A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 12,038
    4 years without a panic attack!
    Best way to celebrate??
    I don't know, but I know how NOT to mark the occasion...
    That would be by exhausting yourself physically and emotionally with an epic vacation to Yosemite, getting pretty severely dehydrated, and then smoking a far too potent joint while driving through the desert at a mile of elevation.
    Whooops!

    I started having a panic attack and I tried to breathe my way through it...didn't work, I hyperventilated in less than a minute, pulled the car off the side of the road, and fainted off and on for 6 minutes.  Whoops!
    Now I'm home safe and I am doing fine, but I don't feel quite right.  Unduly exhausted, depressed (not sad, just bleak and blank), anxious off and on... Nothing approaching panic since then, but it really makes me feel bad for y'all who deal with this shit every day.  Sucks.
    Hang in there, there is always hope if you can only find your way to it and hold tight.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 19,774
    edited July 16
    rgambs said:
    4 years without a panic attack!
    Best way to celebrate??
    I don't know, but I know how NOT to mark the occasion...
    That would be by exhausting yourself physically and emotionally with an epic vacation to Yosemite, getting pretty severely dehydrated, and then smoking a far too potent joint while driving through the desert at a mile of elevation.
    Whooops!

    I started having a panic attack and I tried to breathe my way through it...didn't work, I hyperventilated in less than a minute, pulled the car off the side of the road, and fainted off and on for 6 minutes.  Whoops!
    Now I'm home safe and I am doing fine, but I don't feel quite right.  Unduly exhausted, depressed (not sad, just bleak and blank), anxious off and on... Nothing approaching panic since then, but it really makes me feel bad for y'all who deal with this shit every day.  Sucks.
    Hang in there, there is always hope if you can only find your way to it and hold tight.
    That's the toughest part.  Sorry you went through that; you of all people shouldn't underestimate the importance of keeping hydrated!  Was it all overwhelming, that brought it on?

    Rob, good news.  It must be a relief to know things are OK after such worry.
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,753
    Man panic and weed i find happens to me a fair bit. I love weed but when any fear is here. It doesn't  mix. 
    Yes i am very relieved but  isn't  it how health anxiety  works....im back to my other health fear. I hate myself. Even as i was waiting to go in the  theatre i was on my old illness fear. 
    So i got stoned . Did help
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • FifthelementFifthelement LotuslandPosts: 5,885
    rgambs said:
    4 years without a panic attack!
    Best way to celebrate??
    I don't know, but I know how NOT to mark the occasion...
    That would be by exhausting yourself physically and emotionally with an epic vacation to Yosemite, getting pretty severely dehydrated, and then smoking a far too potent joint while driving through the desert at a mile of elevation.
    Whooops!

    I started having a panic attack and I tried to breathe my way through it...didn't work, I hyperventilated in less than a minute, pulled the car off the side of the road, and fainted off and on for 6 minutes.  Whoops!
    Now I'm home safe and I am doing fine, but I don't feel quite right.  Unduly exhausted, depressed (not sad, just bleak and blank), anxious off and on... Nothing approaching panic since then, but it really makes me feel bad for y'all who deal with this shit every day.  Sucks.
    Hang in there, there is always hope if you can only find your way to it and hold tight.
    That’s scary.  I’m glad you were able to pull over and continue your episode safely.  Changes to semi-regular routines can really kick your ass beyond the physical aspects.  Give yourself lots of time to rebuild your stamina.
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,562
    Great news so far just out of the hospital.  All ok. They  take biopsies as a routine . But the lady discharged  me back to dr.
    Awesome to hear!
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,753
    Im so glad we can come here  and only kindness happens. Blessed to have this thread  thats safe. Good job everyone  of us.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Great news so far just out of the hospital.  All ok. They  take biopsies as a routine . But the lady discharged  me back to dr.
    Good news! I'm very happy for you. Take care. Keeping you in my thoughts for continued good news.
  • FifthelementFifthelement LotuslandPosts: 5,885
    Im so glad we can come here  and only kindness happens. Blessed to have this thread  thats safe. Good job everyone  of us.
    ((((Hugs))))
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • njnancynjnancy Northern New JerseyPosts: 4,788
    Im so glad we can come here  and only kindness happens. Blessed to have this thread  thats safe. Good job everyone  of us.
    I'm so happy to hear that your health concerns are over and you are on a good path. It's always helpful to have a safe place when you (we) suffer from anxiety or depression - like minded people don't judge. :hug:

    @rgambs ; I don't do anything anymore but when I used to party I never had a good relationship with pot. Every time I got high I got paranoid and would be in a panic if I was at a party or among people. I now know that pot just exacerbated my panic disorder that I didn't know I had yet.  Having a panic attack is horrible and I know how it feels to have a potent pot panic attack - scary AF. I'm glad that you got home safely and by now are probably feeling fine. 


  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 18,268
    spent a week at the cottage with my wife, daughters, and all our lake friends. it was ok for the first few days, but after that, i couldn't do it anymore. that's hard on my wife and girls because they want us to be 'whole' when the whole group is there (although this year, my wife was ultra-supportive of my needs). but, as an introvert, who can suffer from extreme anxiety when i don't get the emotional rest i need, 4 days of socializing noon to late at night was ex-fucking-hausting. it took me 2 days to recover, just being alone, playing ukulele, relaxing, taking walks, etc. then i got fucking sick. stomach sick. puking. on the last night that everyone was having a fish fry and watching the football game, which i actually was looking forward to attending. so that sucked ass. but after that everything is grand. another week off just me and my girls and we're having a blast. heading to our friends' cottage this weekend which i'm really looking forward to. 

    lastexit, i'm so happy for you. i know it's not the end of the road. but it's a START. which is the whole point. so great to hear. it fills my heart to read that. 
  • Matts3221Matts3221 Posts: 80

    Just stumbled upon this.

    Suffer from very high anxiety and panic attacks , 40 years old , started around the age of 18 after my father passed away , at 22 I found myself taken a shower and being so riddled with panic I would get out and just sit on the floor naked for hours until I could move myself to the bedroom. Countless trips to the ER assuming heart attack or just death.

    So many events missed because I would make up an excuse at the last second just to not have to be anywhere. I think the hardest part for those whom don't suffer or say "every one gets anxiety " is that they don't understand a real panic attack that no matter what someone tells me if I think I am dying I am really dying at that moment.

    Have been on Zoloft since I was 24 , Clonozopain (sp) since I was 30. These were big helps for me and still are , I know meds are not for everyone but they honesty just keep me at an even level.

    Did therapy for from 35-40 , learned that I was catastrophizing everything. More or less jumping 50 steps ahead of something. I find a small red spot on my arm , my first thought would not be wash it off and check it tomorrow or did I get bit by someone, I had cancer and was going to die. I must have imagined my death over 1000 times.

    I have not been to therapy for six months , although I can go back at anytime I have felt pretty good , I still have my moments by my wife says she can see it eyes when it is happing ( the fear )

    I have started to walk 5 miles a day since April , I put earbuds in and blast music I love and just breath in the fresh air , I find it so relaxing , my brain basically stops thinking and all I have is music and fresh air.

    If anyone every needs advice or just wants to talk always feel free to DM me , not on here everyday but if anyone does need someone to chat with once and a while I am more than happy to give my personal email.

    Either way if you are suffering you are far from alone , I think just knowing that can cause some comfort.


       

  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,562
    ^ ^ lovely gesture. Thank you for sharing your story.
    I've had the same health anxiety, it used to be horrible in childhood and into late adulthood. I think I have grown out of it since starting medication.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,753
    Health anxiety  took my life  away and i find unless you've suffered  its hard to explain
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,753
    Im back in the  lowest pit of despair
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,562
    Damn, sorry to hear. Hang in there dude. 
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Matts3221Matts3221 Posts: 80
    Im back in the  lowest pit of despair

    Do you have a support network? Someone you can talk to ? Friend / Therapist.

    Very sorry to hear , just remember there are good days as well , I know its hard to see them when you are in the lowest of low's but you will get there.

    I wish I knew more or you lived close to southern New Hampshire in the US , I would let you just talk over coffee if I could.

    Sometimes for me writing just going on and on , on paper can be helpful to workout my thoughts and then I end up just throwing it away.

    Happy to go over other ways I deal with my high anxiety however I know we are all wired different and what works for me may not work for you.

    Hang in there man.  

  • evsgjammevsgjamm Posts: 1,890
    Matts said something that resonated with me and I think anyone who suffers from anxiety should write this down, set a goal, and complete it at least once a week and build upon it from there. Here's what he said:

    "I have started to walk 5 miles a day since April , I put earbuds in and blast music I love and just breath in the fresh air , I find it so relaxing , my brain basically stops thinking and all I have is music and fresh air."

    You can choose peace. It's on your doorstep.
    Loud Love
    Vancouver '03, Paramount Theatre '05, Saskatoon '05, Calgary '05, Edmonton '05, Saskatoon '11, Calgary '11, Calgary '13

    2010 WATCH IT GO TO FIRE!!
  • evsgjammevsgjamm Posts: 1,890
    Vancouver '03, Paramount Theatre '05, Saskatoon '05, Calgary '05, Edmonton '05, Saskatoon '11, Calgary '11, Calgary '13

    2010 WATCH IT GO TO FIRE!!
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,753
    I've  gotten so bad ive caved and tried a medication  but itd made me sleep all day  now i will be up all night alone. 
    The  dr and everyone tells mr i do not have what i believe  i have. 
    I know  they  are wrong. Ive lost my mind
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,753
    Thank you  to everyone who  have cared. Here  is where  i have trusted people. 
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 6,913
    I've  gotten so bad ive caved and tried a medication  but itd made me sleep all day  now i will be up all night alone. 
    The  dr and everyone tells mr i do not have what i believe  i have. 
    I know  they  are wrong. Ive lost my mind
    I really hope that someday, hopefully soon you meet the right medical person who will listen to you and take you seriously...thoughts headed your way.  Stay strong.
  • Matts3221Matts3221 Posts: 80
    I've  gotten so bad ive caved and tried a medication  but itd made me sleep all day  now i will be up all night alone. 
    The  dr and everyone tells mr i do not have what i believe  i have. 
    I know  they  are wrong. Ive lost my mind


    Honestly I know everyone has a different opinion on medication but I think certain medications can be very helpful to those whom suffer ( I don't know what I would do without my med's ) but I also understand those whom want to believe they can handle it. I would just add that mental illness needs to be treated just as any other medical condition. If someone has a heart issue you would never look at them twice for taking medication for that however a stigma falls upon those with mental illness that taking medication is weak or that you could tough it out.

    Some meds can make you very tired at first ( maybe even the first two weeks ) typical they get better after that. The first time I took my clonozapam ( sp ) I passed out , years later I can take it before work if I can feel panic and I am not even tired.

    Also if you don't mind me asking what is it you think you have? Do you have access to another doctor you can see or specialist? You have no lost your mind , however your mind can play insane tricks on you , anxiety can make it ever worse. I am not saying you are lying about what you believe you have , that said anxiety can cause pain  , tiredness , headaches , it can make you think you are dying.

    Again as someone whom is 40 and suffered since I was 18 I really feel for you I do. Times like these I almost don't like being on the other end because I don't want to come off as preaching that you can just make it better. So much time work , doctors , meds , therapy it took to get me where I am and since everyone is different I don't know what is going on. Just hope this note helps a little.  

  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,562
    Matts3221 said:
    I've  gotten so bad ive caved and tried a medication  but itd made me sleep all day  now i will be up all night alone. 
    The  dr and everyone tells mr i do not have what i believe  i have. 
    I know  they  are wrong. Ive lost my mind


    Honestly I know everyone has a different opinion on medication but I think certain medications can be very helpful to those whom suffer ( I don't know what I would do without my med's ) but I also understand those whom want to believe they can handle it. I would just add that mental illness needs to be treated just as any other medical condition. If someone has a heart issue you would never look at them twice for taking medication for that however a stigma falls upon those with mental illness that taking medication is weak or that you could tough it out.

    Some meds can make you very tired at first ( maybe even the first two weeks ) typical they get better after that. The first time I took my clonozapam ( sp ) I passed out , years later I can take it before work if I can feel panic and I am not even tired.

    Also if you don't mind me asking what is it you think you have? Do you have access to another doctor you can see or specialist? You have no lost your mind , however your mind can play insane tricks on you , anxiety can make it ever worse. I am not saying you are lying about what you believe you have , that said anxiety can cause pain  , tiredness , headaches , it can make you think you are dying.

    Again as someone whom is 40 and suffered since I was 18 I really feel for you I do. Times like these I almost don't like being on the other end because I don't want to come off as preaching that you can just make it better. So much time work , doctors , meds , therapy it took to get me where I am and since everyone is different I don't know what is going on. Just hope this note helps a little.  

    Well said.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,753
    edited July 31
    Ive been on a rollercaster of meds on meds off. I dont suit meds .
    I have  chronic  health anxiety  . Im 44 now.
    I wish i could  talk symptoms  and illness but i just cant. I cant risk more fear, i think at the beginning  of this thread  i did. 
    But nearly 2 years on from the start of this  thread.. I guess its impossible  to have what im scared  of because i wouldn't  be typing now.
    BUT i 100% believe that im dying . Im sorry to come here  with. But  i took one 25mg quitiapine and slept 24 hours basically  its fucked me up. Its 4.45 am and im alone with fear again. If i take another i will be asleep again. Im so confused and my memory  is shot. I have been thinking of ending it for the last week. I told the dr this. He says he is certain i dont have any organic brain problem. I did have a mri on my head  that was ok. A while  back and ive seen a few drs and spoke to a family friend who works in a care home they all say its not what im scared of.(sorry to skirt around the  word but i cant even type it,i know you all get that)im im constant floods of tears and i want out now. I remember  mickey saying ages ago i seemed lucid enough to type here. And i guess i still am.
    Im not brave enough to end it yet.
    Post edited by lastexitlondon on
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 28,020
    Ive been on a rollercaster of meds on meds off. I dont suit meds .
    I have  chronic  health anxiety  . Im 44 now.
    I wish i could  talk symptoms  and illness but i just cant. I cant risk more fear, i think at the beginning  of this thread  i did. 
    But nearly 2 years in. I guess its impossible  to have what im scared  of because i wouldn't  be typing now.
    BUT i 100% believe that im dying . Im sorry to come here  with. But  i took one 25mg quitiapine and slept 24 hours basically  its fucked me up. Its 4.45 am and im alone with fear again. If i take another i will be asleep again. Im so confused and my memory  is shot. I have been thinking of ending it for the last week. I told the dr this. He says he is certain i dont have any organic brain problem. I did have a mri on my head  that was ok. A while  back and ive seen a few drs and spoke to a family friend who works in a care home they all say its not what im scared of.(sorry to skirt around the  word but i cant even type it,i know you all get that)im im constant floods of tears and i want out now. I remember  mickey saying ages ago i seemed lucid enough to type here. And i guess i still am.
    Im not brave enough to end it yet.
    Meds are such a tough thing to fine tune because they don't work the same for everyone.  I've known people who have done great on Prozac but I had a doc who kept bumping the dose up on me because it wasn't helping.  Instead of trying something different, he just kept upping the dose until for weeks I wasn't eating and got down to 135 pounds, wasn't sleeping but was in bed almost all the time, was constantly crying, and couldn't think straight.  I was also addicted to Xanax which I took it with whiskey.  It almost literally killed me. I was saved by a friend who convinced me to check myself into a hospital. I was taken off the Prozac, weaned off Xanax, and put on Serzone which helped hugely... until it was taken off the market.  At that point, I felt like I was walking into the unknown.

    So then I said, "That's it, I'm done with meds".  For about 12 years now I've taken no prescription meds at all.  This was also about the time I started reading Henry Rollin's books.  In the books he wrote from the late 90's on, Rollins talks a lot about his depression and how he uses exercise, music, and a tough-it-out attitude to get him through it.  I'd say it was around the time of his book Smile, You're Traveling, he was probably closest to falling or jumping off the edge.  I'm guessing he would hate it  if he heard me say this, but that book helped me hugely (in that book he says, "I don't want your compliments").  Believe me, I'm no tough guy, but I keep reminding myself to us Rollins' tough it out approach and it seems to have worked for years.  I still crash and burn at times, but not as hard and not as long.

    I can't say that's the right way to go for you, Rob, or anyone else.  Just another avenue to consider.

    Your checking in here seems to be helpful too. Give yourself kudos for that, my friend! Keep us posted.

    "Hate your job, love your stuff
    If you think that's living, you are
    Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong"
    -Juliana Hatfield
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.







  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 28,020
    Matts3221 said:

    Just stumbled upon this.

    Suffer from very high anxiety and panic attacks , 40 years old , started around the age of 18 after my father passed away , at 22 I found myself taken a shower and being so riddled with panic I would get out and just sit on the floor naked for hours until I could move myself to the bedroom. Countless trips to the ER assuming heart attack or just death.

    So many events missed because I would make up an excuse at the last second just to not have to be anywhere. I think the hardest part for those whom don't suffer or say "every one gets anxiety " is that they don't understand a real panic attack that no matter what someone tells me if I think I am dying I am really dying at that moment.

    Have been on Zoloft since I was 24 , Clonozopain (sp) since I was 30. These were big helps for me and still are , I know meds are not for everyone but they honesty just keep me at an even level.

    Did therapy for from 35-40 , learned that I was catastrophizing everything. More or less jumping 50 steps ahead of something. I find a small red spot on my arm , my first thought would not be wash it off and check it tomorrow or did I get bit by someone, I had cancer and was going to die. I must have imagined my death over 1000 times.

    I have not been to therapy for six months , although I can go back at anytime I have felt pretty good , I still have my moments by my wife says she can see it eyes when it is happing ( the fear )

    I have started to walk 5 miles a day since April , I put earbuds in and blast music I love and just breath in the fresh air , I find it so relaxing , my brain basically stops thinking and all I have is music and fresh air.

    If anyone every needs advice or just wants to talk always feel free to DM me , not on here everyday but if anyone does need someone to chat with once and a while I am more than happy to give my personal email.

    Either way if you are suffering you are far from alone , I think just knowing that can cause some comfort.


       

    I really appreciate your story, Matts. Thanks for sharing it.  It sounds like you made huge steps in self care over the years.  Kudos!
    "Hate your job, love your stuff
    If you think that's living, you are
    Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong"
    -Juliana Hatfield
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.







  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 15,297
    you remain as lucid and easily understood as ever......
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,753
    Thanks  mickey im attempting  to quit all substance  again. 
    Im at the bottom . And just that comment made me cry mickey. Logic  says it cant be what i fear  but my symptoms  man. Im lost
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • FifthelementFifthelement LotuslandPosts: 5,885
    You’re still here Rob!  One hour, one day at a time.  I’m sorry that you’re in such pain.  Sending positive vibes in your direction (((((((
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • FifthelementFifthelement LotuslandPosts: 5,885




    A quick reminder for those that may need it:











    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
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