Just hang in there...i am pretty new to this 4 months sober.....Itsthe people in aa and my family an god that have helped me so much.
Thanks a lot and congratulations yourself, keep up the good work!
You are right, other people make a big difference. There is such a great support network out there. It's quiet and inobtrusive when you are not open to it but once you start with this program there are people from so many places who provide a little strength.
Congratulations and best of luck to all my fellow PJ fans who are working one day at a time to remain sober. Alcohol and opiates were the double barrels I faced . Recovering for six years and 176 days... one precious day at a time .
"Buy the ticket,take the ride"
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
"If I wanted you to understand, I would have explained it better"
Johan Cruijff
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
i hope it doesn't have to get as bad as when you first came in.[/quote]Based on my experience with people who decided to drink, it is almost always worse. I am prideful and would not want to return to the rooms if I drank. Also, once I ignite the flame, there is no telling how I will end up. It taked alot of wreckage for me to get honest when I'm drinking.
One day at a time. All we have is today. It doesn't matter if you have 1 day or 30 years.
i hope it doesn't have to get as bad as when you first came in.
Based on my experience with people who decided to drink, it is almost always worse. I am prideful and would not want to return to the rooms if I drank. Also, once I ignite the flame, there is no telling how I will end up. It taked alot of wreckage for me to get honest when I'm drinking.
One day at a time. All we have is today. It doesn't matter if you have 1 day or 30 years.[/quote]
Oh I know. Not from personal experience Thank HP! But I've seen it enough to know I don't want to test it!
Know for a fact i got a rueumption of use in me, don't know if I have another recovery. So I'm staying put.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
So, a couple of months now since 09/09/09, time flies when you are having fun.
I spoke to my in-laws about the program last night, which I've been dreading as we have a history of not seeing eye to eye, and they were incredibly supportive. It seems that when you are comfortable with your own recovery other people are invariably comfortable with it too.
Still enjoying 'Amongst The Waves' from the new album.
So, a couple of months now since 09/09/09, time flies when you are having fun.
I spoke to my in-laws about the program last night, which I've been dreading as we have a history of not seeing eye to eye, and they were incredibly supportive. It seems that when you are comfortable with your own recovery other people are invariably comfortable with it too.
Still enjoying 'Amongst The Waves' from the new album.
What happened to me was that they all put me on a pedastal so high that when I relapsed you'd of thought WWIII started. I've been back out on a relapse about 10 years, yet those 11 years clean won't go away. I still get shit from my kids and they have no idea just what I use and how much. They both use and justify it somehow. They are both addicts!
They piss me off. Theye expect way too much out of me. I am an addict, duh!
What happened to me was that they all put me on a pedastal so high that when I relapsed you'd of thought WWIII started. I've been back out on a relapse about 10 years, yet those 11 years clean won't go away. I still get shit from my kids and they have no idea just what I use and how much. They both use and justify it somehow. They are both addicts!
They piss me off. Theye expect way too much out of me. I am an addict, duh![/quote]
Do you consider 10 years to be a relapse? It sounds much deeper than that. I destroyed myself and hurt every kind and patient person who supported me in less than 10 years while I was using. I am getting the idea that you are sending the wrong message here. Do you want help? I am serious about my recovery and those who want to be sober and content. This shoud be a place where we talk about the solution and share our own experiences with how we became sober. I hope that you get clean. I sincerely do.
So, a couple of months now since 09/09/09, time flies when you are having fun.
I spoke to my in-laws about the program last night, which I've been dreading as we have a history of not seeing eye to eye, and they were incredibly supportive. It seems that when you are comfortable with your own recovery other people are invariably comfortable with it too.
Still enjoying 'Amongst The Waves' from the new album.
What happened to me was that they all put me on a pedastal so high that when I relapsed you'd of thought WWIII started. I've been back out on a relapse about 10 years, yet those 11 years clean won't go away. I still get shit from my kids and they have no idea just what I use and how much. They both use and justify it somehow. They are both addicts!
They piss me off. Theye expect way too much out of me. I am an addict, duh!
i dont know if you can still call it a relapse after 10 years at that point, maybe the sobriety was the relapse, hehe. but i agree with most of the rest. i got very tired of how everyone around me seemed to think it was a bigger deal than i did, like all was gravy in the world since i didn't drink when i felt meaner and less happy for it... they're definitely right about there being a difference between being dry and being sober and i was always more dry than sober. so to those still working the program, watch out for that.
So, a couple of months now since 09/09/09, time flies when you are having fun.
I spoke to my in-laws about the program last night, which I've been dreading as we have a history of not seeing eye to eye, and they were incredibly supportive. It seems that when you are comfortable with your own recovery other people are invariably comfortable with it too.
Still enjoying 'Amongst The Waves' from the new album.
What happened to me was that they all put me on a pedastal so high that when I relapsed you'd of thought WWIII started. I've been back out on a relapse about 10 years, yet those 11 years clean won't go away. I still get shit from my kids and they have no idea just what I use and how much. They both use and justify it somehow. They are both addicts!
They piss me off. Theye expect way too much out of me. I am an addict, duh!
i dont know if you can still call it a relapse after 10 years at that point, maybe the sobriety was the relapse, hehe. but i agree with most of the rest. i got very tired of how everyone around me seemed to think it was a bigger deal than i did, like all was gravy in the world since i didn't drink when i felt meaner and less happy for it... they're definitely right about there being a difference between being dry and being sober and i was always more dry than sober. so to those still working the program, watch out for that.
I call it a relapse. The program was everything I had in every part of my life. To this day, every one I know and associtae with is from meetings. Some are still cean, some are not. Also, all the stuff you learn at meetings stay with you forever. The only part missing is that I am using. I do act and behave using the steps in all parts of my life except that one. I had a seven year period of sobriey, and the 11 year period. I think that I have been clean more of my adult years than using. I also had 2 years in Al-Anon.
I am very programmed!
Trust me, I know the program inside and out. I was the Helpline Chair for my county, I did hospital and institutions, I got a social work degree while in the prorgam and worked in a substance abuse center for a few years, then worked with youth in crisis. I hold a state certification for substance abuse counseling. I spent a whole lot of years completely enveloped in sobriety, not just for myself, but in my job also.
All i have to do now is get clean. The reason I relapsed had a lot to do with serious medical issues. I spent 7 week long visits in hospital from July to November in one year. Thye put me on Diladid each time. They were giving me 1 mg every 2 hours for all those weeks. Yeah, Then I had nothing to help me. I am now on drug called Suboxone. It works great. Read about it, you'd be surprised as to how great it just is. Nothing like Methadone.
I call it a relapse. The program was everything I had in every part of my life. To this day, every one I know and associtae with is from meetings. Some are still cean, some are not. Also, all the stuff you learn at meetings stay with you forever. The only part missing is that I am using. I do act and behave using the steps in all parts of my life except that one. I had a seven year period of sobriey, and the 11 year period. I think that I have been clean more of my adult years than using. I also had 2 years in Al-Anon.
I am very programmed!
Trust me, I know the program inside and out. I was the Helpline Chair for my county, I did hospital and institutions, I got a social work degree while in the prorgam and worked in a substance abuse center for a few years, then worked with youth in crisis. I hold a state certification for substance abuse counseling. I spent a whole lot of years completely enveloped in sobriety, not just for myself, but in my job also.
All i have to do now is get clean. The reason I relapsed had a lot to do with serious medical issues. I spent 7 week long visits in hospital from July to November in one year. Thye put me on Diladid each time. They were giving me 1 mg every 2 hours for all those weeks. Yeah, Then I had nothing to help me. I am now on drug called Suboxone. It works great. Read about it, you'd be surprised as to how great it just is. Nothing like Methadone.
Just givin you a hard time. More power to you though... I've cut all ties with the program and have no desire to go back just now, for whatever reason. Probably not wise, but so it goes. I was also never a narcotics guy, so I don't think I'd gain anything from reading up on the meds, but I'm happy they're helping you and wish you the best as you try to get clean. In the meantime, y'all can watch me go nuts and use it as a reminder of why you quit to begin with.
I tend to be more of a rebel AA'er..
a buddy of mine in AA once said to me..
"I've met alot of long timers and I've concluded that I don't want SOME PEOPLE's sobriety"!
I agree 100%...
AA is a loosely run organization that saved my life..
but because it is so loosely run, we can meet alot of A** holes who think they are the CEO's of AA...
But don't let some jerks in the program run you out of the program..
It worked once when nothing else did.. right?
Both of you put together some serious time being sober.
If you look back on that time and would rather "do life" using...then your decision is easy?
If not, jump back into a new group.. frankly most of us are too self-centered to spend time taking your inventory...
and the ones that do have no business in it anyways..
Its progress not perfection..
Just my two cents..
"This here's a REQUEST!"
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
I tend to be more of a rebel AA'er..
a buddy of mine in AA once said to me..
"I've met alot of long timers and I've concluded that I don't want SOME PEOPLE's sobriety"!
I agree 100%...
AA is a loosely run organization that saved my life..
but because it is so loosely run, we can meet alot of A** holes who think they are the CEO's of AA...
But don't let some jerks in the program run you out of the program..
It worked once when nothing else did.. right?
Both of you put together some serious time being sober.
If you look back on that time and would rather "do life" using...then your decision is easy?
If not, jump back into a new group.. frankly most of us are too self-centered to spend time taking your inventory...
oh i'd have no qualms going back if needed. i'm not a proud guy. i was just wound so tight i figured what was the point if i was no happier than when i was using? guess the honeymoon ended for me here's hoping the rest of y'all find what i couldn't in the rooms!
I call it a relapse. The program was everything I had in every part of my life. To this day, every one I know and associtae with is from meetings. Some are still cean, some are not. Also, all the stuff you learn at meetings stay with you forever. The only part missing is that I am using. I do act and behave using the steps in all parts of my life except that one. I had a seven year period of sobriey, and the 11 year period. I think that I have been clean more of my adult years than using. I also had 2 years in Al-Anon.
I am very programmed!
Trust me, I know the program inside and out. I was the Helpline Chair for my county, I did hospital and institutions, I got a social work degree while in the prorgam and worked in a substance abuse center for a few years, then worked with youth in crisis. I hold a state certification for substance abuse counseling. I spent a whole lot of years completely enveloped in sobriety, not just for myself, but in my job also.
All i have to do now is get clean. The reason I relapsed had a lot to do with serious medical issues. I spent 7 week long visits in hospital from July to November in one year. Thye put me on Diladid each time. They were giving me 1 mg every 2 hours for all those weeks. Yeah, Then I had nothing to help me. I am now on drug called Suboxone. It works great. Read about it, you'd be surprised as to how great it just is. Nothing like Methadone.
Just givin you a hard time. More power to you though... I've cut all ties with the program and have no desire to go back just now, for whatever reason. Probably not wise, but so it goes. I was also never a narcotics guy, so I don't think I'd gain anything from reading up on the meds, but I'm happy they're helping you and wish you the best as you try to get clean. In the meantime, y'all can watch me go nuts and use it as a reminder of why you quit to begin with.
The medication I mentioned "Suboxone" is for opiate users. It works great. It stops all withdrawals, which are horrrible, but it also just makes me feel better in general. It is also suppose to help with cravings. The problem is I still end up using my drug of choice every pay day. Money is a huge trigger and I don't tell the people close to me that cuz I want to keep using and they'd take charge of my money thinking, "I'm helping her". I would still be able to get money if I want to use bad enough...duh!
We'll see, at least I am talking about it.
What happened to me was that they all put me on a pedastal so high that when I relapsed you'd of thought WWIII started. I've been back out on a relapse about 10 years, yet those 11 years clean won't go away. I still get shit from my kids and they have no idea just what I use and how much. They both use and justify it somehow. They are both addicts!
They piss me off. Theye expect way too much out of me. I am an addict, duh!
This isn't an N.A. or A.A. forum, so not a place to get clean. They have forums like that, by the way.
The title read PJ fans in 12 step recovery. I spent most of my adult life in recovery. I feel my story has room here. If someone can relapse after 11 years, it clearly shows that complacency is nothing to mess around with. Also, I have lots, too many to count, of people I know from the program who all relapsed around their 8 to 9 year mark! That is something everyone in recovery should be aware of. It does happen and too many people, with a lot of clean time, get some kind of thought in their head that they are far removed from using again, they are not, and I know mnay people who have proven that.
I am being honest. I know too many who went back out after 8 years or so. These people worked a good solid program too. They attended meetings often, did service work, did all the things they were suppose to and some. They were pillars of recovery, people most would want as a sponsor, yet they all went back out.
When talking about recovery, you can't bury your head in the sand and act like relapses don't happen, they do and are part of the program. Isn't there a chapter in the N. A. book titled "Relapse and Recovery"? There is cuz its part of the program. I welcome you wishing me hope I get clean, but in return I am wishing you keep that part in your recovery and realize a relapse is a split second away. It is needed to be talked about.
Just you saying this isn't the place to talk about that is one of the reasons I am still staying away from meetings. Meetings are for addicts! You don't have to be clean to attend, and you surely better know the reasons you do attend, its cuz of the possibility of relapse, otherwise you must be cured, eh?
I tend to be more of a rebel AA'er..
a buddy of mine in AA once said to me..
"I've met alot of long timers and I've concluded that I don't want SOME PEOPLE's sobriety"!
I agree 100%...
AA is a loosely run organization that saved my life..
but because it is so loosely run, we can meet alot of A** holes who think they are the CEO's of AA...
But don't let some jerks in the program run you out of the program..
It worked once when nothing else did.. right?
Both of you put together some serious time being sober.
If you look back on that time and would rather "do life" using...then your decision is easy?
If not, jump back into a new group.. frankly most of us are too self-centered to spend time taking your inventory...
oh i'd have no qualms going back if needed. i'm not a proud guy. i was just wound so tight i figured what was the point if i was no happier than when i was using? guess the honeymoon ended for me here's hoping the rest of y'all find what i couldn't in the rooms!
I remember when you first joined the program. I thought you'd make it, and I guess you did. I wish they had meetings for people like us. It seems once you relapse, you are put in some other catagory. Frick, we are addicts. Relapse is a huge part of the disease. The hoighty toighty's act like after a relapse, we are some kind of second class people in the program, or its almost like we are visitors in THEIR neetings. Them tables are mine too, but I hate that additude. Once again, I know many like us and have been talking about doing step studies in our homes, where we can do are own thing without being looked down on by these prima donna addicts. I don't know how they got such a big head that they think relapse is so far away from them. I only hope God is with them when it happens. It will be a shock for a minute, well until their next high.
I tend to be more of a rebel AA'er..
a buddy of mine in AA once said to me..
"I've met alot of long timers and I've concluded that I don't want SOME PEOPLE's sobriety"!
I agree 100%...
AA is a loosely run organization that saved my life..
but because it is so loosely run, we can meet alot of A** holes who think they are the CEO's of AA...
But don't let some jerks in the program run you out of the program..
It worked once when nothing else did.. right?
Both of you put together some serious time being sober.
If you look back on that time and would rather "do life" using...then your decision is easy?
If not, jump back into a new group.. frankly most of us are too self-centered to spend time taking your inventory...
oh i'd have no qualms going back if needed. i'm not a proud guy. i was just wound so tight i figured what was the point if i was no happier than when i was using? guess the honeymoon ended for me here's hoping the rest of y'all find what i couldn't in the rooms!
I remember when you first joined the program. I thought you'd make it, and I guess you did. I wish they had meetings for people like us. It seems once you relapse, you are put in some other catagory. Frick, we are addicts. Relapse is a huge part of the disease. The hoighty toighty's act like after a relapse, we are some kind of second class people in the program, or its almost like we are visitors in THEIR neetings. Them tables are mine too, but I hate that additude. Once again, I know many like us and have been talking about doing step studies in our homes, where we can do are own thing without being looked down on by these prima donna addicts. I don't know how they got such a big head that they think relapse is so far away from them. I only hope God is with them when it happens. It will be a shock for a minute, well until their next high. I wish you lived near us, You would love that type of meeting.
I wish they had meetings for people like us. It seems once you relapse, you are put in some other catagory. Frick, we are addicts. Relapse is a huge part of the disease. The hoighty toighty's act like after a relapse, we are some kind of second class people in the program, or its almost like we are visitors in THEIR neetings. Them tables are mine too, but I hate that additude. Once again, I know many like us and have been talking about doing step studies in our homes, where we can do are own thing without being looked down on by these prima donna addicts. I don't know how they got such a big head that they think relapse is so far away from them. I only hope God is with them when it happens. It will be a shock for a minute, well until their next high.
Pehaps you feel like a visitor in THEIR meetings because that is your perception of the situation, not theirs.
I remember when you first joined the program. I thought you'd make it, and I guess you did. I wish they had meetings for people like us. It seems once you relapse, you are put in some other catagory. Frick, we are addicts. Relapse is a huge part of the disease. The hoighty toighty's act like after a relapse, we are some kind of second class people in the program, or its almost like we are visitors in THEIR neetings. Them tables are mine too, but I hate that additude. Once again, I know many like us and have been talking about doing step studies in our homes, where we can do are own thing without being looked down on by these prima donna addicts. I don't know how they got such a big head that they think relapse is so far away from them. I only hope God is with them when it happens. It will be a shock for a minute, well until their next high.
sounds like the scene in your area is different from what i've seen. sure, there were prima donnas, but i never noticed any attitude towards those who relapsed and came back in the meetings i went to in chicago. they welcomed them back with open arms, just happy to find them back safe and alive. even the revolving door people were greeted with little more than a rueful grin and a lot of support and understanding. they looked at it solely as a reminder of how close they themselves could be at any time. i'm sorry the folks in your area seem to be such douches
What happened to me was that they all put me on a pedastal so high that when I relapsed you'd of thought WWIII started. I've been back out on a relapse about 10 years, yet those 11 years clean won't go away. I still get shit from my kids and they have no idea just what I use and how much. They both use and justify it somehow. They are both addicts!
They piss me off. Theye expect way too much out of me. I am an addict, duh!
This isn't an N.A. or A.A. forum, so not a place to get clean. They have forums like that, by the way.
The title read PJ fans in 12 step recovery. I spent most of my adult life in recovery. I feel my story has room here. If someone can relapse after 11 years, it clearly shows that complacency is nothing to mess around with. Also, I have lots, too many to count, of people I know from the program who all relapsed around their 8 to 9 year mark! That is something everyone in recovery should be aware of. It does happen and too many people, with a lot of clean time, get some kind of thought in their head that they are far removed from using again, they are not, and I know mnay people who have proven that.
I am being honest. I know too many who went back out after 8 years or so. These people worked a good solid program too. They attended meetings often, did service work, did all the things they were suppose to and some. They were pillars of recovery, people most would want as a sponsor, yet they all went back out.
When talking about recovery, you can't bury your head in the sand and act like relapses don't happen, they do and are part of the program. Isn't there a chapter in the N. A. book titled "Relapse and Recovery"? There is cuz its part of the program. I welcome you wishing me hope I get clean, but in return I am wishing you keep that part in your recovery and realize a relapse is a split second away. It is needed to be talked about.
Just you saying this isn't the place to talk about that is one of the reasons I am still staying away from meetings. Meetings are for addicts! You don't have to be clean to attend, and you surely better know the reasons you do attend, its cuz of the possibility of relapse, otherwise you must be cured, eh?
Read the 12 steps of AA again and then read your posts. If you were so involved with AA or NA, you would know that you can't possibly use or drink and work a 12 step program if you are trully and addict/alcoholic. I know that it is a 24 hour program and I am 1 sip away from insanity. Are you telling me that you have figured out a way to use successfully? You must have because you work the 12 steps in every other part of your life. That is bullshit. You are not fulling anybody. Either you forgot what the big book or NA book says or you are in serious denial. Either way, you are really not going to help anybody who wants to stop drinking, especially a newcomer. Save your old AA stories of how much service work you did. You are using and that is the bottom line. I know I don't want to use and I know I have an allergy. I also know there are others here reading this who are just like me. Possibly even you. Your posts are poison to them.
I am in AA and we have tons of people who come to AA instead of NA becuase they feel the NA meetings have too little sobriety and LOTS of opportunity for use...
This is only what I have heard from NA'ers..
I have lots of friends in my AA group who are recovering addicts..
There is no "second class citizen" status for anyone in our groups.. relapse or not..
Now.. A true story.. I just went to my weekly meeting tonight and picked up a buddy on the way..
I find him drunk on red wine but took him to the meeting anyway..
where he promptly announced to the beginnners that he had drank today and he was struggling...
The rest of the meeting became stories of other people's relalspses.. how they dealt with it welll ... or poorly... and how much guts my buddy had for ratting himself out..
If you have a meeting that doesn't welcome anyone "new or coming back" they have missed a central tradition of AA...
Find a new meeting..
They are wrong...
you coming back after drinking, using.. or always welcome...
It takes practice to stay sober..
Its progress not perfection folks..
"This here's a REQUEST!"
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
The one thing I've noticed about AA is that if the program is working everyone wants to stay sober and wants everyone else to stay sober, too. That is the core of the whole thing, isn't it? Relapse or no relapse, we're not counting the days behind us but counting the 24 hours ahead. I respect the guy who comes to his first meeting just as much as the guy who has been there for 20 years, they are both focusing on the days ahead with equal intent.
As a newcomer, I agree that it is hard to hear about people relapsing and it does shake my confidence a little. But on the other hand, it is a warning sign that I can't ignore, so I do appreciate people who have decided to go back to using sharing that experience with us.
'United we stand and divided we fall', it's an old adage but a good one that I found in the Big Book.
I know you all have Thanksgiving coming up, so I wish you all happy, sober holidays and hope that you all stay safe.
I was married to an alcoholic for 12 years. He went to AA and I went to Al-Anon. I am very thankful for Al-Anon, it got me thru a terribly tough time in my life. We are now divorced and have been for the last 8 years.
I find myself hating him more and more even now. Soon after our divorce he went to prison for 5 years for numerous DUI's and hit and runs. While he was in Prison he wrote to our 2 children often but was never able to help support our children financially. I have always taken care of our kids. He got out of prison almost 3 years ago and has been in and out of rehab (court ordered because he is on parole). He contributed financially to our kids for about 9 months when he first got out of prison but since then he has been unable to stay sober (vodka is his poison) and unable to keep any sort of job... and like I said, his parole officer has put him into about four different 90 day rehabs......that are obviously not working. I'm here because, well..........i need to get to a meeting I suppose. I'm so mad at him. I'm so mad at the whole situation. I lost my job in June and I'm trying to live on unemployment and support these 2 children of ours. I can't get ANY help from the state. I've been denied any sort of resources I've applied for yet the state can pay for him to live at these rehabs over and over that have been unsuccessful?? wtf?? I know, I know.........I really should find my way into an Al-Anon meeting........
The best use of Life is Love.
The best expression of Love is Time.
The best time to Love is Now.
The one thing I've noticed about AA is that if the program is working everyone wants to stay sober and wants everyone else to stay sober, too. That is the core of the whole thing, isn't it? Relapse or no relapse, we're not counting the days behind us but counting the 24 hours ahead. I respect the guy who comes to his first meeting just as much as the guy who has been there for 20 years, they are both focusing on the days ahead with equal intent.
As a newcomer, I agree that it is hard to hear about people relapsing and it does shake my confidence a little. But on the other hand, it is a warning sign that I can't ignore, so I do appreciate people who have decided to go back to using sharing that experience with us.
'United we stand and divided we fall', it's an old adage but a good one that I found in the Big Book.
I know you all have Thanksgiving coming up, so I wish you all happy, sober holidays and hope that you all stay safe.
Right on. But don't forget the "Twelve Steps." That is what I have to be working on to stay sober. The rooms are the fellowship. There are active and recovering alcoholics in their. Some are lieing and others are telling the truth about their experience. Even if it is true for them, it has to jive with the Big Book. If they can back up what they are sharing in the Big Book, it is useful. If not, it is unhealthy for the newcomer. I am so glad that you are taking this seriously. 24 hours at a time I stay free!
Comments
Thanks a lot and congratulations yourself, keep up the good work!
You are right, other people make a big difference. There is such a great support network out there. It's quiet and inobtrusive when you are not open to it but once you start with this program there are people from so many places who provide a little strength.
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
"If I wanted you to understand, I would have explained it better"
Johan Cruijff
yeah, i had 4 up until 2 months ago.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
One day at a time. All we have is today. It doesn't matter if you have 1 day or 30 years.
One day at a time. All we have is today. It doesn't matter if you have 1 day or 30 years.[/quote]
Oh I know. Not from personal experience Thank HP! But I've seen it enough to know I don't want to test it!
Know for a fact i got a rueumption of use in me, don't know if I have another recovery. So I'm staying put.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I spoke to my in-laws about the program last night, which I've been dreading as we have a history of not seeing eye to eye, and they were incredibly supportive. It seems that when you are comfortable with your own recovery other people are invariably comfortable with it too.
Still enjoying 'Amongst The Waves' from the new album.
They piss me off. Theye expect way too much out of me. I am an addict, duh!
They piss me off. Theye expect way too much out of me. I am an addict, duh![/quote]
Do you consider 10 years to be a relapse? It sounds much deeper than that. I destroyed myself and hurt every kind and patient person who supported me in less than 10 years while I was using. I am getting the idea that you are sending the wrong message here. Do you want help? I am serious about my recovery and those who want to be sober and content. This shoud be a place where we talk about the solution and share our own experiences with how we became sober. I hope that you get clean. I sincerely do.
i dont know if you can still call it a relapse after 10 years
I am very programmed!
Trust me, I know the program inside and out. I was the Helpline Chair for my county, I did hospital and institutions, I got a social work degree while in the prorgam and worked in a substance abuse center for a few years, then worked with youth in crisis. I hold a state certification for substance abuse counseling. I spent a whole lot of years completely enveloped in sobriety, not just for myself, but in my job also.
All i have to do now is get clean. The reason I relapsed had a lot to do with serious medical issues. I spent 7 week long visits in hospital from July to November in one year. Thye put me on Diladid each time. They were giving me 1 mg every 2 hours for all those weeks. Yeah, Then I had nothing to help me. I am now on drug called Suboxone. It works great. Read about it, you'd be surprised as to how great it just is. Nothing like Methadone.
Just givin you a hard time. More power to you though... I've cut all ties with the program and have no desire to go back just now, for whatever reason. Probably not wise, but so it goes. I was also never a narcotics guy, so I don't think I'd gain anything from reading up on the meds, but I'm happy they're helping you and wish you the best as you try to get clean. In the meantime, y'all can watch me go nuts and use it as a reminder of why you quit to begin with.
a buddy of mine in AA once said to me..
"I've met alot of long timers and I've concluded that I don't want SOME PEOPLE's sobriety"!
I agree 100%...
AA is a loosely run organization that saved my life..
but because it is so loosely run, we can meet alot of A** holes who think they are the CEO's of AA...
But don't let some jerks in the program run you out of the program..
It worked once when nothing else did.. right?
Both of you put together some serious time being sober.
If you look back on that time and would rather "do life" using...then your decision is easy?
If not, jump back into a new group.. frankly most of us are too self-centered to spend time taking your inventory...
and the ones that do have no business in it anyways..
Its progress not perfection..
Just my two cents..
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
oh i'd have no qualms going back if needed. i'm not a proud guy. i was just wound so tight i figured what was the point if i was no happier than when i was using? guess the honeymoon ended for me
http://onecraftymother.blogspot.com/200 ... horse.html
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
We'll see, at least I am talking about it.
This isn't an N.A. or A.A. forum, so not a place to get clean. They have forums like that, by the way.
The title read PJ fans in 12 step recovery. I spent most of my adult life in recovery. I feel my story has room here. If someone can relapse after 11 years, it clearly shows that complacency is nothing to mess around with. Also, I have lots, too many to count, of people I know from the program who all relapsed around their 8 to 9 year mark! That is something everyone in recovery should be aware of. It does happen and too many people, with a lot of clean time, get some kind of thought in their head that they are far removed from using again, they are not, and I know mnay people who have proven that.
I am being honest. I know too many who went back out after 8 years or so. These people worked a good solid program too. They attended meetings often, did service work, did all the things they were suppose to and some. They were pillars of recovery, people most would want as a sponsor, yet they all went back out.
When talking about recovery, you can't bury your head in the sand and act like relapses don't happen, they do and are part of the program. Isn't there a chapter in the N. A. book titled "Relapse and Recovery"? There is cuz its part of the program. I welcome you wishing me hope I get clean, but in return I am wishing you keep that part in your recovery and realize a relapse is a split second away. It is needed to be talked about.
Just you saying this isn't the place to talk about that is one of the reasons I am still staying away from meetings. Meetings are for addicts! You don't have to be clean to attend, and you surely better know the reasons you do attend, its cuz of the possibility of relapse, otherwise you must be cured, eh?
Pehaps you feel like a visitor in THEIR meetings because that is your perception of the situation, not theirs.
best of luck. T
sounds like the scene in your area is different from what i've seen. sure, there were prima donnas, but i never noticed any attitude towards those who relapsed and came back in the meetings i went to in chicago. they welcomed them back with open arms, just happy to find them back safe and alive. even the revolving door people were greeted with little more than a rueful grin and a lot of support and understanding. they looked at it solely as a reminder of how close they themselves could be at any time. i'm sorry the folks in your area seem to be such douches
bump to top of page if anyone missed it!
good insight into struggles of recovery...
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Read the 12 steps of AA again and then read your posts. If you were so involved with AA or NA, you would know that you can't possibly use or drink and work a 12 step program if you are trully and addict/alcoholic. I know that it is a 24 hour program and I am 1 sip away from insanity. Are you telling me that you have figured out a way to use successfully? You must have because you work the 12 steps in every other part of your life. That is bullshit. You are not fulling anybody. Either you forgot what the big book or NA book says or you are in serious denial. Either way, you are really not going to help anybody who wants to stop drinking, especially a newcomer. Save your old AA stories of how much service work you did. You are using and that is the bottom line. I know I don't want to use and I know I have an allergy. I also know there are others here reading this who are just like me. Possibly even you. Your posts are poison to them.
I am in AA and we have tons of people who come to AA instead of NA becuase they feel the NA meetings have too little sobriety and LOTS of opportunity for use...
This is only what I have heard from NA'ers..
I have lots of friends in my AA group who are recovering addicts..
There is no "second class citizen" status for anyone in our groups.. relapse or not..
Now.. A true story.. I just went to my weekly meeting tonight and picked up a buddy on the way..
I find him drunk on red wine but took him to the meeting anyway..
where he promptly announced to the beginnners that he had drank today and he was struggling...
The rest of the meeting became stories of other people's relalspses.. how they dealt with it welll ... or poorly... and how much guts my buddy had for ratting himself out..
If you have a meeting that doesn't welcome anyone "new or coming back" they have missed a central tradition of AA...
Find a new meeting..
They are wrong...
you coming back after drinking, using.. or always welcome...
It takes practice to stay sober..
Its progress not perfection folks..
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
As a newcomer, I agree that it is hard to hear about people relapsing and it does shake my confidence a little. But on the other hand, it is a warning sign that I can't ignore, so I do appreciate people who have decided to go back to using sharing that experience with us.
'United we stand and divided we fall', it's an old adage but a good one that I found in the Big Book.
I know you all have Thanksgiving coming up, so I wish you all happy, sober holidays and hope that you all stay safe.
I find myself hating him more and more even now. Soon after our divorce he went to prison for 5 years for numerous DUI's and hit and runs. While he was in Prison he wrote to our 2 children often but was never able to help support our children financially. I have always taken care of our kids. He got out of prison almost 3 years ago and has been in and out of rehab (court ordered because he is on parole). He contributed financially to our kids for about 9 months when he first got out of prison but since then he has been unable to stay sober (vodka is his poison) and unable to keep any sort of job... and like I said, his parole officer has put him into about four different 90 day rehabs......that are obviously not working. I'm here because, well..........i need to get to a meeting I suppose. I'm so mad at him. I'm so mad at the whole situation. I lost my job in June and I'm trying to live on unemployment and support these 2 children of ours. I can't get ANY help from the state. I've been denied any sort of resources I've applied for yet the state can pay for him to live at these rehabs over and over that have been unsuccessful?? wtf?? I know, I know.........I really should find my way into an Al-Anon meeting........
The best expression of Love is Time.
The best time to Love is Now.
I'm never as good as when you're there.........
Right on. But don't forget the "Twelve Steps." That is what I have to be working on to stay sober. The rooms are the fellowship. There are active and recovering alcoholics in their. Some are lieing and others are telling the truth about their experience. Even if it is true for them, it has to jive with the Big Book. If they can back up what they are sharing in the Big Book, it is useful. If not, it is unhealthy for the newcomer. I am so glad that you are taking this seriously. 24 hours at a time I stay free!