PJ fans in 12 step Recovery

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  • Red Burrito
    Red Burrito Posts: 484
    LiteTheMatch wrote:
    I'd like to recommend the book:

    The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz


    It may change your life!

    I agree, definitely an awesome book!
    the sorrow grows bigger, when the sorrow's denied
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,306
    brain of c wrote:
    or just quit drinking.

    i had chinese for dinner and my fortune cookie says...'only you can change your life. no one can do it for you.'

    even some of a.a.'s literature says the same thing.
    Well if you ARE an alcoholic of MY type just not drinking isn't going to cut it.And the crack use............. well just not didn't work either.

    But thanks for the tip.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • melodious
    melodious Posts: 1,719
    what have they labeled you as? why can't you just say you wrestle with certain issues?
    all insanity:
    a derivitive of nature.
    nature is god
    god is love
    love is light
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,306
    melodious wrote:
    what have they labeled you as? why can't you just say you wrestle with certain issues?
    THEY didn't label me anything. I identify myself as an alcoholic/addict. If it was easy to just NOT drink/drug I likely wouldn't have ended up homeless , jobless, damn near friendless.

    And I've stopped "wrestling", which along with doing certain things has allowed me to not drink or smoke crack/ pot, raid your medicine cabinet, weasle my way into your house to just crash on your couch for a few days and months later take off without so much as a "thanks for your hospitality."

    How I choose to Identify myself is my concern.

    And in case no one has noticed the title of this thread...........
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • melodious
    melodious Posts: 1,719
    G'journey to you. I appreciate how you look at your strengths.
    all insanity:
    a derivitive of nature.
    nature is god
    god is love
    love is light
  • mcunny-mccready
    mcunny-mccready Posts: 20
    good thread. I'm sober over 3 years and struggling with shit more than i can remember in sobriety. Not with the using drinking/using, just life shit. I understand gods will and all that but doesn't mean it easy all the time. a couple of poor decisions and life's stuff can get me in a funk. i know what I need to do but struggle with doing it sometimes. Anyways thanks for thread and reading/listening
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,306
    mcunny wrote:
    good thread. I'm sober over 3 years and struggling with shit more than i can remember in sobriety. Not with the using drinking/using, just life shit. I understand gods will and all that but doesn't mean it easy all the time. a couple of poor decisions and life's stuff can get me in a funk. i know what I need to do but struggle with doing it sometimes. Anyways thanks for thread and reading/listening
    Welcome. This was intended to I guess be a forum where recovery was discussed in relation to the music we all love so much.

    Couple pages ago it was briefly hijacked but whatever.If you want to get some things off your chest feel free to pm me or solicit some others opinions.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Commy
    Commy Posts: 4,984
    I've been sober for 2 years.


    life wasted seems to have hit me the most.


    "I've faced it...a life wasted...and I'm never going back again."

    and that's the truth.


    I'm not in any program...I just one day decided to stop doing coke everyday, stop taking shots of JD on the way to and on the way home from work, and stopped taking bonghits every few hours.

    and that was interesting...after 12 years of really never being sober suddenly I had to learn how to deal with life all over again. in about 1 week. and its been tough, had some help on the way, through family/friends, but still dealing with the recovery, after 2 years.

    and I'm still here.


    and this isn't pearl jam...but this song has really helped me...

    Ashes divide.

    too late.

    If I could separate me from myself, I'd stay away from me.
    If you decide I'm wrong, and you can wait that long, maybe it's not too late.

    I will not lose you to the melting sky
    Or to the mad parade
    To the bloody jaws or the fire fall
    Don't be afraid.

    You need never know, a cold heart, heart of stone
    Or lonely memory, you will never be alone

    If I could separate me from myself, I'd stay away from me.
    If you decide I'm wrong, and you can wait that long, maybe it's not too late.

    I will not lose you to a world that doesn't care
    To the monsters that would have you.
    Never surrender you, I always will be there
    I will be there to wrap myself around you
    I will not lose you to the dark or to the nights
    To the terrible machine
    Never let you lose your light

    If I could separate me from myself, I'd stay away from me.
    But if you decide I'm wrong, and you can wait that long, don't fall away from me.

    Don't pull away...

    If I could separate me from myself, I'd stay away from me.
    But if you think I belong, stay and keep me strong, maybe it's not too late.
  • pj4fans
    pj4fans Posts: 4
    I have been sitting reading these posts for the past hour or so and appreciate everyone's input and shares. I have been struggling with addictions for as long as I can remember and just started going to meetings this past July with any sort of consistency. My biggest problem seems to be facing the demons and after the abuses I have put myself through the years, I feel like an infant in a lot of ways. Especially emotionally seeing that I used to deal with all my problems by numbing myself and just letting the time roll on.

    Anyway I don't want to rant on...I just think it is great that people are putting themselves out there and reaching out to support one another. Thank you.

    To add some lyrics that I think resonate with me this evening as I head to a meeting and to make it PJ appropriate, in the words of EV "this is a song you can sing to your own body" :

    It's okay, it's okay (x4)
    You don't have to run and hide away
    It's okay, it's okay
    I love you anyway
    It's okay, it's okay
    You don't need to run and hide away
    It's okay, it's okay
    This is my life, this is my chance
    This is my hope in an alleyway
    This is my choice, this is my voice
    There may be no tomorrow, now
    This is my plea, this is my need
    This is my day to be free
    This is my time, this is my way
    In a world that's never safe
    It's okay, it's okay
    You gotta let me run away
    It's okay, it's okay
    Oh now let me run away
    It's okay, it's okay
    You're gonna run and hide away
    It's okay, it's okay
  • melodious
    melodious Posts: 1,719
    Gosh, I feel like an infant too. I continually try to improve my environment and end up making mistakes. Then I have to face them...I wanna crumble when this happens too...You are not alone...

    I learned this: Clear, disengage, reconnect...When we feel movement that isn't forward we can practice this and eventually, anxiety may lighten up. It seems like we feel success for seconds and then yet another opportunity knocks at our door...
    all insanity:
    a derivitive of nature.
    nature is god
    god is love
    love is light
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,306
    pj4fans wrote:
    I have been sitting reading these posts for the past hour or so and appreciate everyone's input and shares. I have been struggling with addictions for as long as I can remember and just started going to meetings this past July with any sort of consistency. My biggest problem seems to be facing the demons and after the abuses I have put myself through the years, I feel like an infant in a lot of ways. Especially emotionally seeing that I used to deal with all my problems by numbing myself and just letting the time roll on.

    Anyway I don't want to rant on...I just think it is great that people are putting themselves out there and reaching out to support one another. Thank you.

    My pleasure. To be able to share the message of hope that I found and get to express my love for the words and music that have helped me is a blessing.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • mcunny-mccready
    mcunny-mccready Posts: 20
    so it's about a week since my last post and i can easily forget that "this too shall pass". I can get caught up in my own shit when things really aren't that bad at all. I would like to say in regards to the music that it has always been a huge part of my life and since sobriety i have even more of an appreciation for it. When I listen to PJ i can hear and feel it from the inside out. That is what makes this band and it's fans so amazing to me. IMO most of there songs are just relevant to life. There are too many to list but a couple are inside job and in hiding, I can have a tendency to isolate at times. Mickey Rats thanks for the kind words of help. Like other people have talked about, I can feel like an infant at times. I'm quite sure i stopped growing and developing skills "normal" people develop once I started heavy drug and alcohol use. So i was in a 30 y/o body with the mentality and coping skills of a teenager. I have made progress but it's a constant state of growing for me. I need to try and do the next right thing, which I do more often than not these days so that is progress. Anyways everyone have a great day and thanks again
  • pinot768
    pinot768 Posts: 295
    mcunny wrote:
    so it's about a week since my last post and i can easily forget that "this too shall pass". I can get caught up in my own shit when things really aren't that bad at all...
    I can easily forget that as well. Have been going to meetings since June of 2006, but actually only working a program since October of 2006. Had a relapse in August of 2007 on my 10-month sobriety date. Now have a little over 14 months, and still struggle with life on life's terms sometimes. I just have to keep that constant contact with my higher power and the people in the rooms. And I have to remember that I'm human, which means I'm imperfect and will make mistakes. It's how I deal with them that matters...I never got that before. I always thought that making a mistake made me a failure, which made me worthless, which made me say screw it...and then the whole downward spiral began. I have to cut myself some slack sometimes, as long as I am trying to do the next right thing with the right motives and my head on straight.
    "I was born, and I know that I'll die...the in-between is mine."
  • mcunny-mccready
    mcunny-mccready Posts: 20
    I still struggle with thinking mistakes make me a failure. I can work and accomplish as much as possible in a day and still think I should have done more. My wife will be like "give yourself a break" but I find it hard to sometimes. I will beat myself up for the smallest mistake like I just caused a major catastrophe when all I really did was burn toast or something.
  • pinot768
    pinot768 Posts: 295
    mcunny wrote:
    I still struggle with thinking mistakes make me a failure. I can work and accomplish as much as possible in a day and still think I should have done more. My wife will be like "give yourself a break" but I find it hard to sometimes. I will beat myself up for the smallest mistake like I just caused a major catastrophe when all I really did was burn toast or something.
    The hardest person to take it easy on is yourself, but sometimes you just have to.
    "I was born, and I know that I'll die...the in-between is mine."
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,306
    Boy , nothing like a meeting to recenter yourself.

    I have been given an opportunity to go out of town to help set a new store my company is opening.

    First, my regional manager requested me by name.That was a compliment in itself.I have been in Kansas City for the past week.New experience for me professionally.Very worthwhile.Learning some things as I go that I can take back home to our store.

    Second, I have not ,until tonight, been able to go to a meeting of my fellows.I had contacted the KC central office and requested a ride to a meeting today, on short notice.Through the efforts of 3 members here ,I was able to attend two , back to back at the same place.With a dinner in between!Really grateful for the fellowship here.

    As always, topics fit what was going on.Funny how that happens!
    I have been given a better appreciation for the strength of AA and those in it.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,306
    bump for first post edit
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • pinot768
    pinot768 Posts: 295
    Just a post to say it has been an awesome, sober Thanksgiving! Being in recovery has made this time of year more meaningful, as I truly appreciate the things in my life - good, bad, and in-between.
    "I was born, and I know that I'll die...the in-between is mine."
  • unifiedscene
    unifiedscene Posts: 462
    I've been to about 4 meetings since May. I don't recommend it to people. I prefer to spend my time resenting my ex and plotting revenge of some sort or other. I had 3 years at the end of August, but my chances of making it to 4 seem slim at this point. And I don't really care.
    she was underwhelmed, if that's a word
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,306
    unifiedscene wrote:
    I've been to about 4 meetings since May. I don't recommend it to people. I prefer to spend my time resenting my ex and plotting revenge of some sort or other. I had 3 years at the end of August, but my chances of making it to 4 seem slim at this point. And I don't really care.
    can you make it through today?
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14

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