I want to choke my coworker

bostonlou

all she wants to do is put together meetings or conference calls to discuss problems instead of just solving them and letting everyone know the solution

there could be a problem with a 2 minute solution but she'll schedule a hour long meeting during which we'll solve nothing and just go off on random tangents

it's gotten to the point where I just say I don't know anything about the issues and refuse to go to the meetings

she also does less work than I do all day... which is hard to do as my post count shows

she spends most of her time gossiping or talking about inane shit like britney spears or 24.

sometimes when she's in the cube next to mine for too long I call her desk so that she'll stop talking and run to see who's on the phone. i hang up before she gets there. I do this probably 3-4 times a day

but this sometimes backfires as she then proceeds to call her mom (she's 44 with a 4 year old that the mother watches)... and they talk about nothing for long periods

thankfully she's stopped talking to the kid on the phone... but for a while all I would hear every few hours is "ARE YOU BEING A GOOD BOY FOR GRANDMA???" "YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD"


i don't bother anyone during the work day... why can't she be more like me?


oh she also makes it a point to tell her stories in either an awful high pitch squealing voice... or she'll make fun of another person if they're not american... she tries to imitate indians, irish, and asian people... but the voice always sounds the same



thanks for listening

sapperskunk

bostonlou wrote:

all she wants to do is put together meetings or conference calls to discuss problems instead of just solving them and letting everyone know the solution

there could be a problem with a 2 minute solution but she'll schedule a hour long meeting during which we'll solve nothing and just go off on random tangents

it's gotten to the point where I just say I don't know anything about the issues and refuse to go to the meetings

she also does less work than I do all day... which is hard to do as my post count shows

she spends most of her time gossiping or talking about inane shit like britney spears or 24.

sometimes when she's in the cube next to mine for too long I call her desk so that she'll stop talking and run to see who's on the phone. i hang up before she gets there. I do this probably 3-4 times a day

but this sometimes backfires as she then proceeds to call her mom (she's 44 with a 4 year old that the mother watches)... and they talk about nothing for long periods

thankfully she's stopped talking to the kid on the phone... but for a while all I would hear every few hours is "ARE YOU BEING A GOOD BOY FOR GRANDMA???" "YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD"


i don't bother anyone during the work day... why can't she be more like me?


oh she also makes it a point to tell her stories in either an awful high pitch squealing voice... or she'll make fun of another person if they're not american... she tries to imitate indians, irish, and asian people... but the voice always sounds the same



thanks for listening

1. Chloroform coworker

2. Open skull

3. Scoop out brain

4. Replace skull

5. Work in peace

mookie9999

bostonlou wrote:

all she wants to do is put together meetings or conference calls to discuss problems instead of just solving them and letting everyone know the solution

there could be a problem with a 2 minute solution but she'll schedule a hour long meeting during which we'll solve nothing and just go off on random tangents

it's gotten to the point where I just say I don't know anything about the issues and refuse to go to the meetings

she also does less work than I do all day... which is hard to do as my post count shows

she spends most of her time gossiping or talking about inane shit like britney spears or 24.

sometimes when she's in the cube next to mine for too long I call her desk so that she'll stop talking and run to see who's on the phone. i hang up before she gets there. I do this probably 3-4 times a day

but this sometimes backfires as she then proceeds to call her mom (she's 44 with a 4 year old that the mother watches)... and they talk about nothing for long periods

thankfully she's stopped talking to the kid on the phone... but for a while all I would hear every few hours is "ARE YOU BEING A GOOD BOY FOR GRANDMA???" "YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD"


i don't bother anyone during the work day... why can't she be more like me?


oh she also makes it a point to tell her stories in either an awful high pitch squealing voice... or she'll make fun of another person if they're not american... she tries to imitate indians, irish, and asian people... but the voice always sounds the same



thanks for listening

Is this the one who can't figure out "Lost"?? Sounds like a winner!

Hawkshore

bostonlou wrote:

all she wants to do is put together meetings or conference calls to discuss problems instead of just solving them and letting everyone know the solution

there could be a problem with a 2 minute solution but she'll schedule a hour long meeting during which we'll solve nothing and just go off on random tangents

it's gotten to the point where I just say I don't know anything about the issues and refuse to go to the meetings

she also does less work than I do all day... which is hard to do as my post count shows

she spends most of her time gossiping or talking about inane shit like britney spears or 24.

sometimes when she's in the cube next to mine for too long I call her desk so that she'll stop talking and run to see who's on the phone. i hang up before she gets there. I do this probably 3-4 times a day

but this sometimes backfires as she then proceeds to call her mom (she's 44 with a 4 year old that the mother watches)... and they talk about nothing for long periods

thankfully she's stopped talking to the kid on the phone... but for a while all I would hear every few hours is "ARE YOU BEING A GOOD BOY FOR GRANDMA???" "YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD"


i don't bother anyone during the work day... why can't she be more like me?


oh she also makes it a point to tell her stories in either an awful high pitch squealing voice... or she'll make fun of another person if they're not american... she tries to imitate indians, irish, and asian people... but the voice always sounds the same



thanks for listening

Where the fuck is her boss??? With his or her head up their ass

ajedigecko

choke her chicken....

know1

You probably annoy her just as much.

bovy_j

Fight the bitch.

bovy_j

Or just scream that you're BostonLou and Pearl Jam will play in your back yard one day. THEN fight the bitch.

BrinkofForever

Superglue her phone to the receiver.

THEN call her.

lamperti77

bostonlou wrote:

all she wants to do is put together meetings or conference calls to discuss problems instead of just solving them and letting everyone know the solution

Sounds like the definition of blamestorming to me.

Whizbang

you sure she's not 35 and calls herself "Jenny"??? I worked for a girl just like this. she stayed with the company for 6 months....she didn't play well in the sand box. When she rudely and condescendingly questioned a person with more seniority & experience, she prefaced by saying "I'm not trying to be a bitch"....to which my other co-worker replied "well, you're being one". I almost died right there. Good ol' Jenny opened herself up for that one.....

just give her enough rope to hang herself, she'll do it eventually.

Lizard

bostonlou wrote:

there could be a problem with a 2 minute solution but she'll schedule a hour long meeting during which we'll solve nothing and just go off on random tangents

Sounds like that nut job Judge in the Anna Nicole case yesterday!! Maybe they are related??

PJ_Lukin

You only have one of those people? Consider yourself lucky!
Where I work at Ultrabigmegacorp Inc., we have 'em by the boat load! What's worse is they are all from Texas or Minnesota and they do it by net meetings or conference calls!
Now I have nothing against those 2 fine states, but when you are born and raised in New York, there are only so many y'alls and ay's? that you can take in an 8 hour day, day after day, week after week... you get my point.

I feel better now.

NY PJ1

i'm sure she loves u :rolleyes:

brain of c

listen to the voices in your head.

bookmuse

bostonlou wrote:

all she wants to do is put together meetings or conference calls to discuss problems instead of just solving them and letting everyone know the solution

there could be a problem with a 2 minute solution but she'll schedule a hour long meeting during which we'll solve nothing and just go off on random tangents

it's gotten to the point where I just say I don't know anything about the issues and refuse to go to the meetings

thanks for listening

Sounds like the meetings are her way of doing less actual work. I empathize with you, my biggest pet peeve (sp ?) is attending so many ineffective and time wasting meetings. Where is her manager??? She probably kisses up to the manager too huh?

South of Seattle

bostonlou wrote:

all she wants to do is put together meetings or conference calls to discuss problems instead of just solving them and letting everyone know the solution

there could be a problem with a 2 minute solution but she'll schedule a hour long meeting during which we'll solve nothing and just go off on random tangents

it's gotten to the point where I just say I don't know anything about the issues and refuse to go to the meetings

she also does less work than I do all day... which is hard to do as my post count shows

she spends most of her time gossiping or talking about inane shit like britney spears or 24.

sometimes when she's in the cube next to mine for too long I call her desk so that she'll stop talking and run to see who's on the phone. i hang up before she gets there. I do this probably 3-4 times a day

but this sometimes backfires as she then proceeds to call her mom (she's 44 with a 4 year old that the mother watches)... and they talk about nothing for long periods

thankfully she's stopped talking to the kid on the phone... but for a while all I would hear every few hours is "ARE YOU BEING A GOOD BOY FOR GRANDMA???" "YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD"


i don't bother anyone during the work day... why can't she be more like me?


oh she also makes it a point to tell her stories in either an awful high pitch squealing voice... or she'll make fun of another person if they're not american... she tries to imitate indians, irish, and asian people... but the voice always sounds the same



thanks for listening

I worked with this lady once. She was my Boss. She only liked me because I was liberal like her. That woman scheduled so many worthless meetings and employee empowerment classes. Then she'd bitch at people for internet usage and would sit at her desk and online shop all day long.

Luckily she was laid off since we had 2 managers in my dept. She was one of the main reasons I switched to nights.

suns rival

bostonlou wrote:

or she'll make fun of another person if they're not american... she tries to imitate indians, irish, and asian people... but the voice always sounds the same



thanks for listening

what the FUCK? :mad: im an asian. then go ahead, choke her. you have my permission.

turnedmyworldtoblack

bostonlou wrote:

all she wants to do is put together meetings or conference calls to discuss problems instead of just solving them and letting everyone know the solution

there could be a problem with a 2 minute solution but she'll schedule a hour long meeting during which we'll solve nothing and just go off on random tangents

it's gotten to the point where I just say I don't know anything about the issues and refuse to go to the meetings

she also does less work than I do all day... which is hard to do as my post count shows

she spends most of her time gossiping or talking about inane shit like britney spears or 24.

sometimes when she's in the cube next to mine for too long I call her desk so that she'll stop talking and run to see who's on the phone. i hang up before she gets there. I do this probably 3-4 times a day

but this sometimes backfires as she then proceeds to call her mom (she's 44 with a 4 year old that the mother watches)... and they talk about nothing for long periods

thankfully she's stopped talking to the kid on the phone... but for a while all I would hear every few hours is "ARE YOU BEING A GOOD BOY FOR GRANDMA???" "YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD"


i don't bother anyone during the work day... why can't she be more like me?


oh she also makes it a point to tell her stories in either an awful high pitch squealing voice... or she'll make fun of another person if they're not american... she tries to imitate indians, irish, and asian people... but the voice always sounds the same



thanks for listening

I just started my tenure in the corporate world, but I have the same exact kind of person that is my supervisor. Instead of just actually being the boss and doing something and just letting us all know how we are going to do it he brings together these meetings and everyone just talks in circles and we accomplish nothing.

Personally I think it annoys me the most is because hes 24 years old (im only 21, but this still annoys me) and is only in the position he's in because he's a cheeseball ass kisser. He lives at home with his parents and doesnt pay any bills, and is making upwards of 80,000 a year. I really hope he gets phased out and I can apply for his job because I GUARUNTEE I could do a better job.

Office Jobs are so predictable. But none the less, I feel your pain. Big time.

Restless Soul

god, I know all about annoying colleagues! Hell is office life, it really is.

JOEJOEJOE

My office isn't far from the kitchen at my firm, so I have to hear yakkity co-workers raise their voices to discuss things as mundane as the traffic or the weather.

My solution is to go talk to them just like Dr. Cox on SCRUBS.

I make a few enemies here and there, but I find it soothing to demean those who don't think of the environment they disturb when they chat too loud! However, one thing I never do is pull rank on them when I tell them to pipe down!....that would cause an uproar!

They tell me to close my office door, but if I did that, it would mean that the terrorists won!

Rapunzel64

I feel for you. I had a boss who would do nothing but speak to her relatives all day in a foreign language. When she wasn't doing this, she would shop on E-Bay until they banned her for not paying for anything she won.

To top it off, she would beg the people who worked for her to go shopping with her in the store next door during work hours. Then she would return everything the next day and buy more stuff.

She did no work during the week and saved everything until the weekend so that she could require all of us to work so that she could get overtime and free food. She finally got canned for stealing from the company.

It does feel good to vent!

Good luck, Lou. I am sure that you can find a way to remedy this!

libragirl

It sounds like what goes on at my job. People can't waste enough time.

norm

Reading this thread makes me glad I don't work in corporate environment anymore.

Thorns2010

Damn man, I worked in an office for 4 months and I couldn't handle it. I didn't really come across any problems like this...but still.....why the fuck do you people do jobs like this???

culot4

I could never work in an enviornment like that. Meetings about meetings and shit and nothing ever gets done...fuck that. I would never survive at a job that wouldn't let me be independent. I feel sorry for all of you slaves to the grind. Don't say the money is worth it either, it isn't.

enharmonic

bostonlou wrote:

all she wants to do is put together meetings or conference calls to discuss problems instead of just solving them and letting everyone know the solution

there could be a problem with a 2 minute solution but she'll schedule a hour long meeting during which we'll solve nothing and just go off on random tangents

it's gotten to the point where I just say I don't know anything about the issues and refuse to go to the meetings

she also does less work than I do all day... which is hard to do as my post count shows

she spends most of her time gossiping or talking about inane shit like britney spears or 24.

sometimes when she's in the cube next to mine for too long I call her desk so that she'll stop talking and run to see who's on the phone. i hang up before she gets there. I do this probably 3-4 times a day

but this sometimes backfires as she then proceeds to call her mom (she's 44 with a 4 year old that the mother watches)... and they talk about nothing for long periods

thankfully she's stopped talking to the kid on the phone... but for a while all I would hear every few hours is "ARE YOU BEING A GOOD BOY FOR GRANDMA???" "YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD"


i don't bother anyone during the work day... why can't she be more like me?


oh she also makes it a point to tell her stories in either an awful high pitch squealing voice... or she'll make fun of another person if they're not american... she tries to imitate indians, irish, and asian people... but the voice always sounds the same



thanks for listening

Welcome to my world, bostonlou. now, multiply that by 4 managers who do the exact same thing, and expect that i can still complete my assigned work.

Last week, I sent out a broadcast e-mail advising that my dance card was full, and that I have no interest in supporting a dog and pony show when I know what needs to be done. I also said that I need another fancy power point presentation like I need another hole in the head, and that nothing these so-called "strategic meetings" have set out to do has been accomplished...failing to result in earned value for our sector.

I received "counseling" for being too "abrasive".

I'd like to throatfuck 'em all with a donkey cock.

Penny453

there's a few people I'd like to choke at work.

bostonlou

lol

forgot i started this thread... the drinks must of blurred the memory of it


her boss doesn't sit in our area anymore...

and my boss... who was her old boss... really doesn't care... and was out of the office anyway


and yes we have more than 1 of her... it's just that she's the closest to my cube


oh and she loves me... i'm good at playing the game and smiling along

although when she tries to gossip with me I usually just go back to my computer and start typing

usually she takes the hint

ReleasH

I'm not in the corporate world, but there are days when I feel like I am being slowly powerpointed to death at school. Then they have a meeting to discuss "student wellness" ... I just want to scream that if they really cared about "wellness" they'd give us the day off from classes rather than subject us to another meeting about ways to reduce stress.

Pearl Jam and toast

sapperskunk wrote:

1. Chloroform coworker

2. Open skull

3. Scoop out brain

4. Replace skull

5. Work in peace

plan b: revolver.