Should I ask Agnes out on a date?
Comments
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Here’s a real life situation. I have a female friend/colleague that is a runner. She knows I am as well. So she asked me if I wanted to go for a long run before work as she was training for a half marathon. My initial thought was, “why not?” However, once I thought about it, I opted not to. It just seemed a little bit “off” for me to tell my wife I’m going for a run with a woman she has never met and that it would be just the two of us. Now, this woman is also happily married and she knows I’m the same. There is zero reason for concern. But, I envision a lot of scenarios that wouldn’t play out well. Say one of our friends is out for a run that day as well and sees me running with another woman. They’d probably think something is up. If this was a lifelong friend, obviously it’s a different story. But in this case, it seemed out of bounds so I opted against it.PJ_Soul said:mcgruff10 said:
To answer your second question simply: yes. I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.Spiritual_Chaos said:
1. I'll do it today...bbiggs said:I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.
1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.
2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it. On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!
2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine.
I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol. I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!Post edited by bbiggs on0 -
Yes
Yeah, if it's not jealousy or a lack of trust (either in yourself and your sexual desires, or on the part of your wife), I can't imagine what it could possibly be. Those seem like the only two possible options to me. Again, we're not talking about female friends you want to fuck... we're talking about women with whom you have only platonic feelings for... Are you saying that platonic feelings between men and women are impossible? Because that's clearly not true, at least not for a lot of people. Perhaps you personally are incapable of that.Spiritual_Chaos said:
So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?mcgruff10 said:
It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender. In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other. I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex. Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship. To each their own.Spiritual_Chaos said:
You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.PJ_Soul said:mcgruff10 said:
To answer your second question simply: yes. I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.Spiritual_Chaos said:
1. I'll do it today...bbiggs said:I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.
1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.
2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it. On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!
2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol. I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.
Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me.
lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this.
Post edited by PJ_Soul onWith all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata0 -
That is more important than having a nice run with a friend?bbiggs said:
Here’s a real life situation. I have a female friend/colleague that is a runner. She knows I am as well. So she asked me if I wanted to go for a long run before work as she was training for a half marathon. My initial thought was, “why not?” However, once I thought about it, I opted not to. It just seemed a little bit “off” for me to tell my wife I’m going for a run with a woman she has never met and that it would be just the two of us. Now, this woman is also happily married and she knows I’m the same. There is zero reason for concern. But, I envision a lot of scenarios that wouldn’t play out well. Say one of our friends is out for a run that day as well and sees me running with another woman. They’d probably think something is up. If this was a lifelong friend, obviously it’s a different story. But I’m this case, it seemed out of bounds so I opted against it.PJ_Soul said:mcgruff10 said:
To answer your second question simply: yes. I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.Spiritual_Chaos said:
1. I'll do it today...bbiggs said:I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.
1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.
2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it. On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!
2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol. I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
One of your friends: Hey, Mrs. Bbigs -- I saw ya man running around with another woman?
Mrs. Bbigs: Yeah, she's training for a half marathon. She seems really cool.
One of your friends: Okey. Cool. So are we watching another episode of Fraiser or what?"Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"0 -
Lol. Valid points. I don’t know. Maybe we need to fix this and I need more female friends.Spiritual_Chaos said:
That is more important than having a nice run with a friend?bbiggs said:
Here’s a real life situation. I have a female friend/colleague that is a runner. She knows I am as well. So she asked me if I wanted to go for a long run before work as she was training for a half marathon. My initial thought was, “why not?” However, once I thought about it, I opted not to. It just seemed a little bit “off” for me to tell my wife I’m going for a run with a woman she has never met and that it would be just the two of us. Now, this woman is also happily married and she knows I’m the same. There is zero reason for concern. But, I envision a lot of scenarios that wouldn’t play out well. Say one of our friends is out for a run that day as well and sees me running with another woman. They’d probably think something is up. If this was a lifelong friend, obviously it’s a different story. But I’m this case, it seemed out of bounds so I opted against it.PJ_Soul said:mcgruff10 said:
To answer your second question simply: yes. I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.Spiritual_Chaos said:
1. I'll do it today...bbiggs said:I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.
1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.
2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it. On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!
2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol. I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
One of your friends: Hey, Mrs. Bbigs -- I saw ya man running around with another woman?
Mrs. Bbigs: Yeah, she's training for a half marathon. She seems really cool.
One of your friends: Okey. Cool. So are we watching another episode of Fraiser or what?0 -
Yes
No interest.PJ_Soul said:
Yeah, if it's not jealousy or a lack of trust (either in yourself and your sexual desires, or on the part of your wife), I can't imagine what it could possibly be. Those seem like the only two possible options to me. Again, we're not talking about female friends you want to fuck... we're talking about women with whom you have only platonic feelings for... Are you saying that platonic feelings between men and women are impossible? Because that's clearly not true, at least not for a lot of people. Perhaps you personally are incapable of that.Spiritual_Chaos said:
So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?mcgruff10 said:
It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender. In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other. I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex. Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship. To each their own.Spiritual_Chaos said:
You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.PJ_Soul said:mcgruff10 said:
To answer your second question simply: yes. I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.Spiritual_Chaos said:
1. I'll do it today...bbiggs said:I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.
1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.
2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it. On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!
2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol. I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.
Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me.
lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this.I'll ride the wave where it takes me......0 -
Yes
No interest in having female friends? ..... I'll take that to mean you aren't interested in their company, which is kinda insulting, lol. But that doesn't explain away the main point you've been making, which is that your wife would find it unacceptable. But anyway, okay, heard. You refuse to have female friends because.... well... as I think said, it's a recipe for disaster, or something like that, lol.mcgruff10 said:
No interest.PJ_Soul said:
Yeah, if it's not jealousy or a lack of trust (either in yourself and your sexual desires, or on the part of your wife), I can't imagine what it could possibly be. Those seem like the only two possible options to me. Again, we're not talking about female friends you want to fuck... we're talking about women with whom you have only platonic feelings for... Are you saying that platonic feelings between men and women are impossible? Because that's clearly not true, at least not for a lot of people. Perhaps you personally are incapable of that.Spiritual_Chaos said:
So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?mcgruff10 said:
It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender. In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other. I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex. Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship. To each their own.Spiritual_Chaos said:
You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.PJ_Soul said:mcgruff10 said:
To answer your second question simply: yes. I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.Spiritual_Chaos said:
1. I'll do it today...bbiggs said:I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.
1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.
2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it. On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!
2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol. I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.
Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me.
lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata0 -
nvm
"Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"0 -
Yes
And vice versa, I wouldn’t want my wife going out and having a drink with a guy. It is just very odd to me. Maybe it is a New Jersey thing, who knows.PJ_Soul said:
No interest in having female friends? ..... I'll take that to mean you aren't interested in their company, which is kinda insulting, lol. But that doesn't explain away the main point you've been making, which is that your wife would find it unacceptable. But anyway, okay, heard. You refuse to have female friends because.... well... as I think said, it's a recipe for disaster, or something like that, lol.mcgruff10 said:
No interest.PJ_Soul said:
Yeah, if it's not jealousy or a lack of trust (either in yourself and your sexual desires, or on the part of your wife), I can't imagine what it could possibly be. Those seem like the only two possible options to me. Again, we're not talking about female friends you want to fuck... we're talking about women with whom you have only platonic feelings for... Are you saying that platonic feelings between men and women are impossible? Because that's clearly not true, at least not for a lot of people. Perhaps you personally are incapable of that.Spiritual_Chaos said:
So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?mcgruff10 said:
It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender. In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other. I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex. Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship. To each their own.Spiritual_Chaos said:
You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.PJ_Soul said:mcgruff10 said:
To answer your second question simply: yes. I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.Spiritual_Chaos said:
1. I'll do it today...bbiggs said:I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.
1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.
2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it. On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!
2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol. I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.
Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me.
lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this.I'll ride the wave where it takes me......0 -
Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife." This is why I stay single.
Star Lake 00 / Pittsburgh 03 / State College 03 / Bristow 03 / Cleveland 06 / Camden II 06 / DC 08 / Pittsburgh 13 / Baltimore 13 / Charlottesville 13 / Cincinnati 14 / St. Paul 14 / Hampton 16 / Wrigley I 16 / Wrigley II 16 / Baltimore 20 / Camden 22 / Baltimore 24 / Raleigh I 25 / Raleigh II 25 / Pittsburgh I 250 -
Why not?mcgruff10 said:
And vice versa, I wouldn’t want my wife going out and having a drink with a guy. It is just very odd to me. Maybe it is a New Jersey thing, who knows.PJ_Soul said:
No interest in having female friends? ..... I'll take that to mean you aren't interested in their company, which is kinda insulting, lol. But that doesn't explain away the main point you've been making, which is that your wife would find it unacceptable. But anyway, okay, heard. You refuse to have female friends because.... well... as I think said, it's a recipe for disaster, or something like that, lol.mcgruff10 said:
No interest.PJ_Soul said:
Yeah, if it's not jealousy or a lack of trust (either in yourself and your sexual desires, or on the part of your wife), I can't imagine what it could possibly be. Those seem like the only two possible options to me. Again, we're not talking about female friends you want to fuck... we're talking about women with whom you have only platonic feelings for... Are you saying that platonic feelings between men and women are impossible? Because that's clearly not true, at least not for a lot of people. Perhaps you personally are incapable of that.Spiritual_Chaos said:
So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?mcgruff10 said:
It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender. In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other. I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex. Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship. To each their own.Spiritual_Chaos said:
You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.PJ_Soul said:mcgruff10 said:
To answer your second question simply: yes. I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.Spiritual_Chaos said:
1. I'll do it today...bbiggs said:I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.
1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.
2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it. On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!
2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol. I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.
Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me.
lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this."Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"0 -
Yes
Dude don’t worry about my relationship,go ask your girl out. Or fly me into Sweden and I ll teach you the ways.Spiritual_Chaos said:
Why not?mcgruff10 said:
And vice versa, I wouldn’t want my wife going out and having a drink with a guy. It is just very odd to me. Maybe it is a New Jersey thing, who knows.PJ_Soul said:
No interest in having female friends? ..... I'll take that to mean you aren't interested in their company, which is kinda insulting, lol. But that doesn't explain away the main point you've been making, which is that your wife would find it unacceptable. But anyway, okay, heard. You refuse to have female friends because.... well... as I think said, it's a recipe for disaster, or something like that, lol.mcgruff10 said:
No interest.PJ_Soul said:
Yeah, if it's not jealousy or a lack of trust (either in yourself and your sexual desires, or on the part of your wife), I can't imagine what it could possibly be. Those seem like the only two possible options to me. Again, we're not talking about female friends you want to fuck... we're talking about women with whom you have only platonic feelings for... Are you saying that platonic feelings between men and women are impossible? Because that's clearly not true, at least not for a lot of people. Perhaps you personally are incapable of that.Spiritual_Chaos said:
So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?mcgruff10 said:
It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender. In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other. I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex. Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship. To each their own.Spiritual_Chaos said:
You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.PJ_Soul said:mcgruff10 said:
To answer your second question simply: yes. I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.Spiritual_Chaos said:
1. I'll do it today...bbiggs said:I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.
1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.
2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it. On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!
2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol. I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.
Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me.
lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this.
I'll ride the wave where it takes me......0 -
I'm opening up about Agnes. You need to open up that shell of yours.mcgruff10 said:
Dude don’t worry about my relationship,go ask your girl out. Or fly me into Sweden and I ll teach you the ways.Spiritual_Chaos said:
Why not?mcgruff10 said:
And vice versa, I wouldn’t want my wife going out and having a drink with a guy. It is just very odd to me. Maybe it is a New Jersey thing, who knows.PJ_Soul said:
No interest in having female friends? ..... I'll take that to mean you aren't interested in their company, which is kinda insulting, lol. But that doesn't explain away the main point you've been making, which is that your wife would find it unacceptable. But anyway, okay, heard. You refuse to have female friends because.... well... as I think said, it's a recipe for disaster, or something like that, lol.mcgruff10 said:
No interest.PJ_Soul said:
Yeah, if it's not jealousy or a lack of trust (either in yourself and your sexual desires, or on the part of your wife), I can't imagine what it could possibly be. Those seem like the only two possible options to me. Again, we're not talking about female friends you want to fuck... we're talking about women with whom you have only platonic feelings for... Are you saying that platonic feelings between men and women are impossible? Because that's clearly not true, at least not for a lot of people. Perhaps you personally are incapable of that.Spiritual_Chaos said:
So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?mcgruff10 said:
It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender. In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other. I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex. Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship. To each their own.Spiritual_Chaos said:
You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.PJ_Soul said:mcgruff10 said:
To answer your second question simply: yes. I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.Spiritual_Chaos said:
1. I'll do it today...bbiggs said:I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.
1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.
2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it. On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!
2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol. I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.
Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me.
lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this."Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"0 -
Shit is getting deep around here. Lol0
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Yes
There s nothing to open up about, that is just how my relationship is.Spiritual_Chaos said:
I'm opening up about Agnes. You need to open up that shell of yours.mcgruff10 said:
Dude don’t worry about my relationship,go ask your girl out. Or fly me into Sweden and I ll teach you the ways.Spiritual_Chaos said:
Why not?mcgruff10 said:
And vice versa, I wouldn’t want my wife going out and having a drink with a guy. It is just very odd to me. Maybe it is a New Jersey thing, who knows.PJ_Soul said:
No interest in having female friends? ..... I'll take that to mean you aren't interested in their company, which is kinda insulting, lol. But that doesn't explain away the main point you've been making, which is that your wife would find it unacceptable. But anyway, okay, heard. You refuse to have female friends because.... well... as I think said, it's a recipe for disaster, or something like that, lol.mcgruff10 said:
No interest.PJ_Soul said:
Yeah, if it's not jealousy or a lack of trust (either in yourself and your sexual desires, or on the part of your wife), I can't imagine what it could possibly be. Those seem like the only two possible options to me. Again, we're not talking about female friends you want to fuck... we're talking about women with whom you have only platonic feelings for... Are you saying that platonic feelings between men and women are impossible? Because that's clearly not true, at least not for a lot of people. Perhaps you personally are incapable of that.Spiritual_Chaos said:
So, what is the issue if not being jealous or insecure? Or some religious dogma?mcgruff10 said:
It isn't a jealous issue at all, but in my relationship there is no point to have friends like that of the opposite gender. In my relationship we do things like going to the movies with each other. I could get a beer or go snowboarding with my buddies (all male) but I wouldn't ever do something like that with the opposite sex. Hey it works for me, I couldn't be happier in my relationship. To each their own.Spiritual_Chaos said:
You can't remove jealousy from the equation. Some people don't have a problem and some have it. Some people are secure and some people are insecure, for whatever reason. But there is a balance ofc. You can't be a slave to your partners jealously, if it is a destructive force in the relationship.PJ_Soul said:mcgruff10 said:
To answer your second question simply: yes. I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.Spiritual_Chaos said:
1. I'll do it today...bbiggs said:I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.
1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.
2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it. On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!
2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol. I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
And not being able to hang around friends of another gender gives me a bit of Mike Pence vibes. But I also get it, if jealously is a factor in the relationship.
Anywho, if a female friend would want to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street with ME, that is A-okey. Aint got no woman controlling me.
lay down on the couch mcgruff, lets dissect this.
I'll ride the wave where it takes me......0 -
Yes
I don't know why anyone would stay in a relationship that works that way! I know lots of people (my parents and my sister and bro-in-law included) who pretty much have complete freedom to do what they want in this context. I agree that the majority of traditional relationships do unfortunately suffer from what you're saying. People should stop putting up with that stupidity, or inflicting it upon their partners. Speaking of a recipe for disaster... I would say that one takes the cake!HesCalledDyer said:Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife." This is why I stay single.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata0 -
Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her.HesCalledDyer said:Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife." This is why I stay single.
0 -
Yes
By the way, just to stop the sexism here, husbands do the same shit to their wives. And either way, I have no clue why a person would marry someone who would do that. It's bizarre. Do people just not know any better?bbiggs said:
Sadly, this is accurate for most. I’d divorce my wife if she was this way. Although, I knew she wasn’t which is one of the many reasons that I married her.HesCalledDyer said:Most of the time a man can't even go out with his male buddies and have drinks or play golf or whatever without getting the third degree from "the wife." This is why I stay single.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata0 -
NoMarriage is rough enough without bringing what other people think into it. People have all kinds of arrangements that work, if they are both on the same page, why should we care?0
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Because they bring it up. And bring it up as being the norm, or how it should be.OffSheGoes35 said:Marriage is rough enough without bringing what other people think into it. People have all kinds of arrangements that work, if they are both on the same page, why should we care?
Whatever works, but there are still mechanisms to why things are like they are - and "it just is" isn't one of those mechanisms.
AND WHY ARENT WE FOCUSING ON MY MISERABLE LOVELESS LIFE ANYMORE IN THIS THREAD?"Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"0 -
YesSpiritual_Chaos said:
Because they bring it up. And bring it up as being the norm, or how it should be.OffSheGoes35 said:Marriage is rough enough without bringing what other people think into it. People have all kinds of arrangements that work, if they are both on the same page, why should we care?
Whatever works, but there are still mechanisms to why things are like they are - and "it just is" isn't one of those mechanisms.
AND WHY ARENT WE FOCUSING ON MY MISERABLE LOVELESS LIFE ANYMORE IN THIS THREAD?We're just in limbo, waiting for you to ask her out!!With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata0
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