Question about girls

GreenTeaDisease

soulsinging wrote:

that took me 2 minutes to type and i didnt think about it at all

but you may be right about the last sentence. i basically think that in general human beings are largely selfish and shitty to each other. so i expect the worst and my general rule of thumb for human behavior is that more often than not, people will do what's best for them without regard to how it affects you or anyone else. it's not sadistic, they don't even realize it. they do it becos it's normal and natural to put yourself and your needs first. nothing messed up or putting down about that.

I'm not talking about that. you put people into categories. if you haven't noticed, every person on this earth is just a little bit different. and everything is so nuanced...nothing ever seems to work out the way it "should."

harmless_little_f***

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I'm not talking about that. you put people into categories. if you haven't noticed, every person on this earth is just a little bit different. and everything is so nuanced...nothing ever seems to work out the way it "should."

I can sympathise with Soulsinging.... you get burned, repeatedly, and you start to think everyone is the same. Or even if they're not, there's always potential that they will be.

I'm sometimes guilty of it.

GreenTeaDisease

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

I can sympathise with Soulsinging.... you get burned, repeatedly, and you start to think everyone is the same. Or even if they're not, there's always potential that they will be.

I'm sometimes guilty of it.

did you just leave a 4 year relationship? how is that repeatedly getting burned? you went four years without getting burned by anybody.

harmless_little_f***

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

did you just leave a 4 year relationship? how is that repeatedly getting burned? you went four years without getting burned by anybody.

My life didn't start 4 years ago.... I've been shit on.... everyone's been shit on.... that's not news, surely. Having someone turn back on a promise is getting burned, no matter whether it's 4 weeks or 4 years.

Regardless, we were married, not in a 'relationship'....

GreenTeaDisease

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

My life didn't start 4 years ago.... I've been shit on.... everyone's been shit on.... that's not news, surely. Having someone turn back on a promise is getting burned, no matter whether it's 4 weeks or 4 years.

yeah but so what though? soulsinging takes this stuff so seriously...you try dating people. some people are jerks, sometimes you're a jerk, sometimes nobody's a jerk but it doesn't work out. big f-ing deal. it's just romantic relationships, which contrary to convention, are not the be-all-end-all of human life. And I'm sorry, but I can't buy into soulsinging's attitudes about good looking people and bad looking people and nice guys and bad girls and whatever the hell other categories he's come up. if you think like that, it's just putting limits on yourself and everyone else and nothing will be good for you.furthermore soulsinging talks like he's personally met everyone on this earth and knows exactly what they're thinking. it's annoying.

harmless_little_f***

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

yeah but so what though? soulsinging takes this stuff so seriously...you try dating people. some people are jerks, sometimes you're a jerk, sometimes nobody's a jerk but it doesn't work out. big f-ing deal. it's just romantic relationships, which contrary to convention, are not the be-all-end-all of human life. And I'm sorry, but I can't buy into soulsinging's attitudes about good looking people and bad looking people and nice guys and bad girls and whatever the hell other categories he's come up. if you think like that, it's just putting limits on yourself and everyone else and nothing will be good for you.furthermore soulsinging talks like he's personally met everyone on this earth and knows exactly what they're thinking. it's annoying.

I never said I AGREED with Soulsinging... just that I sympathise with his outlook. And hey.. Life. What if my wife WAS the be-all-and-end-all of mine? It's not ideal, but it happens, and when that disappears, you've got to find some way of pressing on.

MattCameronKicksButt

prism wrote:

yep. if caring about another person and trying to do things to make them feel better is selfish....then okay, I'm selfish. though I certainly don't ever think of any of my friends or family as being selfish whenever they do something nice for me

I think soulsinging's got a fair point.

(Going off the subject slightly). Have you ever changed a nappy? Why do you do it? Because you don't want to put up with the smell? Or because YOU would feel bad if your child were unhappy? It's just worth thinking about!

harmless_little_f***

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

I think soulsinging's got a fair point.

(Going off the subject slightly). Have you ever changed a nappy? Why do you do it? Because you don't want to put up with the smell? Or because YOU would feel bad if your child were unhappy? It's just worth thinking about!

Both reasons are selfish to some extent.. to get rid of the smell? Yeah that's loving!

catefrances

soulsinging wrote:

that's not really doing my former best friend and current roommate any favors though. and it does me no favors to totally fuck over a girl i currently live with. but dont worry. ill get there. once the lease is up and im so distant she'll be relieved to see me go... i'll be gone

well i wasn't talking about fucking anybody over. but wait a minute...you're hoping she breaks it off with you? you already know it's basically going nowhere, youve admitted she doesn't especially light your fire, but you'll wait until she comes to that realisation? sounds like you're already fucking her over. that sucks conor.

soulsinging

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I'm not talking about that. you put people into categories. if you haven't noticed, every person on this earth is just a little bit different. and everything is so nuanced...nothing ever seems to work out the way it "should."

that's exactly my point. nothing ever works out the way it "should." so what are you taking issue with?

and if you want to get into "spending too much time thinking about things," how many posts have you made about your weight and body?

soulsinging

catefrances wrote:

well i wasn't talking about fucking anybody over. but wait a minute...you're hoping she breaks it off with you? you already know it's basically going nowhere, youve admitted she doesn't especially light your fire, but you'll wait until she comes to that realisation? sounds like you're already fucking her over. that sucks conor.

no, im waiting until i can get out of our lease easily

and in the meantime, im raising the problems enough to either give her time to change and us to work it out or least ensure it won't be a total shock when i call it quits so she's not blindsided like i was once. yeah, it sucks for her. but it's the best solution i can come up with.

soulsinging

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

yeah but so what though? soulsinging takes this stuff so seriously...you try dating people. some people are jerks, sometimes you're a jerk, sometimes nobody's a jerk but it doesn't work out. big f-ing deal. it's just romantic relationships, which contrary to convention, are not the be-all-end-all of human life.

this is exactly my point and what i've been saying. what's the problem?

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

And I'm sorry, but I can't buy into soulsinging's attitudes about good looking people and bad looking people and nice guys and bad girls and whatever the hell other categories he's come up. if you think like that, it's just putting limits on yourself and everyone else and nothing will be good for you.furthermore soulsinging talks like he's personally met everyone on this earth and knows exactly what they're thinking. it's annoying.

no, i talk in rude generalizations based on the weight of my experience and observations. i've never said that everyone inevitably acts the way i've described. just that these are my general impressions of what is most likely to occur in these situations. if you don't like it or are annoyed by it, you are free to ignore it or tell me why you think it's wrong and what you think is a better explanation. but don't misrepresent my points or intentions.

prism

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

I think soulsinging's got a fair point.

(Going off the subject slightly). Have you ever changed a nappy? Why do you do it? Because you don't want to put up with the smell? Or because YOU would feel bad if your child were unhappy? It's just worth thinking about!

I have changed thousands and thousands of diapers. those of my own two kids and those of the kids that I took care of when I did daycare. of course I would feel bad to see a kid unhappy because of a dirty diaper.
but yet again how is it selfish to change a child's diaper for them not to feel unhappy? you change the kid's diaper, the kid feels better, neither you or the kid or anyone else around has to put up with the smell anymore, so everyone feels better. I don't think that it's selfish of me to change that kid's diaper anymore than I think that it's selfish of the child to need their diaper changed

deadnothingbetter

soulsinging wrote:

this is exactly my point and what i've been saying. what's the problem?



no, i talk in rude generalizations based on the weight of my experience and observations. i've never said that everyone inevitably acts the way i've described. just that these are my general impressions of what is most likely to occur in these situations. if you don't like it or are annoyed by it, you are free to ignore it or tell me you think it's wrong. but don't misrepresent my points or intentions.

i think what greenteadisease is trying to do is stop you from spreading the word out cause she likes her "men" nice and well-behaved.

catefrances

soulsinging wrote:

no, im waiting until i can get out of our lease easily

and in the meantime, im raising the problems enough to either give her time to change and us to work it out or least ensure it won't be a total shock when i call it quits so she's not blindsided like i was once. yeah, it sucks for her. but it's the best solution i can come up with.

well does she thinks everything is kosher between the two of you? or do you have an inkling that perhaps she feels the same way you do and might just be waiting for you to bring it up?

soulsinging

catefrances wrote:

well does she thinks everything is kosher between the two of you? or do you have an inkling that perhaps she feels the same way you do and might just be waiting for you to bring it up?

i have brought it up repeatedly. she knows things aren't kosher, though i think she doesn't care or figures she can just live with mediocre.

MattCameronKicksButt

prism wrote:

I have changed thousands and thousands of diapers. those of my own two kids and those of the kids that I took care of when I did daycare. of course I would feel bad to see a kid unhappy because of a dirty diaper.
but yet again how is it selfish to change a child's diaper for them not to feel unhappy? you change the kid's diaper, the kid feels better, neither you or the kid or anyone else around has to put up with the smell anymore, so everyone feels better. I don't think that it's selfish of me to change that kid's diaper anymore than I think that it's selfish of the child to need their diaper changed

Alright, well, I still disagree with you but I can't be bothered to argue. Maybe tomorrow. Grrrrr.

catefrances

soulsinging wrote:

i have brought it up repeatedly. she knows things aren't kosher, though i think she doesn't care or figures she can just live with mediocre.

well then if there's no spark and no fire and she knows this and worse, she's okay with it, then take the money and run i say.

soulsinging

catefrances wrote:

well then if there's no spark and no fire and she knows this and worse, she's okay with it, then take the money and run i say.

if i leave before the lease is up, i wont be taking any money

catefrances

soulsinging wrote:

if i leave before the lease is up, i wont be taking any money

so tell her, once the lease it up youre outta there and away from her.