Men! Think back, and answer me this little question -

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  • Sian-of-the-dead
    Sian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    audiodave wrote:
    And Sian...how can men and women be just friends, when the man is always just thinking up a plan of how to sleep with the woman?! :confused: Oh wait...that's because he isn't.

    he isn't?! :confused:

    well I'll be damned....

    ;)
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • Sian-of-the-dead
    Sian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    wash_ wrote:
    One compliment I gave was that I thought the guy had wicked taste in music.

    One compliment I gave to a guy was that he's the most beautiful person i've ever met... cuz he is.

    Music and common ground is an added bonus, focusing on only that, not saying you were, is very superficial to me.
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • upina2001
    upina2001 Indiana Posts: 764
    ive had some of my friends wives & girlfriends tell me if it were another time, and day, they wouldnt hesitate.
    Ive also had chicks tell me I am too nice.

    Toledo, Ohio (September 22, 1996), East Troy, Wisconsin (June 26, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 17, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 18, 2000), Cincinnati, Ohio (August 20, 2000), Columbus, Ohio (August 21, 2000), Nashville, Tennessee (April 18, 2003), Champaign, Illinois (April 23, 2003), Noblesville, Indiana (June 22, 2003), Chicago, Illinois (May 16, 2006), Chicago, Illinois (August 05, 2007), West Palm Beach, Florida (June 11, 2008), Tampa, Florida (June 12, 2008), Columbus, OH (May 06, 2010), Noblesville, Indiana (May 07, 2010), Wrigley Field (July 19, 2013), US Bank Arena (October 01, 2014), Lexington (April 26, 2016), Chicago Night 2 (August 20, 2018), Boston Night 1 (September 02, 2018), Nashville (September 16, 2022), St. Louis (September 18, 2022)

  • audiodave
    audiodave Posts: 1,623
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    One compliment I gave to a guy was that he's the most beautiful person i've ever met... cuz he is.
    Strange...someone said that to me not so long ago...

    :confused:
    ~AKA Dave-of-the-dead~

    I don't wanna think, I wanna feel

    Dublin 23/08/06 Lisbon I 04/09/06 Lisbon II 05/09/06 Paris 11/09/06 Verona 16/09/06

    London 18/06/07 Dusseldorf 21/06/07 Copenhagen 26/06/07 Nijmegen 28/06/07
  • Sian-of-the-dead
    Sian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    audiodave wrote:
    Strange...someone said that to me not so long ago...

    :confused:

    :p

    fool ;)
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • Flannel Shirt
    Flannel Shirt Posts: 1,021
    The reason I think some dudes get upset whan a woman friend compliments them is that they cannot control their own emotions BECAUSE they are attracted to the person. if a 90 year old woman who is bald with no teeth says, YOU LOOK HOT, its like...ohhhhhhhh k....thats fucked. now have the hot chick in the office say out of the blue one morning you look handsome today, it messes you up because of the attraction. you are attracted to that person and cannot handle the compliment simply as a compliment.

    and, yes, I have complimented my buddies on looking good. not in the bar, not in the wieght room, but at their weddings and shit I tell them they look handsome. when a dude who normally doesnt dress up at work comes in in a suit, I ask why are they so dapper and where was the job iterview. I am not attracted to them so it doesnt matter and vice versa....like when a gay dude compliments you....you dont get all upset (maybe you do...I dont know).

    does that make sense?

    my wife told me she fell in love with me all over again when she saw our newborn son in my arms one night....hes a year old...I havent forgotten it. i guess thats a bit more than flattering..

    simply telling someone they look handsome is flattering.

    peace.
    All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
  • Sian-of-the-dead
    Sian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    Flannel Shirt wrote:
    my wife told me she fell in love with me all over again when she saw our newborn son in my arms one night....hes a year old...I havent forgotten it.

    peace.

    Thats just simply beautiful :)
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    You boys read way way way too far into these things. Your friend meant you looked nice the other day. She is not trying to seduce you.
    oh. my. god. how did you not get that I was joking when I said that? :D Audiodave and Sian both picked up on it. I actually said in the post, I liked the comment because it WAS just her being nice, there was no hidden agenda. I can't believe you didn't get my soulsinging impersonation :(
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • Flannel Shirt
    Flannel Shirt Posts: 1,021
    Flannel Shirt wrote:

    simply telling someone they look handsome is flattering.
    to all the ladies out there...go ahead and conduct an experiment....tell a coworker he looks handsome today or tomorrow and watch how he reacts....those that take it simply as a compliment will just say thanks and be done with it....they may even joke back that you look good as well today ouf of akwardness......sure they will be flattered....

    those who take it as something more will be in your office/cubicle door throughout the rest of the day today, tomorrow, and next week. they will probably tell all their work friends that you want them....I know these guys...ha ha.
    All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    audiodave wrote:
    I think you read too much into his post. What he said was followed by a ;) indicating to me that he didn't mean that bit.

    By the way, I agree with what you said. She probably just thought he looked nice.
    You are correct on all counts :)

    I am feeling very disillusioned now about the apparent worth of the winking emoticon. I wonder how many other tongue-in-cheek comments have been taken at face value, and subsequently caused people on this board to view me as a bit arrogant and shallow ;)

    ps, I tell my friends they are great all the time. I also take the piss a lot but that's just my nature.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • Motown322
    Motown322 Posts: 465
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    I tell my boyfriend all the time that he's cute and sweet because... urm... HE IS :rolleyes: Amazingly enough, it doesn't make him any less attractive or sexually appealing to me. He's absolutely gorgeous so why shouldn't I tell him so?

    But he's already your boyfriend... I think you might be missing Soulsinging's point. If a girl that I was friends with told me that I'd "make someone a great boyfriend/husband someday" (especially if I was attracted to her), I'd be crushed. Maybe not because I thought I had a chance with her, but because that's the line of all lines.
  • Sian-of-the-dead
    Sian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    ps, I tell my friends they are great all the time. I also take the piss a lot but that's just my nature.

    oh you're like a male version of me! :p
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • wash_
    wash_ Posts: 1,073
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    One compliment I gave to a guy was that he's the most beautiful person i've ever met... cuz he is.

    Music and common ground is an added bonus, focusing on only that, not saying you were, is very superficial to me.

    No, it's not the only I thing I go on!

    I meant that an appreciation for music (key to the soul) is important. If someone doesn't understand the emotional complexities that music affords then I don't know if they would be as understanding/appreciative as someone who is in touch with all that. Having said that there might be others ways that people are in touch with emotions, just for me, its music.

    But, on the whole I find it hard to give compliments...Im going to try and rectify that asap.
    2006 ░▒▓ Astoria, Dublin, Leeds, Reading, Lisbon, Paris, Verona, Athens
    2007 ░▒▓ London, Dusseldorf, Copenhagen, Nijmegen
    2009 ░▒▓ Manchester, London
    2010 ░▒▓ Hyde Park

    *§* Music is all the juice i'll need *§*
  • Flannel Shirt
    Flannel Shirt Posts: 1,021
    Motown322 wrote:
    But he's already your boyfriend... I think you might be missing Soulsinging's point. If a girl that I was friends with told me that I'd "make someone a great boyfriend/husband someday" (especially if I was attracted to her), I'd be crushed. Maybe not because I thought I had a chance with her, but because that's the line of all lines.
    exactly. its not her fault you are crushed. she didnt crush you on purpose. nothing to get angry about. she is complimenting you, and you simply cannot take it as that because you are attracted. when two people are attracted 2 each other, they are not usually friends...too fucked up because one person cannot handle it. everyone can see that one person is more into it than the other by the way. i have seen it with buddies....
    All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
  • Motown322
    Motown322 Posts: 465
    I'd find it very hard to believe that any woman would utter that line to a guy and not be able to comprehend how cliche it is and how it comes off. Now, every girl in this place is probably going to say otherwise :D, but to me it's like a backhanded compliment.

    So ladies, I'll ask you this: If I told one of you that you had a really nice personality, how would you take that? ;)
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    Motown322 wrote:
    But he's already your boyfriend... I think you might be missing Soulsinging's point. If a girl that I was friends with told me that I'd "make someone a great boyfriend/husband someday" (especially if I was attracted to her), I'd be crushed. Maybe not because I thought I had a chance with her, but because that's the line of all lines.

    bingo. my gf can compliment me all she likes and i take it with a smile. but few things are more bothersome than a compliment from a platonic friend. if women can psychoanalyze us for calling them, not calling them, our posture when we speak to them, the number of seconds of eye contact we maintained when we saw them on the street 14 weeks ago... i dont think it's unreasonable for a guy to get a bit of a head fuck when a girl drops a comment like "you look hot today" or "you're a great guy... for some other girl."
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    audiodave wrote:
    I've said it before, and i'll say it again: You do NOT speak for all men. You certainly don't speak for me. Just because all you want from a woman is sex, don't project that onto the rest of the male gender.

    i don't? son of a bitch. i could have sworn i won some election somewhere. and this whole time i thought every word i spoke was gospel! you've just overturned my entire worldview dave!

    :rolleyes:
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    no, it's not like saying that.
    saying something nice about someone is saying something nice about someone. period. there is no underlying hidden meaning, there is no other motive, it's not being mean. come off it.

    you know I find it so hilarious that in the past you've called me "bitter." I cannot possibly imagine a person on this planet who is more bitter than you.

    id consider you naive for you to contend that a girl who replies to a guy who has poured his heart out to her with "you're a wonderful guy and you'll make some other girl a wonderful husband one day" is "just a compliment." it's a staggering rejection with a weak attempt to soften the blow.

    as to the second part, yes i am bitter and cynical. i dont think this comes as news to anyone.
  • lalalalaaaaaaaa
    lalalalaaaaaaaa Posts: 2,445
    Flannel Shirt wrote:
    The reason I think some dudes get upset whan a woman friend compliments them is that they cannot control their own emotions BECAUSE they are attracted to the person.
    Agreed. I love getting compliments from girls, regardless of whether or not I'm attracted to them, or if they're in a relationship with someone else, or whatever.

    I've also noticed that people who can't take compliments, rarely GIVE them either.
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    Can I just say, you certainly do not speak for me, sweetness.

    I tell my boyfriend all the time that he's cute and sweet because... urm... HE IS :rolleyes: Amazingly enough, it doesn't make him any less attractive or sexually appealing to me. He's absolutely gorgeous so why shouldn't I tell him so? I have in the past, dated men like you, and I can tell you now that I've never had so little confidence or felt so uncomfortable expressing my feelings. I wish any woman luck with you. Maybe if you listened to women and didn't treat them like an object every once in a while you might be a bit more positive and less bitter sounding.

    Also, I tell my friends all the time how great they are, male or female. What does it take? A compliment here, a hug there... A few words and the smallest actions can make someone feel appreciated and loved more than anything. I can't help thinking maybe you're socially inept? Maybe you should look into that, could be a problem for the future...

    I for one, am completely comfortable with my emotions and feelings for others, I don't have problem differenciating or expressing them. I don't feel you are and I also feel very sorry for you but ah well... it's your life.... good luck with that.

    did i say i spoke for you? i dont even know what planet you're from.

    1. the OP asked guys what girls have said to them that has been touching or memorable, not how great girls think they are for being so generous with compliments to friends.

    2. he is your BOYFRIEND. if you said that to a platonic friend you know is interested in you, it's a huge "fuck you" to them, becos you're basically telling them they are ok as a friend, but he's not attractive enough for you to actually date.

    3. socially inept? not sure what you mean, but theorize all you like. im doing just fine.

    4. i am perfectly fine with my emotions too, but i am also conscious of how my words affect others. thus, i try not to fuck with girls that are interested in me by misleading them with comments like "damn, you look good" when there is no chance in hell i will ever get with them.

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