well you don't say it like that...when she mentions this guy, you say, well he's nuts, any man should be lining up to be with you (or whatever) or like "I'd kill to meet a girl like you" (or whatever) you know what I mean? Like you drop a signal like that. at least to start and then you've planted the seed...
I agree.
The signals I got were weird.... He gave me the finger while I was talking to this guy at the bar, and then 2 days later a message asking if I realized what that guy wanted from me.
From the girl's side I'll tell you.... That works.
"The joke in your language won't come out the same" (Tom Petty)
I'm no dude! Dudette!
no, it's not all good. becos if you drop some limp "i really like you" words on her, even if she DID like you, she WON'T anymore. you're no longer a challenge. you've tipped your hand. and she knows you're desperate enough that you're willing to say crap like that to her so she knows she can fall back on you. even if she goes for it, you've lost all "hand" in the relationship from the very beginning and she will use you like a toy and already start looking elsewhere.
you either get physical with her one night out of the blue, or tell her flat out you're taking her on a date and tell her when and where to show up. or if she calls to ask why you've been avoiding, you say it's becos you don't want to listen to her whine about other guys and then YOU get the hand if she gets apologetic. she needs to know you're a man who's not going to play women's head games or let her jerk you around with subtle jealousy games.
dude... you're totally right. that's exactly what i'll do.
i know some of these girls on here want to do what helps but in reality it doesn't help for a guy to be "honest" by telling them your "true" feelings. i appreciate the girls who are dropping the advice but i doubt that will ever make them go out with me. cause i've done it before and it always failed.
but i like your second paragraph, soul... you just confirmed what i had in mind and i agree with you completely.
This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
The truth is...I want a "nice guy". I won't have it any other way.
the truth is you'll never be emotionally attracted to a nice guy. i bet you you've had a number of guys throwing you signals from left and right trying to go out with you by being nice but they all flew over your head without realizing it.
This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
I agree.
The signals I got were weird.... He gave me the finger while I was talking to this guy at the bar, and then 2 days later a message asking if I realized what that guy wanted from me.
From the girl's side I'll tell you.... That works.
yup, it does.
you know what, there was a guy in my grad program I had quite the crush on. one night I thought he was kinda coming on to me (though he was pretty shy) and I had JUST started dating someone (like one date at this point so it didn't matter) and I [instinctively] mentioned it to him...it was like I wanted him to know that I was in demand and if he wanted me he'd better make a move kinda thing...he didn't seem to pick up on it...but anyway, that's what we girls tend to do.
i bet you you've had a number of guys throwing you signals from left and right trying to go out with you by being nice but they all flew over your head without realizing it.
LOL. Not that I know of (which may prove your point...).
But, I find it offensive that you think I wouldn't be "emotionally attracted" to someone who was nice. That's total and complete bull!
This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper
you know what, there was a guy in my grad program I had quite the crush on. one night I thought he was kinda coming on to me (though he was pretty shy) and I had JUST started dating someone (like one date at this point so it didn't matter) and I [instinctively] mentioned it to him...it was like I wanted him to know that I was in demand and if he wanted me he'd better make a move kinda thing...he didn't seem to pick up on it...but anyway, that's what we girls tend to do.
Of course! haha, and it all goes back to the nice person thing, "I'm a good girl who doesn't go out with just anyone and I'm always available" against "This guy asked me out and that other guy keeps calling me" I'm gonna go with the second one and as you said, let them know they better do something cause we're not gonna b waiting for them for ever. (Even if most of the time pretty much everything we do we do it for them 2 react, lol)
"The joke in your language won't come out the same" (Tom Petty)
I'm no dude! Dudette!
well you don't say it like that...when she mentions this guy, you say, well he's nuts, any man should be lining up to be with you (or whatever) or like "I'd kill to meet a girl like you" (or whatever) you know what I mean? Like you drop a signal like that. at least to start and then you've planted the seed...
i dunno... those are exactly the kinds of lines i used to use before when girls would blow me off. they never ended up with me.
This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
i dunno... those are exactly the kinds of lines i used to use before when girls would blow me off. they never ended up with me.
well i mean i don't guarantee it's gonna work in all situations, but there's a hight possibility that's what she's looking for. and if she's not, well no harm, no foul.
LOL. Not that I know of (which may prove your point...).
But, I find it offensive that you think I wouldn't be "emotionally attracted" to someone who was nice. That's total and complete bull!
Actually, that's total and complete psychology. it's like reverse-psychology with women. a guy has to think they're not interested in a girl to get her to be interested in them, when of course the guy IS really interested in her.
think of two kids. a guy and a girl playing in the playground. the guy will usually pull the girls hair and go running and the girl will follow after him. it's the way they play. it's kinda the same way in the dating world. guys have to, figuratively speaking, pull girls hairs sometimes to get her to run after you. otherwise, if the boy acts nice all the time the girl will do whatever as she pleases, even to breaking his heart.
it's also natural that a girl denies it. so there's no way out of it. it doesn't mean you'll have to end up with a dick.
unless they were complete hotties like a brad pitt or johnny depp, a guy has to have a little cockiness to get himself with a girl.
i'm not suggesting that guys have to be dicks for women to fall for them... but what i am suggesting that wussy behavior coming from a guy will never ever ever ever attract a woman. i learned that the hard way. being nice can be a soft and wussy behavior that will lead girls away.
This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
Actually, that's total and complete psychology. it's like reverse-psychology with women. a guy has to think they're not interested in a girl to get her to be interested in them, when of course the guy IS really interested in her.
think of two kids. a guy and a girl playing in the playground. the guy will usually pull the girls hair and go running and the girl will follow after him. it's the way they play. it's kinda the same way in the dating world. guys have to, figuratively speaking, pull girls hairs sometimes to get her to run after you. otherwise, if the boy acts nice all the time the girl will do whatever as she pleases, even to breaking his heart.
it's also natural that a girl denies it. so there's no way out of it. it doesn't mean you'll have to end up with a dick.
unless they were complete hotties like a brad pitt or johnny depp, a guy has to have a little cockiness to get himself with a girl.
i'm not suggesting that guys have to be dicks for women to fall for them... but what i am suggesting that wussy behavior coming from a guy will never ever ever ever attract a woman. i learned that the hard way. being nice can be a soft and wussy behavior that will lead girls away.
I'll agree with you on the wussy behavior factor. I certainly wouldn't want to be with a man if he was a wuss. I knew a guy who was scared of everything...and I can't tell you what a turn-off that was. I am the first to admit that I am looking for a man to be a "Protector"...someone I can feel safe with...but in no way does that have anything to do with being cocky.
Sidenote: Arrogance is a COMPLETE turn-off to me.
This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper
well i mean i don't guarantee it's gonna work in all situations, but there's a hight possibility that's what she's looking for. and if she's not, well no harm, no foul.
well, i would like for it to work in my case. or maybe not i don't know... i'll see how it works out.
This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
I'll agree with you on the wussy behavior factor. I certainly wouldn't want to be with a man if he was a wuss. I knew a guy who was scared of everything...and I can't tell you what a turn-off that was. I am the first to admit that I am looking for a man to be a "Protector"...someone I can feel safe with...but in no way does that have anything to do with being cocky.
Sidenote: Arrogance is a COMPLETE turn-off to me.
then you're speaking on a whole different level that has nothing to do with this particular conversation.
what you just described is what most guys would like to be for a woman. and i'm not implying that men are superior to women... cause i would agree those kinds of guys are extreeeeemely hard to find.
see, i once had a huge huge crush on a girl. and all our friends new it. when they asked her what she thought about me all she would say was, "well, he's a nice guy." and those were the most dreaded and feared words for me. cause in this case, what she meant by nice didn't mean that she meant I was a "protector" or someone she'd feel safe with. it just meant that i was a "nice little fella" who would open the doors for her anytime i had the chance or the one who wouldn't forget her birthdays or open my ears and mind everytime she was feeling down and depressed. i finally figured that being that kind of "nice" was not working out for me. and i also realized that being that kind of "nice" never works for any man alive. period. in fact, i'd even say that it wouldn't even work for a girl to be that kind of "nice" either. but then what mostly matters to guys is the physical attraction cause guys mainly function on a more physical level.
This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
dead...I'm actually really bothered that you feel that way.
well, i'm pretty bothered that i feel that way too.
when i started dating there was no script, manual or blueprint that i could follow by. i only went out there thinking like the movies taught you or how girls would talk about how much they loved flowers and liked for guys to be romantic.... little did i know that it only works when you're a hottie like brad pitt. (althoough, keep in mind. i'm still a hottie )
so when i did go out and start buying flowers and being romantic to the girls that i was completely fallen for... all i got was a cold dry feeling inside my belly. it was horrible.
today, i'm still trying to make that difference. the girls i've gone out with, i would say that i wasn't completely nice to them... nor did i overwhelm them with complements or kiss up to them. those were the girls that actually chased me around.
so you can't deny a guy who thinks this works above everything else when it is ACTUALLY what has been working the most for him so far. and keep in mind, i'm not insulting, degrading or cheating on girls. i'm treating as equals, like i'd treat any other girl, or any other friend. i've learned that treating lesser attractive girls as the other more attractive girls will make girls in general have a greater and more respectful perspective on you.
This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
today, i'm still trying to make that difference. the girls i've gone out with, i would say that i wasn't completely nice to them... nor did i overwhelm them with complements or kiss up to them.
Don't you think it's really effed up and backwards that if you aren't nice to a girl that you are attracted to?? What is wrong with this world?
This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper
Well, then I'm shit out of luck. All I really have going for me is my personality.
haha i knew you'd come up with something like that.
it's a true notion that women have on men. they all think with their "dicks". but it's not true in every case. men like me, for instance, (:cool: ) have the capability of controlling their sexual and perverted tendancies.
usually when a guy matures and realizes that it's best for him to settle down he'll come to his senses to realize that what matters most is the personality.
with all that being said, i'm sure you're a very beautiful girl.
This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
haha i knew you'd come up with something like that.
it's a true notion that women have on men. they all think with their "dicks". but it's not true in every case. men like me, for instance, (:cool: ) have the capability of controlling their sexual and perverted tendancies.
usually when a guy matures and realizes that it's best for him to settle down he'll come to his senses to realize that what matters most is the personality.
with all that being said, i'm sure you're a very beautiful girl.
I'm *honestly* not. And, I truly didn't say that to elicit compliments...
But, with your line of thinking, my situation is hopeless...and I really don't want to believe that.
This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper
Don't you think it's really effed up and backwards that if you aren't nice to a girl that you are attracted to?? What is wrong with this world?
all i know is that being that overly nice guy who complements you and worships your every step will never turn you on. what will turn you on, is probably that "good" man that you speak about who is stern, stable, masculine, assertive, confident, exciting, humorous and whatnot. i'll admit... us guys, we have a hard time being that person to women. so men aren't nowhere ahead of women.
but right now, for guys being a nice wussy guy will never get them anywhere.
This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
all i know is that being that overly nice guy who complements you and worships your every step will never turn you on. what will turn you on, is probably that "good" man that you speak about who is stern, stable, masculine, assertive, confident, exciting, humorous and whatnot.
Why can't a guy be both? Because that's EXACTLY what I'm looking for. (Well, not the worships-my-every-step guy....)
This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper
Honestly, I'd rather just fuck the motherfucker. Perhaps later i'd ask what she thought of me, and what she thought of this...but maybe i'd ask her what she wanted for breakfast..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
Be yourself or else you will come off as "too nice."
Be a gentleman and hold the door but don't agree with everything she says because you think it will make you like her.
Once you start going out of your way to be nice is when you look like a desperate pushover.
Buying her flowers cuz you know she had a bad day is nice.
Skipping a football game to go shopping with her is pathetic.
i say...fuck games and what you "should/should not" do. i'm one girl who hates them...and refuses to do any of the "typical" female psycho-bullshit.
just be up front of your intentions and how you feel, whatever they may be, from the start. it'll save a lot of trouble and hurt feelings in the long run.
sure it's difficult to hear the truth, but i think that anyone would appreciate it in the long run.
girls generally don't like "nice guys" for the above mentioned reasons...follow soulsinging's advice. tell her where to meet you for a date and go from there...it'd surely get my attention!!
my 2 cents. and i may be way out of context here...sorry.
and i'm sorry if i come off a bit militant?!!? didn't mean that at all
yes...i do feel like a human. i do not feel like a tree.
Comments
The signals I got were weird.... He gave me the finger while I was talking to this guy at the bar, and then 2 days later a message asking if I realized what that guy wanted from me.
From the girl's side I'll tell you.... That works.
I'm no dude! Dudette!
i know some of these girls on here want to do what helps but in reality it doesn't help for a guy to be "honest" by telling them your "true" feelings. i appreciate the girls who are dropping the advice but i doubt that will ever make them go out with me. cause i've done it before and it always failed.
but i like your second paragraph, soul... you just confirmed what i had in mind and i agree with you completely.
yup, it does.
you know what, there was a guy in my grad program I had quite the crush on. one night I thought he was kinda coming on to me (though he was pretty shy) and I had JUST started dating someone (like one date at this point so it didn't matter) and I [instinctively] mentioned it to him...it was like I wanted him to know that I was in demand and if he wanted me he'd better make a move kinda thing...he didn't seem to pick up on it...but anyway, that's what we girls tend to do.
LOL. Not that I know of (which may prove your point...).
But, I find it offensive that you think I wouldn't be "emotionally attracted" to someone who was nice. That's total and complete bull!
I'm no dude! Dudette!
well i mean i don't guarantee it's gonna work in all situations, but there's a hight possibility that's what she's looking for. and if she's not, well no harm, no foul.
In fact...I fell for someone STRICTLY because he was a good man.
think of two kids. a guy and a girl playing in the playground. the guy will usually pull the girls hair and go running and the girl will follow after him. it's the way they play. it's kinda the same way in the dating world. guys have to, figuratively speaking, pull girls hairs sometimes to get her to run after you. otherwise, if the boy acts nice all the time the girl will do whatever as she pleases, even to breaking his heart.
it's also natural that a girl denies it. so there's no way out of it. it doesn't mean you'll have to end up with a dick.
unless they were complete hotties like a brad pitt or johnny depp, a guy has to have a little cockiness to get himself with a girl.
i'm not suggesting that guys have to be dicks for women to fall for them... but what i am suggesting that wussy behavior coming from a guy will never ever ever ever attract a woman. i learned that the hard way. being nice can be a soft and wussy behavior that will lead girls away.
pancho villa was also a good man... but i'm willing to bet he wasn't nice.
it was those values that got women to fall for them, (which i'm assuming they had women).
my father is also a good man.... but i can tell you from right now he's not nice.
i think of myself as a good young and handsome
I'll agree with you on the wussy behavior factor. I certainly wouldn't want to be with a man if he was a wuss. I knew a guy who was scared of everything...and I can't tell you what a turn-off that was. I am the first to admit that I am looking for a man to be a "Protector"...someone I can feel safe with...but in no way does that have anything to do with being cocky.
Sidenote: Arrogance is a COMPLETE turn-off to me.
Again...wussy and "nice guy" are not interchangeable!!!!
I would give it a shot.
what you just described is what most guys would like to be for a woman. and i'm not implying that men are superior to women... cause i would agree those kinds of guys are extreeeeemely hard to find.
see, i once had a huge huge crush on a girl. and all our friends new it. when they asked her what she thought about me all she would say was, "well, he's a nice guy." and those were the most dreaded and feared words for me. cause in this case, what she meant by nice didn't mean that she meant I was a "protector" or someone she'd feel safe with. it just meant that i was a "nice little fella" who would open the doors for her anytime i had the chance or the one who wouldn't forget her birthdays or open my ears and mind everytime she was feeling down and depressed. i finally figured that being that kind of "nice" was not working out for me. and i also realized that being that kind of "nice" never works for any man alive. period. in fact, i'd even say that it wouldn't even work for a girl to be that kind of "nice" either. but then what mostly matters to guys is the physical attraction cause guys mainly function on a more physical level.
Well, then I'm shit out of luck. All I really have going for me is my personality.
when i started dating there was no script, manual or blueprint that i could follow by. i only went out there thinking like the movies taught you or how girls would talk about how much they loved flowers and liked for guys to be romantic.... little did i know that it only works when you're a hottie like brad pitt. (althoough, keep in mind. i'm still a hottie
so when i did go out and start buying flowers and being romantic to the girls that i was completely fallen for... all i got was a cold dry feeling inside my belly. it was horrible.
today, i'm still trying to make that difference. the girls i've gone out with, i would say that i wasn't completely nice to them... nor did i overwhelm them with complements or kiss up to them. those were the girls that actually chased me around.
so you can't deny a guy who thinks this works above everything else when it is ACTUALLY what has been working the most for him so far. and keep in mind, i'm not insulting, degrading or cheating on girls. i'm treating as equals, like i'd treat any other girl, or any other friend. i've learned that treating lesser attractive girls as the other more attractive girls will make girls in general have a greater and more respectful perspective on you.
Don't you think it's really effed up and backwards that if you aren't nice to a girl that you are attracted to?? What is wrong with this world?
it's a true notion that women have on men. they all think with their "dicks". but it's not true in every case. men like me, for instance, (:cool: ) have the capability of controlling their sexual and perverted tendancies.
usually when a guy matures and realizes that it's best for him to settle down he'll come to his senses to realize that what matters most is the personality.
with all that being said, i'm sure you're a very beautiful girl.
I'm *honestly* not. And, I truly didn't say that to elicit compliments...
But, with your line of thinking, my situation is hopeless...and I really don't want to believe that.
but right now, for guys being a nice wussy guy will never get them anywhere.
Why can't a guy be both? Because that's EXACTLY what I'm looking for. (Well, not the worships-my-every-step guy....)
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
Be a gentleman and hold the door but don't agree with everything she says because you think it will make you like her.
Once you start going out of your way to be nice is when you look like a desperate pushover.
Buying her flowers cuz you know she had a bad day is nice.
Skipping a football game to go shopping with her is pathetic.
I'm no dude! Dudette!
just be up front of your intentions and how you feel, whatever they may be, from the start. it'll save a lot of trouble and hurt feelings in the long run.
sure it's difficult to hear the truth, but i think that anyone would appreciate it in the long run.
girls generally don't like "nice guys" for the above mentioned reasons...follow soulsinging's advice. tell her where to meet you for a date and go from there...it'd surely get my attention!!
my 2 cents. and i may be way out of context here...sorry.
and i'm sorry if i come off a bit militant?!!? didn't mean that at all
I agree about the flowers, cause well....I like flowers.
however, what if she loves to watch football and hates to go shopping?
angels share laughter
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