You know, I read that and at first read "but she is years old". I was all :tired: . But then I read again.
Who cares if she's 8 years older? Hell, Emmanuel Macron's wife is 25 years older than he is, they're madly in love, and nobody gives a shit. 8 years isn't a big gap. Remember, you wouldn't have brought the age gap up if she was the man. So forget about the sexist double standards.
Good luck!
I don't have a problem with dating older women. I actually would prefer it over immature girls. It's me who thinks she may have an issue with it. Thanks. I don't think anything will eventuate, especially when she learns I am a hermit with few friends as opposed to her gazillions and her party lifestyle. I hold onto the hope that things happen when you don't expect them to and when you don't look. Hope...
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Thanks Bootlegger. Lately I've been looking up people I went to high school with to see what they're up to and most are married with kids. It's been getting me down. I don't know why I do it when it hurts.
They would all be jealous of you being single if you got out there and mixed it up.
Doubt it. Probably laugh at me. A guy I was friends with (not from school) asked his parents who are my parents' friends if I've found someone yet. Everyone is wondering why I still have not been in a relationship at 34 years of age. I'm a joke.
Dude, I’m 41 and single. The only relationship I’ve ever had that lasted any length of time ended nearly 18 years ago. Other than that I’ve never had anything go on longer than a month or two. I’ve spent many hours and many days wondering what it is about me that no one wants to stick around. Why women don’t flirt with me or respond acceptingly to my flirtations. Why everyone I know has no trouble finding relationships and never goes more than a month without being in one. Trust me, I know first hand how frustrating it is and how defeated you can feel by it. And it’s ok to feel negative about it. I still do, quite a bit actually. No one is happy 24/7/365. Even what may seem to be the happiest, most joyous person has bad days. Whether it’s bad hair, bad personal interactions, bad day at work, failed a test, lost a pet, wrecked their car, etc. But don’t ever call yourself a joke, or think you’ve failed, or think others are better off because believe me, we all go through shit. We all fight battles everyday. Bottom line is that you have to figure out the things that give you joy & satisfaction to combat that, and do those things. Take care of yourself first and make yourself happy because, believe me, no one else is gonna do it for you. You are you, you are defined by your characteristics and the things or enjoy. So give those things to yourself instead of denying them because you don’t have a partner or you worry about what people think. Let them think. They aren’t you, and if they are focused on you, that’s a reflection of their own unhappiness. You’ll eventually realize the freedom you have to do things you enjoy without having someone to answer to.
And P.S. Social media is a terrible way to get a glimpse on anyone else. Even though it seems like some people post their entire lives on there, I can assure you you’re only seeing the highlights and not viewing the whole game.
Girls avoid me which is hard on me. I feel like I am some intimidating person. I feel the same, everyone I know finds a partner so easy and it makes me wonder why I fail. Sick of being assumed to be gay by people. I feel ashamed to meet someone and have to tell them they're my first girlfriend and I am a virgin. It's too late for me. People will get turned off by my story. Thank you for your kind words.
Just be yourself. That’s enough. Don’t tell your story if you don’t feel comfortable telling it without giving a crap whether they will accept it. Or,until you know the person you’re telling it to is the person you trust enough to care. When negative breeds negative stop. Positive will breed positivity.
I was communicating with a lady over the past few days on facebook as we both commented on a Simpsons related post. She commented in that post days after we stopped commenting to each other asking if I had joined a Simpsons group she suggested and told me how she felt about one I suggested. I thought hmmm, she's remembered me days after we stopped exchanging comments on this post so maybe she's someone who might be interested in knowing me further. Anyhow, I decided to send her a friend request last night (because we both love Simpsons and I find her attractive) and she added me. We chatted for a few hours last night over messenger. I seriously thought she is my age or younger but she is 8 years older. We have a lot in common artistically. However, she has a very big social group, seems extroverted, goes to many events and loves electronic music and not rock. Not sure we'd be compatible as I have few friends, prefer the quiet life, and love rock. What my social psychology unit at university has taught me is that birds of a feather flock together and that opposites do not attract, they repel. Maybe she might think I am too young as well. Will see how things go. I am not going to get my hopes up as I've been in similar situations before where nothing happened. If she starts initiating conversation first then I'll take it as a sign of interest and try summon the courage to ask her out for a coffee. But I doubt it will happen given the age difference and different lives we live. But boy is she pretty.
Remember this opposite's attract. I was told by a marriage counsellor that the only reason my wife and I lasted 25 years was because we were opposite in personality and had many different interest...so do not always think you need to find someone with the same interest as yourself...
I was communicating with a lady over the past few days on facebook as we both commented on a Simpsons related post. She commented in that post days after we stopped commenting to each other asking if I had joined a Simpsons group she suggested and told me how she felt about one I suggested. I thought hmmm, she's remembered me days after we stopped exchanging comments on this post so maybe she's someone who might be interested in knowing me further. Anyhow, I decided to send her a friend request last night (because we both love Simpsons and I find her attractive) and she added me. We chatted for a few hours last night over messenger. I seriously thought she is my age or younger but she is 8 years older. We have a lot in common artistically. However, she has a very big social group, seems extroverted, goes to many events and loves electronic music and not rock. Not sure we'd be compatible as I have few friends, prefer the quiet life, and love rock. What my social psychology unit at university has taught me is that birds of a feather flock together and that opposites do not attract, they repel. Maybe she might think I am too young as well. Will see how things go. I am not going to get my hopes up as I've been in similar situations before where nothing happened. If she starts initiating conversation first then I'll take it as a sign of interest and try summon the courage to ask her out for a coffee. But I doubt it will happen given the age difference and different lives we live. But boy is she pretty.
You'll find someone someday, and when you do I think you'll have a shot a really good relationship, I say this because you have been looking for so long, that when you meet someone you are really going to treat that person properly. Good luck to you.
I was communicating with a lady over the past few days on facebook as we both commented on a Simpsons related post. She commented in that post days after we stopped commenting to each other asking if I had joined a Simpsons group she suggested and told me how she felt about one I suggested. I thought hmmm, she's remembered me days after we stopped exchanging comments on this post so maybe she's someone who might be interested in knowing me further. Anyhow, I decided to send her a friend request last night (because we both love Simpsons and I find her attractive) and she added me. We chatted for a few hours last night over messenger. I seriously thought she is my age or younger but she is 8 years older. We have a lot in common artistically. However, she has a very big social group, seems extroverted, goes to many events and loves electronic music and not rock. Not sure we'd be compatible as I have few friends, prefer the quiet life, and love rock. What my social psychology unit at university has taught me is that birds of a feather flock together and that opposites do not attract, they repel. Maybe she might think I am too young as well. Will see how things go. I am not going to get my hopes up as I've been in similar situations before where nothing happened. If she starts initiating conversation first then I'll take it as a sign of interest and try summon the courage to ask her out for a coffee. But I doubt it will happen given the age difference and different lives we live. But boy is she pretty.
There ya go man. Just keep talking to her, be kind, and DON’T OVERTHINK THINGS! (That’s important, hence why I put it in all caps.) Keep doing what you’re doing, ask her out soon, and see where it goes. Don’t worry about opposites or birds of a feather and all that crap. Every relationship has similarities and differences. Who knows, perhaps her personality & lifestyle will help break you out of your shell. And do NOT worry about the age difference. Unless you’re underage or early 20s, no one really gives a crap about age differences.
Thank you dude. I'll see if she initiates conversation with me first. If it's only me doing the initiating then that's a sign of no interest. If she initiates I'll chat for a bit here and then ask her out. As I said before, not getting my hopes up as I've been down this road so many times. As for opposites attracting, every single lecturer at university tells us that they do not based on evidence. Even as recently as this semester in my social psychology subject.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Older ladies rock. Your eyes will be well and truely opened. I really hope you gain a friend and maybe more. Good man. Best wishes from London that s for sure
brixton 93
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Are you trying to get to know them with a light sabre ? etc.?? I’m not sure what this is showing?
Just showing that every girl is frightened of me. Makes me feel like I am a movie villain.
As a psychology student, you should recognise this as projection.
Hahaha, Freud's theories had a lot of criticism
Sure, but people obviously do project their feelings onto others, that's an indispensable factor in empathy. Makes much more sense than women being scared of you like a movie villain.
Are you trying to get to know them with a light sabre ? etc.?? I’m not sure what this is showing?
Just showing that every girl is frightened of me. Makes me feel like I am a movie villain.
Is it possible you feel this because you may be over analyzing yourself and your feelings internally and vocalizing everything you’re analyzing about yourself and are you analyzing everything the girls are saying and doing?
I am actually flying her to the states for the holidays. We are going to head to vegas for a few days; I booked a room with two queen sized beds so my wife was cool with it.
You know, I read that and at first read "but she is years old". I was all :tired: . But then I read again.
Who cares if she's 8 years older? Hell, Emmanuel Macron's wife is 25 years older than he is, they're madly in love, and nobody gives a shit. 8 years isn't a big gap. Remember, you wouldn't have brought the age gap up if she was the man. So forget about the sexist double standards.
Good luck!
I don't have a problem with dating older women. I actually would prefer it over immature girls. It's me who thinks she may have an issue with it. Thanks. I don't think anything will eventuate, especially when she learns I am a hermit with few friends as opposed to her gazillions and her party lifestyle. I hold onto the hope that things happen when you don't expect them to and when you don't look. Hope...
you defeat yourself before even playing the game, dude. how do you know she won't like an introvert? there are many couples that have separate social lives. some prefer it that way. the introvert gets their time alone, the extrovert gets their time out with friends, win win.
my wife and I used to be concert buddies. over the years, she is now more inclined to listen to pop music or even GASP! fucking talk radio like she's 85 years old. is it a deal breaker? of course not. is it disappointing for me? yes, but people and relationships evolve. you roll with it. I go to shows alone or I find a buddy to go with, which, at my age, is difficult, all my old concert buddies rarely go to shows anymore, let alone if it isn't an obligatory saturday night show. I had to get a buddy of mine to fly from Toronto to Winnipeg just to have someone to go to the fucking Headstones shows with!
anyway, just get out of your own head and stop thinking about it too much. that's your entire problem.
Older ladies rock. Your eyes will be well and truely opened. I really hope you gain a friend and maybe more. Good man. Best wishes from London that s for sure
Thank you. I love older women.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
You know, I read that and at first read "but she is years old". I was all :tired: . But then I read again.
Who cares if she's 8 years older? Hell, Emmanuel Macron's wife is 25 years older than he is, they're madly in love, and nobody gives a shit. 8 years isn't a big gap. Remember, you wouldn't have brought the age gap up if she was the man. So forget about the sexist double standards.
Good luck!
I don't have a problem with dating older women. I actually would prefer it over immature girls. It's me who thinks she may have an issue with it. Thanks. I don't think anything will eventuate, especially when she learns I am a hermit with few friends as opposed to her gazillions and her party lifestyle. I hold onto the hope that things happen when you don't expect them to and when you don't look. Hope...
you defeat yourself before even playing the game, dude. how do you know she won't like an introvert? there are many couples that have separate social lives. some prefer it that way. the introvert gets their time alone, the extrovert gets their time out with friends, win win.
my wife and I used to be concert buddies. over the years, she is now more inclined to listen to pop music or even GASP! fucking talk radio like she's 85 years old. is it a deal breaker? of course not. is it disappointing for me? yes, but people and relationships evolve. you roll with it. I go to shows alone or I find a buddy to go with, which, at my age, is difficult, all my old concert buddies rarely go to shows anymore, let alone if it isn't an obligatory saturday night show. I had to get a buddy of mine to fly from Toronto to Winnipeg just to have someone to go to the fucking Headstones shows with!
anyway, just get out of your own head and stop thinking about it too much. that's your entire problem.
I don't know, just thinking 'birds of a feather flock together'
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Are you trying to get to know them with a light sabre ? etc.?? I’m not sure what this is showing?
Just showing that every girl is frightened of me. Makes me feel like I am a movie villain.
Is it possible you feel this because you may be over analyzing yourself and your feelings internally and vocalizing everything you’re analyzing about yourself and are you analyzing everything the girls are saying and doing?
It's because women avoid me. If they see me on campus at university they try sneak past or pretend they didn't see me. One time in a lecture, the fold down desk on my chair was broken so I had to move to the seat next to me so I could write notes during the lecture. The girl next to me then moved one chair over, there was one chair empty between us but she still moved. Like wtf? Am I that creepy? Do I ooze scary Kylo Ren intimidation?
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Are you trying to get to know them with a light sabre ? etc.?? I’m not sure what this is showing?
Just showing that every girl is frightened of me. Makes me feel like I am a movie villain.
Is it possible you feel this because you may be over analyzing yourself and your feelings internally and vocalizing everything you’re analyzing about yourself and are you analyzing everything the girls are saying and doing?
It's because women avoid me. If they see me on campus at university they try sneak past or pretend they didn't see me. One time in a lecture, the fold down desk on my chair was broken so I had to move to the seat next to me so I could write notes during the lecture. The girl next to me then moved one chair over, there was one chair empty between us but she still moved. Like wtf? Am I that creepy? Do I ooze scary Kylo Ren intimidation?
If you are intimidating in some way, maybe you could watch some Queer Eye on Netflix for helpful tips. I haven't watched the reboot of the show, but the old show on bravo was great. Netflix has all the answers-you just have to find the right show/movie.
I really have to just ask this Thoughts_Arrive ....... Are you sure you don't have a B.O. problem? Because that is the one thing that would definitely make me move down a seat away from someone like that, and also the most common reason I avoid someone I don't really know in general. I am forced to do just that on a semi-regular basis because there are a lot of men with rank B.O. Nothing is more repellant. I have to assume these men with terrible terrible body odor are truly unaware of how bad they smell and maybe they have no one in their lives willing to broach that uncomfortable subject.
If you think this could be the issue, feel free to PM me for tips. I have helped people with this before.
Post edited by PJ_Soul on
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
Yes, I recall the tellings of the girl who moved her seat.
Good (if awkward!) point made above; also consider someone may want their personal space or just don't feel like chit-chatting. It's not always about you.
I got nothing else, TA. You've asked for and been given so much worthy advice - and support - but aside from saying thanks or offering up an excuse or claiming you'll look into a suggestion, that's it.
Yeah, we can only suggest so much, we don't know why women would feel intimidated in your presence. If you stare at them like Charles Manson, Queer Eye probably isn't going to be that helpful.
Thank you dude. I'll see if she initiates conversation with me first. If it's only me doing the initiating then that's a sign of no interest. If she initiates I'll chat for a bit here and then ask her out. As I said before, not getting my hopes up as I've been down this road so many times. As for opposites attracting, every single lecturer at university tells us that they do not based on evidence. Even as recently as this semester in my social psychology subject.
If you always wait for the woman to initiate, I’ve got bad news for ya... Just strike up conversation and go from there. If you don’t talk to her, she’s gonna think the same thing (no interest) and move on. Women don’t waste time.
Comments
It's me who thinks she may have an issue with it.
Thanks.
I don't think anything will eventuate, especially when she learns I am a hermit with few friends as opposed to her gazillions and her party lifestyle.
I hold onto the hope that things happen when you don't expect them to and when you don't look.
Hope...
And do NOT worry about the age difference. Unless you’re underage or early 20s, no one really gives a crap about age differences.
I'll see if she initiates conversation with me first. If it's only me doing the initiating then that's a sign of no interest.
If she initiates I'll chat for a bit here and then ask her out.
As I said before, not getting my hopes up as I've been down this road so many times.
As for opposites attracting, every single lecturer at university tells us that they do not based on evidence. Even as recently as this semester in my social psychology subject.
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Makes much more sense than women being scared of you like a movie villain.
Who's going to ask her out next?
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
my wife and I used to be concert buddies. over the years, she is now more inclined to listen to pop music or even GASP! fucking talk radio like she's 85 years old. is it a deal breaker? of course not. is it disappointing for me? yes, but people and relationships evolve. you roll with it. I go to shows alone or I find a buddy to go with, which, at my age, is difficult, all my old concert buddies rarely go to shows anymore, let alone if it isn't an obligatory saturday night show. I had to get a buddy of mine to fly from Toronto to Winnipeg just to have someone to go to the fucking Headstones shows with!
anyway, just get out of your own head and stop thinking about it too much. that's your entire problem.
www.headstonesband.com
One time in a lecture, the fold down desk on my chair was broken so I had to move to the seat next to me so I could write notes during the lecture. The girl next to me then moved one chair over, there was one chair empty between us but she still moved. Like wtf? Am I that creepy? Do I ooze scary Kylo Ren intimidation?
Good (if awkward!) point made above; also consider someone may want their personal space or just don't feel like chit-chatting. It's not always about you.
I got nothing else, TA. You've asked for and been given so much worthy advice - and support - but aside from saying thanks or offering up an excuse or claiming you'll look into a suggestion, that's it.
So, I wish you luck.
Just strike up conversation and go from there. If you don’t talk to her, she’s gonna think the same thing (no interest) and move on. Women don’t waste time.