Drunk stories...

norm

RYEzupSF wrote:

pedialite pop.

isn't that a Scritti Politti song? :think: :-P

norm

rival. wrote:

norm wrote:

they all end the same...locked in the bathroom spooning the toilet...what is it about the bathroom floor that's so damn comfy when you're near alcohol poisoning? :think: :problem:

the cold tile is so welcoming!

and why have i never thought, "ok, your bedroom is too fuckin far away, but the bathtub is right here. why don't i climb in there and get off the floor?"

at that point, moving is the last thing i wanna do...i mean, that's like a 2 and half foot climb...fuck that! :P

conman

18 years old, my sisters wedding...


we started drinking before we got to the church...
i was drinking anything i could my hands on, i don't remember most of the reception. the last thing i remember is closing out the night with baba o'reily and my whole family screaming on the top of our lungs 'we're all wasted'

i woke up the next morning on the floor of the hotel hallway, missing a shoe, missing my bowtie, missing my tux jacket and for some reason had my arms wrapped around a centerpiece from one of the tables at the reception...

norm

conman wrote:

for some reason had my arms wrapped around a centerpiece from one of the tables at the reception...

peacefrompaul

conman wrote:

18 years old, my sisters wedding...


we started drinking before we got to the church...
i was drinking anything i could my hands on, i don't remember most of the reception. the last thing i remember is closing out the night with baba o'reily and my whole family screaming on the top of our lungs 'we're all wasted'

i woke up the next morning on the floor of the hotel hallway, missing a shoe, missing my bowtie, missing my tux jacket and for some reason had my arms wrapped around a centerpiece from one of the tables at the reception...

Epic :thumbup:

CAVSTARR313

conman wrote:

18 years old, my sisters wedding...


we started drinking before we got to the church...
i was drinking anything i could my hands on, i don't remember most of the reception. the last thing i remember is closing out the night with baba o'reily and my whole family screaming on the top of our lungs 'we're all wasted'

i woke up the next morning on the floor of the hotel hallway, missing a shoe, missing my bowtie, missing my tux jacket and for some reason had my arms wrapped around a centerpiece from one of the tables at the reception...

we have to party!!! better yet, you should be my date for the next wedding I go to.. not in a gay way.. just simply for the photo opps!!

rival.

norm wrote:

at that point, moving is the last thing i wanna do...i mean, that's like a 2 and half foot climb...fuck that! :P

which then begs the question. what is it about NOT moving that is SO awesome when you are on the verge of alcohol poisoning?

don't talk to me, don't touch me, don't even breathe on me. if you comply, i just might be OK in 16 hours.

81

norm wrote:

they all end the same...locked in the bathroom spooning the toilet...what is it about the bathroom floor that's so damn comfy when you're near alcohol poisoning? :think: :problem:

hmmm...i'll make sure to use the carpeted bathroom.

DS1119

Here's another one. Visting a buddy of mine at Cornell circa 1994. There is a Chinese restaurant in the downtown area of Ithaca. They serve these things called Dragon Bowls. Its this big fuckin dish of mixed liquor that everyone at the table drinks from with a straw...maybe a half gallon of liquor in each bowl. There were four of us and I think we shared two dishes. We ended up at this bar called American Pie and it was a bar located on the second floor of a building...what genius thought of this?? I mean you literally had to go up twenty or so steps to get to it. Well we hit the bar something fierce. For some reason one of the last things I remember is someone started buying Goldschlager shots...it's a scnapps with gold leaf floating in it and is the last thing you want to be drinking when you've already had too much. Suddenly I needed "some air" so I decide to go outside. According to my buddy I was with (the two girls we went to dinner with had left us)there I hit exactly every step falling down to get out of the bar. I was found sleeping the next mornig on a mailbox in downtown the next morning.



I literally just layed on top of the mailbox and fell asleep. Feet off of the ground and everything.

conman

Cavstarr313 wrote:

we have to party!!! better yet, you should be my date for the next wedding I go to.. not in a gay way.. just simply for the photo opps!!

it's a date!





:P

RW81233

DS1119 wrote:

Here's another one. Visting a buddy of mine at Cornell circa 1994. There is a Chinese restaurant in the downtown area of Ithaca. They serve these things called Dragon Bowls. Its this big fuckin dish of mixed liquor that everyone at the table drinks from with a straw...maybe a half gallon of liquor in each bowl. There were four of us and I think we shared two dishes. We ended up at this bar called American Pie and it was a bar located on the second floor of a building...what genius thought of this?? I mean you literally had to go up twenty or so steps to get to it. Well we hit the bar something fierce. For some reason one of the last things I remember is someone started buying Goldschlager shots...it's a scnapps with gold leaf floating in it and is the last thing you want to be drinking when you've already had too much. Suddenly I needed "some air" so I decide to go outside. According to my buddy I was with (the two girls we went to dinner with had left us)there I hit exactly every step falling down to get out of the bar. I was found sleeping the next mornig on a mailbox in downtown the next morning.



I literally just layed on top of the mailbox and fell asleep. Feet off of the ground and everything.

ha I was just there two weeks ago. Wife and I went to IC, and I gave a "distinguished grad" lecture at a career day. Afterward we went out to our old watering hole and it was sad...now it's a dance club/bar and charges 4 bucks for a pint of Labatt Blue Light. Used to get 3 for 1s now it's 1 for 4. Anyway probably my best drunk IC story was the night I played one of my best buddies in a best of 5, head-to-head, series in a drinking game called bonk on spring break (questions check the Phillies thread where I talk about the league we play in every week during the summer over skype and I'm usually mildly toasted after 1 game). We play games 1-3 from 7-9 o'clock, and head to my PJ-buddy's apartment and have a grand old time drinking wine, and johnnie walker. As it stands it was about 35 degrees out, and Holy Cross is beating KU during march madness. I claim that if Holy Cross wins I will jump in the fountain on campus. Well everyone thought it'd be a great idea. Holy Cross fails, but we decide to head down at about 11 in a group of like 15 (12 guys, 3 girls including one who was trying to help me get with a girl who wasn't there (by giving me ideas of where to take her on our first date), AND me at the same time). Anyway we get there and a bunch of the boys run home for whatever reason and 3 of us guys jump in swim to one side and back. The girls start stripping to jump in and campus security catches us . We run away, and get corned by a cop soaking wet, and I'm holding this girls hand (not even sure how that happened). We tell the cops that we all just showered and didn't even know there was a fountain on campus and he lets us go. The girl then convinces me to go back with her. My buddy fakes losing his keys and comes down to cockblock (asshole move at the time). Anyway we go in and probably would have hooked up if he wasn't there...then head back. Got back and she decides not to hook up, and she goes back to her friends place (the other girl's best friend). My buddy and I go back to the apartment and play games 4 and 5 (each of us finished a case by 3 am). My buddy wakes up on one couch and I wake up on the other, and I look at him and say "if I don't marry this girl (the one who wasn't there) I will kill you". I puked all day, then 6 years later the girl who wasn't their and I got married and he was absolved.

ShimmyMommy

I have one, don't know if it's funny enough though...

It was the time I went to a stag and doe with my best friend, for her cousin. That was about 4 years ago. Her family are the drinking type, not the dancing type. She's Newfie/Irish. She can drink almost anyone under the table. It was years since we went out and had drinks. The party was literally a 10-minute walk from my house. Worked out great, as my hubby was at late game of pick-up hockey. So what did I decide do? Go and match drink-for-drink with her.

Stupid ass move. I admit I am a light weight...two or three messes me up nicely. However, I thought what's one night... :roll:

We got there at 9:30. We did many double shots ...of every kind of shots they had, I think there were like 8 kinds? Lots of mixed drinks, a glass of wine,and a couple beers (I am not a beer drinker). And we were chugging the drinks...chugging. :shock:

About 11:30, I was at the point that the alcohol tasted like water. Then...it happened. I asked for the tequila and did four shots...within minutes of each other. My friend was only just getting drunk...as far as her and her family was concerned, I was close to alcohol poisoning. They were really concerned actually, so I was cut off. :oops:

At this point I was cursing like a real pirate trucker. My hubby arrived at midnight, ready to call it a night. I attempted to walk home as my hubby went back outside (to get the car) and I thought he was going to leave me there. He was getting annoyed that I was taking too long hugging everyone and telling them I loved them. Which I do...I have known them for at least 20 years.

I just remember getting home, flopping into bed, and wondering how my hubby knew to lay on a certain side to stop everything from spinning tornado style. I didn't throw up...at least I don't recall, and no one told me I did. But I did get lectures the next day, that lightweights like me should never go drink-for-drink with regular drinkers, as I could have had alcohol poisoning.

The whole event lasted 3 hours from beginning to end. :shock:

Yup...learned my lesson, I am going to stick with being the DD, I feel waaaaay better in the morning!!

DS1119

RW81233 wrote:

I literally just layed on top of the mailbox and fell asleep. Feet off of the ground and everything.

ha I was just there two weeks ago. Wife and I went to IC, and I gave a "distinguished grad" lecture at a career day. Afterward we went out to our old watering hole and it was sad...now it's a dance club/bar and charges 4 bucks for a pint of Labatt Blue Light. Used to get 3 for 1s now it's 1 for 4. Anyway probably my best drunk IC story was the night I played one of my best buddies in a best of 5, head-to-head, series in a drinking game called bonk on spring break (questions check the Phillies thread where I talk about the league we play in every week during the summer over skype and I'm usually mildly toasted after 1 game). We play games 1-3 from 7-9 o'clock, and head to my PJ-buddy's apartment and have a grand old time drinking wine, and johnnie walker. As it stands it was about 35 degrees out, and Holy Cross is beating KU during march madness. I claim that if Holy Cross wins I will jump in the fountain on campus. Well everyone thought it'd be a great idea. Holy Cross fails, but we decide to head down at about 11 in a group of like 15 (12 guys, 3 girls including one who was trying to help me get with a girl who wasn't there (by giving me ideas of where to take her on our first date), AND me at the same time). Anyway we get there and a bunch of the boys run home for whatever reason and 3 of us guys jump in swim to one side and back. The girls start stripping to jump in and campus security catches us . We run away, and get corned by a cop soaking wet, and I'm holding this girls hand (not even sure how that happened). We tell the cops that we all just showered and didn't even know there was a fountain on campus and he lets us go. The girl then convinces me to go back with her. My buddy fakes losing his keys and comes down to cockblock (asshole move at the time). Anyway we go in and probably would have hooked up if he wasn't there...then head back. Got back and she decides not to hook up, and she goes back to her friends place (the other girl's best friend). My buddy and I go back to the apartment and play games 4 and 5 (each of us finished a case by 3 am). My buddy wakes up on one couch and I wake up on the other, and I look at him and say "if I don't marry this girl (the one who wasn't there) I will kill you". I puked all day, then 6 years later the girl who wasn't their and I got married and he was absolved.[/quote]

Great story! I am actually banned from the Ithaca College Campus. I signed a document to get out of being arrested that will not allow me on the property without approval. Let me remember the details and then I'll post.

SVRDhand13

OP you got drunk off lemon drops? Did you have like 20 of them?

DS1119

SVRDhand13 wrote:

OP you got drunk off lemon drops? Did you have like 20 of them?

Probably more than that actually.

SVRDhand13

DS1119 wrote:

SVRDhand13 wrote:

OP you got drunk off lemon drops? Did you have like 20 of them?

Probably more than that actually.

Okay good .

DS1119

ShimmyMommy wrote:

Then...it happened. I asked for the tequila and did four shots...within minutes of each other. quote]

That's where it happened...

ShimmyMommy

DS1119 wrote:

ShimmyMommy wrote:

Then...it happened. I asked for the tequila and did four shots...within minutes of each other.

That's where it happened...

it gets me every time...the night I first met my hubby, I had just done 3 shots with the host as no one else would...


shit...that explains a whole lot... :think:


DS1119, you must be self-medicated quite well...you're quoting skills are failing I see...

norm

there was the night my buddy's girlfriend (now wife) out drank me...puked so bad i blew out the blood vessels in my left eye

maynardsux

rival. wrote:

after walking for what seemed like an hour or two, i thought i was best off sleeping on a bench, not a park bench, but a pubic bench on the corner of a busy intersection.

:?