Question about girls

dontloseyourheat

prism wrote:

I agree about the flowers, cause well....I like flowers.

however, what if she loves to watch football and hates to go shopping?

Well hang onto her cause those ones are hard to find!

PaulJam

pjfan31 wrote:

I hope she doesnt think ur gay.... But I was in a similar position about 5 yrs ago, I liked this girl Samantha, and we talked we laughed, the only thing stopping me was her boyfriend. It was strange but without even going out with her or sharing an intimate moment with her, i fell in Love with her.

I thought we would be perfect, and i could really see us growing old. I wasn't about to cut the boyfriends grass cause i was friends with him, not great friends, but friends none the less.

Soon they broke up and i was just waiting a while because i didnt want to pounce while the iron was still hot. I was out one night (a few weeks after the break up) and this girls best friend told me that Sam had a crush on me. This was an unbelievable feeling, knowing that this girl that i liked/loved felt the same way about me. I went to try and find her only to be told that she had just left.

Being not an overly confident person especially when trying to chat a girl up, I decided to wait till the next time I saw her and no doubt i would of had a couple of drinks to ease my nerves.

The next time i saw her was about a month later, I organised for a group of us to go out. Right when i asked her if she wanted to go for a walk, getting ready to ask the question, her friend tagged along and said "Did you know Sam has a new boyfriend?" It put a spanner in the works and I thought that it would just be temporary. I met the guy, and he was really nice, and had a weird sense of humour just like I, and he was sharing the same kind of jokes that we would share. It kind of gave me comfort because i was thinking I fit into her category type thing.....

About 3 months later, I was out with my mates, and they all suspected that i liked her, though i only confirmed it with 1 mate, but someone said "Did u hear samantha is pregnant?" I have never felt my heart drop as low as that, and I spent the weekend thinking that my dreams of being with her are all but faded. On the following monday, i got a txt from her confirming what i dreaded.

About 3 years on she has a beautiful girl (2) and very nice partner (father of the baby)

3 years on for me, and it is still the only girl i have ever loved. I have had a few girlfriends, a few flings, but nothing or no one can compare.

I was listening to Black yesterday, and it made me so depressed. "I know some day you'll have a beautiful life, i know you'll be a star, in somebody elses sky, but why? why? Why cant it be mine?"

This is a long post, but mate if i can give you any advice, don't make the same mistake i did, because if she slips away you may not be able to catch her. good luck

that is absolutely gutting. I feel for you on that one.

PaulJam

soulsinging wrote:

yeah, she had your name, remember?

i've given as good as i've gotten though. it's a dirty game all around.

it is, yeah. you gotta play dirty.

lalalalaaaaaaaa

deadnothingbetter wrote:

what will turn you on, is probably that "good" man that you speak about who is stern, stable, masculine, assertive, confident, exciting, humorous and whatnot.

Hey, stop talking about me.

soulsinging

catefrances wrote:

please do yourself and all of us a favour conor and go find a woman who truly lights your fire. maybe then you'lll stop bitching to us about 'chicks'.

that's not really doing my former best friend and current roommate any favors though. and it does me no favors to totally fuck over a girl i currently live with. but dont worry. ill get there. once the lease is up and im so distant she'll be relieved to see me go... i'll be gone

AmentsChick

soulsinging wrote:

that's not really doing my former best friend and current roommate any favors though. and it does me no favors to totally fuck over a girl i currently live with. but dont worry. ill get there. once the lease is up and im so distant she'll be relieved to see me go... i'll be gone

Am I the only one who wonders what you're like in real life? My guess....you're probably a schmoozer...someone that truly has charm! It wouldn't surprise me at all!

MattCameronKicksButt

soulsinging wrote:

you needed this thread to know you are nothing but sex to us?

What WAS I thinking? Lol

AmentsChick

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

What WAS I thinking? Lol

Now now...don't be cheeky!

GraySaturday

AmentsChick wrote:

Yup...and I've dated their leader.

thats so weird, we've dated the same guy!

soulsinging

AmentsChick wrote:

I'm *honestly* not. And, I truly didn't say that to elicit compliments...

But, with your line of thinking, my situation is hopeless...and I really don't want to believe that.

not hopeless. but fact is, gorgeous people have options. they can afford to wait. who are the nice guys? usually average looking guys who try to make up for it by being sweet. who are the girls who want nice guys? usually average looking girls who just want someone who will find them beautiful. but the fact is, if you're drop dead gorgeous, you have too many options to truly buy into that. you don't see hot men with ugly women, or ugly dudes with hot girls (unless there is money involved). if a guy is the whole package, attractive and firm and whatever else, he's got the ability to find a sweet girl WITH the great looks. if a girl is the whole package, nice and pretty, she can find a nice guy who's also firm and has the good looks. the bottom line is, good looks give you more options, period. doesn't mean lack of good looks is a hopeless situation, just that you're probably going to have to scrap that vision of the dream guy or girl in your head. you've got to play in your leagues. which means an average looking girl is going to have to accept a guy who's probably no brad pitt, and is therefore a bit insecure, not the strong and confident protector type until he's been through the wringer. an average looking guy is going to have to accept the fact that he's not going to get the head cheerleader or sex goddess unless she's on the rebound and you're in fallback position. them's the breaks.

soulsinging

AmentsChick wrote:

Am I the only one who wonders what you're like in real life? My guess....you're probably a schmoozer...someone that truly has charm! It wouldn't surprise me at all!

a few people round here have met me, but it was years ago and i was a bit more fucked up then. even so, i do think most who have met me like me. as long as they don't get to talking about women or relationships with me, cos then i tend to alarm people

GreenTeaDisease

soulsinging wrote:

not hopeless. but fact is, gorgeous people have options. they can afford to wait. who are the nice guys? usually average looking guys who try to make up for it by being sweet. who are the girls who want nice guys? usually average looking girls who just want someone who will find them beautiful. but the fact is, if you're drop dead gorgeous, you have too many options to truly buy into that. you don't see hot men with ugly women, or ugly dudes with hot girls (unless there is money involved). if a guy is the whole package, attractive and firm and whatever else, he's got the ability to find a sweet girl WITH the great looks. if a girl is the whole package, nice and pretty, she can find a nice guy who's also firm and has the good looks. the bottom line is, good looks give you more options, period. doesn't mean lack of good looks is a hopeless situation, just that you're probably going to have to scrap that vision of the dream guy or girl in your head. you've got to play in your leagues. which means an average looking girl is going to have to accept a guy who's probably no brad pitt, and is therefore a bit insecure, not the strong and confident protector type until he's been through the wringer. an average looking guy is going to have to accept the fact that he's not going to get the head cheerleader or sex goddess unless she's on the rebound and you're in fallback position. them's the breaks.

you spend far too much time thinking about this crap. you really have to stop putting every human being on this earth into some arbitrary, meaningless, stereotypical category YOU'VE created for the purpose of putting yourself and everyone else down. you've got a messed up view of not only relationships and women, but just people in general.

soulsinging

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

you spend far too much time thinking about this crap. you really have to stop putting every human being on this earth into some arbitrary, meaningless, stereotypical category YOU'VE created for the purpose of putting yourself and everyone else down. you've got a messed up view of not only relationships and women, but just people in general.

that took me 2 minutes to type and i didnt think about it at all

but you may be right about the last sentence. i basically think that in general human beings are largely selfish and shitty to each other. so i expect the worst and my general rule of thumb for human behavior is that more often than not, people will do what's best for them without regard to how it affects you or anyone else. it's not sadistic, they don't even realize it. they do it becos it's normal and natural to put yourself and your needs first. nothing messed up or putting down about that.

prism

dontloseyourheat wrote:

Well hang onto her cause those ones are hard to find!

nuh uh

I would've responded sooner but I've been watching football and absolutely dreading having to go shopping tomorrow

justam

soulsinging wrote:

that took me 2 minutes to type and i didnt think about it at all

but you may be right about the last sentence. i basically think that in general human beings are largely selfish and shitty to each other. so i expect the worst and my general rule of thumb for human behavior is that more often than not, people will do what's best for them without regard to how it affects you or anyone else. it's not sadistic, they don't even realize it. they do it becos it's normal and natural to put yourself and your needs first. nothing messed up or putting down about that.

I think only people who haven't been transformed by parenthood believe it's normal to always put themselves first.

prism

justam wrote:

I think only people who haven't been transformed by parenthood believe it's normal to always put themselves first.

exactly.


the people that have kids and put themselves first are the ones that end up either ditching their kid(s) or neglecting or abusing their kid(s) if they do stick around

chadwick

justam wrote:

I think only people who haven't been transformed by parenthood believe it's normal to always put themselves first.

im not a parent.
nor am i rare.
i don't believe it's normal to always put myself first.
nope, i don't roll that way.
selfish, im pritty far from selfish.
self-centered ego prick, no.

soulsinging

justam wrote:

I think only people who haven't been transformed by parenthood believe it's normal to always put themselves first.

you've got that backwards. only people who have been warped by parenthood think it's sensible to put someone else first.

and usually, if you're a parent, none of this applies anymore anyway. you're stuck with a kid for life and kids are totally dependent on you, so you've no choice but to do good by them (although even your argument there is weak given the number of thrown away kids and children in the foster care system becos the parents don't care about them, in fact, i'd say that is proof positive that people are inherently selfish becos a huge number of them can't even put their children ahead of their own wants). everyone else is potentially just passing through, so you're a fool to not consider how THEY fit into YOUR life rather than thinking about what you can do to make their life better. they don't need you and you don't need them, so why would either of you want to bend over backwards to please another?

even a selfless act in a strong relationship is founded on selfishness. you're not going to give up your career and move for your sig other unless you feel you get enough happiness or companionship out of the relationship to justify it. if not, you will tell them to go and walk away becos it is not worth sacrificing your happiness to help the other person. relationships are selfish. they about having your needs met. period.

MattCameronKicksButt

soulsinging wrote:

you've got that backwards. only people who have been warped by parenthood think it's sensible to put someone else first.

and usually, if you're a parent, none of this applies anymore anyway. you're stuck with a kid for life and kids are totally dependent on you, so you've no choice but to do good by them (although even your argument there is weak given the number of thrown away kids and children in the foster care system becos the parents don't care about them, in fact, i'd say that is proof positive that people are inherently selfish becos a huge number of them can't even put their children ahead of their own wants). everyone else is potentially just passing through, so you're a fool to not consider how THEY fit into YOUR life rather than thinking about what you can do to make their life better. they don't need you and you don't need them, so why would either of you want to bend over backwards to please another?

even a selfless act in a strong relationship is founded on selfishness. you're not going to give up your career and move for your sig other unless you feel you get enough happiness or companionship out of the relationship to justify it. if not, you will tell them to go and walk away becos it is not worth sacrificing your happiness to help the other person. relationships are selfish. they about having your needs met. period.

You're right. If you really want to pick life to pieces. Everything we do is selfish.

When my baby cries, I cuddle him because it makes him feel better-which makes me feel happy.

If he's bored, I play a game with him. It makes him laugh and then, again, it makes me happy. Humans are selfish. We'd prolly never survive as a species if we weren't a bit selfish.

prism

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

You're right. If you really want to pick life to pieces. Everything we do is selfish.

When my baby cries, I cuddle him because it makes him feel better-which makes me feel happy.

If he's bored, I play a game with him. It makes him laugh and then, again, it makes me happy. Humans are selfish. We'd prolly never survive as a species if we weren't a bit selfish.

yep. if caring about another person and trying to do things to make them feel better is selfish....then okay, I'm selfish. though I certainly don't ever think of any of my friends or family as being selfish whenever they do something nice for me