Question about girls
deadnothingbetter
Posts: 2,202
I've been speaking with a girl for a while now. She calls me or texts me almost every day. I really enjoy speaking with her. I've been out of the dating bandwagon for awhile now and now that we've been talking I would really like to date this girl.
The problem is she has a "friend" from Philly that she has a "crush" on. It's been a couple of times now that she mentions him. At first it didn't bother me at all and I would simply tease her about it, but we just got off the phone about 20 minutes ago and she said she had "mixed" emotions cause this guy told her that he was going on a date this weekend. It bothered me that she would tell me this, considering that we've been speaking for about a month now for almost every day. It's now feeling like she's calling me simply to "vent" out her her problems with me. I don't like it.
I don't want to tell her anything nor do I want to tell her how I feel about it. I've done it before in the past, and from experience it's never worked by telling girls what I feel.
So while she was telling me about how "sad," "happy" or as she described it "mixed" emotions I began to grow uninterested in the conversation. I know she noticed cause she asked, "what's wrong?" So I told her that nothing was wrong. She asked why I was quiet so I just responded and said, "I'm just listening." I tried changing the conversation and tried making her laugh but it wasn't working. I guess I was a little upset about it but was trying not to show it. She probably picked up on it... I'm not sure. All I told her was that I just want her to have a great time when she talks with me.
The reason it bothers me the most is because we always speak about going out on a date, and also considering that she calls me almost every day, I think if she were smart enough she would know it's probably not best to talk about the fellows she has a crush on. We've even made plans to go out this week.
I felt like dating her... I guess I still do but those things are not great to talk about when you're just beginning to like the person. So I'm not entirely sure what to do. I want to ignore her completely this whole weekend. If she calls or texts me I just want to ignore her. I'm even thinking of dating others. I'm not sure if that's the best thing I could do. Any suggestions?
The problem is she has a "friend" from Philly that she has a "crush" on. It's been a couple of times now that she mentions him. At first it didn't bother me at all and I would simply tease her about it, but we just got off the phone about 20 minutes ago and she said she had "mixed" emotions cause this guy told her that he was going on a date this weekend. It bothered me that she would tell me this, considering that we've been speaking for about a month now for almost every day. It's now feeling like she's calling me simply to "vent" out her her problems with me. I don't like it.
I don't want to tell her anything nor do I want to tell her how I feel about it. I've done it before in the past, and from experience it's never worked by telling girls what I feel.
So while she was telling me about how "sad," "happy" or as she described it "mixed" emotions I began to grow uninterested in the conversation. I know she noticed cause she asked, "what's wrong?" So I told her that nothing was wrong. She asked why I was quiet so I just responded and said, "I'm just listening." I tried changing the conversation and tried making her laugh but it wasn't working. I guess I was a little upset about it but was trying not to show it. She probably picked up on it... I'm not sure. All I told her was that I just want her to have a great time when she talks with me.
The reason it bothers me the most is because we always speak about going out on a date, and also considering that she calls me almost every day, I think if she were smart enough she would know it's probably not best to talk about the fellows she has a crush on. We've even made plans to go out this week.
I felt like dating her... I guess I still do but those things are not great to talk about when you're just beginning to like the person. So I'm not entirely sure what to do. I want to ignore her completely this whole weekend. If she calls or texts me I just want to ignore her. I'm even thinking of dating others. I'm not sure if that's the best thing I could do. Any suggestions?
This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
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And of course she picked up on it. Girls know when a guy is quiet on the phone that something is wrong, same for girls too. If they are quiet and give you one word answers then there is most likely no real connection there. She was probably just being nice or sees you as just a friend.
So basically you're in the dreaded "friend zone" now. It sucks, but it happens to all of us my friend.
Does this girl live near you? Do you call and text everyday but not hang out?
I got into the friend zone once and didn't know how it happened either. I was being too nice, sometimes girls take that the wrong way.
Sounds like a good idea to me. Typical of a guy. :rolleyes: You should both do yourselves a favour and find someone likeminded.
at least she picked up on me being "upset" about it rather than me actually fucking pouring out a bitter cup on her as she would regretably come to realize.
yeah we live in the same area.... we've only seen each other a couple times. why?
Just wondering because if you just talked and texted everyday I was thinking that there was maybe some distance between you guys. You said you were speaking with her but didn't mention if you guys had hung out a lot or not. So I was just wondering if it was kinda of a long distance relationship type situation.
As Snoop Dogg once said: "I lay it out, for ya'll to play it out" So basically be blunt with her while not being a dick or super nice. Stay neutral and say: "I like you and the guy you like doesn't like you." "Let's do this"
Who knows, maybe the way she sees you will eventually change. Or if not, at least you got a decent friend out of it.
No sweat. Glad I could maybe help you get some action
It doesn't sound like things are going great anyway so you may as well just be honest with her.
What could go wrong? You said you were thinking about ditching her as a friend anyway. She might not speak to you again or she might think about it for a couple of weeks and then think 'hmmm. Actually, I quite like him'.
That's just what I'd prefer though. Everyone's different, of course.
my ex-girlfriend and i ended on horrible horrible horrible terms. she never really took me seriously... so one night we'd gone out with her friends and she was messing around with another dude. so i blew her off and never called, wrote or saw her again. after two months she emailed me to say hi and to apologize. to this day i haven't gotten back with her. so you can understand why i am the way i am... i don't want to run the risk of meeting another horrible person like her and have her fuck with my head that way.
i'd totally like to date this girl but i'm not sure being honest with her would do any good. except maybe say, let's go on a date. and i definitely don't wanna tell her taht it pissed me off that she spoke about that guy.
It's up to you then but I personally always think honesty is the best policy.
Yup honesty is the best policy IMO.
Well best of luck to you. Yea maybe try the ignore thing and see how that goes. Some girls like that and the feel of a challenge.
You sound like the hopeless romantic type. You get to know this girl for almost a month now and furthest you've gotten to getting intimate with her is "talking about going on a date."
Also, you're already planning how to shield yourself from the humiliation of being rejected by beating her to the silent treatment.
The key is to stop thinking of it in terms of it being a relationship. That's what women do. Your job is to think with your penis. If you don't think with your penis, then your relationships will never work.
Now, you're probably thinking about how low down and disgusting to objectify women like that. But, you are the one in this ugly predicament. Meanwhile, sexist pigs across america are getting laid left and right. Eventually they come across someone that means something to them, but they come to that realization only after going through all the bases which includes dating.
It sounds like you're convinced you have feelings for this girl and I venture to guess you haven't even gotten to first base with her. I guarantee you the guy that she likes over in wherever is the type of guy who tries to get in her pants every chance he gets. I'm not advocating that you throw yourself on her. I'm saying you should lean over and give her a smooch and tell her that she's hot.
When she brings up so and so, act jealous and tell her how badly you want to kick his ass up and down the block.
This kind of behavior will make her feel sexy, which is how women like to feel deep down. Of course, they never admit to that; you wouldn't either if you were a woman.
It's like those moments leading up to a fist fight. The other guy has said some shit and you've said some shit too. Pretty soon if you don't act, he's going to get the first punch, which could do some real damage if you're not paying attention. If your gut tells you the situation is coming to a head, you start swinging and hope for the best.
It's either that or walk away. This girl is either into you or she isn't. If you don't act fast or at least walk away now, she's going to get the first punch, in which case you'll be nursing a bruised ego for days or even years to come.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
You're right, there.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
I thought we would be perfect, and i could really see us growing old. I wasn't about to cut the boyfriends grass cause i was friends with him, not great friends, but friends none the less.
Soon they broke up and i was just waiting a while because i didnt want to pounce while the iron was still hot. I was out one night (a few weeks after the break up) and this girls best friend told me that Sam had a crush on me. This was an unbelievable feeling, knowing that this girl that i liked/loved felt the same way about me. I went to try and find her only to be told that she had just left.
Being not an overly confident person especially when trying to chat a girl up, I decided to wait till the next time I saw her and no doubt i would of had a couple of drinks to ease my nerves.
The next time i saw her was about a month later, I organised for a group of us to go out. Right when i asked her if she wanted to go for a walk, getting ready to ask the question, her friend tagged along and said "Did you know Sam has a new boyfriend?" It put a spanner in the works and I thought that it would just be temporary. I met the guy, and he was really nice, and had a weird sense of humour just like I, and he was sharing the same kind of jokes that we would share. It kind of gave me comfort because i was thinking I fit into her category type thing.....
About 3 months later, I was out with my mates, and they all suspected that i liked her, though i only confirmed it with 1 mate, but someone said "Did u hear samantha is pregnant?" I have never felt my heart drop as low as that, and I spent the weekend thinking that my dreams of being with her are all but faded. On the following monday, i got a txt from her confirming what i dreaded.
About 3 years on she has a beautiful girl (2) and very nice partner (father of the baby)
3 years on for me, and it is still the only girl i have ever loved. I have had a few girlfriends, a few flings, but nothing or no one can compare.
I was listening to Black yesterday, and it made me so depressed. "I know some day you'll have a beautiful life, i know you'll be a star, in somebody elses sky, but why? why? Why cant it be mine?"
This is a long post, but mate if i can give you any advice, don't make the same mistake i did, because if she slips away you may not be able to catch her. good luck
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You moved too slow to get in the fast lane.
She's gonna have to blow to hard on your embers to make you a fire.
Shes felt like snoozin while you were loosin.
I could go on, but carpe diem on that action bro.
You need to keep the heat to play the beat.
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
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