A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,876
    Its all come on top. 3 am shaking crying. Heart racing. Breathing rapid. The enormity of this has hit me. Im fucked


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    How are you feeling now?
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,876
    Its 1.45pm i had half a valium at 10 and a can of beer now.. i feel dirty and wrong. Its not sustainable.  


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    Why do you feel that way, because of taking the medicine during the day? 
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,876
    Drinking is always a guilty  feeling. And i know valium is bad. I just dont know what to do anymore. 


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    Well, maybe the valium during the day can just be short term. Have you thought about cutting out Covid news for now?
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,332
    are you abusing either?

    aside from the guilt, are you getting some relief?
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,876
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    Well, maybe the valium during the day can just be short term. Have you thought about cutting out Covid news for now?
    I will so that if possible.  Its everywhere  here  school  gates are so awful for me. Its my job to take rosie in the a.m as my partner takes her  teen  son by car to college. 
    I always beat  myself  up so much. 


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,876
    mickeyrat said:
    are you abusing either?

    aside from the guilt, are you getting some relief?
    Im not abusing  either atm. I rarely take half a valium.  And drink  i have days of over doing it then days if one drink.  So I guess  alcohol  is a problem  as far as go to. 


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,876
    Relief  ... i was. Not today feels disgusting  and low


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,876
    edited September 2021
    Also im being  very honest  and vulnerable  on here i just suddenly  thought how many people see this and i feel vulnerable  and embarrassed.  Im too open sometimes.  I just  write here not thinking who is reading.  
    But i am me and i am honesty  personified 


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,332
    edited September 2021
    lastexitlondon said:
    Relief  ... i was. Not today feels disgusting  and low

    feelings as real as they are,  arent facts. they WILL pass if we let them. that's a judgement you are placing on yourself.

    some of what I've read from you gives me the impression you are punishing yourself for something. as if you believe you aren't worthy of peace. I've had my time in that. Terrible place to be.

    so if my impression is close to the truth, I ask why AREN'T you worthy of peace. Why not you? Same as anyone else?

    not that this is a cure all but dammit man, give yourself a fucking break once in a while.

    show yourself the same care and kindness you readily offer the folks here.
    Post edited by mickeyrat on
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,876
    edited September 2021
    mickeyrat said:
    lastexitlondon said:
    Relief  ... i was. Not today feels disgusting  and low

    feelings as real as they are,  arent facts. they WILL pass if we let them. that's a judgement you are placing on yourself.

    some of what I've read from you gives me the impression you are punishing yourself for something. as if you believe you aren't worthy of peace. I've had my time in that. Terrible place to be.

    so if my impression is close to the truth, I ask why AREN'T you worthy of peace. Why not you? Same as anyone else?

    not that this is a cure all but dammit man, give yourself a fucking break once in a while.
    That is accurate  my friend.  I cried  reading  it. Its true and i dont  understand wtf is happening  to me


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    lastexitlondon said:
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    Well, maybe the valium during the day can just be short term. Have you thought about cutting out Covid news for now?
    I will so that if possible.  Its everywhere  here  school  gateso awful for me. Its my job to take rosie in the a.m as my partner takes her  teen  son by car to college. 
    I always beat  myself  up so much. 
    I think you should go easy on yourself. This is new territory and you're just starting out. You need time to learn how to navigate and cope. 
    I think you will keep trying to find what works for you, and that is all anyone can ask for. I just hope you will give yourself some time and some room to make mistakes.
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,876
    I really do appreciate  you friends being here.i have this  next to my bed i just  re read it. My eldest daughter  wrote this  to me 6-8 months  ago. And its exactly  what you are saying


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,876



    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,332
    you've raised some smart girls. listen to them.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,876
    Thank you


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • HughFreakingDillon
    HughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 39,449
    lastexitlondon said:

    wow. amazing. 
    Hugh Freaking Dillon is currently out of the office, returning sometime in the fall




  • stuckinline
    stuckinline Posts: 3,406
    lastexitlondon said:

    Beautiful!!! What great insight....'one small crack does not mean that you are broken, it means you were put to the test and didn't fall apart'. 

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