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I want to choke my coworker

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    normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool. Posts: 31,146
    well it was fun while it lasted...you paint a good picture lou....and I'm happy for your peace and quiet....you should buy a poster to celebrate....:)
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    kinetickinetic Posts: 148
    cutback wrote:
    well it was fun while it lasted...you paint a good picture lou....and I'm happy for your peace and quiet....you should buy a poster to celebrate....:)
    i'm gonna miss reading this. i'm pretty sure i've worked with this woman, too. then i killed her. i mean, mentally, of course.

    lou, you do paint a heck of a picture. thanks. buy two.
    When you're married, you'll understand the importance of fresh produce.
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    bostonloubostonlou Posts: 2,849
    glad some of you enjoyed the story

    i'm sure the new people will annoy me too... since anyone who interrupts my peace at work falls into this category :)


    long live stirrup pants and holiday sweaters!!
    Don't Believe Everything You Think
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    normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool. Posts: 31,146
    goodbye beatrice or henrietta or whatever the hell her name is.......stop being on of these people
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    corycory Posts: 736
    My penis is a negro named James and he enjoys drinking malt liquor and fucking white women.
    Revive the heart of the heartless...

    Why would you start was has no end?
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    bostonloubostonlou Posts: 2,849
    well.........

    i have a new neighbor


    i think things will be "ok"

    but this one is so nice it's kind of annoying

    she's always using people's names "hi lou, how are you today?"

    and she just spent 20 minutes on the phone crying because someone called and said their dog died



    i don't want to choke her... i just want her to be less nicey nicey ;)
    Don't Believe Everything You Think
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    corycory Posts: 736
    bostonlou wrote:
    well.........

    i have a new neighbor


    i think things will be "ok"

    but this one is so nice it's kind of annoying

    she's always using people's names "hi lou, how are you today?"

    and she just spent 20 minutes on the phone crying because someone called and said their dog died



    i don't want to choke her... i just want her to be less nicey nicey ;)


    When my neighbors are being nice and chatty, I use the ole' "You may not be aware of this, but I don't fucking care" technique. I developed this approach in my mid-20's when I learned to hate people. It will do wonders in saving you time. My neighbors love me, by the way.
    Revive the heart of the heartless...

    Why would you start was has no end?
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    even flow?even flow? Posts: 8,066
    bostonlou wrote:
    well.........

    i have a new neighbor


    i think things will be "ok"

    but this one is so nice it's kind of annoying

    she's always using people's names "hi lou, how are you today?"

    and she just spent 20 minutes on the phone crying because someone called and said their dog died



    i don't want to choke her... i just want her to be less nicey nicey ;)


    Dude you have it easy. I get to hear Sri Lankan all day long. Live with that.
    You've changed your place in this world!
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    libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    omg this thread again....

    yeah I felt like killing everyone in my office today...one of those days.
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
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    normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool. Posts: 31,146
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    lamperti77lamperti77 Posts: 365
    cutback wrote:


    That about sums it up. We've got a complete moron here that somehow graduated from a 4 year college. I think she has directions taped to her steering wheel just so she can get to work and home.
    I'll scream my lungs out...'til I fill this thread!
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    bostonloubostonlou Posts: 2,849
    the inspiration for this thread now comes back and chats with someone in the next cube over


    i will never be free
    Don't Believe Everything You Think
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    Ms. HaikuMs. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,258
    bostonlou wrote:
    the inspiration for this thread now comes back and chats with someone in the next cube over


    i will never be free
    You just gave me my first laugh of the day. Golly, I'm really sorry for you.

    hahahahahahahahahahaha :D
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
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    bostonloubostonlou Posts: 2,849
    well.. this doesn't have to do with the original but it's a story from my cube anyhoo



    the lady in the cube next to me just smashed herself in the mouth with her phone

    i can't stop laughing

    first i hear the sound of something slamming off her teeth

    then

    she says "oww I just smashed myself in the mouth with my phone"

    i immediately laughed out loud while 2 other cube neighbors asked if she was ok

    now i'm surpressing the giggles
    Don't Believe Everything You Think
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    NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    bostonlou wrote:
    well.. this doesn't have to do with the original but it's a story from my cube anyhoo



    the lady in the cube next to me just smashed herself in the mouth with her phone

    i can't stop laughing

    first i hear the sound of something slamming off her teeth

    then

    she says "oww I just smashed myself in the mouth with my phone"

    i immediately laughed out loud while 2 other cube neighbors asked if she was ok

    now i'm surpressing the giggles

    tell her to rub my nerve
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    crittablescrittables Posts: 342
    bostonlou wrote:
    well.. this doesn't have to do with the original but it's a story from my cube anyhoo



    the lady in the cube next to me just smashed herself in the mouth with her phone

    i can't stop laughing

    first i hear the sound of something slamming off her teeth

    then

    she says "oww I just smashed myself in the mouth with my phone"

    i immediately laughed out loud while 2 other cube neighbors asked if she was ok

    now i'm surpressing the giggles


    that's hilarious. and so stupid so probably something i would do too. today i scratched myself on the face with something a customer was returning. there was no easy way for me to do it either. i'm a moron.
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    Born2JamBorn2Jam Posts: 255
    I never saw this thread before today.......I'm glad it was revived, cuz I just had a great laugh on company time!

    I have a book of stories from my office, too. Although, not so much annoying.....we're a smaller company.....it's more like a dysfunctional family trying to work together.

    Some of the younger ones I think were inbred right here.
    :p
    "This band has provided many people a soundtrack to their lives.." ~ CitizenRick
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    normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool. Posts: 31,146
    bostonlou wrote:
    well.. this doesn't have to do with the original but it's a story from my cube anyhoo



    the lady in the cube next to me just smashed herself in the mouth with her phone

    i can't stop laughing

    first i hear the sound of something slamming off her teeth

    then

    she says "oww I just smashed myself in the mouth with my phone"

    i immediately laughed out loud while 2 other cube neighbors asked if she was ok

    now i'm surpressing the giggles


    what kind of f'ed up company is this? :p
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    bostonloubostonlou Posts: 2,849
    so the lady who bashed herself in the mouth with the phone?


    well


    she just bent over to pick something up off the floor in between two chairs in the conference room

    now... most of us realize that chairs swivel

    but not this rocket scientist

    so she puts her hand on one chair to balance herself... it swings away from her... knocking the arm of the other chair into her face

    i kid you not...

    i saw it happen and don't know how i didn't laugh





    oh ... and at lunch today... i saw the original inspiration for this thread

    she was out for a walk...

    well ... let me correct that

    i'm guessing it was a power walk

    she had her pants hiked up to her tits and was swinging her arms like she was in a twist competition with chubby checker

    anyone else annoyed by people who feel the need to walk that way? like they saw some fitness geek in the 70s do it so it obviously must be beneficial?
    Don't Believe Everything You Think
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    lamperti77lamperti77 Posts: 365
    bostonlou wrote:
    she was out for a walk...

    well ... let me correct that

    i'm guessing it was a power walk

    she had her pants hiked up to her tits and was swinging her arms like she was in a twist competition with chubby checker

    anyone else annoyed by people who feel the need to walk that way? like they saw some fitness geek in the 70s do it so it obviously must be beneficial?

    sounds like the opposite of the women in the seinfeld episode who didn't swing her arms at all.

    Does she have one of these in her office?
    jumpsuit1.jpg
    I'll scream my lungs out...'til I fill this thread!
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    bostonloubostonlou Posts: 2,849
    lamperti77 wrote:
    sounds like the opposite of the women in the seinfeld episode who didn't swing her arms at all.

    Does she have one of these in her office?
    jumpsuit1.jpg



    no but i think she might have had a headband on
    Don't Believe Everything You Think
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    bostonloubostonlou Posts: 2,849
    trixie brought up this thread in another thread

    as well as I returned from a 2 week vacation today and although the coworker is no longer physically near me... she still annoys


    she's in a server room which is very loud and she needs help (as usual)

    so she calls my work cell phone from her work cell phone... so the reception was extra shitty...

    yet she needed me to look something up on my laptop... so why not just call my desk?

    anyway... she is so high pitched and whiny that i was yelling into my cell and she couldn't hear me... on top of the fact that she was asking for an ID and password to the server so anyone within 30 feet of me now knows the info

    I ended up hanging up on her and later said my battery died... sorry


    good times
    Don't Believe Everything You Think
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    normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool. Posts: 31,146
    bostonlou wrote:
    trixie brought up this thread in another thread

    as well as I returned from a 2 week vacation today and although the coworker is no longer physically near me... she still annoys


    she's in a server room which is very loud and she needs help (as usual)

    so she calls my work cell phone from her work cell phone... so the reception was extra shitty...

    yet she needed me to look something up on my laptop... so why not just call my desk?

    anyway... she is so high pitched and whiny that i was yelling into my cell and she couldn't hear me... on top of the fact that she was asking for an ID and password to the server so anyone within 30 feet of me now knows the info

    I ended up hanging up on her and later said my battery died... sorry


    good times


    welcome back lou.......why hasn't this woman been fired......:)
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    corycory Posts: 736
    The thing I'm most concerned with is....how in the fuck do you get a 2 week vacation?

    P.S. Fuck your co-worker. She probably has a funny accent anyway;)
    Revive the heart of the heartless...

    Why would you start was has no end?
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    TrixieCatTrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    I forgot about when she smashed herself in the mouth with the phone!!!
    I am crying....I needed this today...tx
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
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    PoncierPoncier Posts: 16,350
    cory wrote:
    The thing I'm most concerned with is....how in the fuck do you get a 2 week vacation?
    Rest of the company needed a break.
    This weekend we rock Portland
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    bostonloubostonlou Posts: 2,849
    we had a company cook out last friday

    they brought in a DJ for karaoke

    so I spent most of the day trying to get stirrup lady up there ... with no luck

    but she was so into everyone else... this one lady did waterfalls by TLC... and she did really well... she didn't look at the monitor... she did the whole rap in the middle... it was really good


    but i couldn't help but watch stirrup lady the whole time... she was amazed at how good this woman was... trying to bob her head along with the beat... but she was so off... so i'm thinking to myself... wow... stirrup is really really white... she's got nothing in the rhythm department... it was amusing

    but then the finale

    so the woman finishes up the song... people start clapping

    and stirrup...

    stands up

    and starts barking like a dog and wildly waving her fist in a circle...

    someone needs to let her know that arsenio is off the air

    it was a riot
    Don't Believe Everything You Think
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    bostonloubostonlou Posts: 2,849
    so i'd like to choke a different co worker

    but i figured i wouldn't start a new thread


    so there's this lady

    she's constantly saying to people "Oh I'm just kidding"... like they wouldn't know her stupid jokes were an attempt at humor... and she usually says it before anyone can react

    it annoys me
    Don't Believe Everything You Think
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    bostonlou wrote:
    she's constantly saying to people "Oh I'm just kidding"... like they wouldn't know her stupid jokes were an attempt at humor... and she usually says it before anyone can react

    it annoys me

    I HATE that.
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    bostonlou wrote:
    so i'd like to choke a different co worker

    but i figured i wouldn't start a new thread


    so there's this lady

    she's constantly saying to people "Oh I'm just kidding"... like they wouldn't know her stupid jokes were an attempt at humor... and she usually says it before anyone can react

    it annoys me
    Do you work on the The View?
    I'm so dangerous I smoke dynamite.

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