Kids say the darndest things : Part 2

locked

1) My 5 yr. old son was frustrated with his sippy cup the other day and said:
"It's like my WORST enemy!"

2) Driving my 9 y.r old daughter to the bus stop this morning, I noted how many books she had in her book bag to which she responded:

"Geez Dad, HELLO! I'm in third grade!"

Riot_Rain

chipboy

My 15 year old was left with the apparently overwhelming task of watching my 5 year old for 2 hours the other day and I came home to this gem:

"Justin said a bad word."
"What did he say?"
"It starts with a 'D' and ends with a 'ouchebag'."

you are

my niece was just starting to say all kinds of words....and then we got to the word - ice, and she said - "IIAASS".......no matter how many times we got her to say it, it still came out sounding like "ass".....poor kid

and my other niece wanted to hold this baby and she was 3 at that time. so instead of saying "I hold baby" or something like that, she said "Baby hold me" and reached for the baby. it was so cute!

i love kids, they're so adorable, funny, and innocent....can't wait to have my own one day.

releaselauren

chipboy wrote:

My 15 year old was left with the apparently overwhelming task of watching my 5 year old for 2 hours the other day and I came home to this gem:

"Justin said a bad word."
"What did he say?"
"It starts with a 'D' and ends with a 'ouchebag'."

that is funny.


my 4.5 year old son is in t-ball and he is highly competitive and dramatic. His team was on the field and when he was out run by his teammates who were all trying to get the ball, Kyle threw his hat on the ground, then his mitt and said "I am OUT!" and walked off the field.

Cosmo

I was at the Mall and I saw this woman breast feeding and the baby must have gotten annoyed 'cuz he said, "As soon as I'm done sucking on this tit... I'm going to come over there and kill you".

locked

after my 5 year old son sneezed 3 times in a row, he told me..

"dad, I think I'm allegric to boogies!"...

Stinkfoot

My two year old loves watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (The T.Burton one).

What started off as 'Winky Wonka'....soon became 'Wanky Wonka' :eek:
(I'm glad we've managed to get her back to 'Winky' now )

Collin

funny thread...

where's part one?

grungegirl

chipboy wrote:

My 15 year old was left with the apparently overwhelming task of watching my 5 year old for 2 hours the other day and I came home to this gem:

"Justin said a bad word."
"What did he say?"
"It starts with a 'D' and ends with a 'ouchebag'."

That is funny as heck LOL

NothinGBetteRPJMaN

This happened like 15 years ago and it is a story that my mom has told.

My mom was driving one day with my sister in the back seat. She must've been around six. Well my mom was drinking coffee and once she took a sip my sister started to cry. When my mom asked why she said, "You are not allowed to drink and drive." or something to that effect.

vinceinhiding

releaselauren wrote:

that is funny.


my 4.5 year old son is in t-ball and he is highly competitive and dramatic. His team was on the field and when he was out run by his teammates who were all trying to get the ball, Kyle threw his hat on the ground, then his mitt and said "I am OUT!" and walked off the field.

oh man thats hilarious... kids in sports, theres nothing more entertaining!

EddiesGurl

these are all great!! kids are too funny! i love it!!

ZiggyStar

locked wrote:

1) My 5 yr. old son was frustrated with his sippy cup the other day and said:
"It's like my WORST enemy!"

2) Driving my 9 y.r old daughter to the bus stop this morning, I noted how many books she had in her book bag to which she responded:

"Geez Dad, HELLO! I'm in third grade!"

LOL!!!

markymark550

NothinGBetteRPJMaN wrote:

This happened like 15 years ago and it is a story that my mom has told.

My mom was driving one day with my sister in the back seat. She must've been around six. Well my mom was drinking coffee and once she took a sip my sister started to cry. When my asked why she said, "You are not allowed to drink and drive." or something to that affect.

I used to think the exact same thing when I was that age. I was convinced that whoever was driving was going to get taken to jail because of those don't drink and drive commercials.

stu gee

Completely true story :

One time when i was very young i apparently came home from school and i think some kids had been talking about protestants and catholics that day. My dad says that night i asked him and my mum very seriously, 'Am i a prostitute?' I kinda remember it and i remember my dad laughing his head off and just saying 'I hope not!'

Collin

stu gee wrote:

Completely true story :

One time when i was very young i apparently came home from school and i think some kids had been talking about protestants and catholics that day. My dad says that night i asked him and my mum very seriously, 'Am i a prostitute?' I kinda remember it and i remember my dad laughing his head off and just saying 'I hope not!'

Damn, I was literally on the floor laughing!

JaneNY

I told my daughter she couldn't do something, and she glared and said 'meany', and I said 'what was that?' and she grabs her knee and goes 'oh! me knee, me knee is hurting'. Blatant, but amusing.

small town beck

stu gee wrote:

Completely true story :

One time when i was very young i apparently came home from school and i think some kids had been talking about protestants and catholics that day. My dad says that night i asked him and my mum very seriously, 'Am i a prostitute?' I kinda remember it and i remember my dad laughing his head off and just saying 'I hope not!'

Too cute. Reminds me of when I was a kid and Madonn's "Like a Virgin" came out. I was little and I didn't know what a virgin was so I asked my older sister. Before telling me what it was she said "do you think you are one?" and I said no I didn't think I was . LOL older siblings can be so cruel.

I think the sippy cup, worst enemy one is my fave.

ZiggyStar

small town beck wrote:

Too cute. Reminds me of when I was a kid and Madonn's "Like a Virgin" came out. I was little and I didn't know what a virgin was so I asked my older sister. Before telling me what it was she said "do you think you are one?" and I said no I didn't think I was . LOL older siblings can be so cruel.

I think the sippy cup, worst enemy one is my fave.

Speaking of older siblings...

Apparently I couldn't say "TR" when I was really young and would instead say "F"...so my older brother and sister (9 and 5 years old than myself) would point to a car and say "What is that?" "CARRR" and then would point to a truck "What is that?" "FUCKKK!!!" My mum wasn't very amused. I can only vaguely remember it.

small town beck

ZiggyStar wrote:

Speaking of older siblings...

Apparently I couldn't say "TR" when I was really young and would instead say "F"...so my older brother and sister (9 and 5 years old than myself) would point to a car and say "What is that?" "CARRR" and then would point to a truck "What is that?" "FUCKKK!!!" My mum wasn't very amused. I can only vaguely remember it.

LOL

Older siblings. You have to love 'em.

You would think I would have learned my lesson but nope... I eventually had to ask her what horny meant :eek:

stu gee

I remember another time about 8 years ago in a hotel with my family and my little cousin shouting accross the the dinner table 'i dont have a fork n' knife'. Sounded like she had terrible language and a bad upbringing.

twisztad

I remember a while back my 5y old niece was spending the weekend at my place. She was playing inside the house, when there was a knock on the door and as I opened the door she ran out and screamed "FREEDOM" and then went calmly to go play with her friends, ahh that was so funny.

TheLostSoul

i went to go visit my sister and her family one time and i got the late night munchies. so i sneak down to the kitchen to go raid the cupbord. inside i find these big plastic bins at floor level full of goodies. goldfish, cheese and crackers, granola bars, rice crispies, teddy grahams, doritos, etc. obviously this was set up for my 4 year old nephew.

now this is something that quite honestly im not used to for i dont eat snack foods. a snack for me is leftovers from dinner. but its not my house, everyone is asleep, and im not about to start making mac and cheese at 2am. so i went ape shit. had a rice crispie treat, some teddy grahams, some cheese and crackers, doritos, etc.

the next morning, as im having my coffee, im literally rolling in stomach pain. my nephew asks me "uncle charlie, what is wrong?" i told him "i got hungry last night around 2am and had a few things from your snack bin. and i dont think they settled to well."

my nephew looked me straight in the face and said "you should eat healthy snacks."

imspinnin

My five year old has been hounding me for the past hour, asking me over and over again if he can go on http://www.buildabearworkshop.com (while I've been in the Message Pit)
I just keep on telling him, "when Mom's through..."
He just came up to me and snapped his finger's in front of my face and said "Mom snap out of it!"

ajedigecko

i just put my daughter (3yrs) down for a nap......

she yells to me."Papa, my throat hurts." I walked in.

she is holding her tummy.

locked

imspinnin wrote:

My five year old has been hounding me for the past hour, asking me over and over again if he can go on http://www.buildabearworkshop.com (while I've been in the Message Pit)
I just keep on telling him, "when Mom's through..."
He just came up to me and snapped his finger's in front of my face and said "Mom snap out of it!"

LMAO!!!

jacquirenee

i know sometimes people tell this story about grownups as a joke, but i swear to god i really said this as a kid:

i was about 4 or 5 and we were riding in the car... my parents were big rockers and we were always listening to the "classic rock" station in the car (this was the 80s). they talked a lot about music and i was exposed to a lot of the greats at a very young age. anyway, "band on the run" or "maybe i'm amazed" came on, and the announcer was like, "that was paul mccartney and wings," and i said, "mom, wasn't paul mccartney in a band before wings?"

my parents had to pull over they were laughing so hard.

drivingrl

TheLostSoul wrote:

the next morning, as im having my coffee, im literally rolling in stomach pain. my nephew asks me "uncle charlie, what is wrong?" i told him "i got hungry last night around 2am and had a few things from your snack bin. and i dont think they settled to well."

Ew. Doritos are the devil.

coachchris

When I was four my mom said I threw a terrible tantrum and so she sent me to my room. My mom always had a rule of however old you are that's the amount of time you're punished for. So I was in my room a total of four minutes when she came back to talk to me. Apparently my room was trashed, dresser drawers emptied of clothes, bed sheets ripped off, pictures broken etc. and last but not least my name written in crayon on the wall She asked me what the hell happened to which I replied...

"Mom, a giraffe just climbed in to the room from the window and messed everything up"

Even at age four I was a very bad liar

Hands bound

When I was about 3, my mom and dad had a couple friends over to play cards. The guy that was over got up to go use the bathroom and came back out and sat down at the table to finish the game...a few minutes later I went into the bathroom to go, and came strutting back out with my hands on my hips and seriously asked the group...

"Who was the asshole that left the toilet seat up?"

Then another time, my mom and me and my gramma were at church and the ladies were getting up and taking turns singing hymns at the front of the church. I was probably 4 or 5. As soon as I saw an opening, I jumped up out of the pew and was going to go up front when my gramma grabbed my arm and quietly asked me where I was going....to which I yelled (in a VERY quiet church) "I'm going up there, it's my turn now"