Should I ask Agnes out on a date?

njnancy

Yes

OffSheGoes35 said:

mace1229 said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

mace1229 said:

PJ_Soul said:

mcgruff10 said:

PJ_Soul said:

mcgruff10 said:

Spiritual_Chaos said:

PJ_Soul said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

The only thing more romantic than creating a poll in a girl's honor is the "why not, she's cute and fun" sentiment...like you're hitting on someone in an orphanage. 

Good point.

Sounds like you've known her for years S_C, and you've only gotten to the "cute and fun, why not?" stage... maybe she's not for you after all...

Maybe not. But she was open to watching A Nightmare on Elm Street. And at 34 and miserable -- THATS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!

And yeah, I studied with her for two years. And after that we've kept in touch. She even tried to get me a job at her agency. So she's cool. 

Wait, the two of you watched a movie alone? That s a date in my experience. 

I go and see movies with guys all the time, and they're not dates. I just had a man over to my place on Friday night and we watched a movie there. He's a friend. Men and women can do stuff platonically. It's only a date if both parties know it's a date, lol.

Hmmmm interesting. I would assume that would be a date. So spiritual, you watched a movie with this woman, why is it so hard to ask her out?  You need me to fly to Sweden to teach you how to talk to women?

Dates are romantic affairs. If there isn't any romance, it's just two friends hanging out. Don't you have any female friends?

If he's solidly in the friend-zone as far as she is concerned, asking her out could end the friendship. I think that's probably where the concern is....

I went to a movie with a friend in college. The next day she was telling everyone I was her boyfriend.
I avoided her the rest of the semester.
I probably should have handled that differently. 

Did you pay for everything at the movie?

Nope, just for my ticket. And I put the arm rest down between us before we even sat.

Wow. Guess you should've wrapped yourself up like a mummy in yellow Caution tape. 

 That made me spit out my coffee. 

No Coder

PJ_Soul said:

mcgruff10 said:

Annafalk said:

Spiritual_Chaos said:

mcgruff10 said:

PJ_Soul said:

mcgruff10 said:

PJ_Soul said:

mcgruff10 said:

Spiritual_Chaos said:

PJ_Soul said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

The only thing more romantic than creating a poll in a girl's honor is the "why not, she's cute and fun" sentiment...like you're hitting on someone in an orphanage. 

Good point.

Sounds like you've known her for years S_C, and you've only gotten to the "cute and fun, why not?" stage... maybe she's not for you after all...

Maybe not. But she was open to watching A Nightmare on Elm Street. And at 34 and miserable -- THATS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!

And yeah, I studied with her for two years. And after that we've kept in touch. She even tried to get me a job at her agency. So she's cool. 

Wait, the two of you watched a movie alone? That s a date in my experience. 

I go and see movies with guys all the time, and they're not dates. I just had a man over to my place on Friday night and we watched a movie there. He's a friend. Men and women can do stuff platonically. It's only a date if both parties know it's a date, lol.

Hmmmm interesting. I would assume that would be a date. So spiritual, you watched a movie with this woman, why is it so hard to ask her out?  You need me to fly to Sweden to teach you how to talk to women?

Dates are romantic affairs. If there isn't any romance, it's just two friends hanging out. Don't you have any female friends?

If he's solidly in the friend-zone as far as she is concerned, asking her out could end the friendship. I think that's probably where the concern is....

Allie if I told my wife I am going out for a drink or watch a movie with another woman I would probably be calling a divorce lawyer the next day lol. I am friendly with lots of woman at work but I d never meet up with them anywhere alone. That is a recipe for disaster!!

People have friends of another gender...

You never had female buddies in like college or whatever?

Is it another US-Sweden cultural difference? ... hehe

I understand mcgruff10, what he says makes sense to me. If I would go to the movies with one male friend it would be kind of strange towards your partner. It's different if it would be a group of people though.

Agreed, hanging out in a group is very acceptable.  One on one,  yeah no way.

Hell, me and my best friend, a man, go camping together for full weekends alone, and neither of our partners have ever minded, because they knew us and understood our friendship. We also went into the back country on a canoe trip for a week shortly before his wedding (I was his best woman in the ceremony!). His wife doesn't care because me and my best friend hooking up would be about equivalent to us fucking our sibling. Seriously, not every man and women who respect and like each other want to fuck each other. True friendship between men and women is indeed possible. However, I do agree it's not really the norm, just because too many people have a problem separating the opposite sex from the idea of actual sex. I just make sure my good male friends with whom I want to remain friends aren't those types of people, and I'm not either obviously.

Agree, I have female friends that I met through PJ and we quite often go to concerts together and catch up, as we have similar taste in music. My wife could not care less, as she knows what the friendship is about and that our relationship is rock solid.  For the first 1-2 years, my wife hadn't met them, but over the last few years we all catch up together now for dinners/drinks. I still go to concerts with them without my wife though, as she does not like all the music that I like (does like PJ though). 

bbiggs

I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!

darwinstheory

Yes

bbiggs said:

I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!

Can't wait to see the choices we get and the results of the poll.

Spiritual_Chaos

bbiggs said:

I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!

1. I'll do it today...

2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?

Pap

Yes

It's better to regret something you've done than something you haven't.

lastexitlondon

Yes

Pap said:

It's better to regret something you've done than something you haven't.

This ^^^
Come on spiritual go for it. Worst case scenario she is a bit freaked. And you can laugh it off. Best  case..... wooop

23scidoo

mcgruff10

Yes

Spiritual_Chaos said:

bbiggs said:

I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!

1. I'll do it today...

2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?

To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

mcgruff10

Yes

bbiggs said:

I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!

You met my wife briefly and I can tell you she is cool as hell.  We both have nothing to hide and trust each other completely.  I drag her all over the country to see pj and she is fine with it  and genuinely has a good time.  

However, I can not even fathom asking her, hey babe I'm going to get a drink after work with Jen and Mary.  Or, hey can you stay home with the kids so I can check a movie out with Melissa?  Yeah that shit would never fly.  

Wma31394

0mcgruff10 said:

bbiggs said:

I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!

You met my wife briefly and I can tell you she is cool as hell.  We both have nothing to hide and trust each other completely.  I drag her all over the country to see pj and she is fine with it  and genuinely has a good time.  

However, I can not even fathom asking her, hey babe I'm going to get a drink after work with Jen and Mary.  Or, hey can you stay home with the kids so I can check a movie out with Melissa?  Yeah that shit would never fly.  

This..it would never fly at my house!!

Spiritual_Chaos

mcgruff10 said:

bbiggs said:

I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!

You met my wife briefly and I can tell you she is cool as hell.  We both have nothing to hide and trust each other completely.  I drag her all over the country to see pj and she is fine with it  and genuinely has a good time.  

However, I can not even fathom asking her, hey babe I'm going to get a drink after work with Jen and Mary.  Or, hey can you stay home with the kids so I can check a movie out with Melissa?  Yeah that shit would never fly.  

Then maybe you need to talk about your trust issues in your couples therapy? :P

Hehe. 

(I get the concern)

Spiritual_Chaos

mcgruff10 said:

Spiritual_Chaos said:

bbiggs said:

I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!

1. I'll do it today...

2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?

To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

... maybe i have been married :O

bbiggs

Spiritual_Chaos said:

bbiggs said:

I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!

1. I'll do it today...

2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?

1.  Awesome!  Keep us posted!

2.  No, I wouldn’t abandon a friendship because of gender and my wife would be cool about it. I guess I just didn’t have any female friends I was that close with that we continued having dinners, going to movies, etc. this many years down the road. That’s kind of a shame, I suppose. 

bbiggs

mcgruff10 said:

bbiggs said:

I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!

You met my wife briefly and I can tell you she is cool as hell.  We both have nothing to hide and trust each other completely.  I drag her all over the country to see pj and she is fine with it  and genuinely has a good time.  

However, I can not even fathom asking her, hey babe I'm going to get a drink after work with Jen and Mary.  Or, hey can you stay home with the kids so I can check a movie out with Melissa?  Yeah that shit would never fly.  

Exactly, dude. I totally get it. Whether it’s right or wrong can be debated, but that’s just the way it is. I actually started chuckling as I asked myself what my wife would say if I casually called her from work and said, “Hey babe, go ahead and feed the kids and eat without me tonight because I’m grabbing dinner and cocktails with Sally.”  

Spiritual_Chaos

bbiggs said:

Spiritual_Chaos said:

bbiggs said:

I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!

1. I'll do it today...

2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?

1.  Awesome!  Keep us posted!

2.  No, I wouldn’t abandon a friendship because of gender and my wife would be cool about it. I guess I just didn’t have any female friends I was that close with that we continued having dinners, going to movies, etc. this many years down the road. That’s kind of a shame, I suppose. 

GIRLS ROCK

PJ_Soul

Yes

mcgruff10 said:

Spiritual_Chaos said:

bbiggs said:

I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!

1. I'll do it today...

2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?

To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol.

I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!

Spiritual_Chaos

PJ_Soul said:

mcgruff10 said:

Spiritual_Chaos said:

bbiggs said:

I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!

1. I'll do it today...

2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?

To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol.

I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!

You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.

And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.

Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me. 

mcgruff10

Yes

Spiritual_Chaos said:

PJ_Soul said:

mcgruff10 said:

Spiritual_Chaos said:

bbiggs said:

I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!

1. I'll do it today...

2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?

To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol.

I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!

You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.

And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.

Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me. 

It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender.  In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other.  I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex.  Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship.  To each their own.  

Spiritual_Chaos

mcgruff10 said:

Spiritual_Chaos said:

PJ_Soul said:

mcgruff10 said:

Spiritual_Chaos said:

bbiggs said:

I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!

1. I'll do it today...

2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?

To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol.

I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!

You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.

And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.

Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me. 

It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender.  In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other.  I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex.  Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship.  To each their own.  

So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?

lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this.