Friend at work just cutting me off for no known reason

PJ_Soul

I'm definitely with you on the small talk. Screw that. I don't understand why people feel the need. If there is nothing honest or meaningful or interesting or useful to say, then just enjoy the silence. Small talk is so phony. Mostly people asking about shit they don't care to know and other people responding with lies or nothingness.

Thoughts_Arrive

PJ_Soul wrote:

I'm definitely with you on the small talk. Screw that. I don't understand why people feel the need. If there is nothing honest or meaningful or interesting or useful to say, then just enjoy the silence. Small talk is so phony. Mostly people asking about shit they don't care to know and other people responding with lies or nothingness.

It is always the same questions with everyone in the office.
People ask each other the same thing all the time.

PJ_Soul

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

I'm definitely with you on the small talk. Screw that. I don't understand why people feel the need. If there is nothing honest or meaningful or interesting or useful to say, then just enjoy the silence. Small talk is so phony. Mostly people asking about shit they don't care to know and other people responding with lies or nothingness.

It is always the same questions with everyone in the office.
People ask each other the same thing all the time.

"How are you?"
"Fine! How are you?
"Pretty good!"
:fp:

In my office i have probably four people who have commented on the size of my umbrella when it's open and drying at least ten times each.
Monday: "Wow, that's a big umbrella!"
Tuesday: "Wow, that umbrella is big, haha!"
Wednesday: "How are you?" (didn't rain)
Thursday: "That sure is a big umbrella..... Just looks big."
.... Why are you fucking talking?? Also, it's just a normal oversized 52" folding umbrella. :fp: Seriously, I might go postal over the umbrella comments.

-Emma-

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

I'm definitely with you on the small talk. Screw that. I don't understand why people feel the need. If there is nothing honest or meaningful or interesting or useful to say, then just enjoy the silence. Small talk is so phony. Mostly people asking about shit they don't care to know and other people responding with lies or nothingness.

It is always the same questions with everyone in the office.
People ask each other the same thing all the time.

Small talk can lead you to getting to know other people, if you want to get along with the people you work with. You said that you "come across as snobby and get misunderstood". Do you try and talk to the other people you work with? Or do you keep to yourself? If you chat with people you'll get to know what is going on in each other's lives.
Speaking from experience, it is really difficult when you have a sick parent, so you might find that a colleague has gone through something similar, or sometimes it can just be helpful to talk about what is going on instead of bottling it up.

I travelled by myself last year and I had some really interesting conversations with total strangers that started just from a bit of chitchat. If I had just kept to myself and not engaged in any conversation with them, then I wouldn't have had the same kind of experience.

PJ_Soul

-Emma- wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

I'm definitely with you on the small talk. Screw that. I don't understand why people feel the need. If there is nothing honest or meaningful or interesting or useful to say, then just enjoy the silence. Small talk is so phony. Mostly people asking about shit they don't care to know and other people responding with lies or nothingness.

It is always the same questions with everyone in the office.
People ask each other the same thing all the time.

Small talk can lead you to getting to know other people, if you want to get along with the people you work with. You said that you "come across as snobby and get misunderstood". Do you try and talk to the other people you work with? Or do you keep to yourself? If you chat with people you'll get to know what is going on in each other's lives.
Speaking from experience, it is really difficult when you have a sick parent, so you might find that a colleague has gone through something similar, or sometimes it can just be helpful to talk about what is going on instead of bottling it up.

I travelled by myself last year and I had some really interesting conversations with total strangers that started just from a bit of chitchat. If I had just kept to myself and not engaged in any conversation with them, then I wouldn't have had the same kind of experience.

of course you should talk to your coworkers and get to know them. Non reason anyone has to do that with boring meaningless small talk. It's not actuallyvhard to come up with somwthing that is actually interesting or worthwhile when you speak to someone, whether you know them well or not. So thoughts_arrive, maybe make an effort to start some actual interesting conversations with the people you work with. If they have different hobbies, then something else. Current events is always a good place to start. You don't have to have things in common with someone to be able to talk about what's going on in the world. Or music. Always a good point of conversation, even if you don't like the same music. Just yesterday at a retirement party i found out by bringing up music that one of my coworkers, who i've always thought was really blah and never had a thing to say for himself, is really really into Chinese folk music and Chinese opera. The guy is more interesting to me now, even though we have absolutely nothing in common.

Thoughts_Arrive

PJ_Soul wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

I'm definitely with you on the small talk. Screw that. I don't understand why people feel the need. If there is nothing honest or meaningful or interesting or useful to say, then just enjoy the silence. Small talk is so phony. Mostly people asking about shit they don't care to know and other people responding with lies or nothingness.

It is always the same questions with everyone in the office.
People ask each other the same thing all the time.

"How are you?"
"Fine! How are you?
"Pretty good!"
:fp:

I hate that, get asked every day.
I just say good, good and keep walking.
What am I going to say, depressed, anxious, miserable.

Thoughts_Arrive

-Emma- wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

I'm definitely with you on the small talk. Screw that. I don't understand why people feel the need. If there is nothing honest or meaningful or interesting or useful to say, then just enjoy the silence. Small talk is so phony. Mostly people asking about shit they don't care to know and other people responding with lies or nothingness.

It is always the same questions with everyone in the office.
People ask each other the same thing all the time.

Small talk can lead you to getting to know other people, if you want to get along with the people you work with. You said that you "come across as snobby and get misunderstood". Do you try and talk to the other people you work with? Or do you keep to yourself? If you chat with people you'll get to know what is going on in each other's lives.
Speaking from experience, it is really difficult when you have a sick parent, so you might find that a colleague has gone through something similar, or sometimes it can just be helpful to talk about what is going on instead of bottling it up.

I travelled by myself last year and I had some really interesting conversations with total strangers that started just from a bit of chitchat. If I had just kept to myself and not engaged in any conversation with them, then I wouldn't have had the same kind of experience.

I've always been introverted and keep to myself.
I rarely approach someone for a chat, if someone says something interesting to me I will engage in chat.
I am a man of very few words, most times I just don't have anything to say.

-Emma-

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

I've always been introverted and keep to myself.
I rarely approach someone for a chat, if someone says something interesting to me I will engage in chat.
I am a man of very few words, most times I just don't have anything to say.

If you want better relationships with colleagues, why don't you try to initiate conversations more?

Surely you must have something you could say or if you don't want to talk about yourself, ask the other person questions.

Give it a try and you might find that people respond to you differently or they will want to chat to you more because you have shown an interest in talking to them.

Thoughts_Arrive

-Emma- wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

I've always been introverted and keep to myself.
I rarely approach someone for a chat, if someone says something interesting to me I will engage in chat.
I am a man of very few words, most times I just don't have anything to say.

If you want better relationships with colleagues, why don't you try to initiate conversations more?

Surely you must have something you could say or if you don't want to talk about yourself, ask the other person questions.

Give it a try and you might find that people respond to you differently or they will want to chat to you more because you have shown an interest in talking to them.

I am not a good conversationalist.
I never know how to break the ice or what to say, what to ask.

PJ_Soul

Well i hate to say this, but since everyone's being pretty honest here... Thoughts_Arrive, you actually sound pretty unwilling to do anything whatsoever to improve your situation. You rebuff every suggestion by saying "i'm not like that.".... Well, if you want to help yourself you're going to have to do something. Put in some effort. You don't sound willing to put in any effort to help yourself. You seem to want to just stay the same and hope that somehow things will change. Well, they won't unless you do. Just a new job won't be enough.

Thoughts_Arrive

PJ_Soul wrote:

Well i hate to say this, but since everyone's being pretty honest here... Thoughts_Arrive, you actually sound pretty unwilling to do anything whatsoever to improve your situation. You rebuff every suggestion by saying "i'm not like that.".... Well, if you want to help yourself you're going to have to do something. Put in some effort. You don't sound willing to put in any effort to help yourself. You seem to want to just stay the same and hope that somehow things will change. Well, they won't unless you do. Just a new job won't be enough.

I know, you're right.
It's like I am hypnotized by negativity and laziness.
My psych told me what to do when things get bad but I was too lazy to do them.
It's just that I am standing at the bottom of a mountain right now looking up.

shortstack

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

If I do anything random like that my parents will think I am a nutcase.
Sad thing about not being able to afford to move out is your every move is studied and you cannot be free to do what you want.

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

If I didn't have a mortgage I'd quit right now and rethink my life.

do you live in your parents house or your own?

PJ_Soul

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

Well i hate to say this, but since everyone's being pretty honest here... Thoughts_Arrive, you actually sound pretty unwilling to do anything whatsoever to improve your situation. You rebuff every suggestion by saying "i'm not like that.".... Well, if you want to help yourself you're going to have to do something. Put in some effort. You don't sound willing to put in any effort to help yourself. You seem to want to just stay the same and hope that somehow things will change. Well, they won't unless you do. Just a new job won't be enough.

I know, you're right.
It's like I am hypnotized by negativity and laziness.
My psych told me what to do when things get bad but I was too lazy to do them.
It's just that I am standing at the bottom of a mountain right now looking up.

:(

Well, put on an official PJ boot that you really love (may i suggest Vault #3?) at a very high volume and ruminate on what you just said.

(you sound really depressed... should i assume you're on anti-depressants but they're not working??)

Thoughts_Arrive

shortstack wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

If I do anything random like that my parents will think I am a nutcase.
Sad thing about not being able to afford to move out is your every move is studied and you cannot be free to do what you want.

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

If I didn't have a mortgage I'd quit right now and rethink my life.

do you live in your parents house or your own?

Parents house aka prison :(

Thoughts_Arrive

PJ_Soul wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

Well i hate to say this, but since everyone's being pretty honest here... Thoughts_Arrive, you actually sound pretty unwilling to do anything whatsoever to improve your situation. You rebuff every suggestion by saying "i'm not like that.".... Well, if you want to help yourself you're going to have to do something. Put in some effort. You don't sound willing to put in any effort to help yourself. You seem to want to just stay the same and hope that somehow things will change. Well, they won't unless you do. Just a new job won't be enough.

I know, you're right.
It's like I am hypnotized by negativity and laziness.
My psych told me what to do when things get bad but I was too lazy to do them.
It's just that I am standing at the bottom of a mountain right now looking up.

:(

Well, put on an official PJ boot that you really love (may i suggest Vault #3?) at a very high volume and ruminate on what you just said.

(you sound really depressed... should i assume you're on anti-depressants but they're not working??)

What is vault #3?
No medication here, going natural, I refuse medication.
I am doing better than the last 2 weeks but still flat.

shortstack

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

shortstack wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

If I do anything random like that my parents will think I am a nutcase.
Sad thing about not being able to afford to move out is your every move is studied and you cannot be free to do what you want.

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

If I didn't have a mortgage I'd quit right now and rethink my life.

do you live in your parents house or your own?

Parents house aka prison :(

you said you have a mortgage....are you paying their mortgage?

hedonist

shortstack wrote:

you said you have a mortgage....are you paying their mortgage?

I'm a bit confused about that too.

Some of this just doesn't make sense to me.

Sometimes you need to give yourself a swift kick in the figurative ass and get it in gear. Especially when you acknowledge you know where you need to be stronger but won't take the steps to get there.

Sorry if it sounds harsh.

It can work though. Ask many of the people here.

Comes a time to stop wallowing.

You can do it.

Thoughts_Arrive

I have tenants in a house I bought, to clear up any confusion.

shortstack

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

I have tenants in a house I bought, to clear up any confusion.

your tenants are paying your mortgage... so saying you can't afford to move out sounds like an excuse.

...or are you fucking with everyone? if you're not, i apologize.

you're going to have to eventually move out. there's your goal. go.

Thoughts_Arrive

shortstack wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

I have tenants in a house I bought, to clear up any confusion.

your tenants are paying your mortgage... so saying you can't afford to move out sounds like an excuse.

...or are you fucking with everyone? if you're not, i apologize.

you're going to have to eventually move out. there's your goal. go.

You don't know my financial position so you cannot make such a call.
I have tried, done my budget and won't be able to do it alone.
Anyways this thread is derailing a bit, back to the topic.
If my colleague isn't romantically involved with this other colleague of mine, then wtf have I done to have her cut me off. I cannot put her out of my mind. This has taken me back to my school days when I was excluded by the cool kids.