Should I ask Agnes out on a date?

bbiggs

rgambs said:

bbiggs said:

And for the record, there’s no greater joy in life than raising kids imo. I definitely enjoy some “Brian time,” but I’d be bored as shit at this stage of my life without kids. 

I find it hard to agree with this completely.  It ignores the fact that there is also no greater pain in life than watching your child suffer and there's no greater fear than the fear that your child is going to suffer.

Correct. I’m referring to the joy aspect alone. If, God forbid, my children were suffering for any reason, it would also bring me no greater pain. That kind of goes without saying (for me). And I try to live without fear and not worry about things I cannot control. Sometimes easier said than done. If I spent my time fearing what the future had in store for my kids, or anyone for that matter, it would be a pretty dark place. The world is fucked up in 2018. 

bbiggs

HughFreakingDillon said:

rgambs said:

bbiggs said:

And for the record, there’s no greater joy in life than raising kids imo. I definitely enjoy some “Brian time,” but I’d be bored as shit at this stage of my life without kids. 

I find it hard to agree with this completely.  It ignores the fact that there is also no greater pain in life than watching your child suffer and there's no greater fear than the fear that your child is going to suffer.

it doesn't ignore it. it takes it into account and realizes that even with all that, it is still a net positive. 

as a father of a child with a chronic incurable disease, I can attest to this. 

Precisely. 

dankind

Yes

I learned everything I need to know about being a good parent from Willie T. Sokes.

Spiritual_Chaos

Me and Agnes will never have children.

dankind

Yes

https://youtu.be/CZ_Z0Zfvsj0

bbiggs

Spiritual_Chaos said:

Me and Agnes will never have children.

LOL. Way to bring back the thread integrity. 

HughFreakingDillon

PJ_Soul said:

Is there any such thing as a content and happy heroin addict??

yeah, I'd say that's a pretty poor example. 

HughFreakingDillon

rgambs said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

PJ_Soul said:

Why do you think that people without kids and lots of free time waste their time?? I do indeed have tons of free time, which I relish, and I'm not wasting my life, thanks.

I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about people in real life.
Watching dancing with the stars and shopping for junk at outlet malls and flea markets is a waste of a life, whether a person is content with it or not, IMO.

In real life, I have tons of free time and am not wasting it, lol.

I figure that whatever makes a person content and satisfied in life is never a waste of time or a life. Who are we to judge how someone finds contentment in their own life?? Now if someone is lying there on the couch watching garbage TV all the time and they're miserable and depressed and fucking hate themselves for it, then that's a waste, yes (and they should really talk to a professional about it). But if they're content and happy doing that? Or get real joy out of going to flea markets everyday? Not at all. IMO.

I would agree. saying someone who is content and happy is wasting their life because it doesn't fit your definition of a full life is assinine.  

It's not asinine, you just don't like it.  Wouldn't you be perfectly willing to consider a life wasted if it was spent languishing in a heroin stupor?  It makes them content and happy, but you'd still consider it a waste.  
I draw the line a few miles from there, but it's not as extreme as it sounds, I know people way more extreme than that.
People who live in a way that is essentially, if you aren't on the edge you are taking up too much space.

I stand by it. alright, assinine may have been a bit strong, but I still find it ridiculous that a content life is a wasted life. that makes zero sense. 

the entire point of life is to be happy, not someone else's version of happy. 

kce8

Spiritual_Chaos said:

Me and Agnes will never have children.

You'll find someone, just don't give up. 

bootlegger10

Yes

HughFreakingDillon said:

rgambs said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

PJ_Soul said:

Why do you think that people without kids and lots of free time waste their time?? I do indeed have tons of free time, which I relish, and I'm not wasting my life, thanks.

I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about people in real life.
Watching dancing with the stars and shopping for junk at outlet malls and flea markets is a waste of a life, whether a person is content with it or not, IMO.

In real life, I have tons of free time and am not wasting it, lol.

I figure that whatever makes a person content and satisfied in life is never a waste of time or a life. Who are we to judge how someone finds contentment in their own life?? Now if someone is lying there on the couch watching garbage TV all the time and they're miserable and depressed and fucking hate themselves for it, then that's a waste, yes (and they should really talk to a professional about it). But if they're content and happy doing that? Or get real joy out of going to flea markets everyday? Not at all. IMO.

I would agree. saying someone who is content and happy is wasting their life because it doesn't fit your definition of a full life is assinine.  

It's not asinine, you just don't like it.  Wouldn't you be perfectly willing to consider a life wasted if it was spent languishing in a heroin stupor?  It makes them content and happy, but you'd still consider it a waste.  
I draw the line a few miles from there, but it's not as extreme as it sounds, I know people way more extreme than that.
People who live in a way that is essentially, if you aren't on the edge you are taking up too much space.

I stand by it. alright, assinine may have been a bit strong, but I still find it ridiculous that a content life is a wasted life. that makes zero sense. 

the entire point of life is to be happy, not someone else's version of happy. 

Is that the point of life?  If we are just a collection of cells that result from a big bang millions of years ago, is there a point at all to life?  

bbiggs

bootlegger10 said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

rgambs said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

PJ_Soul said:

Why do you think that people without kids and lots of free time waste their time?? I do indeed have tons of free time, which I relish, and I'm not wasting my life, thanks.

I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about people in real life.
Watching dancing with the stars and shopping for junk at outlet malls and flea markets is a waste of a life, whether a person is content with it or not, IMO.

In real life, I have tons of free time and am not wasting it, lol.

I figure that whatever makes a person content and satisfied in life is never a waste of time or a life. Who are we to judge how someone finds contentment in their own life?? Now if someone is lying there on the couch watching garbage TV all the time and they're miserable and depressed and fucking hate themselves for it, then that's a waste, yes (and they should really talk to a professional about it). But if they're content and happy doing that? Or get real joy out of going to flea markets everyday? Not at all. IMO.

I would agree. saying someone who is content and happy is wasting their life because it doesn't fit your definition of a full life is assinine.  

It's not asinine, you just don't like it.  Wouldn't you be perfectly willing to consider a life wasted if it was spent languishing in a heroin stupor?  It makes them content and happy, but you'd still consider it a waste.  
I draw the line a few miles from there, but it's not as extreme as it sounds, I know people way more extreme than that.
People who live in a way that is essentially, if you aren't on the edge you are taking up too much space.

I stand by it. alright, assinine may have been a bit strong, but I still find it ridiculous that a content life is a wasted life. that makes zero sense. 

the entire point of life is to be happy, not someone else's version of happy. 

Is that the point of life?  If we are just a collection of cells that result from a big bang millions of years ago, is there a point at all to life?  

Let me go smoke a joint and ponder this one. 

oftenreading

Yes

HughFreakingDillon said:

rgambs said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

PJ_Soul said:

Why do you think that people without kids and lots of free time waste their time?? I do indeed have tons of free time, which I relish, and I'm not wasting my life, thanks.

I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about people in real life.
Watching dancing with the stars and shopping for junk at outlet malls and flea markets is a waste of a life, whether a person is content with it or not, IMO.

In real life, I have tons of free time and am not wasting it, lol.

I figure that whatever makes a person content and satisfied in life is never a waste of time or a life. Who are we to judge how someone finds contentment in their own life?? Now if someone is lying there on the couch watching garbage TV all the time and they're miserable and depressed and fucking hate themselves for it, then that's a waste, yes (and they should really talk to a professional about it). But if they're content and happy doing that? Or get real joy out of going to flea markets everyday? Not at all. IMO.

I would agree. saying someone who is content and happy is wasting their life because it doesn't fit your definition of a full life is assinine.  

It's not asinine, you just don't like it.  Wouldn't you be perfectly willing to consider a life wasted if it was spent languishing in a heroin stupor?  It makes them content and happy, but you'd still consider it a waste.  
I draw the line a few miles from there, but it's not as extreme as it sounds, I know people way more extreme than that.
People who live in a way that is essentially, if you aren't on the edge you are taking up too much space.

I stand by it. alright, assinine may have been a bit strong, but I still find it ridiculous that a content life is a wasted life. that makes zero sense. 

the entire point of life is to be happy, not someone else's version of happy. 

Interesting. I don't share the view that the point of life is to be happy. I cringe a bit when I hear parents tell their kids that they should do whatever makes them happy. I think life has to be about more than happiness; I think it has to have at least some purpose that involves giving of yourself to others, otherwise it's empty. The "others" absolutely don't have to be children, but it needs to be something other than an entire focus on yourself and your own wants. 

njnancy

Yes

oftenreading said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

rgambs said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

PJ_Soul said:

Why do you think that people without kids and lots of free time waste their time?? I do indeed have tons of free time, which I relish, and I'm not wasting my life, thanks.

I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about people in real life.
Watching dancing with the stars and shopping for junk at outlet malls and flea markets is a waste of a life, whether a person is content with it or not, IMO.

In real life, I have tons of free time and am not wasting it, lol.

I figure that whatever makes a person content and satisfied in life is never a waste of time or a life. Who are we to judge how someone finds contentment in their own life?? Now if someone is lying there on the couch watching garbage TV all the time and they're miserable and depressed and fucking hate themselves for it, then that's a waste, yes (and they should really talk to a professional about it). But if they're content and happy doing that? Or get real joy out of going to flea markets everyday? Not at all. IMO.

I would agree. saying someone who is content and happy is wasting their life because it doesn't fit your definition of a full life is assinine.  

It's not asinine, you just don't like it.  Wouldn't you be perfectly willing to consider a life wasted if it was spent languishing in a heroin stupor?  It makes them content and happy, but you'd still consider it a waste.  
I draw the line a few miles from there, but it's not as extreme as it sounds, I know people way more extreme than that.
People who live in a way that is essentially, if you aren't on the edge you are taking up too much space.

I stand by it. alright, assinine may have been a bit strong, but I still find it ridiculous that a content life is a wasted life. that makes zero sense. 

the entire point of life is to be happy, not someone else's version of happy. 

Interesting. I don't share the view that the point of life is to be happy. I cringe a bit when I hear parents tell their kids that they should do whatever makes them happy. I think life has to be about more than happiness; I think it has to have at least some purpose that involves giving of yourself to others, otherwise it's empty. The "others" absolutely don't have to be children, but it needs to be something other than an entire focus on yourself and your own wants. 

 

I think that we all do the best that we can at any particular point in our life and no one knows what life is going to hand them. You can only except your situation and find the best way to make it work. Life, marriage, being a single parent, careers, ,  raising children - they are all difficult.  Anything worthwhile is difficult Most of life is spent finding the happy medium between the high and lows of emotions and life events.  And through dark and difficult times we find the joyous and happy moments to be ever so much more precious. Happiness is fleeting, it is not a state that someone lives in for long periods. And there are moments of my life that would fit under your definition of a life well lived and there are periods of my life that would fit under the life wasted definition. I do know that the first time I ever held my son I felt the deepest, unconditional love and I can still feel that at this moment. There have been horrendous events that have occurred because his father is a truly evil person. I would never change my decision to have him. I was absolutely ready to have a child and being a mom is the greatest and most difficult joy of my life. Better than the career I had to leave due to illness that allowed me to travel and thrive and do so many great things. Every life is different. Different periods of anyone's life can be polar opposites. My life is in a not good place right now, but I don't think that I am not worthy of a life because I have had a shit hand dealt to me. I had awesome deals too. It is life. No one knows what is really going on with someone else. Extending a hand to someone in need is just as important as say base jumping. Being in Hawaii was absolutely one of the most excellent things I have done in my life. I was privileged to be able to do so. So having an adult son and an aging mother living with me while I am dealing with illness and financial difficulty is what I need to deal with at this point in my life. The excellent things that we are able to do sustain us through the extremely difficult things that we live through. Some lives are more blessed. Some lives have more bumps in the road. Some people are resilient and some people are not. But life is a journey that is personal and I don't think that someone else should judge another's life. You have every right to your opinion, of course. I just have seen to much to think that any life should be considered a waste.  

Wma31394

Spiritual_Chaos said:

Me and Agnes will never have children.

Hahaah get drunk

dankind

Yes

I like tacos. 

lastexitlondon

Yes

I love lamp

bootlegger10

Yes

lastexitlondon said:

I love lamp

Putting the nail in the coffin of this one?

njnancy

Yes

bootlegger10 said:

lastexitlondon said:

I love lamp

Putting the nail in the coffin of this one?

Interesting. I suppose that depends on whose opinion's matter.

OffSheGoes35

No

HughFreakingDillon said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

I'm glad none of you hate being a parent. That would be really awkward. "I hate those sumbitches they eat all of the good cereal."

I have my moments. Never "hate", or even regret, but just last night, my 9 year old, who sometimes goes on a tear and doesn't stop fucking talking. I was having a nervous fucking breakdown of anxiety, trying to rest before I went to the STP show, and she didn't take a breath for an hour talking loudly to my wife about some pc game called Prodigy. Then she was blow drying her hair, and started SHOUTING her explanation of the game over the sound of the blow dryer, 3 feet from my bedroom door. I screamed from my room for her to please be quiet. 

sometimes it's too much. other times it's not enough. it's a balance. 

I imagine it would be really difficult to have anxiety issues when you have young children in the house. However, it made me laugh that your daughter was shouting over the blow dryer, because it sounds like she comes from not one, but two, headstrong people...she can't help herself, man. She must be heard. Lol

OffSheGoes35

No

njnancy said:

oftenreading said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

rgambs said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

rgambs said:

PJ_Soul said:

Why do you think that people without kids and lots of free time waste their time?? I do indeed have tons of free time, which I relish, and I'm not wasting my life, thanks.

I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about people in real life.
Watching dancing with the stars and shopping for junk at outlet malls and flea markets is a waste of a life, whether a person is content with it or not, IMO.

In real life, I have tons of free time and am not wasting it, lol.

I figure that whatever makes a person content and satisfied in life is never a waste of time or a life. Who are we to judge how someone finds contentment in their own life?? Now if someone is lying there on the couch watching garbage TV all the time and they're miserable and depressed and fucking hate themselves for it, then that's a waste, yes (and they should really talk to a professional about it). But if they're content and happy doing that? Or get real joy out of going to flea markets everyday? Not at all. IMO.

I would agree. saying someone who is content and happy is wasting their life because it doesn't fit your definition of a full life is assinine.  

It's not asinine, you just don't like it.  Wouldn't you be perfectly willing to consider a life wasted if it was spent languishing in a heroin stupor?  It makes them content and happy, but you'd still consider it a waste.  
I draw the line a few miles from there, but it's not as extreme as it sounds, I know people way more extreme than that.
People who live in a way that is essentially, if you aren't on the edge you are taking up too much space.

I stand by it. alright, assinine may have been a bit strong, but I still find it ridiculous that a content life is a wasted life. that makes zero sense. 

the entire point of life is to be happy, not someone else's version of happy. 

Interesting. I don't share the view that the point of life is to be happy. I cringe a bit when I hear parents tell their kids that they should do whatever makes them happy. I think life has to be about more than happiness; I think it has to have at least some purpose that involves giving of yourself to others, otherwise it's empty. The "others" absolutely don't have to be children, but it needs to be something other than an entire focus on yourself and your own wants. 

 

I think that we all do the best that we can at any particular point in our life and no one knows what life is going to hand them. You can only except your situation and find the best way to make it work. Life, marriage, being a single parent, careers, ,  raising children - they are all difficult.  Anything worthwhile is difficult Most of life is spent finding the happy medium between the high and lows of emotions and life events.  And through dark and difficult times we find the joyous and happy moments to be ever so much more precious. Happiness is fleeting, it is not a state that someone lives in for long periods. And there are moments of my life that would fit under your definition of a life well lived and there are periods of my life that would fit under the life wasted definition. I do know that the first time I ever held my son I felt the deepest, unconditional love and I can still feel that at this moment. There have been horrendous events that have occurred because his father is a truly evil person. I would never change my decision to have him. I was absolutely ready to have a child and being a mom is the greatest and most difficult joy of my life. Better than the career I had to leave due to illness that allowed me to travel and thrive and do so many great things. Every life is different. Different periods of anyone's life can be polar opposites. My life is in a not good place right now, but I don't think that I am not worthy of a life because I have had a shit hand dealt to me. I had awesome deals too. It is life. No one knows what is really going on with someone else. Extending a hand to someone in need is just as important as say base jumping. Being in Hawaii was absolutely one of the most excellent things I have done in my life. I was privileged to be able to do so. So having an adult son and an aging mother living with me while I am dealing with illness and financial difficulty is what I need to deal with at this point in my life. The excellent things that we are able to do sustain us through the extremely difficult things that we live through. Some lives are more blessed. Some lives have more bumps in the road. Some people are resilient and some people are not. But life is a journey that is personal and I don't think that someone else should judge another's life. You have every right to your opinion, of course. I just have seen to much to think that any life should be considered a waste.  

Well said, njnancy! There were a few things you mentioned, that I too have felt, but couldn't find the right words to express...

For instance, living through horrendous events...one only thinks they know how they would handle such things. Life has a way of showing us exactly how weak we are, and if we manage to live through it, you don't forget that feeling of being brought to your knees, it makes you less judgmental and harsh about your own and others frailties.