Should I ask Agnes out on a date?

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  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,892
    edited October 2018
    Yes
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    Marriage is rough enough without bringing what other people think into it. People have all kinds of arrangements that work, if they are both on the same page, why should we care?
    Well with the divorce rates what they are, let's just say we're talking about the arrangements that don't work and where they are not on the same page at all. ;) And I can't speak for others, but I care about exploring relationship issues because it all works towards gaining wisdom about such matters. There are clearly common patterns at play with relationships and how people operate, so it's definitely useful to pay attention to how other people's relationships work.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • mcgruff10
    mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 29,183
    Yes
    bbiggs said:
    HesCalledDyer said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    My wife definitely doesn't give me the third degree when I am hanging out with my buddies.  Every year we have a guys trip somewhere (snowboarding, nd football game, cabin in the woods with beer olympics) and she is cool with all that.  But no girls lol.  
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,650
    edited October 2018
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    HesCalledDyer said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    My wife definitely doesn't give me the third degree when I am hanging out with my buddies.  Every year we have a guys trip somewhere (snowboarding, nd football game, cabin in the woods with beer olympics) and she is cool with all that.  But no girls lol.  
    Your digging yourself into a hole regarding this. Haha. 



    Everyone is just waiting for the ball to drop, and you realizing there is insecurity and jealousy in your relationship. Which is okey. 
    Post edited by Spiritual_Chaos on
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • F Me In The Brain
    F Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,957
    No


    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • F Me In The Brain
    F Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,957
    No
    (Thanks for the tip)
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • bbiggs
    bbiggs Posts: 6,965
    PJ_Soul said:
    bbiggs said:
    HesCalledDyer said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    By the way, just to stop the sexism here, husbands do the same shit to their wives. And either way, I have no clue why a person would marry someone who would do that. It's bizarre. Do people just not know any better?
    Agreed that it works both ways. My wife is cool with me going out with my friends anytime and vice versa. It’s healthy that way. 
  • mcgruff10
    mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 29,183
    Yes
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    HesCalledDyer said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    My wife definitely doesn't give me the third degree when I am hanging out with my buddies.  Every year we have a guys trip somewhere (snowboarding, nd football game, cabin in the woods with beer olympics) and she is cool with all that.  But no girls lol.  
    Your digging yourself into a hole regarding this. Haha. 



    Everyone is just waiting for the ball to drop, and you realizing there is insecurity and jealousy in your relationship. Which is okey. 
    Huh?  Ball to drop?  I honestly have the perfect marriage. It is all good. We both have zero to worry about. Just no need to hang with the opposite sex. 
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,650
    edited October 2018
    F Me In The Brain said:


    That's the boy from Wes Craven's New Nightmare.


    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • mcgruff10
    mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 29,183
    Yes
    In my head I am going through all my friends and family and literally none of them have friends of the opposite gender. Maybe you guys are in the minority, not me. 
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,650
    mcgruff10 said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    HesCalledDyer said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    My wife definitely doesn't give me the third degree when I am hanging out with my buddies.  Every year we have a guys trip somewhere (snowboarding, nd football game, cabin in the woods with beer olympics) and she is cool with all that.  But no girls lol.  
    Your digging yourself into a hole regarding this. Haha. 



    Everyone is just waiting for the ball to drop, and you realizing there is insecurity and jealousy in your relationship. Which is okey. 
    Huh?  Ball to drop?  I honestly have the perfect marriage. It is all good. We both have zero to worry about. Just no need to hang with the opposite sex. 
    And why is that, this barrier between you and hanging out with people of the opposite sex?
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • F Me In The Brain
    F Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,957
    edited October 2018
    No
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    HesCalledDyer said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    My wife definitely doesn't give me the third degree when I am hanging out with my buddies.  Every year we have a guys trip somewhere (snowboarding, nd football game, cabin in the woods with beer olympics) and she is cool with all that.  But no girls lol.  
    Your digging yourself into a hole regarding this. Haha. 



    Everyone is just waiting for the ball to drop, and you realizing there is insecurity and jealousy in your relationship. Which is okey. 
    Not me, I am waiting for everyone to understand that every relationship works by its own rules (at least the best ones, imo) and stfu about it.  [Especially people who are unhappily married, divorced, or otherwise single.  It works for him.  Bunch a know-it-alls here.]
    Post edited by F Me In The Brain on
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,650
    F Me In The Brain said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    HesCalledDyer said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    My wife definitely doesn't give me the third degree when I am hanging out with my buddies.  Every year we have a guys trip somewhere (snowboarding, nd football game, cabin in the woods with beer olympics) and she is cool with all that.  But no girls lol.  
    Your digging yourself into a hole regarding this. Haha. 



    Everyone is just waiting for the ball to drop, and you realizing there is insecurity and jealousy in your relationship. Which is okey. 
    Not me, I am waiting for everyone to understand that every relationship works by its own rules (at least the best ones, imo) and stfu about it.  [Especially people who are unhappily married, divorced, or otherwise single.  It works for him.  Bunch a know-it-alls here.]
    But no one is talking about it working or not, or criticize that different relationships have different rules. Please re-read the conversation.
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,650
    mcgruff10 said:
    In my head I am going through all my friends and family and literally none of them have friends of the opposite gender. Maybe you guys are in the minority, not me. 
    Swedish artist Thåström had his big (solo) comeback in 1999 with his album "It's you that are the weird ones. It's me that is normal". Great album.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rm12UcnP7m8
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • mcgruff10
    mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 29,183
    Yes
    F Me In The Brain said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    HesCalledDyer said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    My wife definitely doesn't give me the third degree when I am hanging out with my buddies.  Every year we have a guys trip somewhere (snowboarding, nd football game, cabin in the woods with beer olympics) and she is cool with all that.  But no girls lol.  
    Your digging yourself into a hole regarding this. Haha. 



    Everyone is just waiting for the ball to drop, and you realizing there is insecurity and jealousy in your relationship. Which is okey. 
    Not me, I am waiting for everyone to understand that every relationship works by its own rules (at least the best ones, imo) and stfu about it.  [Especially people who are unhappily married, divorced, or otherwise single.  It works for him.  Bunch a know-it-alls here.]
    Seriously I have the best relationship ever. I have no clue why I am on the stand. This it works for us. I have zero interest in having female relationships or meeting another woman at the bar. 
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,650
    edited October 2018
    mcgruff10 said:
    F Me In The Brain said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    HesCalledDyer said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    My wife definitely doesn't give me the third degree when I am hanging out with my buddies.  Every year we have a guys trip somewhere (snowboarding, nd football game, cabin in the woods with beer olympics) and she is cool with all that.  But no girls lol.  
    Your digging yourself into a hole regarding this. Haha. 



    Everyone is just waiting for the ball to drop, and you realizing there is insecurity and jealousy in your relationship. Which is okey. 
    Not me, I am waiting for everyone to understand that every relationship works by its own rules (at least the best ones, imo) and stfu about it.  [Especially people who are unhappily married, divorced, or otherwise single.  It works for him.  Bunch a know-it-alls here.]
    Seriously I have the best relationship ever. I have no clue why I am on the stand. This it works for us. I have zero interest in having female relationships or meeting another woman at the bar. 
    And I'm usually meeting people, and not sexes. 

    To me interesting/cool people are not based on gender.
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • Annafalk
    Annafalk Sweden Posts: 4,004
    Yes
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    F Me In The Brain said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    HesCalledDyer said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    My wife definitely doesn't give me the third degree when I am hanging out with my buddies.  Every year we have a guys trip somewhere (snowboarding, nd football game, cabin in the woods with beer olympics) and she is cool with all that.  But no girls lol.  
    Your digging yourself into a hole regarding this. Haha. 



    Everyone is just waiting for the ball to drop, and you realizing there is insecurity and jealousy in your relationship. Which is okey. 
    Not me, I am waiting for everyone to understand that every relationship works by its own rules (at least the best ones, imo) and stfu about it.  [Especially people who are unhappily married, divorced, or otherwise single.  It works for him.  Bunch a know-it-alls here.]
    But no one is talking about it working or not, or criticize that different relationships have different rules. Please re-read the conversation.
    It's like you can't let go, you keep going on and on about the same thing. Why ?? 
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,892
    edited October 2018
    Yes
    mcgruff10 said:
    In my head I am going through all my friends and family and literally none of them have friends of the opposite gender. Maybe you guys are in the minority, not me. 
    I never claimed you were in the minority. I said the exact opposite. What I'm saying is that that is all due to jealousy and a lack of trust, and, apparently, an enduring and disturbing inequality between men and women on a social level (aka "not interest" in being friends with women... why? I dunno. You don't like women enough, unless you can have sex with them?), and, apparently, fear of their inability to not want to fuck anything that doesn't have the same genitalia. I really just think anyone can carry this viewpoint and claim that is has nothing to do with any of those things.
    Sorry, that was a rant I guess, but I actually find this whole concept of separating the sexes in terms of platonic friendship rather insulting.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • F Me In The Brain
    F Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,957
    No
    mcgruff10 said:
    F Me In The Brain said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    HesCalledDyer said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    My wife definitely doesn't give me the third degree when I am hanging out with my buddies.  Every year we have a guys trip somewhere (snowboarding, nd football game, cabin in the woods with beer olympics) and she is cool with all that.  But no girls lol.  
    Your digging yourself into a hole regarding this. Haha. 



    Everyone is just waiting for the ball to drop, and you realizing there is insecurity and jealousy in your relationship. Which is okey. 
    Not me, I am waiting for everyone to understand that every relationship works by its own rules (at least the best ones, imo) and stfu about it.  [Especially people who are unhappily married, divorced, or otherwise single.  It works for him.  Bunch a know-it-alls here.]
    Seriously I have the best relationship ever. I have no clue why I am on the stand. This it works for us. I have zero interest in having female relationships or meeting another woman at the bar. 
    Rock your relationship. 
    This 'I know what works best for you (and everyone else) yet I am single' is blahblahblah. 



    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,892
    edited October 2018
    Yes
    F Me In The Brain said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    F Me In The Brain said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    HesCalledDyer said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    My wife definitely doesn't give me the third degree when I am hanging out with my buddies.  Every year we have a guys trip somewhere (snowboarding, nd football game, cabin in the woods with beer olympics) and she is cool with all that.  But no girls lol.  
    Your digging yourself into a hole regarding this. Haha. 



    Everyone is just waiting for the ball to drop, and you realizing there is insecurity and jealousy in your relationship. Which is okey. 
    Not me, I am waiting for everyone to understand that every relationship works by its own rules (at least the best ones, imo) and stfu about it.  [Especially people who are unhappily married, divorced, or otherwise single.  It works for him.  Bunch a know-it-alls here.]
    Seriously I have the best relationship ever. I have no clue why I am on the stand. This it works for us. I have zero interest in having female relationships or meeting another woman at the bar. 
    Rock your relationship. 
    This 'I know what works best for you (and everyone else) yet I am single' is blahblahblah. 



    I would like to clarify that that is NOT what I'm saying. I'm simply discussing the concept of men and women being friends and debating the justifications behind this that Scruffy's offering up because I think many, many men would come up with the same reasons, and I want to explore them. But FWIW, most middle ages single people were not always single. We are also surrounded by people in relationships. We do actually know what we're talking about a lot of the time when it comes to relationship dynamics in general. But no, not about each individual's relationship, when we don't even know the person, lol. I did think S_C's comment about it was out of line.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • F Me In The Brain
    F Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,957
    No
    mcgruff10 said:
    F Me In The Brain said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    HesCalledDyer said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    My wife definitely doesn't give me the third degree when I am hanging out with my buddies.  Every year we have a guys trip somewhere (snowboarding, nd football game, cabin in the woods with beer olympics) and she is cool with all that.  But no girls lol.  
    Your digging yourself into a hole regarding this. Haha. 



    Everyone is just waiting for the ball to drop, and you realizing there is insecurity and jealousy in your relationship. Which is okey. 
    Not me, I am waiting for everyone to understand that every relationship works by its own rules (at least the best ones, imo) and stfu about it.  [Especially people who are unhappily married, divorced, or otherwise single.  It works for him.  Bunch a know-it-alls here.]
    Seriously I have the best relationship ever. I have no clue why I am on the stand. This it works for us. I have zero interest in having female relationships or meeting another woman at the bar. 
    What about another man at the bar?

    No judgements, just askin'.  ;)

    :lol:
    The love he receives is the love that is saved

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