I am still having a hell of a time. Been almost 10 months now and havent even started the proces of filing the papers. I have been putting it off until she finds a job so she can have benefits and take care of herself. Cant let her go without. Couldnt stand it if she needed medical care and couldnt get it. That said, I kind of expected it to be a little easier by now. I am stuck living in the basement of my brother-n-laws house with the clothes on my back. I have found that I dont miss my things like I thought I would, but the loneliness is killing me. I have no friends to speak of, and I find myself being alone alot and it is hard to deal with. I have no one to talk to really. 16 years is so hard to let go. I am pretty sure she has moved on. Maybe not dating, but has succumb to that fact it is what is. She has done a great job and I am happy for her. I am just struggling a bit. Could I have done things better? Differently? Should I have tried harder even though I KNOW I did for many years?? Where did we go wrong. I miss her...I dont miss the way we were, but I miss her. I miss us, I miss my life. But alas...Tomorrow is another new day I guess, and we move forward!
My friend was going to see Eddie last night. Since he was in Vegas, I gave him 5 Grand to gamble with. I told him I wanted it all to go on Black. Bastard! PhillyCrownOfThorns-11-2-12
I am still having a hell of a time. Been almost 10 months now and havent even started the proces of filing the papers. I have been putting it off until she finds a job so she can have benefits and take care of herself. Cant let her go without. Couldnt stand it if she needed medical care and couldnt get it. That said, I kind of expected it to be a little easier by now. I am stuck living in the basement of my brother-n-laws house with the clothes on my back. I have found that I dont miss my things like I thought I would, but the loneliness is killing me. I have no friends to speak of, and I find myself being alone alot and it is hard to deal with. I have no one to talk to really. 16 years is so hard to let go. I am pretty sure she has moved on. Maybe not dating, but has succumb to that fact it is what is. She has done a great job and I am happy for her. I am just struggling a bit. Could I have done things better? Differently? Should I have tried harder even though I KNOW I did for many years?? Where did we go wrong. I miss her...I dont miss the way we were, but I miss her. I miss us, I miss my life. But alas...Tomorrow is another new day I guess, and we move forward!
Your post had me in tears ... I am so sad for your situation ... the loneliness is a killer ... I am finding it the worst ... we fill our heads with questions about all the things we could/should have done ... I truly hope your days get better.
He still wants us to be "great friends" and hopes I will return to Canada to visit him in the future! I had to ask him to stop telling me stuff like that.It is destroying me even more,the only purpose it serves is for me to allow myself to believe it can't really be over as he still wants me in his life and to visit him.
Tomorrow is another new day and no matter what we encounter by the very fact it is a new day means we are moving on ... take care of you x
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
I am still having a hell of a time. Been almost 10 months now and havent even started the proces of filing the papers. I have been putting it off until she finds a job so she can have benefits and take care of herself. Cant let her go without. Couldnt stand it if she needed medical care and couldnt get it. That said, I kind of expected it to be a little easier by now. I am stuck living in the basement of my brother-n-laws house with the clothes on my back. I have found that I dont miss my things like I thought I would, but the loneliness is killing me. I have no friends to speak of, and I find myself being alone alot and it is hard to deal with. I have no one to talk to really. 16 years is so hard to let go. I am pretty sure she has moved on. Maybe not dating, but has succumb to that fact it is what is. She has done a great job and I am happy for her. I am just struggling a bit. Could I have done things better? Differently? Should I have tried harder even though I KNOW I did for many years?? Where did we go wrong. I miss her...I dont miss the way we were, but I miss her. I miss us, I miss my life. But alas...Tomorrow is another new day I guess, and we move forward!
Your post had me in tears ... I am so sad for your situation ... the loneliness is a killer ... I am finding it the worst ... we fill our heads with questions about all the things we could/should have done ... I truly hope your days get better.
He still wants us to be "great friends" and hopes I will return to Canada to visit him in the future! I had to ask him to stop telling me stuff like that.It is destroying me even more,the only purpose it serves is for me to allow myself to believe it can't really be over as he still wants me in his life and to visit him.
Tomorrow is another new day and no matter what we encounter by the very fact it is a new day means we are moving on ... take care of you x
...
Im sorry...Wasnt looking to upset anyone. Was just venting a bit. Had a looong weekend and thought if I did that I would feel a bit better. You know, if it werent for my job, I think I would just pack up, move away and start new. But that is not an option. Its just hard as I am sure you know. Thanks for the kind words, and if you ever wish to vent, just drop me a pm. be sound...:-)
My friend was going to see Eddie last night. Since he was in Vegas, I gave him 5 Grand to gamble with. I told him I wanted it all to go on Black. Bastard! PhillyCrownOfThorns-11-2-12
My ex told me on Tuesday that his Grandma died, which of course was upsetting, as I knew her well...what was odd was that his DAD called me too...I hadn't heard a word from anyone in his family in well over a year!!
His Dad says "we all wanted to call and talk to you, but we never knew what to say. we love you and miss you and are glad you're happy and well. I'm sorry I didn't call you sooner." then, last night, his brother calls and basically says the same thing!
it had always bothered me that they just shut me out, even though we got along well and there were no hard feelings. no one reached out to me at all...so I just assumed that because they were HIS family, they chose to only talk to him...better late than never, I suppose, but it was definitely weird!
me and my gf of a year just broke up... nothing compared to some of you that are going through divorce and more major shit, but it was the longest relationship i've ever been in... thought she might be "the one"... dunno why i feel the need to share here... except that i'm beginning to understand some of the pain this love shit can cause... i feel for all of you that were with your partner for a long time
it really is like a drug! i have to fight myself not to pick up the phone every hour to mention something that we would've both laughed about just weeks ago...
just working on not becoming completely calloused now... seems like it'd be easy to stop trying for awhile... not in any hurry to feel this bad again
me and my gf of a year just broke up... nothing compared to some of you that are going through divorce and more major shit, but it was the longest relationship i've ever been in... thought she might be "the one"... dunno why i feel the need to share here... except that i'm beginning to understand some of the pain this love shit can cause... i feel for all of you that were with your partner for a long time
it really is like a drug! i have to fight myself not to pick up the phone every hour to mention something that we would've both laughed about just weeks ago...
just working on not becoming completely calloused now... seems like it'd be easy to stop trying for awhile... not in any hurry to feel this bad again
good luck single folk!
I feel for you in your situation.I absolutely understand what you are experiencing just now ... I was here a few weeks ago.I'd like to reassure you that hard as the days are just now they will get better.Loads of people told me this and in my despair I was thinking "you are all wrong ... I will never get over these feelings of sadness,loss and pain" ... but a few weeks down the road,yes there are still days that what I have been through floors me but those days are becoming further apart ... trust you are going to be ok ... because you are ...
Look after you and breathe ... pearlgirl2010 gave me some great advice that I'd like to pass on to you in relation to the urge to call/email/text ... let friends know how you are feeling and ask them,if when the urge to call/text/email gets real bad,can you call/text/email them instead ... I did this and my friends have been more than happy to oblige even late at night they have been there for me ... I am sure you will find the same support.
Be sound ... your going to be ok ... because you are
xxooxx
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
thanks stargirl! i'm sure it'll get better... just have to bury my head in work for awhile and get back in the dating game when i'm ready
as cliche as it is, "one day at a time" is all you can do...don't overthink it, just take each day as one day closer to being strong and feeling ready to jump back in the dating game. it'll happen only when you're ready :-)
thanks stargirl! i'm sure it'll get better... just have to bury my head in work for awhile and get back in the dating game when i'm ready
as cliche as it is, "one day at a time" is all you can do...don't overthink it, just take each day as one day closer to being strong and feeling ready to jump back in the dating game. it'll happen only when you're ready :-)
Your are right pearlgirl ... I have moved on well with the support,p.m's and advice you gave me.Kilgore_Trout will too ... relating to your most recent post regarding contact from your ex inlaws .. I had a strange experience too .... It was my birthday last week ... I hadn't heard from anyone in Canada since the relationship ended 7 weeks ago but I received presents and cards from my ex,his dad and his sister ... I thought they had maybe been posted before we split but I checked the postal date and they had been posted a month after we split ... I was left not really knowing what to think :? ... I sent brief emails of thanks and have heard nothing more :roll:
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
That was nice of them to think of you...and I think your responses were appropriate. It probably would have been worse for you if they did nothing. For me, it just felt like a slap in the face to be completely ignored after having been part of the family for 10 years.
well, after reaching out due to some laptop issues(was the ex's to begin with) She has offered to see what if anything she can do to help.
We're meeting for the first time in a while and had a very very pleasant convo last week. I'm hopeful that we can resume or friendship and grow from here.
She is happily married and as bittersweet as that is for me , I'm happy for her. To be able to hear joy in her voice despite some personal things she has going on means alot.
Man I love this woman. I am comforted to know she can and is willing to be a part of each others lives , although the nature of the relationship has changed. That was one of the tougher things for me to deal with , her not being there in some capacity.
Some may think me crazy or stupid for doing this , but I intend to honor what I said on our wedding day.
My hope is that I can now begin to move from the false hope I had for us , and find or be found by love once again.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
well, after reaching out due to some laptop issues(was the ex's to begin with) She has offered to see what if anything she can do to help.
We're meeting for the first time in a while and had a very very pleasant convo last week. I'm hopeful that we can resume or friendship and grow from here.
She is happily married and as bittersweet as that is for me , I'm happy for her. To be able to hear joy in her voice despite some personal things she has going on means alot.
Man I love this woman. I am comforted to know she can and is willing to be a part of each others lives , although the nature of the relationship has changed. That was one of the tougher things for me to deal with , her not being there in some capacity.
Some may think me crazy or stupid for doing this , but I intend to honor what I said on our wedding day.
My hope is that I can now begin to move from the false hope I had for us , and find or be found by love once again.
What a ride the last year has been !!!!!
Good luck, man. You really seem like a guy who deserves someone great in his life. Don't get used to this kind of talk from eyed though. :twisted:
Idaho's Premier Outdoor Writer
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well, after reaching out due to some laptop issues(was the ex's to begin with) She has offered to see what if anything she can do to help.
We're meeting for the first time in a while and had a very very pleasant convo last week. I'm hopeful that we can resume or friendship and grow from here.
She is happily married and as bittersweet as that is for me , I'm happy for her. To be able to hear joy in her voice despite some personal things she has going on means alot.
Man I love this woman. I am comforted to know she can and is willing to be a part of each others lives , although the nature of the relationship has changed. That was one of the tougher things for me to deal with , her not being there in some capacity.
Some may think me crazy or stupid for doing this , but I intend to honor what I said on our wedding day.
My hope is that I can now begin to move from the false hope I had for us , and find or be found by love once again.
What a ride the last year has been !!!!!
Good luck, man. You really seem like a guy who deserves someone great in his life. Don't get used to this kind of talk from eyed though. :twisted:
you must be stoned.
know it will be hard on the emotional front , but this seems right to me. Don't great things come from difficulty?
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
well, after reaching out due to some laptop issues(was the ex's to begin with) She has offered to see what if anything she can do to help.
We're meeting for the first time in a while and had a very very pleasant convo last week. I'm hopeful that we can resume or friendship and grow from here.
She is happily married and as bittersweet as that is for me , I'm happy for her. To be able to hear joy in her voice despite some personal things she has going on means alot.
Man I love this woman. I am comforted to know she can and is willing to be a part of each others lives , although the nature of the relationship has changed. That was one of the tougher things for me to deal with , her not being there in some capacity.
Some may think me crazy or stupid for doing this , but I intend to honor what I said on our wedding day.
My hope is that I can now begin to move from the false hope I had for us , and find or be found by love once again.
What a ride the last year has been !!!!!
I guess I should pay more attention sometimes...I had no idea you were going through this as well, but the last year or so for me has been a blur, so anything could have slipped passed me. There are days when things are very friendly between me and my wife, and then there are some days that it hurts so bad I cant breathe. The last few weeks has been that way for me. I m like you, in the end, all I want is for her to be happy. If that is without me, then so beit. I will ALWAYS have a place in my heart for her, and will always make sure that she never has to go without. $$, housing, clothes, whatever. Regardless of our outcome, I always said I would take care of her without fail, and I meant it. Stupid? Prob..Painfull? HELL YES!! But I could not bare the thought of her ever being without, or suffering in any way. Never thought I was like this...Had always been able to walk away without looking back...Then I think that the last time I did that was when I was 23...I am 40 now..A different man..Things no longer matter to me..Stuff is just stuff, and happiness seems to have taken a backseat no matter how hard I try these days. The next year is going to be even tougher me thinks. Not looking forward to it, but I am growing use to being alone in every way possible...Never thought I could...Now it seems all I want is to be left alone...god damn things are blurry these days! Good Luck to you Mickey!! You are a good guy!!
My friend was going to see Eddie last night. Since he was in Vegas, I gave him 5 Grand to gamble with. I told him I wanted it all to go on Black. Bastard! PhillyCrownOfThorns-11-2-12
well, after reaching out due to some laptop issues(was the ex's to begin with) She has offered to see what if anything she can do to help.
We're meeting for the first time in a while and had a very very pleasant convo last week. I'm hopeful that we can resume or friendship and grow from here.
She is happily married and as bittersweet as that is for me , I'm happy for her. To be able to hear joy in her voice despite some personal things she has going on means alot.
Man I love this woman. I am comforted to know she can and is willing to be a part of each others lives , although the nature of the relationship has changed. That was one of the tougher things for me to deal with , her not being there in some capacity.
Some may think me crazy or stupid for doing this , but I intend to honor what I said on our wedding day.
My hope is that I can now begin to move from the false hope I had for us , and find or be found by love once again.
What a ride the last year has been !!!!!
I guess I should pay more attention sometimes...I had no idea you were going through this as well, but the last year or so for me has been a blur, so anything could have slipped passed me. There are days when things are very friendly between me and my wife, and then there are some days that it hurts so bad I cant breathe. The last few weeks has been that way for me. I m like you, in the end, all I want is for her to be happy. If that is without me, then so beit. I will ALWAYS have a place in my heart for her, and will always make sure that she never has to go without. $$, housing, clothes, whatever. Regardless of our outcome, I always said I would take care of her without fail, and I meant it. Stupid? Prob..Painfull? HELL YES!! But I could not bare the thought of her ever being without, or suffering in any way. Never thought I was like this...Had always been able to walk away without looking back...Then I think that the last time I did that was when I was 23...I am 40 now..A different man..Things no longer matter to me..Stuff is just stuff, and happiness seems to have taken a backseat no matter how hard I try these days. The next year is going to be even tougher me thinks. Not looking forward to it, but I am growing use to being alone in every way possible...Never thought I could...Now it seems all I want is to be left alone...god damn things are blurry these days! Good Luck to you Mickey!! You are a good guy!!
Thanks and good luck to you too. One thing that really helped me was having the support here and the folks in my AA meetings and seeing counsler. Wasn't so much the places as it was having people in my life willing to listen to me and share from their own experiences.
Todays meeting with her went better than I had hoped from my own emotional standpoint. coming up on 11 months since the divorce and just past 13 months since the split.
As was told to me "time takes time" and its time that allows us to live more comfortably with whats happened. Doubt I'll ever be completely over the loss , but such is life and we're not alone , as evidenced by this thread. Need to talk hit me up here or at that gaming site known as facebook!!!
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I guess I should pay more attention sometimes...I had no idea you were going through this as well, but the last year or so for me has been a blur, so anything could have slipped passed me. There are days when things are very friendly between me and my wife, and then there are some days that it hurts so bad I cant breathe. The last few weeks has been that way for me. I m like you, in the end, all I want is for her to be happy. If that is without me, then so beit. I will ALWAYS have a place in my heart for her, and will always make sure that she never has to go without. $$, housing, clothes, whatever. Regardless of our outcome, I always said I would take care of her without fail, and I meant it. Stupid? Prob..Painfull? HELL YES!! But I could not bare the thought of her ever being without, or suffering in any way. Never thought I was like this...Had always been able to walk away without looking back...Then I think that the last time I did that was when I was 23...I am 40 now..A different man..Things no longer matter to me..Stuff is just stuff, and happiness seems to have taken a backseat no matter how hard I try these days. The next year is going to be even tougher me thinks. Not looking forward to it, but I am growing use to being alone in every way possible...Never thought I could...Now it seems all I want is to be left alone...god damn things are blurry these days! Good Luck to you Mickey!! You are a good guy!! [/quote]
well said, my friend...I think you touched on a LOT of good points in here and said some things that not a lot of people would admit to and I admire that.
With me and my exhusband, we knew we wanted each other to be happy and realized that it wasn't going to be with each other...as soon as we figured that out and were OK with it, it felt like a huge weight was lifted off our shoulders.
Today would have been our 10 year anniversary...I am all knotted up and have tons of anxiety today. A year ago, I wouldnt have imagined this is where I would be. I feel like I am on a boat in the middle of no where with no direction. I am lonely today....I didnt realize that this would hurt so much. I didnt realize how much of an emotional wreck I would be and have become the last year. I am usually a very strong person in all aspects of my life, and that has not been the case the last year... When does it get better?(rhetorical, I know!) just saying
My friend was going to see Eddie last night. Since he was in Vegas, I gave him 5 Grand to gamble with. I told him I wanted it all to go on Black. Bastard! PhillyCrownOfThorns-11-2-12
well, after reaching out due to some laptop issues(was the ex's to begin with) She has offered to see what if anything she can do to help.
We're meeting for the first time in a while and had a very very pleasant convo last week. I'm hopeful that we can resume or friendship and grow from here.
She is happily married and as bittersweet as that is for me , I'm happy for her. To be able to hear joy in her voice despite some personal things she has going on means alot.
Man I love this woman. I am comforted to know she can and is willing to be a part of each others lives , although the nature of the relationship has changed. That was one of the tougher things for me to deal with , her not being there in some capacity.
Some may think me crazy or stupid for doing this , but I intend to honor what I said on our wedding day.
My hope is that I can now begin to move from the false hope I had for us , and find or be found by love once again.
What a ride the last year has been !!!!!
i disrespected you earlier in this thread mickey... something like me questioning why should you care if shes happy or not.
anyways i just want you to know i was wrong and i respect your strength.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Today would have been our 10 year anniversary...I am all knotted up and have tons of anxiety today. A year ago, I wouldnt have imagined this is where I would be. I feel like I am on a boat in the middle of no where with no direction. I am lonely today....I didnt realize that this would hurt so much. I didnt realize how much of an emotional wreck I would be and have become the last year. I am usually a very strong person in all aspects of my life, and that has not been the case the last year... When does it get better?(rhetorical, I know!) just saying
Sorry ................. ((((hugs)))).
hope you feel just a little better each day.
So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
Today would have been our 10 year anniversary...I am all knotted up and have tons of anxiety today. A year ago, I wouldnt have imagined this is where I would be. I feel like I am on a boat in the middle of no where with no direction. I am lonely today....I didnt realize that this would hurt so much. I didnt realize how much of an emotional wreck I would be and have become the last year. I am usually a very strong person in all aspects of my life, and that has not been the case the last year... When does it get better?(rhetorical, I know!) just saying
I'm sorry....no matter how strong you are, there are some things that will just hit you....see if there's a friend around tonight or find something to keep you occupied. OR, just take tonight as a time to allow yourself to be sad about it--that's OK too :?
Today would have been our 10 year anniversary...I am all knotted up and have tons of anxiety today. A year ago, I wouldnt have imagined this is where I would be. I feel like I am on a boat in the middle of no where with no direction. I am lonely today....I didnt realize that this would hurt so much. I didnt realize how much of an emotional wreck I would be and have become the last year. I am usually a very strong person in all aspects of my life, and that has not been the case the last year... When does it get better?(rhetorical, I know!) just saying
I'm sorry....no matter how strong you are, there are some things that will just hit you....see if there's a friend around tonight or find something to keep you occupied. OR, just take tonight as a time to allow yourself to be sad about it--that's OK too :?
Yes, and it will pass the saddness.
when does it get better, you ask? hahaha. laughing with you my man. I dont know, it just does when it does.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
well, after reaching out due to some laptop issues(was the ex's to begin with) She has offered to see what if anything she can do to help.
We're meeting for the first time in a while and had a very very pleasant convo last week. I'm hopeful that we can resume or friendship and grow from here.
She is happily married and as bittersweet as that is for me , I'm happy for her. To be able to hear joy in her voice despite some personal things she has going on means alot.
Man I love this woman. I am comforted to know she can and is willing to be a part of each others lives , although the nature of the relationship has changed. That was one of the tougher things for me to deal with , her not being there in some capacity.
Some may think me crazy or stupid for doing this , but I intend to honor what I said on our wedding day.
My hope is that I can now begin to move from the false hope I had for us , and find or be found by love once again.
What a ride the last year has been !!!!!
i disrespected you earlier in this thread mickey... something like me questioning why should you care if shes happy or not.
anyways i just want you to know i was wrong and i respect your strength.
and you edited before I saw it. thanks for the PM then , this now.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
It has been 8 weeks since we split up ... tried to be "friends",his suggestion,never mine,that was harder than saying thanks,goodbye,good luck,wish you a good life ... Last Friday I had to,for my emotional health and well being,say goodbye for good ... resulting in a sense of relief and the first full week I haven't cried since it happened.
I went to a friends barbecue last weekend.Spent some time chatting to a guy I hadn't met before.Last night my friend called me to say that the guy has been asking about me and would like to meet again.
It has freaked me out a bit ... he only wants to go for dinner or a film ... but how soon is too soon?
... I still think of him every day,my heart still loves him deeply but I now know that it is over I need to move on but I feel this may be a little too soon ... I think I am still wearing my "poor me" cloak and don't know if I will be able to go on a date so soon without slipping into telling the story of what I have been through ... I can think it's just dinner or a film but so many other thoughts come into my mind ... strange thoughts of betrayal,intimacy with someone else feels impossible,I never imagined someone else would show interest so soon ... I was single for years before I met my ex
Anyone experience of what time scale felt comfortable to date again? Don't want a transitional/rebound situation on my hands
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
It has been 8 weeks since we split up ... tried to be "friends",his suggestion,never mine,that was harder than saying thanks,goodbye,good luck,wish you a good life ... Last Friday I had to,for my emotional health and well being,say goodbye for good ... resulting in a sense of relief and the first full week I haven't cried since it happened.
I went to a friends barbecue last weekend.Spent some time chatting to a guy I hadn't met before.Last night my friend called me to say that the guy has been asking about me and would like to meet again.
It has freaked me out a bit ... he only wants to go for dinner or a film ... but how soon is too soon?
... I still think of him every day,my heart still loves him deeply but I now know that it is over I need to move on but I feel this may be a little too soon ... I think I am still wearing my "poor me" cloak and don't know if I will be able to go on a date so soon without slipping into telling the story of what I have been through ... I can think it's just dinner or a film but so many other thoughts come into my mind ... strange thoughts of betrayal,intimacy with someone else feels impossible,I never imagined someone else would show interest so soon ... I was single for years before I met my ex
Anyone experience of what time scale felt comfortable to date again? Don't want a transitional/rebound situation on my hands
I had a rebound thing that didn't work out, of course. was way too soon. As for when , I think you'll just know. For me , at just about a year since the seperation , I felt ready to try. Put myself out there a little to no avail, but it felt good to try. I would expect it would be different for everyone, so as I said , O think you'll just know when it's time.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
He never wanted to marry or have kids although he sent me mixed signals but in the end I wasted 12 years of my life and I don't have a clue why I stayed.
It's a bit late to market myself as a baby maker, so much for the big family I always wanted.
It's kinda screwed up because I'm on disability and I'm still living in our home as I can't find a place of my own due to medical debt and a bad credit report which will fuck you forever, big brother has given you a number and that's your burden to bare.
I feel like I'm in a small boat without paddles, getting ready to strike the rocky shore. :?
He never wanted to marry or have kids although he sent me mixed signals but in the end I wasted 12 years of my life and I don't have a clue why I stayed.
It's a bit late to market myself as a baby maker, so much for the big family I always wanted.
It's kinda screwed up because I'm on disability and I'm still living in our home as I can't find a place of my own due to medical debt and a bad credit report which will fuck you forever, big brother has given you a number and that's your burden to bare.
I feel like I'm in a small boat without paddles, getting ready to strike the rocky shore. :?
I'm so sorry to read this....I hope things start to look up for you very soon. Stay strong!
I think part of the problem is hanging on for too long before a seperation. Allow me to explain.
My wife and I separated in March of last year. I had become addicted to perscription meds. They were initially prescribed with good intentions, but I became completely consumed with them. I lost a few jobs and was a downright miserable person to her and all those around me. She stuck with me for almost three years through the addiction, the lies, etc. But, one day I relapsed and she kicked me out. I lived with my parents for a few weeks, then came back to where we live, rented a room in a house in the town we live in, got clean (just over 9 months now), got a job, and began working to rebuild the person I was before all this happened - the person she fell in love with and agreed to marry.
I moved back in in July of last year. I consider her actions to be the best thing that ever happened to me. She saved our relationship and my life. I think that people can be so scared with the prospect of separation that it is delayed and delayed until eventually its not just that you don't get along anymore, it's that you completely loathe your spouse. And at that point, there is essentially no hope for reconciliation. A better option (at least with our situation, where substance abuse was a major factor) is to address the issue head on and as early as possible, before you lose all feeling for your spouse. Today, I can say that I think my wife waited too long to do what she did - I should have had my butt tossed out the door a few years earlier. I wasn't a good person, I wasn't fulfilling my half of the deal, and I deserved everything I got. Some people need a major wakeup call before they can see how serious things are - I know I was one of those people anyway. So, yeah, those are my two cents...
Comments
"Free Shipping" SPEEDY MCCREADY
My friend was going to see Eddie last night. Since he was in Vegas, I gave him 5 Grand to gamble with. I told him I wanted it all to go on Black. Bastard! PhillyCrownOfThorns-11-2-12
"Forgive every being,
the bad feelings
it's just me"
Your post had me in tears ... I am so sad for your situation ... the loneliness is a killer ... I am finding it the worst ... we fill our heads with questions about all the things we could/should have done ... I truly hope your days get better.
He still wants us to be "great friends" and hopes I will return to Canada to visit him in the future! I had to ask him to stop telling me stuff like that.It is destroying me even more,the only purpose it serves is for me to allow myself to believe it can't really be over as he still wants me in his life and to visit him.
Tomorrow is another new day and no matter what we encounter by the very fact it is a new day means we are moving on ... take care of you x
Im sorry...Wasnt looking to upset anyone. Was just venting a bit. Had a looong weekend and thought if I did that I would feel a bit better. You know, if it werent for my job, I think I would just pack up, move away and start new. But that is not an option. Its just hard as I am sure you know. Thanks for the kind words, and if you ever wish to vent, just drop me a pm. be sound...:-)
"Free Shipping" SPEEDY MCCREADY
My friend was going to see Eddie last night. Since he was in Vegas, I gave him 5 Grand to gamble with. I told him I wanted it all to go on Black. Bastard! PhillyCrownOfThorns-11-2-12
His Dad says "we all wanted to call and talk to you, but we never knew what to say. we love you and miss you and are glad you're happy and well. I'm sorry I didn't call you sooner." then, last night, his brother calls and basically says the same thing!
it had always bothered me that they just shut me out, even though we got along well and there were no hard feelings. no one reached out to me at all...so I just assumed that because they were HIS family, they chose to only talk to him...better late than never, I suppose, but it was definitely weird!
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
it really is like a drug! i have to fight myself not to pick up the phone every hour to mention something that we would've both laughed about just weeks ago...
just working on not becoming completely calloused now... seems like it'd be easy to stop trying for awhile... not in any hurry to feel this bad again
good luck single folk!
http://seanbriceart.com/
I feel for you in your situation.I absolutely understand what you are experiencing just now ... I was here a few weeks ago.I'd like to reassure you that hard as the days are just now they will get better.Loads of people told me this and in my despair I was thinking "you are all wrong ... I will never get over these feelings of sadness,loss and pain" ... but a few weeks down the road,yes there are still days that what I have been through floors me but those days are becoming further apart ... trust you are going to be ok ... because you are ...
Look after you and breathe ... pearlgirl2010 gave me some great advice that I'd like to pass on to you in relation to the urge to call/email/text ... let friends know how you are feeling and ask them,if when the urge to call/text/email gets real bad,can you call/text/email them instead ... I did this and my friends have been more than happy to oblige even late at night they have been there for me ... I am sure you will find the same support.
Be sound ... your going to be ok ... because you are
xxooxx
http://seanbriceart.com/
as cliche as it is, "one day at a time" is all you can do...don't overthink it, just take each day as one day closer to being strong and feeling ready to jump back in the dating game. it'll happen only when you're ready :-)
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
Your are right pearlgirl ... I have moved on well with the support,p.m's and advice you gave me.Kilgore_Trout will too ... relating to your most recent post regarding contact from your ex inlaws .. I had a strange experience too .... It was my birthday last week ... I hadn't heard from anyone in Canada since the relationship ended 7 weeks ago but I received presents and cards from my ex,his dad and his sister ... I thought they had maybe been posted before we split but I checked the postal date and they had been posted a month after we split ... I was left not really knowing what to think :? ... I sent brief emails of thanks and have heard nothing more :roll:
Happy belated birthday, by the way :-)
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
We're meeting for the first time in a while and had a very very pleasant convo last week. I'm hopeful that we can resume or friendship and grow from here.
She is happily married and as bittersweet as that is for me , I'm happy for her. To be able to hear joy in her voice despite some personal things she has going on means alot.
Man I love this woman. I am comforted to know she can and is willing to be a part of each others lives , although the nature of the relationship has changed. That was one of the tougher things for me to deal with , her not being there in some capacity.
Some may think me crazy or stupid for doing this , but I intend to honor what I said on our wedding day.
My hope is that I can now begin to move from the false hope I had for us , and find or be found by love once again.
What a ride the last year has been !!!!!
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Good luck, man. You really seem like a guy who deserves someone great in his life. Don't get used to this kind of talk from eyed though. :twisted:
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know it will be hard on the emotional front , but this seems right to me. Don't great things come from difficulty?
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I guess I should pay more attention sometimes...I had no idea you were going through this as well, but the last year or so for me has been a blur, so anything could have slipped passed me. There are days when things are very friendly between me and my wife, and then there are some days that it hurts so bad I cant breathe. The last few weeks has been that way for me. I m like you, in the end, all I want is for her to be happy. If that is without me, then so beit. I will ALWAYS have a place in my heart for her, and will always make sure that she never has to go without. $$, housing, clothes, whatever. Regardless of our outcome, I always said I would take care of her without fail, and I meant it. Stupid? Prob..Painfull? HELL YES!! But I could not bare the thought of her ever being without, or suffering in any way. Never thought I was like this...Had always been able to walk away without looking back...Then I think that the last time I did that was when I was 23...I am 40 now..A different man..Things no longer matter to me..Stuff is just stuff, and happiness seems to have taken a backseat no matter how hard I try these days. The next year is going to be even tougher me thinks. Not looking forward to it, but I am growing use to being alone in every way possible...Never thought I could...Now it seems all I want is to be left alone...god damn things are blurry these days! Good Luck to you Mickey!! You are a good guy!!
"Free Shipping" SPEEDY MCCREADY
My friend was going to see Eddie last night. Since he was in Vegas, I gave him 5 Grand to gamble with. I told him I wanted it all to go on Black. Bastard! PhillyCrownOfThorns-11-2-12
Take good care of yourselves.
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
Todays meeting with her went better than I had hoped from my own emotional standpoint. coming up on 11 months since the divorce and just past 13 months since the split.
As was told to me "time takes time" and its time that allows us to live more comfortably with whats happened. Doubt I'll ever be completely over the loss , but such is life and we're not alone , as evidenced by this thread. Need to talk hit me up here or at that gaming site known as facebook!!!
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I guess I should pay more attention sometimes...I had no idea you were going through this as well, but the last year or so for me has been a blur, so anything could have slipped passed me. There are days when things are very friendly between me and my wife, and then there are some days that it hurts so bad I cant breathe. The last few weeks has been that way for me. I m like you, in the end, all I want is for her to be happy. If that is without me, then so beit. I will ALWAYS have a place in my heart for her, and will always make sure that she never has to go without. $$, housing, clothes, whatever. Regardless of our outcome, I always said I would take care of her without fail, and I meant it. Stupid? Prob..Painfull? HELL YES!! But I could not bare the thought of her ever being without, or suffering in any way. Never thought I was like this...Had always been able to walk away without looking back...Then I think that the last time I did that was when I was 23...I am 40 now..A different man..Things no longer matter to me..Stuff is just stuff, and happiness seems to have taken a backseat no matter how hard I try these days. The next year is going to be even tougher me thinks. Not looking forward to it, but I am growing use to being alone in every way possible...Never thought I could...Now it seems all I want is to be left alone...god damn things are blurry these days! Good Luck to you Mickey!! You are a good guy!!
well said, my friend...I think you touched on a LOT of good points in here and said some things that not a lot of people would admit to and I admire that.
With me and my exhusband, we knew we wanted each other to be happy and realized that it wasn't going to be with each other...as soon as we figured that out and were OK with it, it felt like a huge weight was lifted off our shoulders.
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
"Free Shipping" SPEEDY MCCREADY
My friend was going to see Eddie last night. Since he was in Vegas, I gave him 5 Grand to gamble with. I told him I wanted it all to go on Black. Bastard! PhillyCrownOfThorns-11-2-12
i disrespected you earlier in this thread mickey... something like me questioning why should you care if shes happy or not.
anyways i just want you to know i was wrong and i respect your strength.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Sorry ................. ((((hugs)))).
hope you feel just a little better each day.
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
I'm sorry....no matter how strong you are, there are some things that will just hit you....see if there's a friend around tonight or find something to keep you occupied. OR, just take tonight as a time to allow yourself to be sad about it--that's OK too :?
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
when does it get better, you ask? hahaha. laughing with you my man. I dont know, it just does when it does.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I went to a friends barbecue last weekend.Spent some time chatting to a guy I hadn't met before.Last night my friend called me to say that the guy has been asking about me and would like to meet again.
It has freaked me out a bit ... he only wants to go for dinner or a film ... but how soon is too soon?
... I still think of him every day,my heart still loves him deeply but I now know that it is over I need to move on but I feel this may be a little too soon ... I think I am still wearing my "poor me" cloak and don't know if I will be able to go on a date so soon without slipping into telling the story of what I have been through ... I can think it's just dinner or a film but so many other thoughts come into my mind ... strange thoughts of betrayal,intimacy with someone else feels impossible,I never imagined someone else would show interest so soon ... I was single for years before I met my ex
Anyone experience of what time scale felt comfortable to date again? Don't want a transitional/rebound situation on my hands
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
hope you guys are all doing well :-)
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
He never wanted to marry or have kids although he sent me mixed signals but in the end I wasted 12 years of my life and I don't have a clue why I stayed.
It's a bit late to market myself as a baby maker, so much for the big family I always wanted.
It's kinda screwed up because I'm on disability and I'm still living in our home as I can't find a place of my own due to medical debt and a bad credit report which will fuck you forever, big brother has given you a number and that's your burden to bare.
I feel like I'm in a small boat without paddles, getting ready to strike the rocky shore. :?
I'm so sorry to read this....I hope things start to look up for you very soon. Stay strong!
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
My wife and I separated in March of last year. I had become addicted to perscription meds. They were initially prescribed with good intentions, but I became completely consumed with them. I lost a few jobs and was a downright miserable person to her and all those around me. She stuck with me for almost three years through the addiction, the lies, etc. But, one day I relapsed and she kicked me out. I lived with my parents for a few weeks, then came back to where we live, rented a room in a house in the town we live in, got clean (just over 9 months now), got a job, and began working to rebuild the person I was before all this happened - the person she fell in love with and agreed to marry.
I moved back in in July of last year. I consider her actions to be the best thing that ever happened to me. She saved our relationship and my life. I think that people can be so scared with the prospect of separation that it is delayed and delayed until eventually its not just that you don't get along anymore, it's that you completely loathe your spouse. And at that point, there is essentially no hope for reconciliation. A better option (at least with our situation, where substance abuse was a major factor) is to address the issue head on and as early as possible, before you lose all feeling for your spouse. Today, I can say that I think my wife waited too long to do what she did - I should have had my butt tossed out the door a few years earlier. I wasn't a good person, I wasn't fulfilling my half of the deal, and I deserved everything I got. Some people need a major wakeup call before they can see how serious things are - I know I was one of those people anyway. So, yeah, those are my two cents...