this was a convo between my 4 & 5 year olds in the back seat:
kenzie(4): Which one is more amazinger: God or Santa?
haley(5): God.
disclaimer: I am in no way religious, nor have we ever gone to church. I'm shocked that a 5 year old could think anybody is more amazinger than Santa!
that is soo cute!
Me and Clara had sort of the same conversation about who was more adorable-er, her or Eddie. I told her she is way adorable-er than him. But she thinks Stone wins the contest!
To 10c; "Your PJ tshirt should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady." - bionicamy
Pardon me..but my mom reported this conversation following a trip to the grocery store when she saw a woman she used to teach school with
Mom's version of the conversation:
Woman: Well hey how are you?
Mom: I'm fine, how about you?
Well, I just blew out my knees
Oh no, are you going to have to have surgery?
What?
Well, you said you blew out your knees, I wondered if you needed surgery.
No, I said I JUST BURIED MY NIECE!
All I have to do is revel in the everyday....then do it again tomorrow
They say every sin is deadly but I believe they may be wrong...I'm guilty of all seven and I don't feel too bad at all
my 5 year old asked me how reindeer flew. I said I did not know but perhaps Santa gave them magic powers or something. he turns to me and says. Maybe it's in their DNA
I agreed and then turned my head and laughed to myself! Fucking DNA...my kid's a-ok!
Work was having our annual inspection by the education department.
One of the inspectors was watching a kid glue photo's into their book.The kid didn't want one of the photo's in the book.The inspector asked him why,the kid replied "cause its fucking crap innit"
Ah a priceless gem.
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
My sweet Clara,3, has had a cold for a few days. She snoozed for about 4-5 hours yesterday. So last night I told her since she had such a long nap she would never go to bed that night and I would have to stay up with her.
So she said that I could go to bed and when she got tired she would just lay down on the chowch and sleep. chowch It will forever be a chowch now, not couch or sofa.
To 10c; "Your PJ tshirt should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady." - bionicamy
My daughter's (who is 8) closet was chock full of stuff. I'm talking like you could only open it a little bit and shove something in and quickly close it before the avalanche of junk would fall out. We aren't pigs but sometimes she cleans up herself and her definition of "cleaning" is just shoving junk in her closet.
So we made a deal last Sunday that we would empty the contents of the closet and throw a bunch of stuff away and get organized. As we were emptying the closet, I had to leave to take a phone call. I was away about 10 minutes. When I walked back into her room, the contents of the closet were all over the place. There wasn't any room to walk or step without stepping on something. It was a nightmare.
I said, "oh my gosh honey, this is going to be a big production isn't it?'
She said I know!!! Can you believe all this shit was in there??
I was laughing so hard that I had to leave the room.
my 2 year old boy has been watching happy gilmore cause he liks to watch people hit golf balls and one part of the movie someone says holy shit and my son said it crystal ten seconds before the guy in the movie saic it
My middle one (6 years old) was watching a movie in the basement with my wife. When he came up I asked if it was good. He repplied, there was quite a lot of innapropriate material for children in it. He said the film was rated PG-13 but should have been an R.
My son, then 3, was on the toilet doing a #2 and in a strained voice ask, "Dada who come I talk different when I poop?" And then adding "Do you talk different when you poop? How about Mama?"
My other son when 3 was having a speech evaluation. A professional was showing him pictures to test his vocab, she held up a picture of a zipper, my son says, "A barn door". She looked puzzled and I began laughing, then explaining I had told him a few times and going to the bathroom that his barn door was open and to zip it up.
When Michael Jackson passed, my three year old caught a picture of him on TV. He turn to me and said...."Daddy, who is that scary lady?"
during that same time when the news channels were all running those retrospective stories, a lot of the shows had pictures and performances when Michael was still young (and black).
My daughter said "he looked a lot more happier when his skin was brown".
My 2 yr son and I play tackle football. He will run at me and tackle me as I fall back. Well, one night I did this and after was talking to my wife while laying on my back. My son suddenly jumps on my chest and nails me in the solarplexes causing me to lose my breath. I was laying there for about 30 seconds kind of grunting and trying to catch my breath. My son starts pointing at me yelling, "STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP"
My wife asked him, "Stop what?"
He says pointing at me, "Stop whining like a baby, daddy."
Before christmas, my wife and I were in the car with our 2.5 year old girl. We were on our way home from the mall. We had seen a friend of her's sitting on Santa's lap but my daughter didn't want any part of that.
I asked her, "How is Santa going to know what you want for christmas if you don't tell him?"
My wife said "Are you going to write him a letter?"
My daughter said "No, I already emailed him".
I have no idea where she even knew about email from. I almost wrecked the car in my laughter.
me: c'mon, back to bed.
him: I can't sleep tho, daddy.
me: just keep your eyes closed bud, you'll fall asleep.
him: but I can't sleep with the music on.
me: what music? there's no music playing..
him: but I hear it!
me: where? in your head?
him: (big frown) YES! I can't turn it down.
Comments
Me and Clara had sort of the same conversation about who was more adorable-er, her or Eddie.
Mom's version of the conversation:
Woman: Well hey how are you?
Mom: I'm fine, how about you?
Well, I just blew out my knees
Oh no, are you going to have to have surgery?
What?
Well, you said you blew out your knees, I wondered if you needed surgery.
No, I said I JUST BURIED MY NIECE!
They say every sin is deadly but I believe they may be wrong...I'm guilty of all seven and I don't feel too bad at all
I agreed and then turned my head and laughed to myself! Fucking DNA...my kid's a-ok!
One of the inspectors was watching a kid glue photo's into their book.The kid didn't want one of the photo's in the book.The inspector asked him why,the kid replied "cause its fucking crap innit"
Ah a priceless gem.
So she said that I could go to bed and when she got tired she would just lay down on the chowch and sleep. chowch
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
I like this one from the old days..
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
So we made a deal last Sunday that we would empty the contents of the closet and throw a bunch of stuff away and get organized. As we were emptying the closet, I had to leave to take a phone call. I was away about 10 minutes. When I walked back into her room, the contents of the closet were all over the place. There wasn't any room to walk or step without stepping on something. It was a nightmare.
I said, "oh my gosh honey, this is going to be a big production isn't it?'
She said I know!!! Can you believe all this shit was in there??
I was laughing so hard that I had to leave the room.
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
did you say "yes dear. exactly."
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
"Some people think that you have to kill the fish, but you don't, you only have to put it out of its misery" :?
My other son when 3 was having a speech evaluation. A professional was showing him pictures to test his vocab, she held up a picture of a zipper, my son says, "A barn door". She looked puzzled and I began laughing, then explaining I had told him a few times and going to the bathroom that his barn door was open and to zip it up.
Potty humor can we ever get enough?
One morning, out of the blue he says "I hate Obama!"
I said, "why?"
He said "I just hate him"
eeek.
during that same time when the news channels were all running those retrospective stories, a lot of the shows had pictures and performances when Michael was still young (and black).
My daughter said "he looked a lot more happier when his skin was brown".
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
My wife asked him, "Stop what?"
He says pointing at me, "Stop whining like a baby, daddy."
9/29/04 Boston, 6/28/08 Mansfield, 8/23/09 Chicago, 5/15/10 Hartford
5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
EV Solo: 6/16/11 Boston, 6/18/11 Hartford,
Seattle Key Arena 9-21-2009
Seattle Key Arena 9-22-2009
Oh my god...that is hilarious. I'd love to see a picture or a video of your son doin' the Mike!
"You put some udder cream on that shit?" ~EV 5/17/10
I asked her, "How is Santa going to know what you want for christmas if you don't tell him?"
My wife said "Are you going to write him a letter?"
My daughter said "No, I already emailed him".
I have no idea where she even knew about email from. I almost wrecked the car in my laughter.
me: Get in your pajamas.
son: OK
me: Put your clothes in their drawers
son: OK
me: Brush your teeth
son: You HAD to go there... didn't you Dad?!
(he hates to brush his teeth!)
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
me: c'mon, back to bed.
him: I can't sleep tho, daddy.
me: just keep your eyes closed bud, you'll fall asleep.
him: but I can't sleep with the music on.
me: what music? there's no music playing..
him: but I hear it!
me: where? in your head?
him: (big frown) YES! I can't turn it down.
M: Why is Swiper bad?
Me: Because every story has to have an antagonist.
M: I know what an antagonist is.
Me: You do??
M: Yeah, a fox!
The boys, 7 & 5, are watching T.V.
7: "It's called a Pussy"
5: "Pussy?"
7: "Yeah, a Pussy!"
Wife, sitting near by reading, finally looks up shocked, "What did you say?"
7, "mom, the cat he's called the pussy"
She was looking at a pay phone.
She didn't have a clue what a pay phone is.