Dying alone

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  • RYMERYME Wisconsin Posts: 905
    edited February 8
    Ryme... you're messing up the quotes. You're typing in the quoted area and then things kind of get jumbled.

    Please make sure you're below the quoted section when you start going to work on a post.

    I'm not pointing this out to suggest anything or belittle you. It's happened a few times lately and to keep things clearer... it's better when each post everybody offers stands uniquely upon presentation to the community.
    I don't know why it sometimes does that to me. I start typing in the white section and then it bounces my words up into somebody else's gray quote. If you could tell me how to avoid that I would appreciate it.
    Now the same thing happened at to thoughts arrive.
    Post edited by RYME on
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 11,468
    Ryme... you're messing up the quotes. You're typing in the quoted area and then things kind of get jumbled.

    Please make sure you're below the quoted section when you start going to work on a post.

    I'm not pointing this out to suggest anything or belittle you. It's happened a few times lately and to keep things clearer... it's better when each post everybody offers stands uniquely upon presentation to the community.

    I completely agree, hard to read otherwise.

    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 11,468
    RYME said:
    Ryme... you're messing up the quotes. You're typing in the quoted area and then things kind of get jumbled.

    Please make sure you're below the quoted section when you start going to work on a post.

    I'm not pointing this out to suggest anything or belittle you. It's happened a few times lately and to keep things clearer... it's better when each post everybody offers stands uniquely upon presentation to the community.
    I don't know why it sometimes does that to me. I start typing in the white section and then it bounces my words up into somebody else's gray quote. If you could tell me how to avoid that I would appreciate it.
    happens to me all the time. I then have to refresh the screen to get it out of the box.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

  • It happens to me sometimes too.

    When I start typing... I now always check to make sure I'm below the quoted section. If I notice I'm in the quoted section... I quit and start again.

    It's an easy mistake to make- especially on a mobile device.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • dignindignin Posts: 5,591
    edited February 8
    It doesn't make sense that the updates to this site have made it shittier.

    Once you end up in the other persons quote box you're pretty much fucked and you need to bail out and start over, never used to be like that.
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 11,468
    dignin said:
    It doesn't make sense that the updates to this site have made it shittier.

    Once you end up in the other persons quote box you're pretty much fucked and you need to bail out and start over, never used to be like that.
    Has anyone raised it with Kat/Sea?
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 10,079
    RYME said:
    Ryme... you're messing up the quotes. You're typing in the quoted area and then things kind of get jumbled.

    Please make sure you're below the quoted section when you start going to work on a post.

    I'm not pointing this out to suggest anything or belittle you. It's happened a few times lately and to keep things clearer... it's better when each post everybody offers stands uniquely upon presentation to the community.
    I don't know why it sometimes does that to me. I start typing in the white section and then it bounces my words up into somebody else's gray quote. If you could tell me how to avoid that I would appreciate it.
    Now the same thing happened at to thoughts arrive.
    It happens to me when auto-correct fills in the first word of my post, usually happens on words with an apostrophe because I don't bother typing it.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • RYMERYME Wisconsin Posts: 905
    My comment accidentally ended up in your quote. So I'll just bring it down so we can continue the conversation.
  • RYMERYME Wisconsin Posts: 905
    edited February 8
    RYME said:
    rgambs said:
    I've watched a few people die and I'm convinced we all die alone and that's ok.
    The moment of the last breath usually comes much, much slower than people think, often even in more sudden deaths than natural causes.
    I think the percentage of people who are aware of their last breath is next to zero, and in that moment you are alone inside yourself, if you still exist at all.
    It's nice for the survivors to feel that it was good that someone was there, I sat that vigil myself for my uncle, but I don't think it matters at all to the departing. 
    I watched my uncle die. It was terrifying to see. it was 20 years ago and I'll never forget it. 

    Promoting my religion isn't it.  I don't get payed to say what I say.  I'm referring to Thirty Bills. 
    I do enjoy trying to provide greving people with a few comforting words.  
    People can take or leave what I say, I don't know why people get offended when My wish is to bring a little comfort to anyone struggling with the loss of a loved one.
    Your uncle Hugh, is in a much better place right now, he probably Watches Over You, He's not gone, he's not out here in a cold hole in the ground somewhere.  The Flesh usually gets cremated or buried when it dies, but the spirit lives on. 
    Your uncle, family members, frends, loved ones are very much alive and in that parallel dimension which is what heaven is.  Heaven is not some place far far away up in the sky somewhere at the other end of the Galaxy, it's right here.
    We cannot see that other dimension when we are in the flesh.  To be absent from the flesh body is to be present with the Lord.  Corinthians chapter 5 verse 8 is where you'll find that documented.
    https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Corinthians+5&version=KJV
    We have two bodies, a flesh body & a spirit body.
    Your spirit body lives inside your flesh body when you're in the flesh. When the flesh body dies your flesh body returns to the ground, (flesh bodies are basically made out of clay or dirt to put it bluntly) and your spirit body (made out of a totally different substance) goes to that other dimension where you will be present with the Lord and those loved friends and relatives that have passed on along the way before you.  
    Now,,, if people here don't like what I just said that's fine let it go, and I'll let it go.
    If it provides a little bit of comfort knowing that you're loved ones and relatives are not gone I would think that would be a good thing.
    And Hugh, maby you can finally have  some peace of mind, even though you watched your uncle's flesh body die, He is not gone & you will see him again.
    Go in peace.
    ... I was having technical difficulties sorry to bring it down again.
    Post edited by RYME on
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 12,955
    Ryme... you're messing up the quotes. You're typing in the quoted area and then things kind of get jumbled.

    Please make sure you're below the quoted section when you start going to work on a post.

    I'm not pointing this out to suggest anything or belittle you. It's happened a few times lately and to keep things clearer... it's better when each post everybody offers stands uniquely upon presentation to the community.
    the way I figured it out, if I backspace into the preceding quote by accident, I just hit F5 (!) to refresh the page and try again. that way my words don't go into anyone else's quote. You'd think the software wouldn't allow people to alter others' quotes, but what do I know? 
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 12,955
    unless you are dying slowly in a hospital or palliative care, we almost always die alone, don't we? if we weren't alone, we are often saved, and if we can't be saved, it's often incredibly quick. I don't think it's very common for people to be aware for too long, if any time at all, that they are dying, and they spend a terrifying minute on the floor gasping for air. that's movie shit. most, if not all, of the people I've known in the last few years who have died had no idea it was happening. shit just went black. my buddy's mom, as the doctor put it, was dead before she hit the floor. which is an odd way to put it to a grieving son, but comforting nonetheless. his best friend the same thing. my father in law's best friend, again, same thing. 
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 18,683
    gimme, I am so sorry - for you and the rest of his family.  That is too damned young.

    I think there are many who go through a long, agonizing (for them and loved ones) process of dying.  ALS, terminal cancer, and on.

    Man, I need to get a will and "instructions" in order.
  • I was thinking about this topic a bit. Let's say my wife and I grow old together. One of us is dying alone. It's just a fact of life. We are all in this together: we will all experience that moment when we pass- whether consciously or not. Don't fear it- just accept it and enjoy the moments before it.

    Get all the enjoyment you can from this planet while you are able to. And when you pass... let people speak well of you for all the good things you have done and all the enjoyment you brought people. 
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 22,038
    i'm 42 and single. i typically have long relationships and go long periods free and single. i have never thought about dying alone. i always assumed i would go after i have settled down with a wife and kids at some point in my 80s. never really gave it much thought.

    until last night.

    i got a call from my mom at about 10:30 pm. she said that my uncle John was found dead in his bed yesterday evening. he was 58. he was married and had 5 kids, 4 of which were on their own out of state. my youngest cousin is in high school and still lives at home. 

    since he was only 15 years older than me he was more like a big brother. i was close to him when i was growing up. he had more of an influence on my life than my own father. you don't really think about how people impact you until it is too late and you are forced to do a retrospective. then it hits you. he is the one that got me in to hockey at age 4. he got me in to rock n roll a little later. he is the reason i played hockey for all those years through college and grad school. he is the family member responsible for me picking up a guitar. without him and his influence i don't know who I would be today.

    i last saw him christmas eve, and last talked to him on the phone about something I don't even recall in mid january.

    his wife and daughter were out of town in florida for a school function over this past weekend. they got suspicious when he did not answer his phone sunday night or all day monday. they left voicemails and then his mailbox was full and he did not return any calls. his wife got a call that he did not go to work monday or tuesday and work could not reach him, she called the police and asked them to do a welfare check and they found him alone in his bed last night. 

    i'm still numb. he was very gregarious and was the life of the party and was the one uncle that kind of kept the family together after my grandmother died. he passed away alone. he deserved better than that, but nobody knew he was going to die. 

    i don't want to die alone. 
    I'm very sorry to hear about your loss, gimme.  It's so hard to loss someone close like that.  Good thoughts and best wishes for you, buddy.
    We're living on the edge of something big. It's a fantastic time in history to be alive.
    AMT, 1.25.15, 00:36 hrs.
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 38,694
    I'm really really sorry to read about you and your family's loss Gimme. :frowning: It must be so much tougher when the person is that young and it's so unexpected. I hope you're doing okay.

    Your story definitely confirms that no matter what choices we make or don't make, there is no way to make sure you don't die alone. It is probably good to come to terms with that - I don't think I find it terribly healthy to be basing major life decisions on this fear. One should have many reasons to get married, have kids, co-habitate, etc, but none of those reasons should be that you don't want to die alone.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • I've been thinking about this. I might find it easier to die alone as its the people in my life that make it hard to die. If you get what i mean?
    brixton 93
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    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 12,955
    I've been thinking about this. I might find it easier to die alone as its the people in my life that make it hard to die. If you get what i mean?
    yep. I can't tell you the many nights I lay awake wishing that there was some way to erase my existence from the minds of those that care. Because without that......I could go. 
  • Miss.SnowdropMiss.Snowdrop ScotlandPosts: 83
    I've been thinking about this. I might find it easier to die alone as its the people in my life that make it hard to die. If you get what i mean?
    yep. I can't tell you the many nights I lay awake wishing that there was some way to erase my existence from the minds of those that care. Because without that......I could go. 
    As someone who almost did not make it into the world in the first place... I am bloody thankful I got/get to live and be a part of it now! It makes me appreciate my existence more. Once I understood that there was a chance of a world without me in it, the idea of wanting to leave it early became a lot less appealing...
  • Easy come . Easy go. Easy left me a long time ago.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 22,038
    Easy come . Easy go. Easy left me a long time ago.
    Isn't that the truth!  I find it so as well.  Yet as much as I often wish for more easy,  I also find I learn and grow more from hard than I do from easy.
    We're living on the edge of something big. It's a fantastic time in history to be alive.
    AMT, 1.25.15, 00:36 hrs.
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.
  • Im getting tired so tired. I don't wish to be melodramatic.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • I've been thinking about this. I might find it easier to die alone as its the people in my life that make it hard to die. If you get what i mean?
    yep. I can't tell you the many nights I lay awake wishing that there was some way to erase my existence from the minds of those that care. Because without that......I could go. 
    This is me right now
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 22,038
    I've been thinking about this. I might find it easier to die alone as its the people in my life that make it hard to die. If you get what i mean?
    yep. I can't tell you the many nights I lay awake wishing that there was some way to erase my existence from the minds of those that care. Because without that......I could go. 
    This is me right now
    I took the O.D. plunge, once on purpose, once sort by accident.  It really seemed like there was no choice, no way out. I was done.

    But by sheer, dumb, unearned, possibly undeserved luck, I lived.   I saw the pain of my near suicide in the eyes of people close to me and I felt like I was given to a lifetime sentence of having to stay alive because I couldn't do that to them again.  So then it became just being alive.  Then it became wanting to live.  Then it became living.  Now I often think about how every day for me is like winning the lottery, even the bad days, even the worst days (and some of my days are brutal and hard) but on the fair days, life is good.  On the good days, life is great. 

    I don't know what pain you guys have- no one else can feel it- but I hope you'll at least consider that dying might not really be such a good choice after all. 
    We're living on the edge of something big. It's a fantastic time in history to be alive.
    AMT, 1.25.15, 00:36 hrs.
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.
  • AnnafalkAnnafalk SwedenPosts: 3,455
    I've been thinking about this. I might find it easier to die alone as its the people in my life that make it hard to die. If you get what i mean?
    yep. I can't tell you the many nights I lay awake wishing that there was some way to erase my existence from the minds of those that care. Because without that......I could go. 
    This is me right now
    There must be some way for you to find happiness in life again. 
  • Annafalk said:
    I've been thinking about this. I might find it easier to die alone as its the people in my life that make it hard to die. If you get what i mean?
    yep. I can't tell you the many nights I lay awake wishing that there was some way to erase my existence from the minds of those that care. Because without that......I could go. 
    This is me right now
    There must be some way for you to find happiness in life again. 
    Im searching. I have symptoms that i can't cope with thats the sticking point. Im not living. Barely existing im sorry to be so negative the whole time i realise this and its not nice for everyone . You very kind anna
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
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