OP, also, just learn the fact that you can not make someone love you or want to be more than friends with you. those feelings have to develop on their own.
for the most part, in my experience, i figured that out. mostly because i did not give a shit. if someone didn't want to be with me, it was "fuck them, on to the next one, because there are plenty out there who will..." i have had a hard time dealing with only 2 girls that i fell hard for. like totally hard, and those have been in the last 3 years. maybe it is because as i get older, the more giving with my feelings i have become. i give my love away more readily now.
i guess you get burned, you learn from it, and you move on. OP you are still young. i am gonna be 39 with no relationship prospects at this time. women i meet want to play around and nothing more. it is like they just want something based on sex because i have a little bit of a name in the music scene here. i dunno...it sucks, because i thought i would be married with a kid or two by now. just keep in mind that you are still young, and you have a lot of time left. don't waste your youth worrying about or holding a candle to someone who does not reciprocate those feelings anymore. there's so much more than that to life. don't waste your time, because time i finite.
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry." - Lincoln
I can't be bothered with most people in the office, I have nothing in common with them and most are two faced and/or bully smart asses. I come across as snobby and get misunderstood. I guess that is what you get when you bring a no bullshit punk attitude to a fake and contrived corporate job with corporate people. Being an artistic person won't get you far and pay the bills in today's world. So I am left to suffer kicking up to a rich CEO for another 40 years.
I hear ya. I couldn't do it, frankly. I worked in a corporate atmosphere for maybe three months after leaving university, and then i said FUCK THIS SHIT!! All of the brown-nosing and all the phonies just affected my soul in a negative way and went against my basic principles. I felt like I was a part of what makes the world a shitty place. I was not going to spend the rest of my life having the bottom $$$$ line rule my life. I went and got a good job at a university where everyone is artistic, and the bottom line is education and everyone agrees when it comes to a liberal mindset. Eccentrics are welcome, and there is youthful energy to feed off of. It's awesome..... go try and get a job at a public university (plenty of room for growth in your career there) and leave the corporate money-grubbing bullshit and the people who thrive on it behind. Honestly the best decision I ever made.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
To quote Corduroy - "can't let you roam inside my head", but I can't stop thinking about her even when I am doing my jogging and walking. The love and care I have for people is never reciprocated. :-(
how often is this "love and care" expressed overtly? Openly and honestly expressed?
One thing I am sure of now after having been left by my now former wife , loving someone is about the giving of it. Not the receiving. Wonderful if its reciprocated but shouldn't be expected in the same way we feel towards the other. Love will be expressed by how they feel based on their understanding. I didn't learn this about love UNTIL she left and wasn't coming back. She is now happily married to another, whom I met just today. I'm happy for her. Him too.
BUT if I'm in my head analyzing every last thing, then I can not recognize it when it is expressed. However simply that may be. A kind word. Warm smile. A cheerful hello.
I have a question for you, WHAT is it that you are thinking about her? The why's and what if's? Perhaps like the song your username comes from , you might be served well if you can not know and chase them away?
BTW corduroy is my most fave song by PJ
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Is there another person in the office with whom you share some interests with?
Could you possibly go to lunch with them and chat with? That may help you get over this little 'bump in the road' with you friend that is ignoring you. When she sees that you are able to move on, and don't depend on her friendship, she may come around.
Sometimes when a guy and girl have a friendship, and the guy likes the girl more than she likes him, she can feel a bit 'smothered' and find another friend to take the pressure off.
Most of them are two faced gossipers or way too immature for my time. Lone wolf it is from now on. I've lost trust for people now more so especially in the office.
I'll assume you are aware that to trust is to risk. And with risk comes the risk of failure. Without it NOTHING is valuable to a person IMO.
the greater the risk, the greater the potential for reward.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
loving someone is about the giving of it. Not the receiving. Wonderful if its reciprocated but shouldn't be expected in the same way we feel towards the other.
I can't be bothered with most people in the office, I have nothing in common with them and most are two faced and/or bully smart asses. I come across as snobby and get misunderstood. I guess that is what you get when you bring a no bullshit punk attitude to a fake and contrived corporate job with corporate people. Being an artistic person won't get you far and pay the bills in today's world. So I am left to suffer kicking up to a rich CEO for another 40 years.
You don't have to be best mates with everybody in the office, but maybe if you open up to other people just a bit then you might find you have something in common . Chitchat with other people and get to know them, "hi, how are you going? Did you have a good weekend?" etc. You don't have to be fake, still be yourself, but don't assume that you have nothing in common with another person.
I don't always work at the same place everyday, so I work with a lot of different people in unfamiliar places. If you are standoffish and assume you have nothing in common with other people, then other people mightn't take the time to get to know you.
PJ: Sydney, 11th February 2003 ♥ Sydney, 26th January 2014 ♥ EV: Sydney, 20th March 2011 ♥ EV: Perth, 7th February 2014 ♥ EV: Perth, 8th February 2014 ♥ EV: Sydney, 11th February 2014 ♥ EV: Sydney, 12th February 2014 ♥ EV: Sydney, 13th February 2014 ♥ EV: Brisbane, 22nd February 2014 ♥ EV: Brisbane, 23rd February 2014 ♥ EV: Brisbane, 25th February 2014 ♥
Maybe also find an outlet outside of work. You've said you started exercising - not sure how much good it's done but perhaps another release would help. Volunteering with people, children, animals - something to take you outside of yourself.
If I do anything random like that my parents will think I am a nutcase.
Sad thing about not being able to afford to move out is your every move is studied and you cannot be free to do what you want.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I have a question for you, WHAT is it that you are thinking about her? The why's and what if's? Perhaps like the song your username comes from , you might be served well if you can not know and chase them away?
BTW corduroy is my most fave song by PJ
I am thinking more so the betrayal than her falling for someone else.
It's that sudden ditching of me that hurts considering how I've always been there for her.
Also the fact I'd text her to see she's okay after she told me she was struggling with being bullied and her not even asking how I am going considering she knows my mum is ill and I have been struggling lately.
Also that I am being lied to and she is being fake nice in the office.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I can't be bothered with most people in the office, I have nothing in common with them and most are two faced and/or bully smart asses. I come across as snobby and get misunderstood. I guess that is what you get when you bring a no bullshit punk attitude to a fake and contrived corporate job with corporate people. Being an artistic person won't get you far and pay the bills in today's world. So I am left to suffer kicking up to a rich CEO for another 40 years.
You don't have to be best mates with everybody in the office, but maybe if you open up to other people just a bit then you might find you have something in common . Chitchat with other people and get to know them, "hi, how are you going? Did you have a good weekend?" etc. You don't have to be fake, still be yourself, but don't assume that you have nothing in common with another person.
I don't always work at the same place everyday, so I work with a lot of different people in unfamiliar places. If you are standoffish and assume you have nothing in common with other people, then other people mightn't take the time to get to know you.
Noone is into what I am into, they love golf, hunting deer, bodybuilding, shallow TV shows, fake music etc.
I hate that contrived chit chat, experience it every Monday morning in the elevator "how was your weekend, what did you do". Like people care, it's just to break silence.
If I didn't have a mortgage I'd quit right now and rethink my life.
I tried to get into a career I really wanted and recently got knocked back due to my recent history of seeing a psychologist. That hit me hard.
Other than that I have no other career ambition other than music but I suck at guitar can not come up with a song or sing.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I'm definitely with you on the small talk. Screw that. I don't understand why people feel the need. If there is nothing honest or meaningful or interesting or useful to say, then just enjoy the silence. Small talk is so phony. Mostly people asking about shit they don't care to know and other people responding with lies or nothingness.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
I'm definitely with you on the small talk. Screw that. I don't understand why people feel the need. If there is nothing honest or meaningful or interesting or useful to say, then just enjoy the silence. Small talk is so phony. Mostly people asking about shit they don't care to know and other people responding with lies or nothingness.
It is always the same questions with everyone in the office.
People ask each other the same thing all the time.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I'm definitely with you on the small talk. Screw that. I don't understand why people feel the need. If there is nothing honest or meaningful or interesting or useful to say, then just enjoy the silence. Small talk is so phony. Mostly people asking about shit they don't care to know and other people responding with lies or nothingness.
It is always the same questions with everyone in the office.
People ask each other the same thing all the time.
"How are you?"
"Fine! How are you?
"Pretty good!"
:fp:
In my office i have probably four people who have commented on the size of my umbrella when it's open and drying at least ten times each.
Monday: "Wow, that's a big umbrella!"
Tuesday: "Wow, that umbrella is big, haha!"
Wednesday: "How are you?" (didn't rain)
Thursday: "That sure is a big umbrella..... Just looks big."
.... Why are you fucking talking?? Also, it's just a normal oversized 52" folding umbrella. :fp: Seriously, I might go postal over the umbrella comments.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
I'm definitely with you on the small talk. Screw that. I don't understand why people feel the need. If there is nothing honest or meaningful or interesting or useful to say, then just enjoy the silence. Small talk is so phony. Mostly people asking about shit they don't care to know and other people responding with lies or nothingness.
It is always the same questions with everyone in the office.
People ask each other the same thing all the time.
Small talk can lead you to getting to know other people, if you want to get along with the people you work with. You said that you "come across as snobby and get misunderstood". Do you try and talk to the other people you work with? Or do you keep to yourself? If you chat with people you'll get to know what is going on in each other's lives.
Speaking from experience, it is really difficult when you have a sick parent, so you might find that a colleague has gone through something similar, or sometimes it can just be helpful to talk about what is going on instead of bottling it up.
I travelled by myself last year and I had some really interesting conversations with total strangers that started just from a bit of chitchat. If I had just kept to myself and not engaged in any conversation with them, then I wouldn't have had the same kind of experience.
PJ: Sydney, 11th February 2003 ♥ Sydney, 26th January 2014 ♥ EV: Sydney, 20th March 2011 ♥ EV: Perth, 7th February 2014 ♥ EV: Perth, 8th February 2014 ♥ EV: Sydney, 11th February 2014 ♥ EV: Sydney, 12th February 2014 ♥ EV: Sydney, 13th February 2014 ♥ EV: Brisbane, 22nd February 2014 ♥ EV: Brisbane, 23rd February 2014 ♥ EV: Brisbane, 25th February 2014 ♥
I'm definitely with you on the small talk. Screw that. I don't understand why people feel the need. If there is nothing honest or meaningful or interesting or useful to say, then just enjoy the silence. Small talk is so phony. Mostly people asking about shit they don't care to know and other people responding with lies or nothingness.
It is always the same questions with everyone in the office.
People ask each other the same thing all the time.
Small talk can lead you to getting to know other people, if you want to get along with the people you work with. You said that you "come across as snobby and get misunderstood". Do you try and talk to the other people you work with? Or do you keep to yourself? If you chat with people you'll get to know what is going on in each other's lives.
Speaking from experience, it is really difficult when you have a sick parent, so you might find that a colleague has gone through something similar, or sometimes it can just be helpful to talk about what is going on instead of bottling it up.
I travelled by myself last year and I had some really interesting conversations with total strangers that started just from a bit of chitchat. If I had just kept to myself and not engaged in any conversation with them, then I wouldn't have had the same kind of experience.
of course you should talk to your coworkers and get to know them. Non reason anyone has to do that with boring meaningless small talk. It's not actuallyvhard to come up with somwthing that is actually interesting or worthwhile when you speak to someone, whether you know them well or not. So thoughts_arrive, maybe make an effort to start some actual interesting conversations with the people you work with. If they have different hobbies, then something else. Current events is always a good place to start. You don't have to have things in common with someone to be able to talk about what's going on in the world. Or music. Always a good point of conversation, even if you don't like the same music. Just yesterday at a retirement party i found out by bringing up music that one of my coworkers, who i've always thought was really blah and never had a thing to say for himself, is really really into Chinese folk music and Chinese opera. The guy is more interesting to me now, even though we have absolutely nothing in common.
Post edited by PJ_Soul on
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
I'm definitely with you on the small talk. Screw that. I don't understand why people feel the need. If there is nothing honest or meaningful or interesting or useful to say, then just enjoy the silence. Small talk is so phony. Mostly people asking about shit they don't care to know and other people responding with lies or nothingness.
It is always the same questions with everyone in the office.
People ask each other the same thing all the time.
"How are you?"
"Fine! How are you?
"Pretty good!"
:fp:
I hate that, get asked every day.
I just say good, good and keep walking.
What am I going to say, depressed, anxious, miserable.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I'm definitely with you on the small talk. Screw that. I don't understand why people feel the need. If there is nothing honest or meaningful or interesting or useful to say, then just enjoy the silence. Small talk is so phony. Mostly people asking about shit they don't care to know and other people responding with lies or nothingness.
It is always the same questions with everyone in the office.
People ask each other the same thing all the time.
Small talk can lead you to getting to know other people, if you want to get along with the people you work with. You said that you "come across as snobby and get misunderstood". Do you try and talk to the other people you work with? Or do you keep to yourself? If you chat with people you'll get to know what is going on in each other's lives.
Speaking from experience, it is really difficult when you have a sick parent, so you might find that a colleague has gone through something similar, or sometimes it can just be helpful to talk about what is going on instead of bottling it up.
I travelled by myself last year and I had some really interesting conversations with total strangers that started just from a bit of chitchat. If I had just kept to myself and not engaged in any conversation with them, then I wouldn't have had the same kind of experience.
I've always been introverted and keep to myself.
I rarely approach someone for a chat, if someone says something interesting to me I will engage in chat.
I am a man of very few words, most times I just don't have anything to say.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I've always been introverted and keep to myself.
I rarely approach someone for a chat, if someone says something interesting to me I will engage in chat.
I am a man of very few words, most times I just don't have anything to say.
If you want better relationships with colleagues, why don't you try to initiate conversations more?
Surely you must have something you could say or if you don't want to talk about yourself, ask the other person questions.
Give it a try and you might find that people respond to you differently or they will want to chat to you more because you have shown an interest in talking to them.
PJ: Sydney, 11th February 2003 ♥ Sydney, 26th January 2014 ♥ EV: Sydney, 20th March 2011 ♥ EV: Perth, 7th February 2014 ♥ EV: Perth, 8th February 2014 ♥ EV: Sydney, 11th February 2014 ♥ EV: Sydney, 12th February 2014 ♥ EV: Sydney, 13th February 2014 ♥ EV: Brisbane, 22nd February 2014 ♥ EV: Brisbane, 23rd February 2014 ♥ EV: Brisbane, 25th February 2014 ♥
I've always been introverted and keep to myself.
I rarely approach someone for a chat, if someone says something interesting to me I will engage in chat.
I am a man of very few words, most times I just don't have anything to say.
If you want better relationships with colleagues, why don't you try to initiate conversations more?
Surely you must have something you could say or if you don't want to talk about yourself, ask the other person questions.
Give it a try and you might find that people respond to you differently or they will want to chat to you more because you have shown an interest in talking to them.
I am not a good conversationalist.
I never know how to break the ice or what to say, what to ask.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Well i hate to say this, but since everyone's being pretty honest here... Thoughts_Arrive, you actually sound pretty unwilling to do anything whatsoever to improve your situation. You rebuff every suggestion by saying "i'm not like that.".... Well, if you want to help yourself you're going to have to do something. Put in some effort. You don't sound willing to put in any effort to help yourself. You seem to want to just stay the same and hope that somehow things will change. Well, they won't unless you do. Just a new job won't be enough.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
Well i hate to say this, but since everyone's being pretty honest here... Thoughts_Arrive, you actually sound pretty unwilling to do anything whatsoever to improve your situation. You rebuff every suggestion by saying "i'm not like that.".... Well, if you want to help yourself you're going to have to do something. Put in some effort. You don't sound willing to put in any effort to help yourself. You seem to want to just stay the same and hope that somehow things will change. Well, they won't unless you do. Just a new job won't be enough.
I know, you're right.
It's like I am hypnotized by negativity and laziness.
My psych told me what to do when things get bad but I was too lazy to do them.
It's just that I am standing at the bottom of a mountain right now looking up.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
If I do anything random like that my parents will think I am a nutcase.
Sad thing about not being able to afford to move out is your every move is studied and you cannot be free to do what you want.
Well i hate to say this, but since everyone's being pretty honest here... Thoughts_Arrive, you actually sound pretty unwilling to do anything whatsoever to improve your situation. You rebuff every suggestion by saying "i'm not like that.".... Well, if you want to help yourself you're going to have to do something. Put in some effort. You don't sound willing to put in any effort to help yourself. You seem to want to just stay the same and hope that somehow things will change. Well, they won't unless you do. Just a new job won't be enough.
I know, you're right.
It's like I am hypnotized by negativity and laziness.
My psych told me what to do when things get bad but I was too lazy to do them.
It's just that I am standing at the bottom of a mountain right now looking up.
:(
Well, put on an official PJ boot that you really love (may i suggest Vault #3?) at a very high volume and ruminate on what you just said.
(you sound really depressed... should i assume you're on anti-depressants but they're not working??)
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
If I do anything random like that my parents will think I am a nutcase.
Sad thing about not being able to afford to move out is your every move is studied and you cannot be free to do what you want.
Well i hate to say this, but since everyone's being pretty honest here... Thoughts_Arrive, you actually sound pretty unwilling to do anything whatsoever to improve your situation. You rebuff every suggestion by saying "i'm not like that.".... Well, if you want to help yourself you're going to have to do something. Put in some effort. You don't sound willing to put in any effort to help yourself. You seem to want to just stay the same and hope that somehow things will change. Well, they won't unless you do. Just a new job won't be enough.
I know, you're right.
It's like I am hypnotized by negativity and laziness.
My psych told me what to do when things get bad but I was too lazy to do them.
It's just that I am standing at the bottom of a mountain right now looking up.
:(
Well, put on an official PJ boot that you really love (may i suggest Vault #3?) at a very high volume and ruminate on what you just said.
(you sound really depressed... should i assume you're on anti-depressants but they're not working??)
What is vault #3?
No medication here, going natural, I refuse medication.
I am doing better than the last 2 weeks but still flat.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
If I do anything random like that my parents will think I am a nutcase.
Sad thing about not being able to afford to move out is your every move is studied and you cannot be free to do what you want.
you said you have a mortgage....are you paying their mortgage?
I'm a bit confused about that too.
Some of this just doesn't make sense to me.
Sometimes you need to give yourself a swift kick in the figurative ass and get it in gear. Especially when you acknowledge you know where you need to be stronger but won't take the steps to get there.
I have tenants in a house I bought, to clear up any confusion.
your tenants are paying your mortgage... so saying you can't afford to move out sounds like an excuse.
...or are you fucking with everyone? if you're not, i apologize.
you're going to have to eventually move out. there's your goal. go.
You don't know my financial position so you cannot make such a call.
I have tried, done my budget and won't be able to do it alone.
Anyways this thread is derailing a bit, back to the topic.
If my colleague isn't romantically involved with this other colleague of mine, then wtf have I done to have her cut me off. I cannot put her out of my mind. This has taken me back to my school days when I was excluded by the cool kids.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Comments
for the most part, in my experience, i figured that out. mostly because i did not give a shit. if someone didn't want to be with me, it was "fuck them, on to the next one, because there are plenty out there who will..." i have had a hard time dealing with only 2 girls that i fell hard for. like totally hard, and those have been in the last 3 years. maybe it is because as i get older, the more giving with my feelings i have become. i give my love away more readily now.
i guess you get burned, you learn from it, and you move on. OP you are still young. i am gonna be 39 with no relationship prospects at this time. women i meet want to play around and nothing more. it is like they just want something based on sex because i have a little bit of a name in the music scene here. i dunno...it sucks, because i thought i would be married with a kid or two by now. just keep in mind that you are still young, and you have a lot of time left. don't waste your youth worrying about or holding a candle to someone who does not reciprocate those feelings anymore. there's so much more than that to life. don't waste your time, because time i finite.
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
One thing I am sure of now after having been left by my now former wife , loving someone is about the giving of it. Not the receiving. Wonderful if its reciprocated but shouldn't be expected in the same way we feel towards the other. Love will be expressed by how they feel based on their understanding. I didn't learn this about love UNTIL she left and wasn't coming back. She is now happily married to another, whom I met just today. I'm happy for her. Him too.
BUT if I'm in my head analyzing every last thing, then I can not recognize it when it is expressed. However simply that may be. A kind word. Warm smile. A cheerful hello.
I have a question for you, WHAT is it that you are thinking about her? The why's and what if's? Perhaps like the song your username comes from , you might be served well if you can not know and chase them away?
BTW corduroy is my most fave song by PJ
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
the greater the risk, the greater the potential for reward.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
You don't have to be best mates with everybody in the office, but maybe if you open up to other people just a bit then you might find you have something in common
I don't always work at the same place everyday, so I work with a lot of different people in unfamiliar places. If you are standoffish and assume you have nothing in common with other people, then other people mightn't take the time to get to know you.
Eddie Vedder Tribute Videos - Playlist
The EDvolution of Dance: youtu.be/-HtF3gRYHnE
eddievedderhallpass.tumblr.com
Guitar (I suck), Drawing, Writing poetry/lyrics.
If I do anything random like that my parents will think I am a nutcase.
Sad thing about not being able to afford to move out is your every move is studied and you cannot be free to do what you want.
I am a caring, nice person to everyone that appears nice.
I am thinking more so the betrayal than her falling for someone else.
It's that sudden ditching of me that hurts considering how I've always been there for her.
Also the fact I'd text her to see she's okay after she told me she was struggling with being bullied and her not even asking how I am going considering she knows my mum is ill and I have been struggling lately.
Also that I am being lied to and she is being fake nice in the office.
Noone is into what I am into, they love golf, hunting deer, bodybuilding, shallow TV shows, fake music etc.
I hate that contrived chit chat, experience it every Monday morning in the elevator "how was your weekend, what did you do". Like people care, it's just to break silence.
If I didn't have a mortgage I'd quit right now and rethink my life.
I tried to get into a career I really wanted and recently got knocked back due to my recent history of seeing a psychologist. That hit me hard.
Other than that I have no other career ambition other than music but I suck at guitar can not come up with a song or sing.
It is always the same questions with everyone in the office.
People ask each other the same thing all the time.
"Fine! How are you?
"Pretty good!"
:fp:
In my office i have probably four people who have commented on the size of my umbrella when it's open and drying at least ten times each.
Monday: "Wow, that's a big umbrella!"
Tuesday: "Wow, that umbrella is big, haha!"
Wednesday: "How are you?" (didn't rain)
Thursday: "That sure is a big umbrella..... Just looks big."
....
Small talk can lead you to getting to know other people, if you want to get along with the people you work with. You said that you "come across as snobby and get misunderstood". Do you try and talk to the other people you work with? Or do you keep to yourself? If you chat with people you'll get to know what is going on in each other's lives.
Speaking from experience, it is really difficult when you have a sick parent, so you might find that a colleague has gone through something similar, or sometimes it can just be helpful to talk about what is going on instead of bottling it up.
I travelled by myself last year and I had some really interesting conversations with total strangers that started just from a bit of chitchat. If I had just kept to myself and not engaged in any conversation with them, then I wouldn't have had the same kind of experience.
Eddie Vedder Tribute Videos - Playlist
The EDvolution of Dance: youtu.be/-HtF3gRYHnE
eddievedderhallpass.tumblr.com
I hate that, get asked every day.
I just say good, good and keep walking.
What am I going to say, depressed, anxious, miserable.
I've always been introverted and keep to myself.
I rarely approach someone for a chat, if someone says something interesting to me I will engage in chat.
I am a man of very few words, most times I just don't have anything to say.
If you want better relationships with colleagues, why don't you try to initiate conversations more?
Surely you must have something you could say or if you don't want to talk about yourself, ask the other person questions.
Give it a try and you might find that people respond to you differently or they will want to chat to you more because you have shown an interest in talking to them.
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I am not a good conversationalist.
I never know how to break the ice or what to say, what to ask.
I know, you're right.
It's like I am hypnotized by negativity and laziness.
My psych told me what to do when things get bad but I was too lazy to do them.
It's just that I am standing at the bottom of a mountain right now looking up.
do you live in your parents house or your own?
Well, put on an official PJ boot that you really love (may i suggest Vault #3?) at a very high volume and ruminate on what you just said.
(you sound really depressed... should i assume you're on anti-depressants but they're not working??)
Parents house aka prison :(
What is vault #3?
No medication here, going natural, I refuse medication.
I am doing better than the last 2 weeks but still flat.
you said you have a mortgage....are you paying their mortgage?
Some of this just doesn't make sense to me.
Sometimes you need to give yourself a swift kick in the figurative ass and get it in gear. Especially when you acknowledge you know where you need to be stronger but won't take the steps to get there.
Sorry if it sounds harsh.
It can work though. Ask many of the people here.
Comes a time to stop wallowing.
You can do it.
your tenants are paying your mortgage... so saying you can't afford to move out sounds like an excuse.
...or are you fucking with everyone? if you're not, i apologize.
you're going to have to eventually move out. there's your goal. go.
You don't know my financial position so you cannot make such a call.
I have tried, done my budget and won't be able to do it alone.
Anyways this thread is derailing a bit, back to the topic.
If my colleague isn't romantically involved with this other colleague of mine, then wtf have I done to have her cut me off. I cannot put her out of my mind. This has taken me back to my school days when I was excluded by the cool kids.