My wife and I took a half a vacation day today together. I can’t imagine spending that time with another woman.
Could you imagine spending time with a friend?
Exactly. Or any other time you may have.
Seriously, this really does come off as sexist. It's at the very least saying that you can't conceive any relationship with a woman that isn't romantic or somehow sexually charged. Why else would you be comparing a female friend to your wife?
Sexist? Nah, just in love with my wife.
Pansy.
This weekend My buddy is eating at Regina s pizza in Boston. Have you ever tried it?
North End Regina is good. As is Eastie Santarpio’s.
My wife and I took a half a vacation day today together. I can’t imagine spending that time with another woman.
Could you imagine spending time with a friend?
Exactly. Or any other time you may have.
Seriously, this really does come off as sexist. It's at the very least saying that you can't conceive any relationship with a woman that isn't romantic or somehow sexually charged. Why else would you be comparing a female friend to your wife?
Sexist? Nah, just in love with my wife.
What does your love for your wife have to do with other friendships? That's the point. That's why it's sexist. If we were talking about you hanging out with one of your buddies you wouldn't be mentioning your wife. Sorry, I'm not trying to argue with you... it's just so.... sexist. IMO.
I don’t think it’s sexist. There are a lot of women who are married that wouldn’t spend time one on one with another guy either. I think it’s the same from both sides. Or it’s sexist from both sides then.
Yes, absolutely that would be sexist if a woman did the same thing. Obviously. It's a sexist problem no matter who is refusing to be friends with someone based on their gender.
That’s fair. I still don’t think it’s sexist though.
I'm not sure what else you could call refusing to be friends with
someone based solely on their gender and/or the inability to view people of the
opposite sex outside of a sexualized/romanticized context. That's sexist my definition. It's something
people should try to change. To me it already seems super old fashioned.
I hope this silliness doesn't exist at all for the next generation or
the one after that, because it's fucking stupid and sexist and shows
there's a long way to go before the sexes respect each other properly..... At least the LGBTQ community seems to have gotten past it for the most part.
It’s not a lack of respect for the opposite gender. It’s showing respect to your spouse. As much as I trust my wife, I wouldn’t love the idea of her having a dinner, drinks, movie night with any man except me (or her father).
I really just don't understand how you're not seeing the sexism involved here. And yes, if you or your spouse are incapable of considering a friendship with the opposite sex without feeling jealously like what you just described, I do think that's a general issue of respect for the opposite gender. I mean, you not wanting your wife to hang out with a male friend because you want that man to be only yourself or her blood relatives, that is a pure sense of possession of jealously. There is no other possible explanation behind that. The only reason this doesn't feel sexist to you, nor like a form of jealousy, is because it's normalized thinking. To me it's old fashioned normalized thinking, but normalized thinking all the same. Societies can be very slow to change such traditional perspectives.
Well, I have been called an old soul before.
Yeah call me old fashioned too. I am fine with that. I think some things can be old fashioned and still be ok.
My wife and I took a half a vacation day today together. I can’t imagine spending that time with another woman.
Could you imagine spending time with a friend?
Exactly. Or any other time you may have.
Seriously, this really does come off as sexist. It's at the very least saying that you can't conceive any relationship with a woman that isn't romantic or somehow sexually charged. Why else would you be comparing a female friend to your wife?
Sexist? Nah, just in love with my wife.
What does your love for your wife have to do with other friendships? That's the point. That's why it's sexist. If we were talking about you hanging out with one of your buddies you wouldn't be mentioning your wife. Sorry, I'm not trying to argue with you... it's just so.... sexist. IMO.
I don’t think it’s sexist. There are a lot of women who are married that wouldn’t spend time one on one with another guy either. I think it’s the same from both sides. Or it’s sexist from both sides then.
Yes, absolutely that would be sexist if a woman did the same thing. Obviously. It's a sexist problem no matter who is refusing to be friends with someone based on their gender.
That’s fair. I still don’t think it’s sexist though.
I'm not sure what else you could call refusing to be friends with
someone based solely on their gender and/or the inability to view people of the
opposite sex outside of a sexualized/romanticized context. That's sexist my definition. It's something
people should try to change. To me it already seems super old fashioned.
I hope this silliness doesn't exist at all for the next generation or
the one after that, because it's fucking stupid and sexist and shows
there's a long way to go before the sexes respect each other properly..... At least the LGBTQ community seems to have gotten past it for the most part.
It’s not a lack of respect for the opposite gender. It’s showing respect to your spouse. As much as I trust my wife, I wouldn’t love the idea of her having a dinner, drinks, movie night with any man except me (or her father).
I really just don't understand how you're not seeing the sexism involved here. And yes, if you or your spouse are incapable of considering a friendship with the opposite sex without feeling jealously like what you just described, I do think that's a general issue of respect for the opposite gender. I mean, you not wanting your wife to hang out with a male friend because you want that man to be only yourself or her blood relatives, that is a pure sense of possession of jealously. There is no other possible explanation behind that. The only reason this doesn't feel sexist to you, nor like a form of jealousy, is because it's normalized thinking. To me it's old fashioned normalized thinking, but normalized thinking all the same. Societies can be very slow to change such traditional perspectives.
Well, I have been called an old soul before.
Ha! Well good for you.
And FWIW, I'm not saying any of this to hammer you or Scruffy or anyone else about being galdarned sexists. I personally don't exactly blame people for this thinking - it's pretty deeply rooted in our society still, although I do think people should try to open their minds about it more. Just from this thread I feel that people have really bricked themselves into this whole "I can only be friends with other men/women" idea, which disappoints me (and irks me because of the sexism involved, and the whole "us and them" mentality). I'm just making such a big point of it and calling it how I see it because, like I said, I'm hoping for the thinking around this issue to evolve. I don't expect that to happen over night. Also, this view point of mine does NOT discount justified distrust or jealously. There are PLENTY of men and women out there who are ready and willing to cheat and/or seduce someone under the guise of friendship. I'm of course only talking about the genuine, trustworthy cases of friendship here. I just think people need to learn how to recognize the difference. It IS possible, if only people would drop the blanket thinking patterns surrounding male/female friendships.
Post edited by PJ_Soul on
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
My wife and I took a half a vacation day today together. I can’t imagine spending that time with another woman.
Could you imagine spending time with a friend?
Exactly. Or any other time you may have.
Seriously, this really does come off as sexist. It's at the very least saying that you can't conceive any relationship with a woman that isn't romantic or somehow sexually charged. Why else would you be comparing a female friend to your wife?
Sexist? Nah, just in love with my wife.
What does your love for your wife have to do with other friendships? That's the point. That's why it's sexist. If we were talking about you hanging out with one of your buddies you wouldn't be mentioning your wife. Sorry, I'm not trying to argue with you... it's just so.... sexist. IMO.
I don’t think it’s sexist. There are a lot of women who are married that wouldn’t spend time one on one with another guy either. I think it’s the same from both sides. Or it’s sexist from both sides then.
Yes, absolutely that would be sexist if a woman did the same thing. Obviously. It's a sexist problem no matter who is refusing to be friends with someone based on their gender.
That’s fair. I still don’t think it’s sexist though.
I'm not sure what else you could call refusing to be friends with
someone based solely on their gender and/or the inability to view people of the
opposite sex outside of a sexualized/romanticized context. That's sexist my definition. It's something
people should try to change. To me it already seems super old fashioned.
I hope this silliness doesn't exist at all for the next generation or
the one after that, because it's fucking stupid and sexist and shows
there's a long way to go before the sexes respect each other properly..... At least the LGBTQ community seems to have gotten past it for the most part.
It’s not a lack of respect for the opposite gender. It’s showing respect to your spouse. As much as I trust my wife, I wouldn’t love the idea of her having a dinner, drinks, movie night with any man except me (or her father).
I really just don't understand how you're not seeing the sexism involved here. And yes, if you or your spouse are incapable of considering a friendship with the opposite sex without feeling jealously like what you just described, I do think that's a general issue of respect for the opposite gender. I mean, you not wanting your wife to hang out with a male friend because you want that man to be only yourself or her blood relatives, that is a pure sense of possession of jealously. There is no other possible explanation behind that. The only reason this doesn't feel sexist to you, nor like a form of jealousy, is because it's normalized thinking. To me it's old fashioned normalized thinking, but normalized thinking all the same. Societies can be very slow to change such traditional perspectives.
Well, I have been called an old soul before.
Yeah call me old fashioned too. I am fine with that. I think some things can be old fashioned and still be ok.
I'm not sure anything that is sexist is ultimately okay. But I don't expect social constructs like this to change overnight.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
Hey now, maybe she is just taking time to think about it, Mr. Negative. Or is all nervous and shit, and trying to figure out a good way to respond, lol. You never know. It ain't over until the fat lady (Agnes) sings.
I agree it's McGruff's fault though.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
Question: is it socially acceptable to ask someone out on a date via text? I ve been out of the game for awhile.
I think it is? I personally think a phone call is the way to go, but I think the idea of a real person-to-person phone call is going the way of the dodo.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
Question: is it socially acceptable to ask someone out on a date via text? I ve been out of the game for awhile.
I think it is? I personally think a phone call is the way to go, but I think the idea of a real person-to-person phone call is going the way of the dodo.
I agree with you unfortunately. And this is why the next generation will be socially awkward and only able to communicate by tapping their thumbs against a screen. They won’t be able to carry on a normal conversation. There’s my old-fashioned thinking again, damn it!
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Aaand.... not even going to try to post a gif for that.
This is your fault @mcgruff10 - I don't know why, and I don't know how but somehow it is.
@dankind was it your phone I sent those photos too?!