And Sian...how can men and women be just friends, when the man is always just thinking up a plan of how to sleep with the woman?! Oh wait...that's because he isn't.
he isn't?!
well I'll be damned....
Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
One compliment I gave was that I thought the guy had wicked taste in music.
One compliment I gave to a guy was that he's the most beautiful person i've ever met... cuz he is.
Music and common ground is an added bonus, focusing on only that, not saying you were, is very superficial to me.
Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
ive had some of my friends wives & girlfriends tell me if it were another time, and day, they wouldnt hesitate.
Ive also had chicks tell me I am too nice.
Toledo, Ohio (September 22, 1996), East Troy, Wisconsin (June 26, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 17, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 18, 2000), Cincinnati, Ohio (August 20, 2000), Columbus, Ohio (August 21, 2000), Nashville, Tennessee (April 18, 2003), Champaign, Illinois (April 23, 2003), Noblesville, Indiana (June 22, 2003), Chicago, Illinois (May 16, 2006), Chicago, Illinois (August 05, 2007), West Palm Beach, Florida (June 11, 2008), Tampa, Florida (June 12, 2008), Columbus, OH (May 06, 2010), Noblesville, Indiana (May 07, 2010), Wrigley Field (July 19, 2013), US Bank Arena (October 01, 2014), Lexington (April 26, 2016), Chicago Night 2 (August 20, 2018), Boston Night 1 (September 02, 2018), Nashville (September 16, 2022), St. Louis (September 18, 2022)
Strange...someone said that to me not so long ago...
fool
Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
The reason I think some dudes get upset whan a woman friend compliments them is that they cannot control their own emotions BECAUSE they are attracted to the person. if a 90 year old woman who is bald with no teeth says, YOU LOOK HOT, its like...ohhhhhhhh k....thats fucked. now have the hot chick in the office say out of the blue one morning you look handsome today, it messes you up because of the attraction. you are attracted to that person and cannot handle the compliment simply as a compliment.
and, yes, I have complimented my buddies on looking good. not in the bar, not in the wieght room, but at their weddings and shit I tell them they look handsome. when a dude who normally doesnt dress up at work comes in in a suit, I ask why are they so dapper and where was the job iterview. I am not attracted to them so it doesnt matter and vice versa....like when a gay dude compliments you....you dont get all upset (maybe you do...I dont know).
does that make sense?
my wife told me she fell in love with me all over again when she saw our newborn son in my arms one night....hes a year old...I havent forgotten it. i guess thats a bit more than flattering..
simply telling someone they look handsome is flattering.
peace.
All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
my wife told me she fell in love with me all over again when she saw our newborn son in my arms one night....hes a year old...I havent forgotten it.
peace.
Thats just simply beautiful
Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
You boys read way way way too far into these things. Your friend meant you looked nice the other day. She is not trying to seduce you.
oh. my. god. how did you not get that I was joking when I said that? Audiodave and Sian both picked up on it. I actually said in the post, I liked the comment because it WAS just her being nice, there was no hidden agenda. I can't believe you didn't get my soulsinging impersonation :(
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
simply telling someone they look handsome is flattering.
to all the ladies out there...go ahead and conduct an experiment....tell a coworker he looks handsome today or tomorrow and watch how he reacts....those that take it simply as a compliment will just say thanks and be done with it....they may even joke back that you look good as well today ouf of akwardness......sure they will be flattered....
those who take it as something more will be in your office/cubicle door throughout the rest of the day today, tomorrow, and next week. they will probably tell all their work friends that you want them....I know these guys...ha ha.
All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
I think you read too much into his post. What he said was followed by a indicating to me that he didn't mean that bit.
By the way, I agree with what you said. She probably just thought he looked nice.
You are correct on all counts
I am feeling very disillusioned now about the apparent worth of the winking emoticon. I wonder how many other tongue-in-cheek comments have been taken at face value, and subsequently caused people on this board to view me as a bit arrogant and shallow
ps, I tell my friends they are great all the time. I also take the piss a lot but that's just my nature.
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
I tell my boyfriend all the time that he's cute and sweet because... urm... HE IS :rolleyes: Amazingly enough, it doesn't make him any less attractive or sexually appealing to me. He's absolutely gorgeous so why shouldn't I tell him so?
But he's already your boyfriend... I think you might be missing Soulsinging's point. If a girl that I was friends with told me that I'd "make someone a great boyfriend/husband someday" (especially if I was attracted to her), I'd be crushed. Maybe not because I thought I had a chance with her, but because that's the line of all lines.
ps, I tell my friends they are great all the time. I also take the piss a lot but that's just my nature.
oh you're like a male version of me!
Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
One compliment I gave to a guy was that he's the most beautiful person i've ever met... cuz he is.
Music and common ground is an added bonus, focusing on only that, not saying you were, is very superficial to me.
No, it's not the only I thing I go on!
I meant that an appreciation for music (key to the soul) is important. If someone doesn't understand the emotional complexities that music affords then I don't know if they would be as understanding/appreciative as someone who is in touch with all that. Having said that there might be others ways that people are in touch with emotions, just for me, its music.
But, on the whole I find it hard to give compliments...Im going to try and rectify that asap.
But he's already your boyfriend... I think you might be missing Soulsinging's point. If a girl that I was friends with told me that I'd "make someone a great boyfriend/husband someday" (especially if I was attracted to her), I'd be crushed. Maybe not because I thought I had a chance with her, but because that's the line of all lines.
exactly. its not her fault you are crushed. she didnt crush you on purpose. nothing to get angry about. she is complimenting you, and you simply cannot take it as that because you are attracted. when two people are attracted 2 each other, they are not usually friends...too fucked up because one person cannot handle it. everyone can see that one person is more into it than the other by the way. i have seen it with buddies....
All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
I'd find it very hard to believe that any woman would utter that line to a guy and not be able to comprehend how cliche it is and how it comes off. Now, every girl in this place is probably going to say otherwise , but to me it's like a backhanded compliment.
So ladies, I'll ask you this: If I told one of you that you had a really nice personality, how would you take that?
But he's already your boyfriend... I think you might be missing Soulsinging's point. If a girl that I was friends with told me that I'd "make someone a great boyfriend/husband someday" (especially if I was attracted to her), I'd be crushed. Maybe not because I thought I had a chance with her, but because that's the line of all lines.
bingo. my gf can compliment me all she likes and i take it with a smile. but few things are more bothersome than a compliment from a platonic friend. if women can psychoanalyze us for calling them, not calling them, our posture when we speak to them, the number of seconds of eye contact we maintained when we saw them on the street 14 weeks ago... i dont think it's unreasonable for a guy to get a bit of a head fuck when a girl drops a comment like "you look hot today" or "you're a great guy... for some other girl."
I've said it before, and i'll say it again: You do NOT speak for all men. You certainly don't speak for me. Just because all you want from a woman is sex, don't project that onto the rest of the male gender.
i don't? son of a bitch. i could have sworn i won some election somewhere. and this whole time i thought every word i spoke was gospel! you've just overturned my entire worldview dave!
no, it's not like saying that.
saying something nice about someone is saying something nice about someone. period. there is no underlying hidden meaning, there is no other motive, it's not being mean. come off it.
you know I find it so hilarious that in the past you've called me "bitter." I cannot possibly imagine a person on this planet who is more bitter than you.
id consider you naive for you to contend that a girl who replies to a guy who has poured his heart out to her with "you're a wonderful guy and you'll make some other girl a wonderful husband one day" is "just a compliment." it's a staggering rejection with a weak attempt to soften the blow.
as to the second part, yes i am bitter and cynical. i dont think this comes as news to anyone.
The reason I think some dudes get upset whan a woman friend compliments them is that they cannot control their own emotions BECAUSE they are attracted to the person.
Agreed. I love getting compliments from girls, regardless of whether or not I'm attracted to them, or if they're in a relationship with someone else, or whatever.
I've also noticed that people who can't take compliments, rarely GIVE them either.
Can I just say, you certainly do not speak for me, sweetness.
I tell my boyfriend all the time that he's cute and sweet because... urm... HE IS :rolleyes: Amazingly enough, it doesn't make him any less attractive or sexually appealing to me. He's absolutely gorgeous so why shouldn't I tell him so? I have in the past, dated men like you, and I can tell you now that I've never had so little confidence or felt so uncomfortable expressing my feelings. I wish any woman luck with you. Maybe if you listened to women and didn't treat them like an object every once in a while you might be a bit more positive and less bitter sounding.
Also, I tell my friends all the time how great they are, male or female. What does it take? A compliment here, a hug there... A few words and the smallest actions can make someone feel appreciated and loved more than anything. I can't help thinking maybe you're socially inept? Maybe you should look into that, could be a problem for the future...
I for one, am completely comfortable with my emotions and feelings for others, I don't have problem differenciating or expressing them. I don't feel you are and I also feel very sorry for you but ah well... it's your life.... good luck with that.
did i say i spoke for you? i dont even know what planet you're from.
1. the OP asked guys what girls have said to them that has been touching or memorable, not how great girls think they are for being so generous with compliments to friends.
2. he is your BOYFRIEND. if you said that to a platonic friend you know is interested in you, it's a huge "fuck you" to them, becos you're basically telling them they are ok as a friend, but he's not attractive enough for you to actually date.
3. socially inept? not sure what you mean, but theorize all you like. im doing just fine.
4. i am perfectly fine with my emotions too, but i am also conscious of how my words affect others. thus, i try not to fuck with girls that are interested in me by misleading them with comments like "damn, you look good" when there is no chance in hell i will ever get with them.
amen soulsinging! you are hitting this right on the head (i am not being sarcastic either). any compliment to a guy is good, just don't go overboard with the terminology used. as for the phone calls, i couldn't agree anymore. i didn't call someone for TWO FUCKING DAYS and i guess that was enough for her to completely ignore me, even after we had a date set up. and when they try to soften the blow, that makes it even worse. it's like a kick to the nuts.
"Fuck the talkin' let's start rockin" - Eddie Vedder 9-5-00 Pittsburgh
4/26/03 Pittsburgh 5/3/03 State College 7/12/03 Hershey 10/1/04 Reading 9/28/05 Pittsburgh 5/20/06 Cleveland 6/23/06 Pittsburgh 6/22/08 DC
friends don't let friends listen to good charlotte
The best compliment my wife has ever given me is that she feels safe and secure when I hold her in my arms. She has told me that has two meanings. The first is obvious with being physically safe. The second is more emotional as in that if she's having a bad day or things are too hectic, a good hug or embrace helps calm her down and helps to make things better. I guess it goes back to some intrinsic male characteristic, but I like being the 'protector' and taking care of my wife. Plus, it's always nice to have a quick way of calming her when somethings the matter.
That's not to say that she doesn't compliment me about my looks, personality, etc...I just think that one is the best.
The best compliment my wife has ever given me is that she feels safe and secure when I hold her in my arms. She has told me that has two meanings. The first is obvious with being physically safe. The second is more emotional as in that if she's having a bad day or things are too hectic, a good hug or embrace helps calm her down and helps to make things better. I guess it goes back to some intrinsic male characteristic, but I like being the 'protector' and taking care of my wife. Plus, it's always nice to have a quick way of calming her when somethings the matter.
That's not to say that she doesn't compliment me about my looks, personality, etc...I just think that one is the best.
that's ok, that's probably the best kind of compliment for a guy. when someone says something like they were talking about before though it's a straight shot to the jimmy.
"Fuck the talkin' let's start rockin" - Eddie Vedder 9-5-00 Pittsburgh
4/26/03 Pittsburgh 5/3/03 State College 7/12/03 Hershey 10/1/04 Reading 9/28/05 Pittsburgh 5/20/06 Cleveland 6/23/06 Pittsburgh 6/22/08 DC
friends don't let friends listen to good charlotte
sorry....I'd feel too much like I was tootin my own horn to say. She covered pretty much everything that mattered tho. It's all f'd up tho...she just broke up with her bf...pretty sure I moved into friend territory quite a while back...and she's way younger than me...so I don't know if they were pity compliments, keep stringing him along compliments, or I wanna jump your bones compliments. Like I said...don't care cause it felt great -I ate 'em up
O.k., so here's hoping for you it is the latter...
Any way, yeah, it just occurred to me yesterday this would be an interesting subject, and all your varied comments and emotional reaction proves it!
i didn't call someone for TWO FUCKING DAYS and i guess that was enough for her to completely ignore me, even after we had a date set up. and when they try to soften the blow, that makes it even worse. it's like a kick to the nuts.
this type of thing is all based on the maturity level of the parties involved.
2. he is your BOYFRIEND. if you said that to a platonic friend you know is interested in you, it's a huge "fuck you" to them, becos you're basically telling them they are ok as a friend, but he's not attractive enough for you to actually date.
.
you assuming here that the male friend in the situation has romantic feelings for the female friend. first of all, why would assume that? if they're friends, it's probably because I don't know, they LIKE being friends???
and if your assumption turns out to be correct, and the male friend has feelings for the female friend and the female friend does not reciprocate, it's not the COMPLIMENT that is the problem, it is the overall rejection. The COMPLIMENT itself is not mean, it is not a "huge fuck you." If I am friends with a guy, and I like his new hair cut, and I say, "nice haircut, you look good," it doesn't mean "nice hair cut, you look good, but I'm lying and you really repulse me and I hate you." I mean, I am having a hard time explaining this to you because you see this is how we humans function in society with our friends and loved ones, and it doesn't really apply to you.
if getting compliments from your friends is bothersome...you have MAJOR issues.
cool. we can go to therapy together when you finally crack and realize your weight obsession is SERIOUSLY fucked up.
yes, i was assuming there were romantic feelings involved. i find it difficult to believe the OP just wanted to know how to make her purely platonic friend feel better. it sounded like she was trying to figure out how to make a particularly appealing specimen feel special. and i stand by my suggestions. you say his shoes are cute, he's not going to give a fuck. you say he's nice, he'll think "uh oh." you say he's a god with the biggest dick she's seen since that king kong dong she ordered a few years back, and he's going to feel like a fucking rock star.
Comments
he isn't?!
well I'll be damned....
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
One compliment I gave to a guy was that he's the most beautiful person i've ever met... cuz he is.
Music and common ground is an added bonus, focusing on only that, not saying you were, is very superficial to me.
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
Ive also had chicks tell me I am too nice.
Toledo, Ohio (September 22, 1996), East Troy, Wisconsin (June 26, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 17, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 18, 2000), Cincinnati, Ohio (August 20, 2000), Columbus, Ohio (August 21, 2000), Nashville, Tennessee (April 18, 2003), Champaign, Illinois (April 23, 2003), Noblesville, Indiana (June 22, 2003), Chicago, Illinois (May 16, 2006), Chicago, Illinois (August 05, 2007), West Palm Beach, Florida (June 11, 2008), Tampa, Florida (June 12, 2008), Columbus, OH (May 06, 2010), Noblesville, Indiana (May 07, 2010), Wrigley Field (July 19, 2013), US Bank Arena (October 01, 2014), Lexington (April 26, 2016), Chicago Night 2 (August 20, 2018), Boston Night 1 (September 02, 2018), Nashville (September 16, 2022), St. Louis (September 18, 2022)
I don't wanna think, I wanna feel
Dublin 23/08/06 Lisbon I 04/09/06 Lisbon II 05/09/06 Paris 11/09/06 Verona 16/09/06
London 18/06/07 Dusseldorf 21/06/07 Copenhagen 26/06/07 Nijmegen 28/06/07
fool
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
and, yes, I have complimented my buddies on looking good. not in the bar, not in the wieght room, but at their weddings and shit I tell them they look handsome. when a dude who normally doesnt dress up at work comes in in a suit, I ask why are they so dapper and where was the job iterview. I am not attracted to them so it doesnt matter and vice versa....like when a gay dude compliments you....you dont get all upset (maybe you do...I dont know).
does that make sense?
my wife told me she fell in love with me all over again when she saw our newborn son in my arms one night....hes a year old...I havent forgotten it. i guess thats a bit more than flattering..
simply telling someone they look handsome is flattering.
peace.
Thats just simply beautiful
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
those who take it as something more will be in your office/cubicle door throughout the rest of the day today, tomorrow, and next week. they will probably tell all their work friends that you want them....I know these guys...ha ha.
I am feeling very disillusioned now about the apparent worth of the winking emoticon. I wonder how many other tongue-in-cheek comments have been taken at face value, and subsequently caused people on this board to view me as a bit arrogant and shallow
ps, I tell my friends they are great all the time. I also take the piss a lot but that's just my nature.
But he's already your boyfriend... I think you might be missing Soulsinging's point. If a girl that I was friends with told me that I'd "make someone a great boyfriend/husband someday" (especially if I was attracted to her), I'd be crushed. Maybe not because I thought I had a chance with her, but because that's the line of all lines.
oh you're like a male version of me!
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
No, it's not the only I thing I go on!
I meant that an appreciation for music (key to the soul) is important. If someone doesn't understand the emotional complexities that music affords then I don't know if they would be as understanding/appreciative as someone who is in touch with all that. Having said that there might be others ways that people are in touch with emotions, just for me, its music.
But, on the whole I find it hard to give compliments...Im going to try and rectify that asap.
2007 ░▒▓ London, Dusseldorf, Copenhagen, Nijmegen
2009 ░▒▓ Manchester, London
2010 ░▒▓ Hyde Park
*§* Music is all the juice i'll need *§*
So ladies, I'll ask you this: If I told one of you that you had a really nice personality, how would you take that?
bingo. my gf can compliment me all she likes and i take it with a smile. but few things are more bothersome than a compliment from a platonic friend. if women can psychoanalyze us for calling them, not calling them, our posture when we speak to them, the number of seconds of eye contact we maintained when we saw them on the street 14 weeks ago... i dont think it's unreasonable for a guy to get a bit of a head fuck when a girl drops a comment like "you look hot today" or "you're a great guy... for some other girl."
i don't? son of a bitch. i could have sworn i won some election somewhere. and this whole time i thought every word i spoke was gospel! you've just overturned my entire worldview dave!
:rolleyes:
id consider you naive for you to contend that a girl who replies to a guy who has poured his heart out to her with "you're a wonderful guy and you'll make some other girl a wonderful husband one day" is "just a compliment." it's a staggering rejection with a weak attempt to soften the blow.
as to the second part, yes i am bitter and cynical. i dont think this comes as news to anyone.
I've also noticed that people who can't take compliments, rarely GIVE them either.
did i say i spoke for you? i dont even know what planet you're from.
1. the OP asked guys what girls have said to them that has been touching or memorable, not how great girls think they are for being so generous with compliments to friends.
2. he is your BOYFRIEND. if you said that to a platonic friend you know is interested in you, it's a huge "fuck you" to them, becos you're basically telling them they are ok as a friend, but he's not attractive enough for you to actually date.
3. socially inept? not sure what you mean, but theorize all you like. im doing just fine.
4. i am perfectly fine with my emotions too, but i am also conscious of how my words affect others. thus, i try not to fuck with girls that are interested in me by misleading them with comments like "damn, you look good" when there is no chance in hell i will ever get with them.
4/26/03 Pittsburgh 5/3/03 State College 7/12/03 Hershey 10/1/04 Reading 9/28/05 Pittsburgh 5/20/06 Cleveland 6/23/06 Pittsburgh 6/22/08 DC
friends don't let friends listen to good charlotte
The best compliment my wife has ever given me is that she feels safe and secure when I hold her in my arms. She has told me that has two meanings. The first is obvious with being physically safe. The second is more emotional as in that if she's having a bad day or things are too hectic, a good hug or embrace helps calm her down and helps to make things better. I guess it goes back to some intrinsic male characteristic, but I like being the 'protector' and taking care of my wife. Plus, it's always nice to have a quick way of calming her when somethings the matter.
That's not to say that she doesn't compliment me about my looks, personality, etc...I just think that one is the best.
4/26/03 Pittsburgh 5/3/03 State College 7/12/03 Hershey 10/1/04 Reading 9/28/05 Pittsburgh 5/20/06 Cleveland 6/23/06 Pittsburgh 6/22/08 DC
friends don't let friends listen to good charlotte
O.k., so here's hoping for you it is the latter...
Any way, yeah, it just occurred to me yesterday this would be an interesting subject, and all your varied comments and emotional reaction proves it!
https://www.facebook.com/Bring.Pearl.Jam.To.Israel
if getting compliments from your friends is bothersome...you have MAJOR issues.
this type of thing is all based on the maturity level of the parties involved.
Ohhh, shucks Hinny!
I can give you better compliments than that, just get here already!
Great information, you menches, keep it coming!
https://www.facebook.com/Bring.Pearl.Jam.To.Israel
you assuming here that the male friend in the situation has romantic feelings for the female friend. first of all, why would assume that? if they're friends, it's probably because I don't know, they LIKE being friends???
and if your assumption turns out to be correct, and the male friend has feelings for the female friend and the female friend does not reciprocate, it's not the COMPLIMENT that is the problem, it is the overall rejection. The COMPLIMENT itself is not mean, it is not a "huge fuck you." If I am friends with a guy, and I like his new hair cut, and I say, "nice haircut, you look good," it doesn't mean "nice hair cut, you look good, but I'm lying and you really repulse me and I hate you." I mean, I am having a hard time explaining this to you because you see this is how we humans function in society with our friends and loved ones, and it doesn't really apply to you.
cool. we can go to therapy together when you finally crack and realize your weight obsession is SERIOUSLY fucked up.
yes, i was assuming there were romantic feelings involved. i find it difficult to believe the OP just wanted to know how to make her purely platonic friend feel better. it sounded like she was trying to figure out how to make a particularly appealing specimen feel special. and i stand by my suggestions. you say his shoes are cute, he's not going to give a fuck. you say he's nice, he'll think "uh oh." you say he's a god with the biggest dick she's seen since that king kong dong she ordered a few years back, and he's going to feel like a fucking rock star.