why do men have to be so feckin obvious?

dunkman

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

that's not really how it works. Sure some women show off certain parts to get noticed, but most don't. A woman usually picks out clothes based on if she likes the style and color and if it flatters her figure (doesn't make her look "fat") and if it's comfortable and if it's affordable. Sometimes you pick out a top because it's cute and it happens to be a little more low-cut. I don't know anyone who picks out a top specifically because it's low-cut (though I'm sure they're out there).

why else would she be flattering her figure unless it was the benefit of others to see? if she doesnt want people looking at her then she'd wear a sweatsuit all day... women like to be noticed, they like thinking they look hot.

and women wear sweaters that come down to their jugs... why? its to enhance the cleavage and unless they are enhancing it for other women to see or to tease babies that are just starting on solids then i think its to attract men.. consciously or subconsciously.

soulsinging

Heineken Helen wrote:

You HAVE? That's doubtful

you must have missed the bukkake debate in the japanese thread.

Heineken Helen wrote:

great point! Well right now I feel good about it and have convinced myself I must look good today but at the time you just feel like some kinda sex object.

you're not? isn't that what women are for? like i said... 2 seconds ago men are creepy perverts for looking at you, now you've got a bounce in your step thanks to our staring. you're welcome.

Brain of J.Lo

dunkman wrote:

if she doesnt want people looking at her then she'd wear a sweatsuit all day...

lol, I always say that anyone who says they don't care about their appearance is lying...unless they are wearing elastic waistband pants.

At that point, you have stopped caring.

Heineken Helen

Brain of J.Lo wrote:

There's definitely some truth to this. Much to my husband's delight, I actually happen to look best in a deep V-neck. So, cleavage does show...but, that's not the main reason I wear that style. It's just more flattering on me than other necklines.

Then again, I don't really care if people check me out. I've always felt that way. It doesn't really bother me if someone wants to look...as long as they aren't too aggressive or make rude comments. The only time in my life where it really made me uncomfortable was when I was working in the men's section of a department store. I would get customers that would make me uncomfortable, and this old guy that worked in the area across from me was always on the borderline of harrassing me.

no well like I said, if they say something I can handle it, I can be quite the smartarse... but if they say nothing and they're just glaring at ya mouths open, it's like you're a piece of meat... and I was looking like 'what the fuck are ya lookin at? Close yer mouth' and they still kept it up ah well

dunkman

Brain of J.Lo wrote:

There's definitely some truth to this. Much to my husband's delight, I actually happen to look best in a deep V-neck. So, cleavage does show...but, that's not the main reason I wear that style. It's just more flattering on me than other necklines.

theres that word again... its flattering on you... you want that compliment and that compliment is the acknowledgment of a man.. its purely natural.. .we are but mammals... except Helen and Souly... they are plankton

soulsinging

Brain of J.Lo wrote:

lol, I always say that anyone who says they don't care about their appearance is lying...unless they are wearing elastic waistband pants.

At that point, you have stopped caring.

fuck, my girlfriend REALLY doesn't care then.

Heineken Helen

soulsinging wrote:

you must have missed the bukkake debate in the japanese thread.



you're not? isn't that what women are for? like i said... 2 seconds ago men are creepy perverts for looking at you, now you've got a bounce in your step thanks to our staring. you're welcome.

Oh no they're still creepy, but at least I look good ya know for the other men who wouldn't be soooooo obvious.

Brain of J.Lo

Heineken Helen wrote:

no well like I said, if they say something I can handle it, I can be quite the smartarse... but if they say nothing and they're just glaring at ya mouths open, it's like you're a piece of meat... and I was looking like 'what the fuck are ya lookin at? Close yer mouth' and they still kept it up ah well

Yeah...there's definitely a line where you start to feel objectified.

soulsinging

dunkman wrote:

theres that word again... its flattering on you... you want that compliment and that compliment is the acknowledgment of a man.. its purely natural.. .we are but mammals... except Helen and Souly... they are plankton

cockroach. every time you think you're finally rid of me, i come crawling back.

Ms. Haiku

Heineken Helen wrote:

I went to one of the other offices there a few minutes ago and there were a group of guys standing outside and they all turned and looked at me walking the whole way, all looking me up and down and I felt really paranoid. I glared at them til they all looked away. I mean, I'm not even wearing a really low cut top today... but just felt so dirty.

So if you're a man... don't stare, it's fuckin RUDE! :mad:

Maybe some not all men have less water in their eyes, so they get stuck in a position if they cross a certain focus-to-thought ratio of movement.

Something the consistency of peanut butter is keeping their eyes from popping out (like in cartoons), but it doesn't stop the eyes from just being as is in the same position.


I feel fire flare in my face when men make lewd remarks about my body to me. It's hurtful what those men do.

stu gee

Heineken Helen wrote:

I went to one of the other offices there a few minutes ago and there were a group of guys standing outside and they all turned and looked at me walking the whole way, all looking me up and down and I felt really paranoid. I glared at them til they all looked away. I mean, I'm not even wearing a really low cut top today... but just felt so dirty.

So if you're a man... don't stare, it's fuckin RUDE! :mad:

I dont stare at women really, at least not so much as to make them feel uncomfortable, but if the men had glanced at you then immediately turned back to eachother and went about their business would you have been happier?

Heineken Helen

Brain of J.Lo wrote:

Yeah...there's definitely a line where you start to feel objectified.

yep exactly! It's like everything else, there is always a line but it's a personal one... so whether or not it makes sense to anyone else, I don't actually need to justify it :cool:

Brain of J.Lo

dunkman wrote:

theres that word again... its flattering on you... you want that compliment and that compliment is the acknowledgment of a man.. its purely natural.. .we are but mammals... except Helen and Souly... they are plankton

Yeah, I agree that I am wearing it because I want to look good. But I would happily take a compliment how I look in a given top or outfit from anyone. For example, if my mother-in-law compliments what I"m wearing, she isn't saying "wow Jenna, you look hot. I want me some of that." She's just saying that I look good. And I appreciate that type of compliment, too.

Women dress to impress other women just as much (if not more, lol) than to impress men...and not in a sexual way.

Heineken Helen

Ms. Haiku wrote:

Maybe some not all men have less water in their eyes, so they get stuck in a position if they cross a certain focus-to-thought ratio of movement.

Something the consistency of peanut butter is keeping their eyes from popping out (like in cartoons), but it doesn't stop the eyes from just being as is in the same position.


I feel fire flare in my face when men who make lewd remarks about my body to me. It's hurtful what those men do.

lol, peanut butter?

Yep, when they make lewd remarks that's just shit. Seriously guys whatever you think about whether or not it's ok to treat us like a piece of meat, IT'S NOT!

GreenTeaDisease

dunkman wrote:

theres that word again... its flattering on you... you want that compliment and that compliment is the acknowledgment of a man.. its purely natural.. .we are but mammals... except Helen and Souly... they are plankton

contrary to what men seem to think, we don't do everything to benefit men. we do things for ourselves. flattering does not mean we want to be ogled. it means it makes us feel more comfortable- if you buy something that makes you look 20X times larger than you actually are, or shorter or rounder or whatever, you're going to feel self-conscious. you want to look presentable, just like a man. "falttering" usually means it gives you an overall look that minimizes things you don't like about yourself and maximizes the things you do. for example, v-necks make me look taller and thinner, as do pointy shoes, and that makes me feel more put-together. it's not a sexual thing. you're not going to spend money on clothing that makes you look BAD. I'm sorry, but I've never bought ANY item of clothing thinking "ooo, I'll give the guys at the office a little peak today!" that's not the point of how we dress.

as I said, there ARE women, who most likely have big self-esteem issues, who do do this.

Brain of J.Lo

soulsinging wrote:

fuck, my girlfriend REALLY doesn't care then.

Well, what type of sweats is she wearing? lol

Because there are some types that are designed to sexy.

I'm thinking she's not running around in grandma-style elastic waist pants from Sears.

At least I hope not!

Heineken Helen

stu gee wrote:

I dont stare at women really, at least not so much as to make them feel uncomfortable, but if the men had glanced at you then immediately turned back to eachother and went about their business would you have been happier?

Absolutely... like I said that's usually how Irish or British men are. When they see you're starting to get uncomfortable or you caught them looking they look away or are nicer about it. But foreign men didn't seem to get that memo :mad:

MattCameronKicksButt

soulsinging wrote:

fuck, my girlfriend REALLY doesn't care then.

Ooops. Same here. I feel really bad now. :sad:

I think I'll go and put some make up on. Maybe some eye shadow up to my eyebrows.

dunkman

Heineken Helen wrote:

Seriously guys whatever you think about whether or not it's ok to treat us like a piece of meat, IT'S NOT!

look nobody thinks of you as a piece of meat.. but i do think you are in need of a spit-roasting.

Heineken Helen

dunkman wrote:

look nobody thinks of you as a piece of meat.. but i do think you are in need of a spit-roasting.

:rolleyes:

dunkman

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

contrary to what men seem to think, we don't do everything to benefit men. we do things for ourselves. flattering does not mean we want to be ogled. it means it makes us feel more comfortable- if you buy something that makes you look 20X times larger than you actually are, or shorter or rounder or whatever, you're going to feel self-conscious. you want to look presentable, just like a man. "falttering" usually means it gives you an overall look that minimizes things you don't like about yourself and maximizes the things you do. for example, v-necks make me look taller and thinner, as do pointy shoes, and that makes me feel more put-together. it's not a sexual thing. you're not going to spend money on clothing that makes you look BAD. I'm sorry, but I've never bought ANY item of clothing thinking "ooo, I'll give the guys at the office a little peak today!" that's not the point of how we dress.

as I said, there ARE women, who most likely have big self-esteem issues, who do do this.

but you do dress good to look good... and looking good to both men and women... it may be subconscious but women and men preen themselves to look good and feel good in themselves, but ALSO to appeal to the opposite sex... we're just smart mammals at the end of the day.. and all mammals engage in 'looking good' to get some nookie... peacocks open their feathers, pigeons do that weird dancing shit, lions roar and fight smaller lions to look big.... women wear low cut tops.. one day female lions will do the same

gabers

I think also it's a group mentality thing. Whenever a group of guys are standing around it is physically impossible for us not to ogle at pretty girls. Seriously, an experiment should be conducted. Even the gay guys ogle. Some of us are just able to turn away a little quicker than others.

GreenTeaDisease

dunkman wrote:

but you do dress good to look good... and looking good to both men and women... it may be subconscious but women and men preen themselves to look good and feel good in themselves, but ALSO to appeal to the opposite sex... we're just smart mammals at the end of the day.. and all mammals engage in 'looking good' to get some nookie... peacocks open their feathers, pigeons do that weird dancing shit, lions roar and fight smaller lions to look big.... women wear low cut tops.. one day female lions will do the same

of course everyone wants to appeal to the opposite sex (or the same if that's how you roll) but that is NOT the same as purposely trying to show off bits of flesh to get treated like a piece of meat. there is difference between to trying to "look good" and trying to give the construction workers a peek at your cleavage!

soulsinging

Brain of J.Lo wrote:

Well, what type of sweats is she wearing? lol

Because there are some types that are designed to sexy.

I'm thinking she's not running around in grandma-style elastic waist pants from Sears.

At least I hope not!

i'd hate to rob you of that hope, so i'll just say "no comment" :(

soulsinging

gabers wrote:

I think also it's a group mentality thing. Whenever a group of guys are standing around it is physically impossible for us not to ogle at pretty girls. Seriously, an experiment should be conducted. Even the gay guys ogle. Some of us are just able to turn away a little quicker than others.

this is true.

soulsinging

Heineken Helen wrote:

Absolutely... like I said that's usually how Irish or British men are. When they see you're starting to get uncomfortable or you caught them looking they look away or are nicer about it. But foreign men didn't seem to get that memo :mad:

this might be true. i've spoken to girls here who have gone to italy and spain and they say men just stare and don't even blink when you look at them. even here, there seem to be ethnic differences. i don't think most american men stare like this either. i look away if i get busted, but i often don't get busted

MattCameronKicksButt

This thread reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld when Jerry says 'Men like women but they don't know how to get them. They honk their car horns because they don't know what else to do. We're all out of idea's'!

Heineken Helen

gabers wrote:

I think also it's a group mentality thing. Whenever a group of guys are standing around it is physically impossible for us not to ogle at pretty girls. Seriously, an experiment should be conducted. Even the gay guys ogle. Some of us are just able to turn away a little quicker than others.

finally a straight honest answer from a guy without being a prick

so next time you're in a group ogling some girl walking along, just remember how intimidating it can be

GreenTeaDisease

you know, I hate to say it, but the more I think about, the comment that was made at the beginning that if a woman is wearing a low cut top then it is obviously "for" a man to stare at and therefore they have the right to, it is almost a rapist mentality: wearing certain clothing is "for" men and therefore gives them the right to do what they want.

you know I thought in 2007 as a society we'd be past all this.

stu gee

I dont drool and rub my hands up and down my knees when looking at a female, but i dont turn away immediately either.