Kids say the darndest things : Part 2

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  • sweetpotato
    sweetpotato Posts: 1,278
    When my son was two, I had just finished giving him a bath and he was still naked and wrapped in his towel. I sat him on his bed and left the room for a minute. When I returned, he was laying on his back and fondling himself. I tried to contain the surprise in my voice and played off all cool ...

    "Whatcha doin'?" I asked, very nonchalantly.
    "Playin' with my wiggie," he replied.
    "Oh. How come?"
    "'Cause it feels good."
    "What does it feel like?"
    He closed his eyes and said rapturously, "It feels like the world."


    To this day, if I tell a man that story, they nod and say, "Yep, that's about right."

    :D
    "Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States, Barack Obama."

    "Obama's main opponent in this election on November 4th (was) not John McCain, it (was) ignorance."~Michael Moore

    "i'm feeling kinda righteous right now. with my badass motherfuckin' ukulele!"
    ~ed, 8/7
  • locked
    locked Boston Posts: 4,048
    bump##
    "This here's a REQUEST!"
    EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
    10/25/13 Hartford
  • locked
    locked Boston Posts: 4,048
    finally have something new to post..

    My 7 year old said to me last Monday
    "Happy Martha Lootin King Day"....!

    :)
    "This here's a REQUEST!"
    EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
    10/25/13 Hartford
  • markymark550
    markymark550 Columbia, SC Posts: 5,224
    imspinnin wrote:
    Got my kids a parakeet for xmas and got home and told them to name him. Well my 7 year old says, "okay Mom, but how do you know it's a him, I don't see his penis."
    lol

    that's why my cockatiel is named "Feathers"

    my sister (8 years old at the time) couldn't tell either
  • markymark550
    markymark550 Columbia, SC Posts: 5,224
    My wife and I got married at the beginning of December and she had a friend's 4 year old daughter as the flower girl. She got to wear a purple dress and spread the flowers out and all the stuff that goes along with being a flower girl and she loved every minute of it.

    Over Christmas, my wife's cousin got engaged and they asked the same girl to be their flower girl. They did say she had to wear a green dress though. The little girl said, "I don't wanna wear a green dress. I want to wear my purple princess dress. Also, I already got married once to Mark and I don't know if I want to go through that again."

    She said that so matter-of-factly (almost like a grown woman) that everyone in the room just died laughing.
  • locked
    locked Boston Posts: 4,048
    markymark550 wrote:
    Also, I already got married once to Mark and I don't know if I want to go through that again."

    She said that so matter-of-factly (almost like a grown woman) that everyone in the room just died laughing.

    LMAO!
    "This here's a REQUEST!"
    EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
    10/25/13 Hartford
  • locked
    locked Boston Posts: 4,048
    I pointed out to my 9 year old daughter an old granite hitching post in my neighborhood , and told her how people used to tie their horses up there when they were visiting someone's house in the colonial days. kind of like a colonial era- parking lot.

    she sighed and looked at me bored and said, "DAD! hello? can we just stay in this century for a while!"

    Youth is wasted on the young!
    "This here's a REQUEST!"
    EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
    10/25/13 Hartford
  • mindi
    mindi Posts: 1,862
    I was up late with Clara one night. She had napped earlier in the day so didn't think she needed to go to bed. It was almost 3 am and I was browsing the internet and had just eaten a salad. Clara was sitting next to me cutting up paper. I burped and said excuse me. She stuck her little 2 year old finger in my face and said that's scusting.

    A few nights ago I noticed that my 4 year old, Jane, smelled very orangey. I keep Altoid sours in my purse and they know they are not supposed to go digging around in there. So I asked her if she had gotten into my candy and she said, well my breath was stinking.
    To 10c; "Your PJ tshirt should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady." - bionicamy
  • imspinnin
    imspinnin Posts: 933
    Looking through "On Demand" looking for a movie for by seven year old boys to watch, so I came across "My Girl", I told them to give it a chance that it's a good movie.
    Next to the movie's discription it says it was made in 1991, so my son huffs and puffs and says, "1991?!? Mom if this is balck and white I'm not watching it!!"
    If I could be anything in the world I would be your teardrop...I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
  • imspinnin
    imspinnin Posts: 933
    locked wrote:
    finally have something new to post..

    My 7 year old said to me last Monday
    "Happy Martha Lootin King Day"....!

    :)
    OMG....so cute!!
    If I could be anything in the world I would be your teardrop...I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
  • releaselauren
    releaselauren Posts: 384
    My youngest son had a loose tooth and since he is my "baby" I was going on and on about how my baby can't be losing his first tooth! That is when he said "Mom, when I lose my tooth, I am going to become a man".

    :D
    "you shall be released" ~ EV
  • locked
    locked Boston Posts: 4,048
    a little off track, but I had a "moment" watching my seven year old son shred to Iron Maiden's "Number of the Beast" on "Guitar Hero Three" while my 11 year old daughter is doing a head-stand singing, "6...6,6"...

    If my ex-wife walked in just then...she would've howled!

    I'm a great influence on them..

    ..and yes, we play "even flow" every time they come over as well!
    "This here's a REQUEST!"
    EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
    10/25/13 Hartford
  • GoingToLukins
    GoingToLukins Posts: 232
    Hah, nice. Don't feel bad though; I watch my 2-year-old cousin, who now loves to trash about to White Zombie.



    Three crooked hearts, swirls all around

    You can't spell Gossard without G-O-D
  • locked
    locked Boston Posts: 4,048
    my sons gonna be a punk rockin' head banger..

    I can tell..
    "This here's a REQUEST!"
    EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
    10/25/13 Hartford
  • edvedder913
    edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    my son is 8 and i tok him to see ed in san diego. he liked it but was exhausted. we are from ny so i blame it on the time difference b/c at home h eloves to stay up late and never tires. so he said to me "i was tired b/c you didn't take me to see pearl jam!!!!! if they were doing evolution i dont thin ki would have gotten tired" haha he is probably right :D but a long way off from going to a PJ show!
  • _Crazy_Mary_
    _Crazy_Mary_ Posts: 1,299
    The other day, my 3 yr. old said to my 4 yr. old, "Who says 'who made up the myth?'" And the 4 yr. old replied, "EDDIE!" And they both went into a fit of giggles. I don't get the joke, but it was cute anyway.
    Another time, at least a year ago, the 4 yr. old (then 3) picked up her play telephone and said, "Hi. Well the waiting drove me mad. Bye." And hung up. I can't remember if I've shared that before, but it was hilarious.
    I really screwed that up. I really Schruted it.
  • Rhinocerous Surprise
    Rhinocerous Surprise Posts: 4,423
    _Crazy_Mary_ wrote:
    The other day, my 3 yr. old said to my 4 yr. old, "Who says 'who made up the myth?'" And the 4 yr. old replied, "EDDIE!" And they both went into a fit of giggles. I don't get the joke, but it was cute anyway.
    Another time, at least a year ago, the 4 yr. old (then 3) picked up her play telephone and said, "Hi. Well the waiting drove me mad. Bye." And hung up. I can't remember if I've shared that before, but it was hilarious.

    Those are two hilarious kids! :D But it looks like you've been letting them listen to a little too much Satan's Bed. ;)
    Smokey Robinson constantly looks like he's trying to act natural after being accused of farting.
  • _Crazy_Mary_
    _Crazy_Mary_ Posts: 1,299
    Rhinocerous Surprise wrote:
    Those are two hilarious kids! :D But it looks like you've been letting them listen to a little too much Satan's Bed. ;)

    yeah, fortunately they don't know what most of the words mean. If I ever hear them quote another part of the song, I'll have to put it away for a while.
    I really screwed that up. I really Schruted it.
  • Rhinocerous Surprise
    Rhinocerous Surprise Posts: 4,423
    _Crazy_Mary_ wrote:
    yeah, fortunately they don't know what most of the words mean. If I ever hear them quote another part of the song, I'll have to put it away for a while.

    "Who never sucked Satan's dick?" "EDDIE!" :p
    Smokey Robinson constantly looks like he's trying to act natural after being accused of farting.
  • nocode23
    nocode23 Posts: 411
    My two year old daughter was tearing around the house, as she does sometimes, just running and laughing and screaming, then she ran into her room and got really quiet. So I went in there and she was sitting on one of her chairs being silent. I asked her if she was ok and she looked at me and said, "I just need to calm down!"
    Another time my mom was over visiting and my daughter was climbing on her and bouncing on the couch by her so my mom asked her what she was doing and my daughter yelled, "I'm freaking out!" :)

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