A friend told me his wife cried when she found out I'd only be visiting them for a few days.
It didn't make me feel particularly good at the time, but in hindsight... I'm just sooooooo flattered that people could feel that way about me.
awww! thats ace! It's a great feeling when you realise you mean that much to people
Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
Again, I agree with Helen. This is completely untrue. I call and see my ex all the time because we're friends. He has a great life now as do I. We've known each other 8 years and shared everything for 6 of those so why shouldn't we? I for one, can't just switch off like that... life's too short for cheap ego boosts.
agreed, my ex wife and i were together for 12 years, we have only been apart for about 3 ( 2 years and 8 months but who's counting? )
there is noway to turn it off for me. she told me two weeks ago that she is engaged, and i could not be happier for her. i really hope she has found happiness.
and i believe she feels the same for me and my gf.
Peace, Love.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
well, she wasnt in love with me anymore, but thats another thread lol.
tell soulsinging that
sorry to hear though! But yeh, I'm not gonna call someone to make ME feel better... tbh I woulda preferred that he hated me and never wanted to hear from me again, but I think if you're breaking up with somebody (in a non volitile way), you have a responsibility to do it right and help them through it... even if that help is staying away from them.
AND... just to rub it in... this guy really WILL make a great husband and father for somebody else some other time... just not then and just not with me cos I wasn't ready for anything like that at the time. Doesn't make HIM a bad person or a potentially bad husband.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
I do see what you're saying, that feelings should be considered between friends before you pay someone attention, but tell me, you say you're conscious of how your words affect others, so why can't you just discuss the issue? For example, ask questions like: where does it end? should the friendship end? surely you're friends for a reason? is it worth it? etc, etc... I Personally think that it's more to do with the guys way of dealing with rejection or lack thereof, that paying someone a compliment (whatever their mind set towards you) will not necessarily disarrange emotion and that women are not being consciously heartless and throwing in a big "fuck you" (oh, there it is again, literary genius... :rolleyes: ) when they compliment a male friend who may be attracted to them. You see, i'd be more than willing to discuss this with you and possibly even have my mind changed were it not for your abrupt and generalising tone.
I have more of a problem with your approach, soulsinging, as apposed to your point made. Now, grow up a little, realise that talking about women as objects may just offend someone and come back when you'd had an epiphany about speaking on others behalves being rude and conceited.
people have been asking me to change my approach around here for a long time... i dont think you're going to manage it by this post
as to the rest, i've discussed it endlessly around here and my opinions have never been popular. so rather than get into it again, ill let the OP have their thread back and reiterate that if the OP wants to stroke some guy's ego and capture his attention, her best bet is to use a compliment that makes him feel like a rock star, not the guy at work that will run for a cup of coffee any time she asks. which was the original opinion that put the burr up everyone's butt here. heaven forbid somebody say truthfully that guys like to hear women are attracted to them more than they like to hear about how sweet they are.
Awww... it really is a fantastic feeling though to feel so safe in somebodys arms... like the world outside your little bubble doesn't matter and nothing can break it
are you serious? isnt he a total sexist pig for wanting to feel like a woman's protector???
well in fairness, I think I told you your hair looked nice the last time... it probably took me about two days to say it but yeh, I'm definitely gonna have to change this. I'm not the kind who NEEDS compliments cos I know I always look great *laughs hysterically for about ten minutes* but it's always nice to know someone else thinks you look great too.
You did compliment my hair, lots of times...thank you hun, that did bring a smile to my face
I've always thought your accent is really cool. A very calm voice.
Again, I agree with Helen. This is completely untrue. I call and see my ex all the time because we're friends. He has a great life now as do I. We've known each other 8 years and shared everything for 6 of those so why shouldn't we? I for one, can't just switch off like that... life's too short for cheap ego boosts.
did he dump you or you him? how long did it take to return to normalcy?
are you serious? isnt he a total sexist pig for wanting to feel like a woman's protector???
All he's doing is holding me... there's no bigger meaning to it... people love human contact! I'm saying that's just how it feels and you're not talking to GTD or Cate so no, he can hold me like that all he wants
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
i can assure you this much, any compliment you gave him only hurt him more.
I've said I'm not much of a complimenting person... I dind't call him and fill him with shit, I called him to see if he was ok... since it was partly my fault I feel a responsibility to make sure he gets through it ok! He'd talk... I'd listen
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
soulsinging is right on everything here. i don't agree with looking at women as nothing but a sex object (i don't, anyway) but he really is right about everything. i've come to realize this all recently lol. guys really do like to hear women are attracted to them. 99% of the time you want zero contact after breaking up with someone. once in a while, it works out to be ok, but it rarely does. women pretty much know just how much they have us in the palm of their hands and usually take advantage of it.
"Fuck the talkin' let's start rockin" - Eddie Vedder 9-5-00 Pittsburgh
4/26/03 Pittsburgh 5/3/03 State College 7/12/03 Hershey 10/1/04 Reading 9/28/05 Pittsburgh 5/20/06 Cleveland 6/23/06 Pittsburgh 6/22/08 DC
friends don't let friends listen to good charlotte
All he's doing is holding me... there's no bigger meaning to it... people love human contact! I'm saying that's just how it feels and you're not talking to GTD or Cate so no, he can hold me like that all he wants
but he said he likes to feel like the protector. isnt that SOOOO sexist? i mean, he's acting like all women are weak and timid! he can't make generalizations about people like that! it's awful and horrible and disgusting.
I've said I'm not much of a complimenting person... I dind't call him and fill him with shit, I called him to see if he was ok... since it was partly my fault I feel a responsibility to make sure he gets through it ok! He'd talk... I'd listen
and did it work? or did it just make it worse until the point you had to stop talking to him completely?
You did compliment my hair, lots of times...thank you hun, that did bring a smile to my face
I've always thought your accent is really cool. A very calm voice.
thank you... you've lovely teeth and skin too
I really like that tshirt you're wearing in your profile picture!
Enough yet?
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
but he said he likes to feel like the protector. isnt that SOOOO sexist? i mean, he's acting like all women are weak and timid! he can't make generalizations about people like that! it's awful and horrible and disgusting.
You're still trying to wind up the wrong person here. What's WRONG with having someone wanting to protect me? I've said here before that a lot of women mainly want to feel protected and men the same (in a different way). A lot of it is all about supporting eachother. If you find somebody who makes you feel safe (whether it be a man or a woman) it's very very comforting. And I fail to see where he was acting like all women were weak and timid... I thought it was a cute post
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
and did it work? or did it just make it worse until the point you had to stop talking to him completely?
Nope... at least he knew he could still contact me... cos we had built up a good friendship... and we still text eachother every now and then. When you're in a relationship like that, it's hard when someone comes into your life with a bang, becomes a major part of it... and then just leaves. I've gone thruogh that and it makes it harder cos if you want to ask the person maybe about what you did wrong or whatever... you just don't feel like they're there for ya anymore and it's a big gap in your life then.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
You're still trying to wind up the wrong person here. What's WRONG with having someone wanting to protect me? I've said here before that a lot of women mainly want to feel protected and men the same (in a different way). A lot of it is all about supporting eachother. If you find somebody who makes you feel safe (whether it be a man or a woman) it's very very comforting. And I fail to see where he was acting like all women were weak and timid... I thought it was a cute post
i see. so it IS ok to make generalizations about the wants and behaviors of the sexes, but only as long as 1) HH agrees with them and 2) they are polite and complimentary, never critical.
Nope... at least he knew he could still contact me... cos we had built up a good friendship... and we still text eachother every now and then. When you're in a relationship like that, it's hard when someone comes into your life with a bang, becomes a major part of it... and then just leaves. I've gone thruogh that and it makes it harder cos if you want to ask the person maybe about what you did wrong or whatever... you just don't feel like they're there for ya anymore and it's a big gap in your life then.
it does. My college roommate is like this. I had to basically cut off our friendship because of it, because everything positive you said to her she thought you had an alteria motive and freaked out. For one example among many, I once told her that a new pair of jeans she got made her look super thin. She FREAKED OUT and told me that was my way of telling her she was fat! It's the same thing, you think there is a set of compliments a woman can give a man that mean something they don't. It's true the word "nice" has virtually no meaning, but whatever that's not the point. The point is a woman telling a man that he's cute or nice or smart or whatever, does not mean she's telling him he's bad in bed, just like telling someone they look good in a pair of jeans doesn't mean they look bad in everything else. It can only be construed as such by a person with low self esteem.
Again, I agree with Helen. This is completely untrue. I call and see my ex all the time because we're friends. He has a great life now as do I. We've known each other 8 years and shared everything for 6 of those so why shouldn't we? I for one, can't just switch off like that... life's too short for cheap ego boosts.
I talk to my ex everyday! I might go visit him sometime this spring if I can afford the plane fare.
i see. so it IS ok to make generalizations about the wants and behaviors of the sexes, but only as long as 1) HH agrees with them and 2) they are polite and complimentary, never critical.
I said 'A LOT OF WOMEN' rather than your 'women are bitches' :rolleyes: and I AM one... you're not... so I dunno, SOMETHING tells me I might know a LITTLE bit more about what's going on in my head than you do :cool:
As for your next post... 'no' as in it didn't make it worse until the point where we stopped talking completely.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
As for your next post... 'no' as in it didn't make it worse until the point where we stopped talking completely.
Don't anticipate his posts. Where's the fun in that?
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
Don't anticipate his posts. Where's the fun in that?
he'd already posted it... I just couldn't be bothered quoting him twice. But yup, ss is nothing if not predictable
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
he'd already posted it... I just couldn't be bothered quoting him twice. But yup, ss is nothing if not predictable
Oh. my bad I get you. I thought you were responding to him before he could even say anything
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
it does. My college roommate is like this. I had to basically cut off our friendship because of it, because everything positive you said to her she thought you had an alteria motive and freaked out. For one example among many, I once told her that a new pair of jeans she got made her look super thin. She FREAKED OUT and told me that was my way of telling her she was fat! It's the same thing, you think there is a set of compliments a woman can give a man that mean something they don't. It's true the word "nice" has virtually no meaning, but whatever that's not the point. The point is a woman telling a man that he's cute or nice or smart or whatever, does not mean she's telling him he's bad in bed, just like telling someone they look good in a pair of jeans doesn't mean they look bad in everything else. It can only be construed as such by a person with low self esteem.
is that kinda like how you manage to turn 9 outta 10 threads you join into moaning about your weight and how unattractive you feel and how you're terrified to leave your house with your friends?
I said 'A LOT OF WOMEN' rather than your 'women are bitches' :rolleyes: and I AM one... you're not... so I dunno, SOMETHING tells me I might know a LITTLE bit more about what's going on in my head than you do :cool:
As for your next post... 'no' as in it didn't make it worse until the point where we stopped talking completely.
you're talking semantics. i've nevr claimed anything i say applies ironclad to every human being to walk the planet. and considering i am a man and i've tried to date more women than you have, i think i may have a bit more insight into how men perceive female behavior in relationships than you do. i don't give a fuck what your thoughts or intentions are, i am talking about how they come off.
Comments
awww! thats ace! It's a great feeling when you realise you mean that much to people
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
i agree, when my ex wife and i split, we were both genuinely concerned for the other, and would call to really see how each other were doing.
we still loved each other, just were not in love with each other.
well, she wasnt in love with me anymore, but thats another thread lol.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
agreed, my ex wife and i were together for 12 years, we have only been apart for about 3 ( 2 years and 8 months but who's counting? )
there is noway to turn it off for me. she told me two weeks ago that she is engaged, and i could not be happier for her. i really hope she has found happiness.
and i believe she feels the same for me and my gf.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
sorry to hear though! But yeh, I'm not gonna call someone to make ME feel better... tbh I woulda preferred that he hated me and never wanted to hear from me again, but I think if you're breaking up with somebody (in a non volitile way), you have a responsibility to do it right and help them through it... even if that help is staying away from them.
AND... just to rub it in... this guy really WILL make a great husband and father for somebody else some other time... just not then and just not with me cos I wasn't ready for anything like that at the time. Doesn't make HIM a bad person or a potentially bad husband.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
people have been asking me to change my approach around here for a long time... i dont think you're going to manage it by this post
as to the rest, i've discussed it endlessly around here and my opinions have never been popular. so rather than get into it again, ill let the OP have their thread back and reiterate that if the OP wants to stroke some guy's ego and capture his attention, her best bet is to use a compliment that makes him feel like a rock star, not the guy at work that will run for a cup of coffee any time she asks. which was the original opinion that put the burr up everyone's butt here. heaven forbid somebody say truthfully that guys like to hear women are attracted to them more than they like to hear about how sweet they are.
are you serious? isnt he a total sexist pig for wanting to feel like a woman's protector???
i can assure you this much, any compliment you gave him only hurt him more.
You did compliment my hair, lots of times...thank you hun, that did bring a smile to my face
I've always thought your accent is really cool. A very calm voice.
2007 ░▒▓ London, Dusseldorf, Copenhagen, Nijmegen
2009 ░▒▓ Manchester, London
2010 ░▒▓ Hyde Park
*§* Music is all the juice i'll need *§*
did he dump you or you him? how long did it take to return to normalcy?
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
4/26/03 Pittsburgh 5/3/03 State College 7/12/03 Hershey 10/1/04 Reading 9/28/05 Pittsburgh 5/20/06 Cleveland 6/23/06 Pittsburgh 6/22/08 DC
friends don't let friends listen to good charlotte
but he said he likes to feel like the protector. isnt that SOOOO sexist? i mean, he's acting like all women are weak and timid! he can't make generalizations about people like that! it's awful and horrible and disgusting.
and did it work? or did it just make it worse until the point you had to stop talking to him completely?
I really like that tshirt you're wearing in your profile picture!
Enough yet?
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
i see. so it IS ok to make generalizations about the wants and behaviors of the sexes, but only as long as 1) HH agrees with them and 2) they are polite and complimentary, never critical.
no it didnt work?
it does. My college roommate is like this. I had to basically cut off our friendship because of it, because everything positive you said to her she thought you had an alteria motive and freaked out. For one example among many, I once told her that a new pair of jeans she got made her look super thin. She FREAKED OUT and told me that was my way of telling her she was fat! It's the same thing, you think there is a set of compliments a woman can give a man that mean something they don't. It's true the word "nice" has virtually no meaning, but whatever that's not the point. The point is a woman telling a man that he's cute or nice or smart or whatever, does not mean she's telling him he's bad in bed, just like telling someone they look good in a pair of jeans doesn't mean they look bad in everything else. It can only be construed as such by a person with low self esteem.
I talk to my ex everyday! I might go visit him sometime this spring if I can afford the plane fare.
As for your next post... 'no' as in it didn't make it worse until the point where we stopped talking completely.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
"You're like a brother to me"
*shivers*
but it would only make cringe if you had romantic feelings for them right? why would it make you cringe otherwise?
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
is that kinda like how you manage to turn 9 outta 10 threads you join into moaning about your weight and how unattractive you feel and how you're terrified to leave your house with your friends?
you're talking semantics. i've nevr claimed anything i say applies ironclad to every human being to walk the planet. and considering i am a man and i've tried to date more women than you have, i think i may have a bit more insight into how men perceive female behavior in relationships than you do. i don't give a fuck what your thoughts or intentions are, i am talking about how they come off.