Should I ask Agnes out on a date?

OffSheGoes35

No

Spiritual_Chaos said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

shit, my wife and I even discussed what religion or not we would raise our kids as before we were even living together. I can't imagine lying or not broaching the subject prior to marriage. that's crazy to me. 

Yeah.. isn't the first part of being together all about being up all night talking, and and trying to figure out Donnie Darko... 

Or better yet, watch this and avoid misinterpreting Donnie Darko...

OffSheGoes35

No

HesCalledDyer said:

"I don't want kids, ever." is a first-date disclaimer for me...  I don't get many second dates.

You must not have dated a woman from this site then, because quite a few of us would say, "I'm down like a clown, Charlie Brown."

bootlegger10

Yes

I have no interest in having kids and don't know why people would want multiple kids.  You are trading the best years of your life for school events, sport events, and carpooling.   Maybe that makes me selfish, but like PJsoul said, the world has enough people in it.

HughFreakingDillon

bootlegger10 said:

I have no interest in having kids and don't know why people would want multiple kids.  You are trading the best years of your life for school events, sport events, and carpooling.   Maybe that makes me selfish, but like PJsoul said, the world has enough people in it.

no more selfish than people like me who wanted to bring kids into a world that, as you said, doesn't need more humans. 

I like the "best years of my life" going to school events, sport events, and carpooling. I cry with absolute joy regularly because of my kids. I don't judge anyone for the choices they make in their life. having/not having kids is a very personal choice.  I would certainly never tell anyone they are "missing out" by not having kids. if you don't want any, you aren't missing out. I wanted them, so I'm not missing out not having them. 

it's definitely not all rosey and white picket fence shit. But I wouldn't make a different choice if I could. 

Spiritual_Chaos

Gonna feel nice getting drunk now. Need to respond and show her it's all good, when in reality I feel like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XMU_3o5RRs

Happy friday on y'all.

lastexitlondon

Yes

Spiritual_Chaos said:

Gonna feel nice getting drunk now. Need to respond and show her it's all good, when in reality I feel like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XMU_3o5RRs

Happy friday on y'all.

I will raise a glass. Good health sir

mcgruff10

Yes

bootlegger10 said:

I have no interest in having kids and don't know why people would want multiple kids.  You are trading the best years of your life for school events, sport events, and carpooling.   Maybe that makes me selfish, but like PJsoul said, the world has enough people in it.

Aren’t you glad your parents didn’t think like that?  
Having kids is definitely time consuming and you definitely give things up but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have fished my whole life and my greatest fishing memories are when  my kids caught their first fish. It was also icing on the cake because my dad was there. 
To each their own. 

bootlegger10

Yes

mcgruff10 said:

bootlegger10 said:

I have no interest in having kids and don't know why people would want multiple kids.  You are trading the best years of your life for school events, sport events, and carpooling.   Maybe that makes me selfish, but like PJsoul said, the world has enough people in it.

Aren’t you glad your parents didn’t think like that?  
Having kids is definitely time consuming and you definitely give things up but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have fished my whole life and my greatest fishing memories are when  my kids caught their first fish. It was also icing on the cake because my dad was there. 
To each their own. 

I wouldn't be here to know if they hadn't.  No, obviously there are plenty of reasons to have kids as billions of us are here on the earth right now.  People say everything changes when you have a kid of your own. 

mcgruff10

Yes

bootlegger10 said:

mcgruff10 said:

bootlegger10 said:

I have no interest in having kids and don't know why people would want multiple kids.  You are trading the best years of your life for school events, sport events, and carpooling.   Maybe that makes me selfish, but like PJsoul said, the world has enough people in it.

Aren’t you glad your parents didn’t think like that?  
Having kids is definitely time consuming and you definitely give things up but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have fished my whole life and my greatest fishing memories are when  my kids caught their first fish. It was also icing on the cake because my dad was there. 
To each their own. 

I wouldn't be here to know if they hadn't.  No, obviously there are plenty of reasons to have kids as billions of us are here on the earth right now.  People say everything changes when you have a kid of your own. 

Oh it definitely does bud. The time you once had is gone. 

dankind

Yes

I like being a dad; that doesn't mean I'm not counting down the days until they're out of my house and I can get the fuck out of Massachusetts. 

PJ_Soul

Yes

I have actually met a few parents who said if they could do it all over again, they would not have had children... and I assume there are many more who think that but wouldn't say it out loud because they feel guilty for feeling that way. However, I believe the majority of parents do not regret it, no matter what they had to give up for it.

OffSheGoes35

No

I'm glad none of you hate being a parent. That would be really awkward. "I hate those sumbitches they eat all of the good cereal."

darwinstheory

Yes

HesCalledDyer said:

"I don't want kids, ever." is a first-date disclaimer for me...  I don't get many second dates.

Agreed. I would tell friends and family how I would tell dates that on the first date. Everyone always looked at me like I was an insane prick...which may or may not be true.

I mean, I never felt the desire to father a child. At all. Not sure why, but just the thought makes me cringe. That said, I'm more than happy to practice.

For me, it was important to know that it was clear and there were no miscon(tra)ceptions about it. After all, no need in a second date if both parties are on different end of the spectrum here. 

*I would note that should a pregnancy have ever occurred from my actions, and she decided to keep the child, I would absolutely be okay with that and be involved.

HughFreakingDillon

OffSheGoes35 said:

I'm glad none of you hate being a parent. That would be really awkward. "I hate those sumbitches they eat all of the good cereal."

I have my moments. Never "hate", or even regret, but just last night, my 9 year old, who sometimes goes on a tear and doesn't stop fucking talking. I was having a nervous fucking breakdown of anxiety, trying to rest before I went to the STP show, and she didn't take a breath for an hour talking loudly to my wife about some pc game called Prodigy. Then she was blow drying her hair, and started SHOUTING her explanation of the game over the sound of the blow dryer, 3 feet from my bedroom door. I screamed from my room for her to please be quiet. 

sometimes it's too much. other times it's not enough. it's a balance. 

HughFreakingDillon

PJ_Soul said:

I have actually met a few parents who said if they could do it all over again, they would not have had children... and I assume there are many more who think that but wouldn't say it out loud because they feel guilty for feeling that way. However, I believe the majority of parents do not regret it, no matter what they had to give up for it.

I have actually said that, but not because I didn't want them, because i feel guilty for bringing them into the world we currently live in. I fear every day for what their lives will be like when they are my age. 

PJ_Soul

Yes

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

I have actually met a few parents who said if they could do it all over again, they would not have had children... and I assume there are many more who think that but wouldn't say it out loud because they feel guilty for feeling that way. However, I believe the majority of parents do not regret it, no matter what they had to give up for it.

I have actually said that, but not because I didn't want them, because i feel guilty for bringing them into the world we currently live in. I fear every day for what their lives will be like when they are my age. 

Yeah, that's different. And definitely one of the major reasons that I'm glad I never had kids.

Meltdown99

Yes

PJ_Soul said:

I have actually met a few parents who said if they could do it all over again, they would not have had children... and I assume there are many more who think that but wouldn't say it out loud because they feel guilty for feeling that way. However, I believe the majority of parents do not regret it, no matter what they had to give up for it.

Any parent who abuses their children in any way probably didn't want kids/or kids for the right reason ... and there are a lot of abused children.  

PJ_Soul

Yes

Meltdown99 said:

PJ_Soul said:

I have actually met a few parents who said if they could do it all over again, they would not have had children... and I assume there are many more who think that but wouldn't say it out loud because they feel guilty for feeling that way. However, I believe the majority of parents do not regret it, no matter what they had to give up for it.

Any parent who abuses their children in any way probably didn't want kids/or kids for the right reason ... and there are a lot of abused children.  

I don't know about that. I think many people who end up abusing their kids actually had good intentions... Not to excuse their actions in any way, of course. And sure, obviously some horrible people have kids for all the wrong reasons. Hell, some women go off birth control and get pregnant just to manipulate their partners and shit like that.

Meltdown99

Yes

PJ_Soul said:

I have actually met a few parents who said if they could do it all over again, they would not have had children... and I assume there are many more who think that but wouldn't say it out loud because they feel guilty for feeling that way. However, I believe the majority of parents do not regret it, no matter what they had to give up for it.

What did these parents think it was going to be like?  Did any ever say?  Having kids is not like buying a TV if you don't like you can not return.  I know 1 person who swore they never wanted kids, then an accident happens... she decided to keep it and was intent on giving the child up for adoption, she is a single parent who would not change a moment since she found out she was pregnant...so it works out for some, and she struggles financially ...

rgambs

People tend to want to justify their decision to have kids or not moreso than other life decisions.  I think both sides overestimate the strength of their arguments too lol

No kids- I get so tired of hearing about the freedom afforded by not having kids from people who do nothing but work, shop, watch TV, and take a week-long cruise once a year.
You don't have more freedom than I do, you just have more free time...that you waste.

Kids- Your children are only special to you and they don't make your life fulfilled, and they don't make your life happy.  If children made a person happy, there wouldn't be so many damn miserable people.  

I think having kids (1 is enough for me) and not letting it stop you from living is the best solution.  The love you have for your child is such an intense feeling, it's something I wouldn't want to have lived a life without experiencing.  I definitely relate heavily to the idea that happiness is only real, or possible, when it's shared.  Everything that is amazing in this life is better with someone next to you who is loving it just as much as you.

A person without kids can certainly have a fulfilling life, but they usually don't.
A person with kids can certainly have the freedom to do essentially anything they want in life, but they usually don't.
End of the day, lazy unimaginative schlubs are going to hate their lives either way, but they will still try to justify their position.