Kids say the darndest things : Part 2

stu gee

I remember another time about 8 years ago in a hotel with my family and my little cousin shouting accross the the dinner table 'i dont have a fork n' knife'. Sounded like she had terrible language and a bad upbringing.

twisztad

I remember a while back my 5y old niece was spending the weekend at my place. She was playing inside the house, when there was a knock on the door and as I opened the door she ran out and screamed "FREEDOM" and then went calmly to go play with her friends, ahh that was so funny.

TheLostSoul

i went to go visit my sister and her family one time and i got the late night munchies. so i sneak down to the kitchen to go raid the cupbord. inside i find these big plastic bins at floor level full of goodies. goldfish, cheese and crackers, granola bars, rice crispies, teddy grahams, doritos, etc. obviously this was set up for my 4 year old nephew.

now this is something that quite honestly im not used to for i dont eat snack foods. a snack for me is leftovers from dinner. but its not my house, everyone is asleep, and im not about to start making mac and cheese at 2am. so i went ape shit. had a rice crispie treat, some teddy grahams, some cheese and crackers, doritos, etc.

the next morning, as im having my coffee, im literally rolling in stomach pain. my nephew asks me "uncle charlie, what is wrong?" i told him "i got hungry last night around 2am and had a few things from your snack bin. and i dont think they settled to well."

my nephew looked me straight in the face and said "you should eat healthy snacks."

imspinnin

My five year old has been hounding me for the past hour, asking me over and over again if he can go on http://www.buildabearworkshop.com (while I've been in the Message Pit)
I just keep on telling him, "when Mom's through..."
He just came up to me and snapped his finger's in front of my face and said "Mom snap out of it!"

ajedigecko

i just put my daughter (3yrs) down for a nap......

she yells to me."Papa, my throat hurts." I walked in.

she is holding her tummy.

locked

imspinnin wrote:

My five year old has been hounding me for the past hour, asking me over and over again if he can go on http://www.buildabearworkshop.com (while I've been in the Message Pit)
I just keep on telling him, "when Mom's through..."
He just came up to me and snapped his finger's in front of my face and said "Mom snap out of it!"

LMAO!!!

jacquirenee

i know sometimes people tell this story about grownups as a joke, but i swear to god i really said this as a kid:

i was about 4 or 5 and we were riding in the car... my parents were big rockers and we were always listening to the "classic rock" station in the car (this was the 80s). they talked a lot about music and i was exposed to a lot of the greats at a very young age. anyway, "band on the run" or "maybe i'm amazed" came on, and the announcer was like, "that was paul mccartney and wings," and i said, "mom, wasn't paul mccartney in a band before wings?"

my parents had to pull over they were laughing so hard.

drivingrl

TheLostSoul wrote:

the next morning, as im having my coffee, im literally rolling in stomach pain. my nephew asks me "uncle charlie, what is wrong?" i told him "i got hungry last night around 2am and had a few things from your snack bin. and i dont think they settled to well."

Ew. Doritos are the devil.

coachchris

When I was four my mom said I threw a terrible tantrum and so she sent me to my room. My mom always had a rule of however old you are that's the amount of time you're punished for. So I was in my room a total of four minutes when she came back to talk to me. Apparently my room was trashed, dresser drawers emptied of clothes, bed sheets ripped off, pictures broken etc. and last but not least my name written in crayon on the wall She asked me what the hell happened to which I replied...

"Mom, a giraffe just climbed in to the room from the window and messed everything up"

Even at age four I was a very bad liar

Hands bound

When I was about 3, my mom and dad had a couple friends over to play cards. The guy that was over got up to go use the bathroom and came back out and sat down at the table to finish the game...a few minutes later I went into the bathroom to go, and came strutting back out with my hands on my hips and seriously asked the group...

"Who was the asshole that left the toilet seat up?"

Then another time, my mom and me and my gramma were at church and the ladies were getting up and taking turns singing hymns at the front of the church. I was probably 4 or 5. As soon as I saw an opening, I jumped up out of the pew and was going to go up front when my gramma grabbed my arm and quietly asked me where I was going....to which I yelled (in a VERY quiet church) "I'm going up there, it's my turn now"

releaselauren

imspinnin wrote:

My five year old has been hounding me for the past hour, asking me over and over again if he can go on http://www.buildabearworkshop.com (while I've been in the Message Pit)
I just keep on telling him, "when Mom's through..."
He just came up to me and snapped his finger's in front of my face and said "Mom snap out of it!"

hilarious!

I'm waiting for the moment my son does that to me! He is always trying to kick me off the computer so he can watch videos via Itunes.

a little funny ....he started yelling from the other end of the house "Mom, I need a BLESSyou, my nose is running". that's what he calls tissue.

BackwardsBlues1

I gave my 5-year-old god son a few books for christmas. he opened the present, got extremely mad, ruffled eyebrows and all, and yelled, "BUT I CAN'T READ!!!!"

given2fly78

coachchris wrote:

When I was four my mom said I threw a terrible tantrum and so she sent me to my room. My mom always had a rule of however old you are that's the amount of time you're punished for. So I was in my room a total of four minutes when she came back to talk to me. Apparently my room was trashed, dresser drawers emptied of clothes, bed sheets ripped off, pictures broken etc. and last but not least my name written in crayon on the wall She asked me what the hell happened to which I replied...

"Mom, a giraffe just climbed in to the room from the window and messed everything up"

Even at age four I was a very bad liar

Speaking of bad liars....When I was around 11 or so, I wanted to wear makeup SO BAD - every other girl was but my mom wouldn't let me. So I decided to try her Mascara one morning. We were up at the end of our driveway where the bus would pick us up and my mom asked me what was on my eyelashes. I of course, wouldn't say it was Mascara, I told her a BIRD POOPED on my eyelashes!!!!!

How bad is that? She made me go back home and wash it off. I missed the bus, got grounded for lying. That was the end of my makeup experiments for a few years. LOL. At least it's funny now.

sk8nshoot1

When my son was 1+ and toddling around we got a kitten... He wanted in the worst way to get near the cat and pet it and grab it... So anytime he got near the poor thing we would say "easy, easy... be easy..."

He grew up thinking the cat's name was "Easy" and always called it that...

imspinnin

My 6 year old twin boys are into growing their hair this summer, they also love Pearl Jam. (My husbands had enough of me and my love for PJ)
Soooo anyway....the other night at the dinner table while we're eating and having "family time" my husband looks at the boys and says, you boys need a hair cut, and their response was, "but Dad I want as long as Eddie's"
I almost choked...:o

locked

imspinnin wrote:

My 6 year old twin boys are into growing their hair this summer, they also love Pearl Jam. (My husbands had enough of me and my love for PJ)
Soooo anyway....the other night at the dinner table while we're eating and having "family time" my husband looks at the boys and says, you boys need a hair cut, and their response was, "but Dad I want as long as Eddie's"
I almost choked...:o

LMAO!!!

locked

BackwardsBlues1 wrote:

I gave my 5-year-old god son a few books for christmas. he opened the present, got extremely mad, ruffled eyebrows and all, and yelled, "BUT I CAN'T READ!!!!"

another classic LMAO!l

Hands bound

My 5 year old cousin went in to have his tonsils taken out yesterday.
Before he went to the hospital he looked at my grandma (his great-grandma) and said, "Mama, I am having my lungs taken out today".

And when the nurse was taking him back to the operating room, he looked up at her and said, "I'm nervous, I've never done this before".

So cute..he will be 6 in September...which is amazing...I remember the day he was born..

_Crazy_Mary_

Last week we went to a renaissance festival that featured a real-life fire breathing dragon (made of recycled materials). I asked my 3-yr-old if she wants to see it and she looked scared and asked, "Is it in a cage?" As if that wasn't funny enough, when I told her no she said she didn't want to see it because it might eat her baby sister. lol

hippiemom

jacquirenee wrote:

i know sometimes people tell this story about grownups as a joke, but i swear to god i really said this as a kid:

i was about 4 or 5 and we were riding in the car... my parents were big rockers and we were always listening to the "classic rock" station in the car (this was the 80s). they talked a lot about music and i was exposed to a lot of the greats at a very young age. anyway, "band on the run" or "maybe i'm amazed" came on, and the announcer was like, "that was paul mccartney and wings," and i said, "mom, wasn't paul mccartney in a band before wings?"

my parents had to pull over they were laughing so hard.

My daughter has been raised on Pearl Jam, and we listen to a lot of old bootlegs, so she's heard them do "I've Got A Feeling" about a million times. So one day I was in the kitchen and I had the Beatles "Let It Be" on, she came in and heard "I've Got A Feeling" and said "Who is this? They're doing a pretty good job!"