Men! Think back, and answer me this little question -

Sian-of-the-dead

soulsinging wrote:

compliments from women only work when they include a promise of sex. otherwise it's like giving you a hug to stick a knife in your back.

wtf?! are you serious?!

soulsinging

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

wtf?! are you serious?!

for the most part. case in point... the one earlier about how a guy is so sweet and cute and would make a great husband... for someone else. that's fucking shitty. don't tell me that bullshit cos it rings false. if we were so cute and sweet we'd make a great husband for you, but we know you're just placating it and you don't mean it.

and if you ARE just a friend, i dont need or want an awkward compliment from you. if im in a bar with a guy friend and he says "dude, you have the bluest eyes ever" or "you know, your sense of humor really brightens my day" id have to kick his fucking ass. so why would i want/care to hear it from a girl? the compliment is unspoken between friends. we dont feel the need to validate the friendship. so dont bother, it means nothing to us.

in a romantic situation, no compliment is going to make a guy feel good unless it includes the sentiment that you want him as a sexual partner. otherwise it's going to do more damage than good. becos saying "you are the nicest guy ever, but i don't want to get physical with you" is like saying "you are the nicest guy ever, but you are so hideously unattractive there is no way i can possibly look past it to explore a real physical relationship with you."

justam

einatshaul wrote:

What was the most flattering thing a woman (any woman) has ever said to you?

I'm trying to get an idea of what themes and subject matters stick in a guy's mind after a conversation with a woman... No need to reveal anything too personal, just your honest opinion!

Looking forward to your interesting answers...

Thanks!

I hate to say it but this seems so calculated...like you're looking for something to snag someone...

The best compliments are usually SINCERE ones about something you honestly feel!!

GreenTeaDisease

soulsinging wrote:

for the most part. case in point... the one earlier about how a guy is so sweet and cute and would make a great husband... for someone else. that's fucking shitty. don't tell me that bullshit cos it rings false. if we were so cute and sweet we'd make a great husband for you, but we know you're just placating it and you don't mean it.

and if you ARE just a friend, i dont need or want an awkward compliment from you. if im in a bar with a guy friend and he says "dude, you have the bluest eyes ever" or "you know, your sense of humor really brightens my day" id have to kick his fucking ass. so why would i want/care to hear it from a girl? the compliment is unspoken between friends. we dont feel the need to validate the friendship. so dont bother, it means nothing to us.

in a romantic situation, no compliment is going to make a guy feel good unless it includes the sentiment that you want him as a sexual partner. otherwise it's going to do more damage than good. becos saying "you are the nicest guy ever, but i don't want to get physical with you" is like saying "you are the nicest guy ever, but you are so hideously unattractive there is no way i can possibly look past it to explore a real physical relationship with you."

no, it's not like saying that.
saying something nice about someone is saying something nice about someone. period. there is no underlying hidden meaning, there is no other motive, it's not being mean. come off it.

you know I find it so hilarious that in the past you've called me "bitter." I cannot possibly imagine a person on this planet who is more bitter than you.

Heineken Helen

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

wtf?! are you serious?!

Deadly!

Sian meet soulsinging

audiodave

soulsinging wrote:

for the most part. case in point... the one earlier about how a guy is so sweet and cute and would make a great husband... for someone else. that's fucking shitty. don't tell me that bullshit cos it rings false. if we were so cute and sweet we'd make a great husband for you, but we know you're just placating it and you don't mean it.

and if you ARE just a friend, i dont need or want an awkward compliment from you. if im in a bar with a guy friend and he says "dude, you have the bluest eyes ever" or "you know, your sense of humor really brightens my day" id have to kick his fucking ass. so why would i want/care to hear it from a girl? the compliment is unspoken between friends. we dont feel the need to validate the friendship. so dont bother, it means nothing to us.

in a romantic situation, no compliment is going to make a guy feel good unless it includes the sentiment that you want him as a sexual partner. otherwise it's going to do more damage than good. becos saying "you are the nicest guy ever, but i don't want to get physical with you" is like saying "you are the nicest guy ever, but you are so hideously unattractive there is no way i can possibly look past it to explore a real physical relationship with you."

I've said it before, and i'll say it again: You do NOT speak for all men. You certainly don't speak for me. Just because all you want from a woman is sex, don't project that onto the rest of the male gender. There's a lot more to life, and if you fail to see that, I feel sorry for you.

Jeremy1012

audiodave wrote:

I've said it before, and i'll say it again: You do NOT speak for all men. You certainly don't speak for me. Just because all you want from a woman is sex, don't project that onto the rest of the male gender. There's a lot more to life, and if you fail to see that, I feel sorry for you.

I actually think soulsinging is right about some of what he said but I agree with you that he does NOT speak for all men One of my friends, who has a boyfriend, randomly told me that I looked really nice the other day when she was a bit drunk and being much less inhibited and I was actually pretty pleased. It was clearly not some loaded comment because she has a boyfriend that she is happy with, she was just being nice and, seemingly, without an agenda. Having said that, it could be that she is unhappy with her boyfriend and was trying to seduce me, I don't know

But soulsinging, your cynicism, however well-founded, makes me despair for the world. Don't do that to me please
by the way, you know your sense of humour really brightens up my day?

Sian-of-the-dead

soulsinging wrote:

for the most part. case in point... the one earlier about how a guy is so sweet and cute and would make a great husband... for someone else. that's fucking shitty. don't tell me that bullshit cos it rings false. if we were so cute and sweet we'd make a great husband for you, but we know you're just placating it and you don't mean it.

and if you ARE just a friend, i dont need or want an awkward compliment from you. if im in a bar with a guy friend and he says "dude, you have the bluest eyes ever" or "you know, your sense of humor really brightens my day" id have to kick his fucking ass. so why would i want/care to hear it from a girl? the compliment is unspoken between friends. we dont feel the need to validate the friendship. so dont bother, it means nothing to us.

in a romantic situation, no compliment is going to make a guy feel good unless it includes the sentiment that you want him as a sexual partner. otherwise it's going to do more damage than good. becos saying "you are the nicest guy ever, but i don't want to get physical with you" is like saying "you are the nicest guy ever, but you are so hideously unattractive there is no way i can possibly look past it to explore a real physical relationship with you."

Can I just say, you certainly do not speak for me, sweetness.

I tell my boyfriend all the time that he's cute and sweet because... urm... HE IS :rolleyes: Amazingly enough, it doesn't make him any less attractive or sexually appealing to me. He's absolutely gorgeous so why shouldn't I tell him so? I have in the past, dated men like you, and I can tell you now that I've never had so little confidence or felt so uncomfortable expressing my feelings. I wish any woman luck with you. Maybe if you listened to women and didn't treat them like an object every once in a while you might be a bit more positive and less bitter sounding.

Also, I tell my friends all the time how great they are, male or female. What does it take? A compliment here, a hug there... A few words and the smallest actions can make someone feel appreciated and loved more than anything. I can't help thinking maybe you're socially inept? Maybe you should look into that, could be a problem for the future...

I for one, am completely comfortable with my emotions and feelings for others, I don't have problem differenciating or expressing them. I don't feel you are and I also feel very sorry for you but ah well... it's your life.... good luck with that.

dirtyT

Would have to be...."I've seen smaller"

GreenTeaDisease

Jeremy1012 wrote:

It was clearly not some loaded comment because she has a boyfriend that she is happy with, she was just being nice and, seemingly, without an agenda. Having said that, it could be that she is unhappy with her boyfriend and was trying to seduce me, I don't know

You boys read way way way too far into these things. Your friend meant you looked nice the other day. She is not trying to seduce you.

wash_

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

You boys read way way way too far into these things. Your friend meant you looked nice the other day. She is not trying to seduce you.

I was thinking that...reading into things is a very female trait.

Are men turning into women?!


Da da daaaaaaa

GreenTeaDisease

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

I tell my boyfriend all the time that he's cute and sweet because... urm... HE IS :rolleyes: Amazingly enough, it doesn't make him any less attractive or sexually appealing to me. He's absolutely gorgeous so why shouldn't I tell him so? I have in the past, dated men like you, and I can tell you now that I've never had so little confidence or felt so uncomfortable expressing my feelings. I wish any woman luck with you. Maybe if you listened to women and didn't treat them like an object every once in a while you might be a bit more positive and less bitter sounding.

EXACTLY sian. I told my boyfriend he was cute everyday. I called him sweetness as a pet name. and yes, I let him have sex with me, pretty much everyday...

I also agree that when you're dating someone as screwed up, twisted, and bitter...it makes for a HORRIBLE time. always making sure you say/don't say the right things. worried they're analysing you.

audiodave

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

You boys read way way way too far into these things. Your friend meant you looked nice the other day. She is not trying to seduce you.

I think you read too much into his post. What he said was followed by a indicating to me that he didn't mean that bit.

By the way, I agree with what you said. She probably just thought he looked nice.

Sian-of-the-dead

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I let him have sex with me, pretty much everyday...

sorry GTD, that really made me laugh

Heineken Helen

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Can I just say, you certainly do not speak for me, sweetness.

I tell my boyfriend all the time that he's cute and sweet because... urm... HE IS :rolleyes: Amazingly enough, it doesn't make him any less attractive or sexually appealing to me. He's absolutely gorgeous so why shouldn't I tell him so? I have in the past, dated men like you, and I can tell you now that I've never had so little confidence or felt so uncomfortable expressing my feelings. I wish any woman luck with you. Maybe if you listened to women and didn't treat them like an object every once in a while you might be a bit more positive and less bitter sounding.

Also, I tell my friends all the time how great they are, male or female. What does it take? A compliment here, a hug there... A few words and the smallest actions can make someone feel appreciated and loved more than anything. I can't help thinking maybe you're socially inept? Maybe you should look into that, could be a problem for the future...

I for one, am completely comfortable with my emotions and feelings for others, I don't have problem differenciating or expressing them. I don't feel you are and I also feel very sorry for you but ah well... it's your life.... good luck with that.

Beautiful post

And I love you two

wash_

One compliment I gave was that I thought the guy had wicked taste in music.

Silly stuff like that is important to me...good taste in music=certain level of appreciation and emotion.

Sian-of-the-dead

audiodave wrote:

By the way, I agree with what you said. She probably just thought he looked nice.

some people (not jeremy1012 I might add, I also believe he was joking) just can't handle compliments though, they read sex into everything. These people also normally believe that men and women can't be friends either cuz it'd be seen as there being 'something' in it.... jeez... grow up! :rolleyes:

Sian-of-the-dead

Heineken Helen wrote:

Beautiful post

And I love you two

why thank you, one does try...

Heineken Helen

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

some people (not jeremy1012 I might add, I also believe he was joking) just can't handle compliments though, they read sex into everything. These people also normally believe that men and women can't be friends either cuz it'd be seen as there being 'something' in it.... jeez... grow up! :rolleyes:

Grow up.... exactly!

I feel sorry for people like that :( it's kinda sad.

audiodave

Heineken Helen wrote:

Beautiful post : )

And I love you two

:rolleyes:

wash_ wrote:

One compliment I gave was that I thought the guy had wicked taste in music.

Silly stuff like that is important to me...good taste in music=certain level of appreciation and emotion.

But it's only good taste to you...music being subjective and all that.

And Sian...how can men and women be just friends, when the man is always just thinking up a plan of how to sleep with the woman?! Oh wait...that's because he isn't.