Men! Think back, and answer me this little question -

inmyrvm

amen soulsinging! you are hitting this right on the head (i am not being sarcastic either). any compliment to a guy is good, just don't go overboard with the terminology used. as for the phone calls, i couldn't agree anymore. i didn't call someone for TWO FUCKING DAYS and i guess that was enough for her to completely ignore me, even after we had a date set up. and when they try to soften the blow, that makes it even worse. it's like a kick to the nuts.

markymark550

To answer the original question...

The best compliment my wife has ever given me is that she feels safe and secure when I hold her in my arms. She has told me that has two meanings. The first is obvious with being physically safe. The second is more emotional as in that if she's having a bad day or things are too hectic, a good hug or embrace helps calm her down and helps to make things better. I guess it goes back to some intrinsic male characteristic, but I like being the 'protector' and taking care of my wife. Plus, it's always nice to have a quick way of calming her when somethings the matter.

That's not to say that she doesn't compliment me about my looks, personality, etc...I just think that one is the best.

inmyrvm

markymark550 wrote:

To answer the original question...

The best compliment my wife has ever given me is that she feels safe and secure when I hold her in my arms. She has told me that has two meanings. The first is obvious with being physically safe. The second is more emotional as in that if she's having a bad day or things are too hectic, a good hug or embrace helps calm her down and helps to make things better. I guess it goes back to some intrinsic male characteristic, but I like being the 'protector' and taking care of my wife. Plus, it's always nice to have a quick way of calming her when somethings the matter.

That's not to say that she doesn't compliment me about my looks, personality, etc...I just think that one is the best.

that's ok, that's probably the best kind of compliment for a guy. when someone says something like they were talking about before though it's a straight shot to the jimmy.

einatshaul

Drowned Out wrote:

sorry....I'd feel too much like I was tootin my own horn to say. She covered pretty much everything that mattered tho. It's all f'd up tho...she just broke up with her bf...pretty sure I moved into friend territory quite a while back...and she's way younger than me...so I don't know if they were pity compliments, keep stringing him along compliments, or I wanna jump your bones compliments. Like I said...don't care cause it felt great -I ate 'em up

O.k., so here's hoping for you it is the latter...

Any way, yeah, it just occurred to me yesterday this would be an interesting subject, and all your varied comments and emotional reaction proves it!

GreenTeaDisease

soulsinging wrote:

but few things are more bothersome than a compliment from a platonic friend.

if getting compliments from your friends is bothersome...you have MAJOR issues.

GreenTeaDisease

inmyrvm wrote:

i didn't call someone for TWO FUCKING DAYS and i guess that was enough for her to completely ignore me, even after we had a date set up. and when they try to soften the blow, that makes it even worse. it's like a kick to the nuts.

this type of thing is all based on the maturity level of the parties involved.

einatshaul

Hinny wrote:

in the midst of all PJ madness, to let you know I love you and you coming over soon is top of the list for me!!

Ohhh, shucks Hinny!

I can give you better compliments than that, just get here already!

Great information, you menches, keep it coming!

GreenTeaDisease

soulsinging wrote:

2. he is your BOYFRIEND. if you said that to a platonic friend you know is interested in you, it's a huge "fuck you" to them, becos you're basically telling them they are ok as a friend, but he's not attractive enough for you to actually date.
.

you assuming here that the male friend in the situation has romantic feelings for the female friend. first of all, why would assume that? if they're friends, it's probably because I don't know, they LIKE being friends???

and if your assumption turns out to be correct, and the male friend has feelings for the female friend and the female friend does not reciprocate, it's not the COMPLIMENT that is the problem, it is the overall rejection. The COMPLIMENT itself is not mean, it is not a "huge fuck you." If I am friends with a guy, and I like his new hair cut, and I say, "nice haircut, you look good," it doesn't mean "nice hair cut, you look good, but I'm lying and you really repulse me and I hate you." I mean, I am having a hard time explaining this to you because you see this is how we humans function in society with our friends and loved ones, and it doesn't really apply to you.

soulsinging

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

if getting compliments from your friends is bothersome...you have MAJOR issues.

cool. we can go to therapy together when you finally crack and realize your weight obsession is SERIOUSLY fucked up.

yes, i was assuming there were romantic feelings involved. i find it difficult to believe the OP just wanted to know how to make her purely platonic friend feel better. it sounded like she was trying to figure out how to make a particularly appealing specimen feel special. and i stand by my suggestions. you say his shoes are cute, he's not going to give a fuck. you say he's nice, he'll think "uh oh." you say he's a god with the biggest dick she's seen since that king kong dong she ordered a few years back, and he's going to feel like a fucking rock star.

josevolution

recently a woman here at work said to me after i asked "how are you doing her response " a lot better now that your here " ....it made me feel great

the wolf

very easy for me, a few weeks back i was going (still am in a way ) a very self loathing time. out of a job, my gf rocks! i said something to the effect that she would be better off with someone else who can do things for her, and has a good job and future blah blah blah.

she just said in a very sweet voice that melts my heart " but i dont want anybody else baby".

made me feel good.

GreenTeaDisease

soulsinging wrote:

you say he's nice, he'll think "uh oh."

there's no reason to think that.

soulsinging

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

there's no reason to think that.

there is to a lot of guys who have heard it as the prelude to bad news. i find it odd that a good number of the guys who've been burned agree with me on this, but the women refuse to believe it has any merit. guilty conscience perhaps?

GreenTeaDisease

soulsinging wrote:

there is to a lot of guys who have heard it as the prelude to bad news. i find it odd that a good number of the guys who've been burned agree with me on this, but the women refuse to believe it has any merit. guilty conscience perhaps?

I'm sure it's a prelude to bad news a lot, but it's not always. And even if bad news is following, it's still a positive statement. A lot of people would try to say something positive in a bad situation, men and women. Saying someone is nice is good, not bad. period. If you take that as bad you have a really, really, really HUGE self esteem and paranoia problem, because that's not normal.

soulsinging

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I'm sure it's a prelude to bad news a lot, but it's not always. And even if bad news is following, it's still a positive statement. A lot of people would try to say something positive in a bad situation, men and women. Saying someone is nice is good, not bad. period. If you take that as bad you have a really, really, really HUGE self esteem and paranoia problem, because that's not normal.

saying someone is nice is the most half-hearted, generic compliment out there. it always rings false, even if its true. you know you're killing the person inside, quit trying to sugarcoat it. if you truly cared about them, you'd own it, break it to them like tearing off a bandaid, and then just let them hate you, rather than trying to somehow come out of tearing someone apart like a good guy. it's not truly an effort to make them feel better, it's about making yourself feel better and assauging your guilt over breaking their heart. i know becos ive had it done to me and ive done it to other people. if it's a prelude to bad news, dont fucking say it. just drop the bad news and walk away and accept the fact that they will hate you until they get over it. otherwise you end up with really fucked up and confused people like me and some of my ex-gf's... people who keep asking themselves "if they thought i was so fucking fantastic, why'd they go? they must have been full of shit." quite simple really, and utterly reasonable.

it's got nothing to do with self esteem. im fucked up, sure. im a drug addict. but it's mainly that i can hold onto and nurse a grudge or a resentment for a VERY long time. but im not that abnormal. ask my ex's how they feel about me and what i did to them. all im doing these days is walking a mile (or a few years) in their shoes. it's karma, man.

but we are way off topic. my advice to the OP is still that if she wants to get this guy's attention and drop a compliment that will make him warm to her is to make it something that makes him feel like a stud, not something that makes him feel like her lapdog coworker.

MattCameronKicksButt

soulsinging wrote:

id consider you naive for you to contend that a girl who replies to a guy who has poured his heart out to her with "you're a wonderful guy and you'll make some other girl a wonderful husband one day" is "just a compliment." it's a staggering rejection with a weak attempt to soften the blow.

as to the second part, yes i am bitter and cynical. i dont think this comes as news to anyone.

If you really want to read that much into it, you could say she may be jealous and doesn't feel she has a chance with him. :eek:



I think you're great soulsinging. You make me think... usually about trivial things but make me think nonetheless. (That wan't an insult...



















or a compliment! I'M SO CONFUSED)!

soulsinging

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

I think you're great soulsinging. You make me think... usually about trivial things but make me think nonetheless. (That wan't an insult...

or a compliment! I'M SO CONFUSED)!

you're such a mean-spirited bitch, complimenting me without wanting to sleep with me and all!

Proteus

einatshaul wrote:

What was the most flattering thing a woman (any woman) has ever said to you?

"Oh my God it's PERFECT."

FinsburyParkCarrots

einatshaul wrote:

What was the most flattering thing a woman (any woman) has ever said to you?

I'm trying to get an idea of what themes and subject matters stick in a guy's mind after a conversation with a woman... No need to reveal anything too personal, just your honest opinion!

Looking forward to your interesting answers...

Thanks!

I once met a woman who had slept with over 100 men, and she told me I had the biggest balls she had ever seen.

Proteus

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

I once met a woman who had slept with over 100 men, and she told me I had the biggest balls she had ever seen.

Was she an AC/DC fan? Or perhaps more importantly, are you?