Should I ask Agnes out on a date?

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  • bbiggsbbiggs Posts: 2,731
    edited October 2018
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

    1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

    2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie! :lol:
    1. I'll do it today...

    2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?
    To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

    Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. :confused: I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol.
    I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
    Here’s a real life situation. I have a female friend/colleague that is a runner. She knows I am as well. So she asked me if I wanted to go for a long run before work as she was training for a half marathon. My initial thought was, “why not?” However, once I thought about it, I opted not to. It just seemed a little bit “off” for me to tell my wife I’m going for a run with a woman she has never met and that it would be just the two of us. Now, this woman is also happily married and she knows I’m the same. There is zero reason for concern. But, I envision a lot of scenarios that wouldn’t play out well. Say one of our friends is out for a run that day as well and sees me running with another woman. They’d probably think something is up. If this was a lifelong friend, obviously it’s a different story. But in this case, it seemed out of bounds so I opted against it. 
    Post edited by bbiggs on
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 44,686
    edited October 2018
    Yes
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

    1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

    2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie! :lol:
    1. I'll do it today...

    2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?
    To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

    Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. :confused: I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol.
    I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
    You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.

    And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.

    Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me. 
    It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender.  In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other.  I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex.  Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship.  To each their own.  
    So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?

    lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this.
    Yeah, if it's not jealousy or a lack of trust (either in yourself and your sexual desires, or on the part of your wife), I can't imagine what it could possibly be. Those seem like the only two possible options to me. Again, we're not talking about female friends you want to fuck... we're talking about women with whom you have only platonic feelings for... Are you saying that platonic feelings between men and women are impossible? Because that's clearly not true, at least not for a lot of people. Perhaps you personally are incapable of that.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 10,232
    edited October 2018
    bbiggs said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

    1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

    2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie! :lol:
    1. I'll do it today...

    2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?
    To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

    Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. :confused: I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol.
    I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
    Here’s a real life situation. I have a female friend/colleague that is a runner. She knows I am as well. So she asked me if I wanted to go for a long run before work as she was training for a half marathon. My initial thought was, “why not?” However, once I thought about it, I opted not to. It just seemed a little bit “off” for me to tell my wife I’m going for a run with a woman she has never met and that it would be just the two of us. Now, this woman is also happily married and she knows I’m the same. There is zero reason for concern. But, I envision a lot of scenarios that wouldn’t play out well. Say one of our friends is out for a run that day as well and sees me running with another woman. They’d probably think something is up. If this was a lifelong friend, obviously it’s a different story. But I’m this case, it seemed out of bounds so I opted against it. 
    That is more important than having a nice run with a friend?

    One of your friends: Hey, Mrs. Bbigs -- I saw ya man running around with another woman?

    Mrs. Bbigs: Yeah, she's training for a half marathon. She seems really cool. 

    One of your friends: Okey. Cool. So are we watching another episode of Fraiser or what?
    The man they call my enemy. I've seen his eyes, he looks just like me - A mirror...
  • bbiggsbbiggs Posts: 2,731
    bbiggs said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

    1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

    2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie! :lol:
    1. I'll do it today...

    2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?
    To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

    Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. :confused: I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol.
    I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
    Here’s a real life situation. I have a female friend/colleague that is a runner. She knows I am as well. So she asked me if I wanted to go for a long run before work as she was training for a half marathon. My initial thought was, “why not?” However, once I thought about it, I opted not to. It just seemed a little bit “off” for me to tell my wife I’m going for a run with a woman she has never met and that it would be just the two of us. Now, this woman is also happily married and she knows I’m the same. There is zero reason for concern. But, I envision a lot of scenarios that wouldn’t play out well. Say one of our friends is out for a run that day as well and sees me running with another woman. They’d probably think something is up. If this was a lifelong friend, obviously it’s a different story. But I’m this case, it seemed out of bounds so I opted against it. 
    That is more important than having a nice run with a friend?

    One of your friends: Hey, Mrs. Bbigs -- I saw ya man running around with another woman?

    Mrs. Bbigs: Yeah, she's training for a half marathon. She seems really cool. 

    One of your friends: Okey. Cool. So are we watching another episode of Fraiser or what?
    Lol. Valid points. I don’t know. Maybe we need to fix this and I need more female friends. 
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New JerseyPosts: 17,447
    Yes
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

    1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

    2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie! :lol:
    1. I'll do it today...

    2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?
    To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

    Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. :confused: I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol.
    I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
    You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.

    And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.

    Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me. 
    It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender.  In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other.  I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex.  Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship.  To each their own.  
    So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?

    lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this.
    Yeah, if it's not jealousy or a lack of trust (either in yourself and your sexual desires, or on the part of your wife), I can't imagine what it could possibly be. Those seem like the only two possible options to me. Again, we're not talking about female friends you want to fuck... we're talking about women with whom you have only platonic feelings for... Are you saying that platonic feelings between men and women are impossible? Because that's clearly not true, at least not for a lot of people. Perhaps you personally are incapable of that.
    No interest.
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 44,686
    Yes
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

    1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

    2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie! :lol:
    1. I'll do it today...

    2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?
    To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

    Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. :confused: I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol.
    I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
    You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.

    And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.

    Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me. 
    It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender.  In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other.  I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex.  Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship.  To each their own.  
    So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?

    lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this.
    Yeah, if it's not jealousy or a lack of trust (either in yourself and your sexual desires, or on the part of your wife), I can't imagine what it could possibly be. Those seem like the only two possible options to me. Again, we're not talking about female friends you want to fuck... we're talking about women with whom you have only platonic feelings for... Are you saying that platonic feelings between men and women are impossible? Because that's clearly not true, at least not for a lot of people. Perhaps you personally are incapable of that.
    No interest.
    No interest in having female friends? ..... I'll take that to mean you aren't interested in their company, which is kinda insulting, lol. But that doesn't explain away the main point you've been making, which is that your wife would find it unacceptable. But anyway, okay, heard. You refuse to have female friends because.... well... as I think said, it's a recipe for disaster, or something like that, lol.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 10,232
    edited October 2018
    nvm
    The man they call my enemy. I've seen his eyes, he looks just like me - A mirror...
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New JerseyPosts: 17,447
    Yes
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

    1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

    2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie! :lol:
    1. I'll do it today...

    2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?
    To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

    Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. :confused: I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol.
    I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
    You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.

    And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.

    Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me. 
    It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender.  In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other.  I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex.  Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship.  To each their own.  
    So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?

    lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this.
    Yeah, if it's not jealousy or a lack of trust (either in yourself and your sexual desires, or on the part of your wife), I can't imagine what it could possibly be. Those seem like the only two possible options to me. Again, we're not talking about female friends you want to fuck... we're talking about women with whom you have only platonic feelings for... Are you saying that platonic feelings between men and women are impossible? Because that's clearly not true, at least not for a lot of people. Perhaps you personally are incapable of that.
    No interest.
    No interest in having female friends? ..... I'll take that to mean you aren't interested in their company, which is kinda insulting, lol. But that doesn't explain away the main point you've been making, which is that your wife would find it unacceptable. But anyway, okay, heard. You refuse to have female friends because.... well... as I think said, it's a recipe for disaster, or something like that, lol.
    And vice versa, I wouldn’t want my wife going out and having a drink with a guy. It is just very odd to me. Maybe it is a New Jersey thing, who knows. 
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • HesCalledDyerHesCalledDyer MarylandPosts: 12,912
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
  • mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

    1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

    2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie! :lol:
    1. I'll do it today...

    2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?
    To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

    Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. :confused: I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol.
    I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
    You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.

    And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.

    Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me. 
    It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender.  In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other.  I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex.  Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship.  To each their own.  
    So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?

    lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this.
    Yeah, if it's not jealousy or a lack of trust (either in yourself and your sexual desires, or on the part of your wife), I can't imagine what it could possibly be. Those seem like the only two possible options to me. Again, we're not talking about female friends you want to fuck... we're talking about women with whom you have only platonic feelings for... Are you saying that platonic feelings between men and women are impossible? Because that's clearly not true, at least not for a lot of people. Perhaps you personally are incapable of that.
    No interest.
    No interest in having female friends? ..... I'll take that to mean you aren't interested in their company, which is kinda insulting, lol. But that doesn't explain away the main point you've been making, which is that your wife would find it unacceptable. But anyway, okay, heard. You refuse to have female friends because.... well... as I think said, it's a recipe for disaster, or something like that, lol.
    And vice versa, I wouldn’t want my wife going out and having a drink with a guy. It is just very odd to me. Maybe it is a New Jersey thing, who knows. 
    Why not?
    The man they call my enemy. I've seen his eyes, he looks just like me - A mirror...
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New JerseyPosts: 17,447
    Yes
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

    1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

    2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie! :lol:
    1. I'll do it today...

    2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?
    To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

    Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. :confused: I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol.
    I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
    You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.

    And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.

    Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me. 
    It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender.  In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other.  I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex.  Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship.  To each their own.  
    So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?

    lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this.
    Yeah, if it's not jealousy or a lack of trust (either in yourself and your sexual desires, or on the part of your wife), I can't imagine what it could possibly be. Those seem like the only two possible options to me. Again, we're not talking about female friends you want to fuck... we're talking about women with whom you have only platonic feelings for... Are you saying that platonic feelings between men and women are impossible? Because that's clearly not true, at least not for a lot of people. Perhaps you personally are incapable of that.
    No interest.
    No interest in having female friends? ..... I'll take that to mean you aren't interested in their company, which is kinda insulting, lol. But that doesn't explain away the main point you've been making, which is that your wife would find it unacceptable. But anyway, okay, heard. You refuse to have female friends because.... well... as I think said, it's a recipe for disaster, or something like that, lol.
    And vice versa, I wouldn’t want my wife going out and having a drink with a guy. It is just very odd to me. Maybe it is a New Jersey thing, who knows. 
    Why not?
    Dude don’t worry about my relationship,go ask your girl out. Or fly me into Sweden and I ll teach you the ways. 

    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

    1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

    2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie! :lol:
    1. I'll do it today...

    2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?
    To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

    Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. :confused: I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol.
    I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
    You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.

    And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.

    Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me. 
    It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender.  In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other.  I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex.  Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship.  To each their own.  
    So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?

    lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this.
    Yeah, if it's not jealousy or a lack of trust (either in yourself and your sexual desires, or on the part of your wife), I can't imagine what it could possibly be. Those seem like the only two possible options to me. Again, we're not talking about female friends you want to fuck... we're talking about women with whom you have only platonic feelings for... Are you saying that platonic feelings between men and women are impossible? Because that's clearly not true, at least not for a lot of people. Perhaps you personally are incapable of that.
    No interest.
    No interest in having female friends? ..... I'll take that to mean you aren't interested in their company, which is kinda insulting, lol. But that doesn't explain away the main point you've been making, which is that your wife would find it unacceptable. But anyway, okay, heard. You refuse to have female friends because.... well... as I think said, it's a recipe for disaster, or something like that, lol.
    And vice versa, I wouldn’t want my wife going out and having a drink with a guy. It is just very odd to me. Maybe it is a New Jersey thing, who knows. 
    Why not?
    Dude don’t worry about my relationship,go ask your girl out. Or fly me into Sweden and I ll teach you the ways. 

    I'm opening up about Agnes. You need to open up that shell of yours. 
    The man they call my enemy. I've seen his eyes, he looks just like me - A mirror...
  • bbiggsbbiggs Posts: 2,731
    Shit is getting deep around here. Lol 
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New JerseyPosts: 17,447
    Yes
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.

    1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.  

    2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it.  On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie! :lol:
    1. I'll do it today...

    2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?
    To answer your second question simply: yes.  I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.

    Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. :confused: I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol.
    I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
    You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.

    And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.

    Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me. 
    It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender.  In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other.  I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex.  Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship.  To each their own.  
    So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?

    lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this.
    Yeah, if it's not jealousy or a lack of trust (either in yourself and your sexual desires, or on the part of your wife), I can't imagine what it could possibly be. Those seem like the only two possible options to me. Again, we're not talking about female friends you want to fuck... we're talking about women with whom you have only platonic feelings for... Are you saying that platonic feelings between men and women are impossible? Because that's clearly not true, at least not for a lot of people. Perhaps you personally are incapable of that.
    No interest.
    No interest in having female friends? ..... I'll take that to mean you aren't interested in their company, which is kinda insulting, lol. But that doesn't explain away the main point you've been making, which is that your wife would find it unacceptable. But anyway, okay, heard. You refuse to have female friends because.... well... as I think said, it's a recipe for disaster, or something like that, lol.
    And vice versa, I wouldn’t want my wife going out and having a drink with a guy. It is just very odd to me. Maybe it is a New Jersey thing, who knows. 
    Why not?
    Dude don’t worry about my relationship,go ask your girl out. Or fly me into Sweden and I ll teach you the ways. 

    I'm opening up about Agnes. You need to open up that shell of yours. 
    There s nothing to open up about, that is just how my relationship is. 

    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 44,686
    Yes
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    I don't know why anyone would stay in a relationship that works that way! I know lots of people (my parents and my sister and bro-in-law included) who pretty much have complete freedom to do what they want in this context. I agree that the majority of traditional relationships do unfortunately suffer from what you're saying. People should stop putting up with that stupidity, or inflicting it upon their partners. Speaking of a recipe for disaster... I would say that one takes the cake!
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • bbiggsbbiggs Posts: 2,731
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 44,686
    edited October 2018
    Yes
    bbiggs said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    By the way, just to stop the sexism here, husbands do the same shit to their wives. And either way, I have no clue why a person would marry someone who would do that. It's bizarre. Do people just not know any better?
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • OffSheGoes35OffSheGoes35 Posts: 1,594
    No
    Marriage is rough enough without bringing what other people think into it. People have all kinds of arrangements that work, if they are both on the same page, why should we care?
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 10,232
    edited October 2018
    Marriage is rough enough without bringing what other people think into it. People have all kinds of arrangements that work, if they are both on the same page, why should we care?
    Because they bring it up. And bring it up as being the norm, or how it should be.

    Whatever works, but there are still mechanisms to why things are like they are - and "it just is" isn't one of those mechanisms.

    AND WHY ARENT WE FOCUSING ON MY MISERABLE LOVELESS LIFE ANYMORE IN THIS THREAD?
    The man they call my enemy. I've seen his eyes, he looks just like me - A mirror...
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 44,686
    Yes
    Marriage is rough enough without bringing what other people think into it. People have all kinds of arrangements that work, if they are both on the same page, why should we care?
    Because they bring it up. And bring it up as being the norm, or how it should be.

    Whatever works, but there are still mechanisms to why things are like they are - and "it just is" isn't one of those mechanisms.

    AND WHY ARENT WE FOCUSING ON MY MISERABLE LOVELESS LIFE ANYMORE IN THIS THREAD?
    We're just in limbo, waiting for you to ask her out!!
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 44,686
    edited October 2018
    Yes
    Marriage is rough enough without bringing what other people think into it. People have all kinds of arrangements that work, if they are both on the same page, why should we care?
    Well with the divorce rates what they are, let's just say we're talking about the arrangements that don't work and where they are not on the same page at all. ;) And I can't speak for others, but I care about exploring relationship issues because it all works towards gaining wisdom about such matters. There are clearly common patterns at play with relationships and how people operate, so it's definitely useful to pay attention to how other people's relationships work.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New JerseyPosts: 17,447
    Yes
    bbiggs said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    My wife definitely doesn't give me the third degree when I am hanging out with my buddies.  Every year we have a guys trip somewhere (snowboarding, nd football game, cabin in the woods with beer olympics) and she is cool with all that.  But no girls lol.  
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 10,232
    edited October 2018
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    My wife definitely doesn't give me the third degree when I am hanging out with my buddies.  Every year we have a guys trip somewhere (snowboarding, nd football game, cabin in the woods with beer olympics) and she is cool with all that.  But no girls lol.  
    Your digging yourself into a hole regarding this. Haha. 



    Everyone is just waiting for the ball to drop, and you realizing there is insecurity and jealousy in your relationship. Which is okey. 
    Post edited by Spiritual_Chaos on
    The man they call my enemy. I've seen his eyes, he looks just like me - A mirror...
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commetsPosts: 14,696
    No


    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commetsPosts: 14,696
    No
    (Thanks for the tip)
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • bbiggsbbiggs Posts: 2,731
    PJ_Soul said:
    bbiggs said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    By the way, just to stop the sexism here, husbands do the same shit to their wives. And either way, I have no clue why a person would marry someone who would do that. It's bizarre. Do people just not know any better?
    Agreed that it works both ways. My wife is cool with me going out with my friends anytime and vice versa. It’s healthy that way. 
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New JerseyPosts: 17,447
    Yes
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    My wife definitely doesn't give me the third degree when I am hanging out with my buddies.  Every year we have a guys trip somewhere (snowboarding, nd football game, cabin in the woods with beer olympics) and she is cool with all that.  But no girls lol.  
    Your digging yourself into a hole regarding this. Haha. 



    Everyone is just waiting for the ball to drop, and you realizing there is insecurity and jealousy in your relationship. Which is okey. 
    Huh?  Ball to drop?  I honestly have the perfect marriage. It is all good. We both have zero to worry about. Just no need to hang with the opposite sex. 
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 10,232
    edited October 2018


    That's the boy from Wes Craven's New Nightmare.


    The man they call my enemy. I've seen his eyes, he looks just like me - A mirror...
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New JerseyPosts: 17,447
    Yes
    In my head I am going through all my friends and family and literally none of them have friends of the opposite gender. Maybe you guys are in the minority, not me. 
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife."  This is why I stay single.
    Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her. :) 
    My wife definitely doesn't give me the third degree when I am hanging out with my buddies.  Every year we have a guys trip somewhere (snowboarding, nd football game, cabin in the woods with beer olympics) and she is cool with all that.  But no girls lol.  
    Your digging yourself into a hole regarding this. Haha. 



    Everyone is just waiting for the ball to drop, and you realizing there is insecurity and jealousy in your relationship. Which is okey. 
    Huh?  Ball to drop?  I honestly have the perfect marriage. It is all good. We both have zero to worry about. Just no need to hang with the opposite sex. 
    And why is that, this barrier between you and hanging out with people of the opposite sex?
    The man they call my enemy. I've seen his eyes, he looks just like me - A mirror...
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