Question about girls

deadnothingbetter

I've been speaking with a girl for a while now. She calls me or texts me almost every day. I really enjoy speaking with her. I've been out of the dating bandwagon for awhile now and now that we've been talking I would really like to date this girl.

The problem is she has a "friend" from Philly that she has a "crush" on. It's been a couple of times now that she mentions him. At first it didn't bother me at all and I would simply tease her about it, but we just got off the phone about 20 minutes ago and she said she had "mixed" emotions cause this guy told her that he was going on a date this weekend. It bothered me that she would tell me this, considering that we've been speaking for about a month now for almost every day. It's now feeling like she's calling me simply to "vent" out her her problems with me. I don't like it.

I don't want to tell her anything nor do I want to tell her how I feel about it. I've done it before in the past, and from experience it's never worked by telling girls what I feel.

So while she was telling me about how "sad," "happy" or as she described it "mixed" emotions I began to grow uninterested in the conversation. I know she noticed cause she asked, "what's wrong?" So I told her that nothing was wrong. She asked why I was quiet so I just responded and said, "I'm just listening." I tried changing the conversation and tried making her laugh but it wasn't working. I guess I was a little upset about it but was trying not to show it. She probably picked up on it... I'm not sure. All I told her was that I just want her to have a great time when she talks with me.

The reason it bothers me the most is because we always speak about going out on a date, and also considering that she calls me almost every day, I think if she were smart enough she would know it's probably not best to talk about the fellows she has a crush on. We've even made plans to go out this week.

I felt like dating her... I guess I still do but those things are not great to talk about when you're just beginning to like the person. So I'm not entirely sure what to do. I want to ignore her completely this whole weekend. If she calls or texts me I just want to ignore her. I'm even thinking of dating others. I'm not sure if that's the best thing I could do. Any suggestions?

MattCameronKicksButt

I'm so glad I'm not a guy.

dontloseyourheat

Sounds to me like you found your way into the dreaded FRIEND ZONE.

South of Seattle

I would go out on a date dude. If you keep falling for her like this you're gonna be in too deep. If Soulsinging was here he'd tell you to act like a dick and the girl will like you and there's probably about an 80% chance of that working in all reality.

And of course she picked up on it. Girls know when a guy is quiet on the phone that something is wrong, same for girls too. If they are quiet and give you one word answers then there is most likely no real connection there. She was probably just being nice or sees you as just a friend.

So basically you're in the dreaded "friend zone" now. It sucks, but it happens to all of us my friend.

Does this girl live near you? Do you call and text everyday but not hang out?

deadnothingbetter

dontloseyourheat wrote:

Sounds to me like you found your way into the dreaded FRIEND ZONE.

yeah, that's what i'm thinking. so now i'm really considering tossing this girl out completely.... not sure how i got into the friend zone though. i'm really pissed right now.

South of Seattle

deadnothingbetter wrote:

yeah, that's what i'm thinking. so now i'm really considering tossing this girl out completely.... not sure how i got into the friend zone though. i'm really pissed right now.

I got into the friend zone once and didn't know how it happened either. I was being too nice, sometimes girls take that the wrong way.

MattCameronKicksButt

deadnothingbetter wrote:

yeah, that's what i'm thinking. so now i'm really considering tossing this girl out completely.... not sure how i got into the friend zone though. i'm really pissed right now.

Sounds like a good idea to me. Typical of a guy. :rolleyes: You should both do yourselves a favour and find someone likeminded.

deadnothingbetter

South of Seattle wrote:

I would go out on a date dude. If you keep falling for her like this you're gonna be in too deep. If Soulsinging was here he'd tell you to act like a dick and the girl will like you and there's probably about an 80% chance of that working in all reality.

And of course she picked up on it. Girls know when a guy is quiet on the phone that something is wrong, same for girls too. If they are quiet and give you one word answers then there is most likely no real connection there. She was probably just being nice or sees you as just a friend.

So basically you're in the dreaded "friend zone" now. It sucks, but it happens to all of us my friend.

Does this girl live near you? Do you call and text everyday but not hang out?

dude... the only thing soulsinging and i ever agree on is acting like a dick to a woman. and that's how i typically am. i'm not sure where i went wrong though.

at least she picked up on me being "upset" about it rather than me actually fucking pouring out a bitter cup on her as she would regretably come to realize.

yeah we live in the same area.... we've only seen each other a couple times. why?

deadnothingbetter

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

Sounds like a good idea to me. Typical of a guy. :rolleyes: You should both do yourselves a favour and find someone likeminded.

well... i'm not trying to dog on girls here. that's why i'm on here... and if any girl would be considerate enough please explain whats the best thing is for me to do. i'd still like to date this girl. but right now it looks like my only option is to be a dick.

South of Seattle

deadnothingbetter wrote:

dude... the only thing soulsinging and i ever agree on is acting like a dick to a woman. and that's how i typically am. i'm not sure where i went wrong though.

at least she picked up on me being "upset" about it rather than me actually fucking pouring out a bitter cup on her as she would regretably come to realize.

yeah we live in the same area.... we've only seen each other a couple times. why?

Just wondering because if you just talked and texted everyday I was thinking that there was maybe some distance between you guys. You said you were speaking with her but didn't mention if you guys had hung out a lot or not. So I was just wondering if it was kinda of a long distance relationship type situation.

deadnothingbetter

South of Seattle wrote:

I got into the friend zone once and didn't know how it happened either. I was being too nice, sometimes girls take that the wrong way.

yeah being nice would typically lead to that. but man... i just don't know where exactly i was being a "nice" guy. i always pick on her and tease her all the time... in a semi-kinda dick way... but not like an asshole just in a fun way.

deadnothingbetter

South of Seattle wrote:

Just wondering because if you just talked and texted everyday I was thinking that there was maybe some distance between you guys. You said you were speaking with her but didn't mention if you guys had hung out a lot or not. So I was just wondering if it was kinda of a long distance relationship type situation.

no... the dude she was talking about is the one that she's having a "long distance relationship" with. he's not into her though. i live a few miles away from her. but i'm beginning to not be into her either.

South of Seattle

deadnothingbetter wrote:

no... the dude she was talking about is the one that she's having a "long distance relationship" with. he's not into her though. i live a few miles away from her. but i'm beginning to not be into her either.

As Snoop Dogg once said: "I lay it out, for ya'll to play it out" So basically be blunt with her while not being a dick or super nice. Stay neutral and say: "I like you and the guy you like doesn't like you." "Let's do this"

dontloseyourheat

You already put some work in, why not just keep doing what you are doing.

Who knows, maybe the way she sees you will eventually change. Or if not, at least you got a decent friend out of it.

deadnothingbetter

South of Seattle wrote:

As Snoop Dogg once said: "I lay it out, for ya'll to play it out" So basically be blunt with her while not being a dick or super nice. Stay neutral and say: "I like you and the guy you like doesn't like you." "Let's do this"

totally... that's exactly what i'm looking for. thanks dude. very lighthearted but a little aggressive at once. thanks.

South of Seattle

deadnothingbetter wrote:

totally... that's exactly what i'm looking for. thanks dude. very lighthearted but a little aggressive at once. thanks.

No sweat. Glad I could maybe help you get some action

deadnothingbetter

dontloseyourheat wrote:

You already put some work in, why not just keep doing what you are doing.

Who knows, maybe the way she sees you will eventually change. Or if not, at least you got a decent friend out of it.

yeah but i don't wanna be mr. nice guy... if i'm a be a friend... i'll be more of an acquaintance that she'll hear from every now and then who's dating other hotties.

MattCameronKicksButt

deadnothingbetter wrote:

well... i'm not trying to dog on girls here. that's why i'm on here... and if any girl would be considerate enough please explain whats the best thing is for me to do. i'd still like to date this girl. but right now it looks like my only option is to be a dick.

It doesn't sound like things are going great anyway so you may as well just be honest with her.

What could go wrong? You said you were thinking about ditching her as a friend anyway. She might not speak to you again or she might think about it for a couple of weeks and then think 'hmmm. Actually, I quite like him'.

That's just what I'd prefer though. Everyone's different, of course.

deadnothingbetter

South of Seattle wrote:

No sweat. Glad I could maybe help you get some action

that's what it's all about.

deadnothingbetter

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

It doesn't sound like things are going great anyway so you may as well just be honest with her.

What could go wrong? You said you were thinking about ditching her as a friend anyway. She might not speak to you again or she might think about it for a couple of weeks and then think 'hmmm. Actually, I quite like him'.

That's just what I'd prefer though. Everyone's different, of course.

you mean you prefer that i ditch her as a friend? or prefer me being honest with her?

my ex-girlfriend and i ended on horrible horrible horrible terms. she never really took me seriously... so one night we'd gone out with her friends and she was messing around with another dude. so i blew her off and never called, wrote or saw her again. after two months she emailed me to say hi and to apologize. to this day i haven't gotten back with her. so you can understand why i am the way i am... i don't want to run the risk of meeting another horrible person like her and have her fuck with my head that way.

i'd totally like to date this girl but i'm not sure being honest with her would do any good. except maybe say, let's go on a date. and i definitely don't wanna tell her taht it pissed me off that she spoke about that guy.

MattCameronKicksButt

deadnothingbetter wrote:

you mean you prefer that i ditch her as a friend? or prefer me being honest with her?

my ex-girlfriend and i ended on horrible horrible horrible terms. she never really took me seriously... so one night we'd gone out with her friends and she was messing around with another dude. so i blew her off and never called, wrote or saw her again. after two months she emailed me to say hi and to apologize. to this day i haven't gotten back with her. so you can understand why i am the way i am... i don't want to run the risk of meeting another horrible person like her and have her fuck with my head that way.

i'd totally like to date this girl but i'm not sure being honest with her would do any good. except maybe say, let's go on a date. and i definitely don't wanna tell her taht it pissed me off that she spoke about that guy.

It's up to you then but I personally always think honesty is the best policy.