'I'm Seeing Someone'

soulsinging

SoapMakesUTaller wrote:

I'll move on now. I'll get over it. It happens in life, but the truth is, I just wanted her to be the one who meant the laughs, cries, and quiet moments with me. Too bad. That's life folks.



ps. WOW. Typing all that felt GREAT! I must thank Eddie Vedder and 'Untitled' for letting me hit absolute rock bottom before I worked my way back up to Corduroy. Thanks for listening everyone. We can all this one a night. Thanks Soulsinging!

don't thank me man, there's nothing original or especially insightful in what i say. just hard expercience paid for fearly. and it's always easier to see from the outside than in. i'm betting you're not through the woods yet. though i hope im wrong. it usually goes about every other day. one day you think you're cool and over it and then the next you'll feel worse than ever when some random thought pops into your head.

SoapMakesUTaller wrote:

I know that may not mean much, I know there's still another guy, I know she probably won't remember this in a year.....but I know I'm a great guy, and she's going to be the one crying herself to sleep in 2 years when she can't find the 'right guy'. That doesn't make me happy, as I care about her deeply, but it's the way of the universe. Balance will always come to find itself.

i don't believe this, but if it makes you feel better...

GreenTeaDisease

SoapMakesUTaller wrote:

Why do people who you've been going out with for a month or two suddenly pull this on you? Isn't it a very inconsiderate thing to do after they dangle you along for that 1-2 months?

Happened to me today and crushed me. She couldn't even do it in person, had to be in text format.

My fault in a way, broke my own rules a) Went out with someone I work with.....don't shit where you eat right?

That bad thing is that this came out of nowhere, everything is going great....then, no return calls, no return texts, avoiding me at work. The well suddenly just dried up. I guess she'll learn her lesson in time. The bad thing is that we work together, and will run into each other. The thing that might be even worse, is that I'm pretty sure the guy she's seeing now also works with us...And here I thought I had someone I could care for, for the first time in a long time. :(

yeah that happened to me once. it really sucks. the guy I was dating was dating *2* other girls while he was dating me (and then married one a year later). I mean it was only like 2 months and we hadn't established anything serious, but still, it is very weird to learn that the person you're seeing is also seeing 2 other girls. actually, even though he was seeing 3 girls, he was actively looking for more on match.com!

soulsinging

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

yeah that happened to me once. it really sucks. the guy I was dating was dating *2* other girls while he was dating me (and then married one a year later). I mean it was only like 2 months and we hadn't established anything serious, but still, it is very weird to learn that the person you're seeing is also seeing 2 other girls. actually, even though he was seeing 3 girls, he was actively looking for more on match.com!

damn! this dude's my hero.

GreenTeaDisease

soulsinging wrote:

damn! this dude's my hero.

actually, after he told me he was seeing these other girls, I wanted to get back at him, so I posted on every dating site I could find. I actually posted on craigslist, which I wouldn't normally do. Anyway, I didn't have a photo on craigslist. And he responded to me, not knowing it was me! I was like dude, it's me!!! you're already dating me!!! at that point I had had enough...

soulsinging

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

actually, after he told me he was seeing these other girls, I wanted to get back at him, so I posted on every dating site I could find. I actually posted on craigslist, which I wouldn't normally do. Anyway, I didn't have a photo on craigslist. And he responded to me, not knowing it was me! I was like dude, it's me!!! you're already dating me!!! at that point I had had enough...

how does that get back at him?

GreenTeaDisease

soulsinging wrote:

how does that get back at him?

well not the posting, but the dating of other people. I guess "get back at him" is the wrong phrase, I meant more like "even the playing field."

soulsinging

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

well not the posting, but the dating of other people. I guess "get back at him" is the wrong phrase, I meant more like "even the playing field."

gotcha. i tried that with my ex. i found out she didnt give a fuck and i ended up stuck dating a girl i didnt want to be with

GreenTeaDisease

soulsinging wrote:

gotcha. i tried that with my ex. i found out she didnt give a fuck and i ended up stuck dating a girl i didnt want to be with

yeah I don't think I actually ended up dating anyone from that. I just didn't like the thought of me being home studying while he was out having sex with someone else.

SoapMakesUTaller

soulsinging wrote:

don't thank me man, there's nothing original or especially insightful in what i say. just hard expercience paid for fearly. and it's always easier to see from the outside than in. i'm betting you're not through the woods yet. though i hope im wrong. it usually goes about every other day. one day you think you're cool and over it and then the next you'll feel worse than ever when some random thought pops into your head.

I know this is going to happen. I know. Just gonna try and quell the fire any way I can....I'm gonna be especially saddened to not be able to squeeze that double-c rack of hers. The truth is soulsinging, you and I both know that deep down I want her to be there with me, even this second. But that thought needs to dissipate from my head, or it'll eat me up.

i don't believe this, but if it makes you feel better...

hehe. I have to believe it...you probably never read this, but this is the reason I choose to keep my optimism, and why I probably took something that I thought was pure, our feelings for each other, horribly when she dropped me. I took it hard for a reason, not because I'm a pussy.

It's a read about what happened to me last X-mas eve. And the reason why I am the way I am now. Not a walkover, but I understand the important things in life beyond getting laid. Be warned, this story sucks.

http://theskyiscrape.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=57136

SoapMakesUTaller

Psychological profiles welcome after that read and the reason I reacted this way to this new girl! hehe. I know that's what will happen anyway. Shit, they could start a class studying me in pscyh 101 in some J.C.

genie

lksammkt wrote:

Oh I hear you...It would of been alot easier if I had transitioned into another relationship - but no I am still not ready. But I am going to take the advice from here and not try so hard to ignore him (cause everyone will know). This guy is still immature and will probably get scared if I made any attempt to say hello. I really don't plan on to take another guy out the door with me - just not my style.

nope, you are wise for saying you are not ready yet, jumping straight into another relationship when not ready will only mess you up even more in the end. anyway you're going to there to have fun with you friends, and that's all that should matter And to prove him wrong you don't even have to have another guy by your side, cause having another guy doesn't prove anything, your own happiness within yourself will show everyone and him subconsiously that you're not bothered by it.

whatever happy moments you and your ex had they're all in the past, even if someday you might wish to get back together things will never be the same as they were before.....

Focus on having fun, your family and friends. Also before you think of anyone else, you should always come first, think what's good for you and what you really deserve. My suggestion is not to think about it at all, just go with the flow.

And above all dance, drink to excess ( but sensibly ) and have a laugh!!! I hope you enjoy your party!!

lksammkt

genie wrote:

nope, you are wise for saying you are not ready yet, jumping straight into another relationship when not ready will only mess you up even more in the end. anyway you're going to there to have fun with you friends, and that's all that should matter And to prove him wrong you don't even have to have another guy by your side, cause having another guy doesn't prove anything, your own happiness within yourself will show everyone and him subconsiously that you're not bothered by it.

whatever happy moments you and your ex had they're all in the past, even if someday you might wish to get back together things will never be the same as they were before.....

Focus on having fun, your family and friends. Also before you think of anyone else, you should always come first, think what's good for you and what you really deserve. My suggestion is not to think about it at all, just go with the flow.

And above all dance, drink to excess ( but sensibly ) and have a laugh!!! I hope you enjoy your party!!

Whoa that is a pretty awesome comment! This will be probably the 2nd time we have seen each other before the messy ending to the saga. How am I preparing for tomorrow? Going out on a date tonight with a better looking guy than my ex. Genie! - you are right - even if we were cool with each other - that friendship and memories are pretty much gone.

Hower just reading this post - and especially learning more about Soap Makes U Taller, honestly everyone has their own shit they have gone through. Some peoples road is a little more rough than others. Like EV said, I'll ride the wave wherever it takes me."

soulsinging

SoapMakesUTaller wrote:

I know this is going to happen. I know. Just gonna try and quell the fire any way I can....I'm gonna be especially saddened to not be able to squeeze that double-c rack of hers. The truth is soulsinging, you and I both know that deep down I want her to be there with me, even this second. But that thought needs to dissipate from my head, or it'll eat me up.

hehe. I have to believe it...you probably never read this, but this is the reason I choose to keep my optimism, and why I probably took something that I thought was pure, our feelings for each other, horribly when she dropped me. I took it hard for a reason, not because I'm a pussy.

It's a read about what happened to me last X-mas eve. And the reason why I am the way I am now. Not a walkover, but I understand the important things in life beyond getting laid. Be warned, this story sucks.

http://theskyiscrape.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=57136

that makes sense. she's doing to you (sort of) what your dad did. that would suck. i never said you were a pussy. shit, i'm still pining for a girl that dumped me a year and a half ago. i still think about her and miss her almost daily. people around here will testify to how fucked up it's made me best of luck clinging to optimism. it could be worse... she could have told you she was pregnant with someone else's kid after you married her, right? don't let this make you as twisted and cynical as me. you've had some hard knocks, but at least you've seen the worst of human behavior in relationships, so you've got nowhere to go but up. you already seem further along than i was at your point.

nothingman44

SoapMakesUTaller wrote:

I know this is going to happen. I know. Just gonna try and quell the fire any way I can....I'm gonna be especially saddened to not be able to squeeze that double-c rack of hers. The truth is soulsinging, you and I both know that deep down I want her to be there with me, even this second. But that thought needs to dissipate from my head, or it'll eat me up.







hehe. I have to believe it...you probably never read this, but this is the reason I choose to keep my optimism, and why I probably took something that I thought was pure, our feelings for each other, horribly when she dropped me. I took it hard for a reason, not because I'm a pussy.

It's a read about what happened to me last X-mas eve. And the reason why I am the way I am now. Not a walkover, but I understand the important things in life beyond getting laid. Be warned, this story sucks.

http://theskyiscrape.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=57136

that is a f'd up story. i'm sorry you had to go through with something like that, but the honesty must have been such a relief. i am sure something like that is extremely tough but at least it gives you some answers instead of being lead on.

its like that in any relationship. i would rather hear the truth, than be lead on to believe something that has no truth or merit to it.

SoapMakesUTaller

Thanks you guys.

Today I even brought it out of me to joke with her for a second......and it didn't bother me one bit that her new guy was there. Like you guys have said, there's no where to go but up. And even though there's always going to be split seconds when I look at her in that 'you betrayed my trust' kind of way, at least it didn't have to be dragged out. Disappointments I'm used to, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have stood a chance anyway with me, she was the first real new relationship I've had since what happened last X-mas, and I held her up to a standard she would have never lived up to. I guess that's just what happens when shit is the norm in your life. You try to be extra careful, or extra loving to something else in return. You just gotta hope that person doesn't question it, and simply gives it back to you.

That story from last year is the reason I understood so much about the guy's longing from Into The Wild. It's like a chapter in my own life. He took it to an extreme, but I can understand his reasoning for wanting to look for that something else that won't cause betrayal. Something absolutely pure. His vision of that was nature's conditions. I guess my own way of going about it is to be a kind to people/strangers in life as I can. I never want anyone to go through what I went through....And sometimes, I'm a casualty of my own rules. At least I know I'm fighting the good fight.

genie

lksammkt wrote:

Like EV said, I'll ride the wave wherever it takes me."

and that's one of the reasons why i love Eddie Vedder.....


how can any guy come even close to him

South of Seattle

genie wrote:

and that's one of the reasons why i love Eddie Vedder.....


how can any guy come even close to him

I come pretty close, but I don't like to toot my own horn

genie

soulsinging wrote:

people around here will testify to how fucked up it's made me

I will testify!!

genie

South of Seattle wrote:

I come pretty close, but I don't like to toot my own horn

now, you got me all intrigued so please toot your horn as loud as you can

and, i have to ask you this......."so....erm do you come here often?" lol and "i think i've seen you somewhere before"

Heineken Helen

SoapMakesUTaller wrote:

That story from last year is the reason I understood so much about the guy's longing from Into The Wild. It's like a chapter in my own life. He took it to an extreme, but I can understand his reasoning for wanting to look for that something else that won't cause betrayal. Something absolutely pure. His vision of that was nature's conditions. I guess my own way of going about it is to be a kind to people/strangers in life as I can. I never want anyone to go through what I went through....And sometimes, I'm a casualty of my own rules. At least I know I'm fighting the good fight.

I have to say I absolutely LOVE your attitude. I really hope these aren't just words on a computer screen and that you really really try to have the attitude you speak of. It's the right one and it's the one we should all have... and you're pretty inspirational .