A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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  • Matts3221Matts3221 Posts: 100
    Thanks  mickey im attempting  to quit all substance  again. 
    Im at the bottom . And just that comment made me cry mickey. Logic  says it cant be what i fear  but my symptoms  man. Im lost


    I have to really beg you if you are thinking suicide ( even if you don't want to say it ) please reach out to a help line , an 800 number. This is not the end for you I promise that. 

    You are loved by family , you have people whom care about you on this board. Please reach out there is no weakness in speaking to someone about suicide. Those phone lines will get you thru really tough times , no judgment , no need to censor yourself.

    We only have one life and although life fucking sucks sometimes ( those of us dealing with mental health boy does it suck a lot of the time ) but it really is the one life we live ( sorry I personal don't believe anything happens when we are gone ) so remember that.

    My words may fall on deaf ears if you are feeling that down but please just take one thing , please please please for all of us if you think you are that close to the edge call a suicide hotline.

  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 15,723
    Thanks  mickey im attempting  to quit all substance  again. 
    Im at the bottom . And just that comment made me cry mickey. Logic  says it cant be what i fear  but my symptoms  man. Im lost
    more than that, you've dipped toes back in to amt and are coming from a place of love and making a shit ton of sense in your assessments and suggestions.

    its in you man. believe it. we all see it. you can too.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 19,269
    mickeyrat said:
    Thanks  mickey im attempting  to quit all substance  again. 
    Im at the bottom . And just that comment made me cry mickey. Logic  says it cant be what i fear  but my symptoms  man. Im lost
    more than that, you've dipped toes back in to amt and are coming from a place of love and making a shit ton of sense in your assessments and suggestions.

    its in you man. believe it. we all see it. you can too.
    yeah, I don't see anything that would suggest any kind of cognitive decline. 
    Headstones and Watchmen Fan Boy
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,941
    Matts3221 said:
    Thanks  mickey im attempting  to quit all substance  again. 
    Im at the bottom . And just that comment made me cry mickey. Logic  says it cant be what i fear  but my symptoms  man. Im lost


    I have to really beg you if you are thinking suicide ( even if you don't want to say it ) please reach out to a help line , an 800 number. This is not the end for you I promise that. 

    You are loved by family , you have people whom care about you on this board. Please reach out there is no weakness in speaking to someone about suicide. Those phone lines will get you thru really tough times , no judgment , no need to censor yourself.

    We only have one life and although life fucking sucks sometimes ( those of us dealing with mental health boy does it suck a lot of the time ) but it really is the one life we live ( sorry I personal don't believe anything happens when we are gone ) so remember that.

    My words may fall on deaf ears if you are feeling that down but please just take one thing , please please please for all of us if you think you are that close to the edge call a suicide hotline.

    mickeyrat said:
    Thanks  mickey im attempting  to quit all substance  again. 
    Im at the bottom . And just that comment made me cry mickey. Logic  says it cant be what i fear  but my symptoms  man. Im lost
    more than that, you've dipped toes back in to amt and are coming from a place of love and making a shit ton of sense in your assessments and suggestions.

    its in you man. believe it. we all see it. you can too.
    Thanks for the love
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,941
    Logic should tell me that in 18 months i can still post here  ,then i cant have it. 
    I phoned the mental health self referral im out of strength completely . I cant tell you all what it is to speak to you  all. It may seem you are far away but you  are not. You are here with me
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Matts3221Matts3221 Posts: 100
    Logic should tell me that in 18 months i can still post here  ,then i cant have it. 
    I phoned the mental health self referral im out of strength completely . I cant tell you all what it is to speak to you  all. It may seem you are far away but you  are not. You are here with me
    All the love in the world to you.

  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,941
    edited August 2
    I just  dont know what the hell is happening  to me. 
    Yesterday dr asked if i wanted sectioning.
    I cant sleep . Heart is racing all the  time. The drugs they perscribed made  me sleep 24hrs so didnt take again.dr says carry on. Cant.
    Today we are taking my 2 year old to the zoo for her birthday.  Ive been up all night. I took 2.5 mg valium at 4 am slept til 6 woken by my heart. That dr says is fine.
    Ive been sober of drink and weed for a week. The front  of my head is empty and vacant . Confused  as fuck but have been nearly 2 years  now.  I am helping myself  but failing. The drugs don't work.  Cant see how there  is any hope
    Post edited by lastexitlondon on
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • OffSheGoes35OffSheGoes35 Posts: 2,484
    edited August 2
    Sectioning would probably be the best way for doctors to get you on the right meds. They can monitor you more closely. And you would have the opportunity to just concentrate on you while this is going on.
    Post edited by OffSheGoes35 on
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 19,269
    I just  dont know what the hell is happening  to me. 
    Yesterday dr asked if i wanted sectioning.
    I cant sleep . Heart is racing all the  time. The drugs they perscribed made  me sleep 24hrs so didnt take again.dr says carry on. Cant.
    Today we are taking my 2 year old to the zoo for her birthday.  Ive been up all night. I took 2.5 mg valium at 4 am slept til 6 woken by my heart. That dr says is fine.
    Ive been sober of drink and weed for a week. The front  of my head is empty and vacant . Confused  as fuck but have been nearly 2 years  now.  I am helping myself  but failing. The drugs don't work.  Cant see how there  is any hope
    unfortunately, in my experience, quitting your vices for a week to see if that does anything is probably not helping you. it needs to be the long game. either try to taper off or quit for a long time to see if makes a difference. I know, easier said than done, obviously. especially in your state, I get it. I haven't been as bad as you describe, i was still functioning, but I was a nervous wreck 24/7 for a long time. lost a lot of weight. (silver lining!). I was convinced I was dying from an unknown ailment. 

    I had to google sectioning, and at this point, it honestly doesn't sound like a bad idea for you. or go to a therapist and go on a clear and detailed plan of attack. 

    and take it one minute at a time. 
    Headstones and Watchmen Fan Boy
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,941
    I just cant take these tablets .
    I tried half this time and feel so shit. 
    Why can't  will power and desire fix this.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,941
    At the moment im really thinking  i will have a beer. Ive done as im told and im worse
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • OffSheGoes35OffSheGoes35 Posts: 2,484
    You told us that the doctor mentioned sectioning, but you haven't mentioned what you think about it. Are you thinking about it or do you shut down when you try to consider it?
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,941
    I cant unless they take that out of my hands. 
    I have  kids and my mums birthday tomorrow.  My baby is 2 next week. 
    If i get suicidal thought s i will go to hospital.
    Atm im absolutely confused. Lost. And the world keeps turning. 
    I hate  being alone. Im so soft .  
    I want to learn acceptance , i haven't  yet in my life. Its the key im sure. 
    I can say i was better drinking  and smoking than this.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commetsPosts: 17,230
    Hang in there, Rob.
    There are some problems in life that have no good answers.  Knowing that you are working on acceptance is key, I think.
    We care about you.  
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • OffSheGoes35OffSheGoes35 Posts: 2,484
    One good thing about it would be that your doctor is ready to help you with the process, so you wouldn't have to do it alone and it would be your choice, so you would feel as if you have a measure of control over the situation. 
    That's one positive aspect.

    Another possible positive aspect would be that you would meet others who feel lost and confused, so you wouldn't feel alone in that. That alone can make it feel worth it. It did for my aunt anyway. 

    I hope you will do some research and think about it, because it may end up being what you've needed all along. 
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 15,723
    curious, how much sleep are you getting without the meds?
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,941
    I did sleep a good  amount but sober an hour then wake with heart pumping. Then awake 3 hours. Then sleep another hour or so. 
    I normally was getting  a good 8 hrs. 
    Atm not good
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 15,723
    I did sleep a good  amount but sober an hour then wake with heart pumping. Then awake 3 hours. Then sleep another hour or so. 
    I normally was getting  a good 8 hrs. 
    Atm not good
    so alcohol use is acting as a sedative then? the 8 hours was in the timeframe of your consumption? but in detoxing your sleep is erratic. which is normal for that process.

    did you feel rested before? when you were using?
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,941
    I think alcohol was ok in small amounts. If i had  too much sleep was less. But yeah i find i get restless legs and angry when sober sleeping
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 15,723
    I think alcohol was ok in small amounts. If i had  too much sleep was less. But yeah i find i get restless legs and angry when sober sleeping
    so consider then alcohol is or does mask some important things you experience that just may help your Doctors see you through this.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,941
    I cant understand  what though?
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,941
    My youngest  is 2 today. Ive woken same as always but worse. 
    I should notice anxiety  by now right. 
     Nope. To me its a terminal  illness..
    I fuckin hate myself and what ive become. 
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,944
    My youngest  is 2 today. Ive woken same as always but worse. 
    I should notice anxiety  by now right. 
     Nope. To me its a terminal  illness..
    I fuckin hate myself and what ive become. 
    Hate the illness not yourself, if you're going to hate anything.
    Wishing you strength. 
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,941
    Thank you . I do . I do hate it but i cant recognise it. Others always say oh thats anxiety. Its not i just know its not. Arrgghh im angry with me. Im angry  and sad
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,944
    Please don't be.
    Have you tried Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)?

    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,941
    That sounds like something  i will ask about. I have a mental health assessment  on monday. Thanks
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,944
    No problem. It's more about learning to live with your symptoms than fighting them which creates more anxiety.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,941
    Sounds like me
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 15,723
    very important to note, acceptance does NOT equal approval or condoning....

    simply means acknowledging agreeing that what is, is.....

    you can become neutral about it. at least partially so.

    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,941
    Its a great point because i have spent  years unable to accept. And these  symptoms definitely  not
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
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