A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

HughFreakingDillon · February 2020

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Please understand people

you have to understand.....over dozens of pages, the main point is that you have a tendency to stay where you are comfortable so you have to take little to no risk (not judging, just observation, I'm like that too). while I understand how it is to be too busy, and an ailing parent, there will literally ALWAYS be a bad time to make a big change. Always. LIFE is never a perfect time to take a risk or make a change. so you just have to do it.

and it doesn't even sound like your dad is in bad shape.

if your dad was alone, I could see it. but he has your mom. if he needs to go to the hospital, could they not ring you up? or call a cab? or a friend? or an ambulance if it's an emergency? if he honestly needs care, how is that going to fit into your "too busy to do anything else" schedule?

you have to see that these are just more excuses not to take that step.

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

My dad cannot urinate. He has a catheter to drain urine into. He can't leave the house for over a month as he will have the catheter. He needs scans to rule out prostate cancer 100%.

I never said I won't move out. I'll try in a few weeks but I just don't know if I can move in with this lady and her daughter. My gut feeling says it's a bad idea.

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

They have noone.

My mum refuses to take a taxi.

My sister is useless. Did not even visit my dad in hospital. I can drive but this lady's house is 25 minutes drive away.

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

I'm being pressured by everyone to move into this house I'm getting bad feelings about.

Why can't people allow me to find the right place considering my agent is still organising the sale of my property and I am back at university. I'm taking the steps. Please everyone stop pressuring me to move out right now.

JPPJ84 · February 2020

M, stop hyperventilating and breathe. Ever since you listed the negatives about the mum/daughter combo you got exactly 2 reactions on here. I may have misread but I‘m pretty sure both Hugh and Hedo were supportive.

So this may not the place to move for you. Bad luck. Look elsewhere.
And maybe tell your mother to grow up and take a taxi if she needs to.

HughFreakingDillon · February 2020

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I'm being pressured by everyone to move into this house I'm getting bad feelings about.
Why can't people allow me to find the right place considering my agent is still organising the sale of my property and I am back at university. I'm taking the steps. Please everyone stop pressuring me to move out right now.

who is pressuring you to move into that particular house?

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

My best friend, people here.

I'm letting everyone down.

My best friend is going to be mad at me.

Haven't told him yet.

How do I tell the lady I won't be moving in?

deadendp · February 2020

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Please understand people

It's the ramblings of an abused human. Lived through it with my brother and mom. I know the speak well.

Ultimately, life choices are yours. You come for support, which we give, but you have to understand that our want for you is to get out of the abusive household you live in-- whatever sharehouse that be.

Look up abused spouse stories. You pretty much follow it to a T. Ever listen to the words of Rearviewmirror?

With whatever your choices, I wish you well.

HughFreakingDillon · February 2020

Thoughts_Arrive said:

My best friend, people here.
I'm letting everyone down.
My best friend is going to be mad at me.
Haven't told him yet.
How do I tell the lady I won't be moving in?

stop it with this "i'm letting everyone down" bullshit. you aren't. if you are truly doing what you honestly think is right for you, then the right people will be ok with it.

it shouldn't be difficult. just say your circumstances suddenly changed and moving out is not currently an option. you don't even owe her any explanation at all: just "sorry, no longer interested, thanks, bye".

Matts3221 · February 2020

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I'm being pressured by everyone to move into this house I'm getting bad feelings about.
Why can't people allow me to find the right place considering my agent is still organising the sale of my property and I am back at university. I'm taking the steps. Please everyone stop pressuring me to move out right now.

I don't think anyone is pressuring you , you seem to be projecting a little on all of us. I promise no one on this thread is against you at all.

If this place seems like a nightmare than don't move in there. If you look back thru your pages of threads you just tend to go back and forth a lot ( and that is ok , most of us with anxiety tend to go back and forth ) However the way you just posted seemed a little manic , I know you are running on little sleep and stressed about school.

Don't take it as insulting but as others have said , there will never be a good time in life , I don't say that to upset you or to make you think something is going to go wrong but life always throws you a curve ball.

I know they are checking due to the large prostate for a scan of cancer , however it could just be his prostate needs to be removed , that will keep him off his feet for a good 4-6 weeks but not so your mom could not take care of him.

Maybe and only if you wanted too , for an exercise go thru this tread from page one and read your comments out loud to yourself , like a journal its great to have your thoughts on paper ( or online ) so you can re-read them , it could be a little eye opening.

Be well , stay health , keep your head up , don't think others on here have a dislike or are upset with you , I promise that is just in your head.

Hope you get some sleep after all your meetings are over.

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

Her property is still being advertised for rent online so it's not like I'm holding her up. She turned two people away before me.

Even my friend said she sounds dodgy.

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

Thank you Matts. Yeah I guess I'm projecting. I want to move out so I can date.

This year I won't time to date but next year.

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

God I look like shit. Red, puffy, anxious and sad eyes. Honours supervisors are going to think that I have been crying when interviewing me

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

Barely holding it together during my supervisor appointments. Feeling very anxious on the verge of a panic attack

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

I want to tell the lady I won't be moving in but I'm scared she'll get upset.

Not sure if I should call or text and also what to and how to tell her.

Do I just stick to I can't because of my dad or say it's also her daughter and having to move out in a year and the fact that I don't feel comfortable moving in not having met her first.

mickeyrat · February 2020

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I want to tell the lady I won't be moving in but I'm scared she'll get upset.
Not sure if I should call or text and also what to and how to tell her.
Do I just stick to I can't because of my dad or say it's also her daughter and having to move out in a year and the fact that I don't feel comfortable moving in not having met her first.

be honest. thats all. you cant control how someone will take anything you say. being honest is always the best course.

the reservations you've shared here are valid.

lastexitlondon · February 2020

Love.
Remember love in all of this.
Look after your dad . Love is most important. Thats my view. People are gone in a heart beat. It cant be said enough......

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2020

I'm trying to summon the courage to text her the news that I won't be moving in.

It might get awkward when I see her at art classes and excursions.

lastexitlondon · February 2020

Life is awkward dont sweat it. Move on

mickeyrat · February 2020

" thank you for the offer. I must decline."

A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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