'I'm Seeing Someone'

nothingman44

soulsinging wrote:

this is what we call a desperate delusion. she doesnt respond becos she doesnt care. and there's no need for you to act civil. she is never going to talk to you again. not becos she cant (she can, women can make the switch to friend very easily) but becos she simply doesnt want to and there's no reason for her to bother when she knows why you're doing it.

my ex finally just cut me off. blocked me on aim and facebook, deleted any webpage she knew i could access, etc etc. you ought to quit now before you get to that point. you shouldnt be worried about keeping the door opened in case she wants to talk. she will if she wants to even if you havent spoken to her in years. anyone remember the thread from the poor dude on here whose wife left him for an ex from hs she found on myspace? you should be more worried about pissing her off and annoying her so much that she will never be willing to speak to you again.

you're right...but i guess i am still in that "what happened" stage and trying to figure out what her whole thought process is.

i'm trying to get things back in order by taking on a new job in another state, but the feeling of having a "chip" on my shoulder is never going to go away. she took my feelings and heart and played with them like they were a toy and i really shouldnt act civil towards her.

soulsinging

nothingman44 wrote:

you're right...but i guess i am still in that "what happened" stage and trying to figure out what her whole thought process is.

i'm trying to get things back in order by taking on a new job in another state, but the feeling of having a "chip" on my shoulder is never going to go away. she took my feelings and heart and played with them like they were a toy and i really shouldnt act civil towards her.

you just shouldnt talk to her. for your sake.

but i feel ya. the chip never left my shoulder.

SoapMakesUTaller

I just want to reiterate something I said....I KNOW she's the one who was shitty, I KNOW I didn't do anything wrong, I KNOW that there's no reason for me to ask myself how she feels, when she obviously didn't ask herself that about me when she decided to act on impulse and date the 'Betterman'.

I did and said things for this girl that I would have never for another girl because she allowed me to open up, and she opened up to me. But now I know that everything I did...no matter how genuine, or from the heart they were were never going to be what she wanted. I can see at this moment that when I'd hold her in my arms and she'd fall asleep, that's all I was.....the guy who held her while she found the real guy she was looking for. And that's what makes me pissed.

It's funny, I'm all good right now outside of work....with my buddies, gonna go to a party tonight. But I know that once I see her, again, all bets are off. And knowing that I was just a crutch for this girl, is a real bitch. I got fucked over good. soulsinging is right, work is going to be difficult for me. But, I guess you reap what you sow huh?

SoapMakesUTaller

ps I just wiped all pics of her I had on my phone......no need to mope here any longer. I think it's time for some guitar, before hitting the party tonight.

next step.....do I erase her phone number? I think that's the answer!

brain of c

she set your goldfish free
and now she's sighing
blew out your piolet light
and made a wish........

nothingman44

SoapMakesUTaller wrote:

ps I just wiped all pics of her I had on my phone......no need to mope here any longer. I think it's time for some guitar, before hitting the party tonight.

next step.....do I erase her phone number? I think that's the answer!

yeah i tried that.

it wasnt as successful as i thought it would be.

soulsinging

SoapMakesUTaller wrote:

ps I just wiped all pics of her I had on my phone......no need to mope here any longer. I think it's time for some guitar, before hitting the party tonight.

next step.....do I erase her phone number? I think that's the answer!

probably wise. though i still know my ex's phone number (to be fair, the first 6 digits are the same as mine)... i dont know my current gf's number though. still, you dont want to call her tonight when you're wasted. unless you're fucking another girl and your knee accidentally hits send and you hang up real quick.

genie

LikeAnOcean wrote:

Sorry about that. I dumped her yesterday, so you can have her back. She was a lousy lay anyways.

haha, good post!!

SoapMakesUTaller

Soulsinging.....you're right.

Tonight, she didn't know I was around the corner and I walked right up to her and said hello very politely...and asked her where she wanted me to help place something. Caught her off guard.....and she had a tough time looking me in the face as she was answering.

Later, she walked past me..I didn't see her as she had already passed, but I kinda kept looking as she got further down.........she turned her head around to give me one last glance before she left the building.

And just like that, any uneasiness has gone away. I think she's afraid to speak to me. She KNOWS she was the ass here.....and that's all I need. I think any of that tension has washed away from my side.

That, and, the 'other' guy was already gone. Lord only knows what she was thinking. I'm pretty sure I could fuck with her head if I wanted to. But, I'll be the sweetheart I am, and just talk to her like nothing happened. I was channeling my inner Dwight Schrute.

Heineken Helen

SoapMakesUTaller wrote:

Soulsinging.....you're right.

Tonight, she didn't know I was around the corner and I walked right up to her and said hello very politely...and asked her where she wanted me to help place something. Caught her off guard.....and she had a tough time looking me in the face as she was answering.

Later, she walked past me..I didn't see her as she had already passed, but I kinda kept looking as she got further down.........she turned her head around to give me one last glance before she left the building.

And just like that, any uneasiness has gone away. I think she's afraid to speak to me. She KNOWS she was the ass here.....and that's all I need. I think any of that tension has washed away from my side.

That, and, the 'other' guy was already gone. Lord only knows what she was thinking. I'm pretty sure I could fuck with her head if I wanted to. But, I'll be the sweetheart I am, and just talk to her like nothing happened. I was channeling my inner Dwight Schrute.

excellent... she knows she was a bitch alright!

And I was just talking to a girl at work yesterday who'd been in an abusive marriage but then divorced and never quite got over him. She had her first date on Saturday night and she's over the moon about it. I was trying to pep her up and telling her just to enjoy it and blah blah blah... and I said that the good ones are worth going through the shit ones for... and it's true, they are.

lksammkt

SoapMakesUTaller wrote:

Soulsinging.....you're right.

Tonight, she didn't know I was around the corner and I walked right up to her and said hello very politely...and asked her where she wanted me to help place something. Caught her off guard.....and she had a tough time looking me in the face as she was answering.

Later, she walked past me..I didn't see her as she had already passed, but I kinda kept looking as she got further down.........she turned her head around to give me one last glance before she left the building.

And just like that, any uneasiness has gone away. I think she's afraid to speak to me. She KNOWS she was the ass here.....and that's all I need. I think any of that tension has washed away from my side.

That, and, the 'other' guy was already gone. Lord only knows what she was thinking. I'm pretty sure I could fuck with her head if I wanted to. But, I'll be the sweetheart I am, and just talk to her like nothing happened. I was channeling my inner Dwight Schrute.

So I am about to see my ex in 2 days - he pretty much punched me in the gut with our break up. He is now with his 'old' girlfriend. I really don't plan on trying to talk to him....what happened happened we have both moved on. But just sitting here thinking about seeing him puts all these emotions back in my head. I will though be looking really good and hanging around alot of friends. So really my plans are really only to look hot and ignore him. BTW his favorite band is Kid Rock (I know...I know) Cheers!

soulsinging

lksammkt wrote:

So I am about to see my ex in 2 days - he pretty much punched me in the gut with our break up. He is now with his 'old' girlfriend. I really don't plan on trying to talk to him....what happened happened we have both moved on. But just sitting here thinking about seeing him puts all these emotions back in my head. I will though be looking really good and hanging around alot of friends. So really my plans are really only to look hot and ignore him. BTW his favorite band is Kid Rock (I know...I know) Cheers!

you plan on seeing him but not talking to him? mutual friends having a party? look hot, but be careful on ignoring. if you are trying to make a show of how much you're ignoring, everyone will see through it. if you see him and he catches your eye, smile, wave, and turn away. it will be better than a cold shoulder. the cold shoulder will let him know you're still hurt and confused over him and gives him the hand. you want him to be like the pathetic friend you humor but would rather not spend time with. you'll b nice and pleasant but try to stay away from them.

and if you can go home with a guy in his sight, that's always a plus.

genie

soulsinging wrote:

you plan on seeing him but not talking to him? mutual friends having a party? look hot, but be careful on ignoring. if you are trying to make a show of how much you're ignoring, everyone will see through it. if you see him and he catches your eye, smile, wave, and turn away. it will be better than a cold shoulder. the cold shoulder will let him know you're still hurt and confused over him and gives him the hand. you want him to be like the pathetic friend you humor but would rather not spend time with. you'll b nice and pleasant but try to stay away from them.

and if you can go home with a guy in his sight, that's always a plus.

oh how i fucking wish i done the same thing last year in November :( :mad:

genie

lksammkt wrote:

But just sitting here thinking about seeing him puts all these emotions back in my head.

SS is right. also try not to ponder about the past too much it'll only bring you down. everytime you get some sort of emotion, go and slap yourself

SoapMakesUTaller

So, I know life is too short to hate people...and in this case, people you WORK with or have to see. It just eats you up inside, like it has the last week for me, and the truth is you have no choice sometimes! I saw her again last night....kinda in a corner. And I HAD once again to speak to her...have no choice, that's the place I work in. Things have to pass certain people. And even though there's literally a dozen people within 40 ft....That 'what the hell is he thinking when he looks at me' look came onto her face again and there's no one else within site.... She once again tried her best to avoid eye contact as she spoke, but, I waited...made sure she looked me dead in the eyes, and I said a simple 'Thank You' after she did her thing. Then........I gave her an 'it's okay' smile.

I know that may not mean much, I know there's still another guy, I know she probably won't remember this in a year.....but I know I'm a great guy, and she's going to be the one crying herself to sleep in 2 years when she can't find the 'right guy'. That doesn't make me happy, as I care about her deeply, but it's the way of the universe. Balance will always come to find itself.

I'll move on now. I'll get over it. It happens in life, but the truth is, I just wanted her to be the one who meant the laughs, cries, and quiet moments with me. Too bad. That's life folks.



ps. WOW. Typing all that felt GREAT! I must thank Eddie Vedder and 'Untitled' for letting me hit absolute rock bottom before I worked my way back up to Corduroy. Thanks for listening everyone. We can all this one a night. Thanks Soulsinging!

SoapMakesUTaller

ps. Now i know. I re-read this thread.....Genie, Heini, SS......I see exactly where you are coming from. All a little jaded, but it's part of protecting yourself. No one else will if you don't....I can see that a little better tonight because of all you.

Heineken Helen

SoapMakesUTaller wrote:

ps. Now i know. I re-read this thread.....Genie, Heini, SS......I see exactly where you are coming from. All a little jaded, but it's part of protecting yourself. No one else will if you don't....I can see that a little better tonight because of all you.

glad to hear that you're finding it easier to deal with

you'll be alright

genie

SoapMakesUTaller wrote:

ps. Now i know. I re-read this thread.....Genie, Heini, SS......I see exactly where you are coming from. All a little jaded, but it's part of protecting yourself. No one else will if you don't....I can see that a little better tonight because of all you.

lksammkt

genie wrote:

SS is right. also try not to ponder about the past too much it'll only bring you down. everytime you get some sort of emotion, go and slap yourself

Oh I hear you...It would of been alot easier if I had transitioned into another relationship - but no I am still not ready. But I am going to take the advice from here and not try so hard to ignore him (cause everyone will know). This guy is still immature and will probably get scared if I made any attempt to say hello. I really don't plan on to take another guy out the door with me - just not my style.

fanch75

bostonlou wrote:

like snoop says

bitches ain't shit but ho's and tricks

I like your style, playa.