Kids say the darndest things : Part 2

anotherclone

catefrances wrote:

zoe: throw him in the water

me: you cant throw people in the harbour

zoe: its only illegal if theyre in a sack and dead.

HAHAHAH!!!!!!

GreenTeaDisease

I may have already posted this, but I don't see it. A couple years ago I gave my little cousins books for christmas. One of them, who was 5 at the time, opens it, gets this extremely pissed look on his face and just goes, "BUT I CAN'T READ!" He was so freaking mad.

When *I* was 5, my dad woke me up at 5am because my mother was having a baby. The baby was a month early, and at the time I assumed that the due date was the actual date the baby was coming, no exceptions. So I wake up, look at my dad go, "it's 5 am! this is no time for drills!"

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meme

My son, 7, decided he was going to become a vegetarian. He's seen me cook chicken and roast beef, he asked me whether those were animals, I said yes, and he said he doesn't want to eat animals anymore. I respect that.

Following day I ask him what he wants in his sandwich. He says no roastbeef. I don't eat animals anymore. So I offer tuna. He says yes .

Yesterday we go to his favorite Italian restaurant. He orders his favorite dish: gnocchi with sausage. When he is done I tell him: "you know though... sausage is an animal too".
He says "oh yeah? Which animal?"
"a pig"
"oh, that's ok. I don't like pigs"

_Crazy_Mary_

I've got a good one!
A couple weeks ago when we were grocery shopping I notice my 2-year-old's butt crack was showing and I said, "I see your bum crack!" And she replied, "Bum's don't crack...eggs do." It was hilarious. Plus, the way she said eggs was like "aigs."

faceintheclouds

so i go swimming all the time with my son. hes gonna be 3 in feb.
so we get done at the pool last night and were getting changed. i got him dressed before me. anyways, thers like 8 people in there getting changed too. so i take off my shorts and my kid says "what a cute penis you have"
omg i was killing myself. everyone had to have heard it. lol

releaselauren

faceintheclouds wrote:

so i go swimming all the time with my son. hes gonna be 3 in feb.
so we get done at the pool last night and were getting changed. i got him dressed before me. anyways, thers like 8 people in there getting changed too. so i take off my shorts and my kid says "what a cute penis you have"
omg i was killing myself. everyone had to have heard it. lol

That reminds me of when my now 9-year old was 3 and was learning the proper names of body parts. He had recently learned that girls had a vagina, not a penis. So we are sitting at the airport in a crowded terminal and he blurts out "you have a vagina, grandma has a vagina, that woman has a vagina, all girls have a vagina!" I simply replied "yes, that is corrrect" while I'm sure my face was every shade of pink.



I never saw so many people desperately trying *not* to laugh.

vedderfan10

A few Christmases ago, I gave one of my nephews a Hum V toy truck...and after many hours as we were leaving, he comes running up to me gives me a great big hug and says, "Thanks for the Hummer, Auntie Kim!" Yeah, I laughed and raised my eyebrows..."Well....You're very welcome..." and my sister-in-law glared at me something fierce!

And then a couple of years ago, at a family Christmas dinner, my 12-year-old niece did not want to eat the cherry on top of her sundae. You guessed it....she stood up and shouted, "Who wants my cherry? Can someone please take my cherry!"

TrixieCat

faceintheclouds wrote:

so i go swimming all the time with my son. hes gonna be 3 in feb.
so we get done at the pool last night and were getting changed. i got him dressed before me. anyways, thers like 8 people in there getting changed too. so i take off my shorts and my kid says "what a cute penis you have"
omg i was killing myself. everyone had to have heard it. lol

Yeah, well, this post is useless without pictures....:o

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TrixieCat wrote:

Yeah, well, this post is useless without pictures....:o

wrong type of thread!

mindi

2 funny things happened this week!
First I have been going thru boxes and trying to get stuff organized. I was going thru a box of picture frames and pictures and pulled this big picture of Jesus out. My 2 year old, Clara, saw it and said, Eddie! Poor kid is warped already.

A few days ago I was watching Soon Forget on you tube. My 9 year old, Kate, was watching with me and asked me "what does horny mean?" I told her to write Ed a letter and ask him!

Thought of another thing, my 4 year old,Jane, calls all people , humans. Like if someone is knocking at the door she will say there is a human at the door. Her and her sisters were coloring the other day and she said she was going to color some humans. She is sooo weird!

cory

At the ER getting stitches in his chin, my son looked at me and said "Daddy, I can say too too (private place) in Spanish.

Me: "Oh yeah."

My boy: "Penis."

itsevobaby

my favourite thread! keep 'em coming guys!

pjfan31

When i was about 2 i went to the zoo and these urangutans that were sticking their tongues out of their mouths and soing that sipitting thing with their tongues (dont know if their is a word for what i am trying to explain) So in the coming weeks when mum would take me to the shops and all these old ladies would come up to me and say "oh what a beautiful boy u r" I would respond by saying "Monkey go (tongue out spit in their face)" It is a pretty funny story.


I was singing new york new york to this 5 yr old i know, and i kept repeating i wanna be a part of it. He responded by singing instead of "I wanna be apart of it" He sung "I wanna be hippopotimus" It was so cute.

xSmackSoundx

My older brothers used to convince me to take all my quarters, nickels and dimes, and throw them all in the yard so we could have a "Money Scramble". Just like a Candy scramble except with money. It sounded fun at the time until they owned all my money.

meme

Watching the Grand Rapids DVD with my 7 year old son, YL plays.

He: did he just say fuck?
Me: He said "wish this fucking war away"
He : well, I do, too
He: so I think in this case it's acceptable
Me: well, there have to be better ways to say it though
He: well, yeah.

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I tell him: Mike is going to play a different song within this song in a second. Can you tell me which song it is?

*Anthem plays*

He: "it's... hmmmm... it's...... Oh yeah! It's the national anthem of the MLB!"

imspinnin

Got my kids a parakeet for xmas and got home and told them to name him. Well my 7 year old says, "okay Mom, but how do you know it's a him, I don't see his penis."

pineapplesandwaves

A couple of years ago, I was supply teaching. The kids weren't allowed on the playground equipment (as had been stated by their VP daily during morning announcements), but when I took them out for DPA (Daily Physical Activity), a few of them protested that they were allowed to play on the equipment. One of the students piped up, "No, we can't!! The equipment has been sanitized." He meant vandalized. It was so cute.

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all these new ones are great!!

Mikeo

My 2 year old daughter walks around saying "Romo sucks, Romo sucks" all day
We are so proud.