamb."
"What a sick, masochistic lion."
Well earlier someone pointed out that she made a thread about wanting to have sex with another guy and how ironic that is now because of this guy?? It seems like they are implying that she somehow deserved this, I wasn't attempting to be dramatic. I did say that I thought the thread title was mis leading and assuming this situ is the same as being raped is insulting to rape victims. This event was SO far from it. It makes us SO much harder for women that actually are raped. I am just really tired of all the misogyny that exists.
Please don't quote me out of context.
no, it makes her evasiveness here rather suspicious. i never said she deserved anything. i just suspect what happened is she invited this neighbor she's got the hots for over planning on some hooking up, or at least considering it. she made sure she looked good, she flirted. then when he started to kiss her, she chickened out and asked him to stop. he, confused, attempted to convince her to go through with it, she wouldn't budge, and eventually he left. and now she feels guilty as hell for almost cheating on her nice guy bf and tries to pass that guilt off on blaming this guy, who never did anything and by her own admission respected her 'no.' i've seen it before.
no, it makes her evasiveness here rather suspicious. i never said she deserved anything. i just suspect what happened is she invited this neighbor she's got the hots for over planning on some hooking up, or at least considering it. she made sure she looked good, she flirted. then when he started to kiss her, she chickened out and asked him to stop. he, confused, attempted to convince her to go through with it, she wouldn't budge, and eventually he left. and now she feels guilty as hell for almost cheating on her nice guy bf and tries to pass that guilt off on blaming this guy, who never did anything and by her own admission respected her 'no.' i've seen it before.
I don't think we are being told the whole story either but people were jumping all over her and mocking her here. Maybe it was intense and she felt threatened, maybe she changed her mind I don't know. Crying rape when you haven't been is despicable. It was even all you or maybe not you at all I am not sure but you certainly weren't the one ready to burn her at the stake. I didn't say YOU said she deserved anything. Just seems like people were trying to call her down because of a previous thread. Women have to be more careful, sad but true and sometimes we learn lessons the hard way :(
Comments
I don't get it...
If he respected you saying "no," I don't see how rape would even enter into the equation. The questions afterwards make him sound more like a desperate fool than a rapist.
Just as rape is a terrible crime, falsely accusing somebody of it is also pretty serious, so I think it's a bad idea to throw the word around carelessly. Unless something has been completely omitted, it looks like the word "rape" was thrown in there for dramatic effect.
I agree with you. I mean I could see where she may have felt threatened but I agree that the term rape might be a bit careless. However, a lot of these other comments just made me sad. A girl wants sex and enjoys it so therefore she should have sex with every guy and it is right for him to expect it??
I'm happy you're alright......
hehe, that's funny
i do too
sorry i'm off the topic now
ah ha, suddenly everything becomes a little bit clearer and my sympathy disappears. my money's on she invited him over for the booty call and got cold feet and was just pissed off when he called her on it and on being a tease.
wow...are you a CSI?
Glad it didn't get any worse... had he been over before?
Hey, wait a minute there! Blackeyedangel didn't say he dispises men, and he wasn't the one who started talk about "cavemen". he was talking about people...about everyone of us.
I hate rules of the nature, and that we humans still have primitive urges in us. Sure i understand everything you've written in your post, but we shouldn't blame things on nature, we as a society should better ourselves always.
I'm not saying we should aim for some fucking fantasy land, but each person should try and be on their best behaviour and help others.
*edit* For Blackeyedangel
actually once i said unpleasant sarcastic comment to you, and you didn't understand me, and written a good reply to me. so i'm sorry, i was was a bit of a bitch to you for no aparent reason from what i can remember.
oh, i see. isn't she supposed to be dating this "nice" guy?? i don't think i've written my reply to her thread. but i was disgusted to hear some people give her advice to have sex with another guy when she was clearly going out with someone.
so is that the neighbour? if so this explains alot, especially why she would invite him over to her house so easily......indeed why go meet up miles away in snowy weather when you can be lazy and meet up at each other's homes.
if that's the case, then he could've scored with her. if he followed few things.
first he could've been Mr. nice guy or a shy guy and play it very innocent. but since she already had mr. nice guy, he should have gone for
mr."i don't give a fuck" he should've acted arrogantly in front of her, as if she was lucky to be with him, he should've ignored her couple of times, and he should've only been interested in her brains......hehe i'm sure that would've done the trick
btw, please don't ask me to explain this bullshit i've written in here, it's late at night i've had a very stressful day and i'm just trying to chill out
Suffice to say, Tish, I'm sorry this happened to you. It's not your fault, you did everything you could to get your point across, clearly this guy had a whole other agenda that you couldn't possibly know about. At least you eventually were able to get him to leave. PLEASE do not let it color your view on all men. Although with some of the rubbish that's been levelled here I'd not be surprised if the very thought of them leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Just know that there are good people out there, men and women and this guy wasn't one of them. Do not allow him to let his bad behaviour change who you are or how you go into the world. Because then he's won. And he doesn't sound like much of a winner to me.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
No one said that, stop being dramatic.
Well earlier someone pointed out that she made a thread about wanting to have sex with another guy and how ironic that is now because of this guy?? It seems like they are implying that she somehow deserved this, I wasn't attempting to be dramatic. I did say that I thought the thread title was mis leading and assuming this situ is the same as being raped is insulting to rape victims. This event was SO far from it. It makes us SO much harder for women that actually are raped. I am just really tired of all the misogyny that exists.
Please don't quote me out of context.
"You DO know I have the AIDS in my cooter, right?"
.....and a bolt of lightning knocks down your front door as he runs home never to jerk off again.
Why would you start was has no end?
cooter??....;)
I felt that "pussy" didn't work in that context.
Anyway, that's we we call in down here in these parts.
Dude, have you got a picture for every fucking thing?;)
Why would you start was has no end?
i'm a guy
why can't a guy who has been rejected go with it? if he has a brain he'll make up a story to tell his mates?
I also on the other hand don't kiss and tell....
yes
True. I wasn't aware he was a Dukes of Hazard fan. .04% of the Pit population are familiar with that show.
Woooooooo doggie...okay, I'm a redneck.
Why would you start was has no end?
It's just interesting that some of the people who were telling her to 'go for it' and to 'bang the neighbor' in that thread are now saying in this thread that the guy is a pig, and he should have never expected anything more than an innocent night of watching movies. Who knows, maybe the neighbor is a PJ fan and read her posts?
Point is, there are severe inconsistencies with her story and we haven't even heard his side of it. Women can't be so quick to throw the rape word around. Someone earlier in this thread suggested that she press charges against the guy for sexual assault. I'm sorry, nothing bothers me more than a guy who can't take no for an answer. BUT, how can you make a thread a week ago saying you're dating a guy but you REGRET not banging your neighbor, then you come here and throw the rape word around when the supposed neighbor made an advance on you?
and whats the difference between being raped by an aquaintance, a complete stranger, or even ones spouse ?
WOW, what we have here is...........!!
I'm not saying a word..heheheh
"What a stupid lamb."
"What a sick, masochistic lion."
Oh, how I loved Everclear back in the day!!!!!
"What a stupid lamb."
"What a sick, masochistic lion."
no, it makes her evasiveness here rather suspicious. i never said she deserved anything. i just suspect what happened is she invited this neighbor she's got the hots for over planning on some hooking up, or at least considering it. she made sure she looked good, she flirted. then when he started to kiss her, she chickened out and asked him to stop. he, confused, attempted to convince her to go through with it, she wouldn't budge, and eventually he left. and now she feels guilty as hell for almost cheating on her nice guy bf and tries to pass that guilt off on blaming this guy, who never did anything and by her own admission respected her 'no.' i've seen it before.
That is what some of us are saying....Crying rape when CLEARLY there is no rape!!
"What a stupid lamb."
"What a sick, masochistic lion."
I don't think we are being told the whole story either but people were jumping all over her and mocking her here. Maybe it was intense and she felt threatened, maybe she changed her mind I don't know. Crying rape when you haven't been is despicable. It was even all you or maybe not you at all I am not sure but you certainly weren't the one ready to burn her at the stake. I didn't say YOU said she deserved anything. Just seems like people were trying to call her down because of a previous thread. Women have to be more careful, sad but true and sometimes we learn lessons the hard way :(
:rolleyes: