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  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    Feel like putting my fist through a wall
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Go for a run or something.  Listen to music. Breathe. Calm down


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    How old are these  women you think are finding  you scary.  Again mate you are fixating on what you think  they think. Move on
    21-25
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,305
    edited February 2020
    Too many unfriendly snobs in this world. Especially at university. This girl that used to talk to me is now blatantly snobing me. Like choosing to use another pedestrian crossing to avoid me. I said hi as I got to the same crossing as she was at on our way to the tram stop after our lecture and she said I've gotta go this way sorry bye. Wtf was that. Made me feel like shit. And we we're going to the same tram stop anyways as both crossings take you there. Even during orientation last week she'd not say hi to me in the elevator or in the same room. I honestly don't know wtf I have done wrong. Baffled. I feel like asking her.
    I keep telling myself who gives a shit, she's nothing in my life but I still feel hurt.
    one thing in this jumped out.

    She made you? Others have that power? Can make you feel xyz?

    took me awhile to figure it out, but I can tell you without question I chose that shit. Everytime. Others may lead me to a choice, but ultimately I chose to feel like shit. I chose to feel worthless or unworthy. Because I sought validation from others. Their opinion of me was more valuable than my own.

    That changed when I decided I didnt want that anymore. With a measure of acceptance of self, that I am a fallible, vulnerable human being, doing what I could with the tools I had(very little). With a measure of forgiveness of self for not being this lofty image I had of myself. I admitted I was an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.And I wanted something different.

    I gave myself the room to be me. warts and all. Changing where I could. Finding peace in that. 

    You can have that too.
    Post edited by mickeyrat on
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • A wonderful post right there.


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Something  is wrong with my youngest daughter.  Now  the  dr is calling paediatrics to find out what to do. To say im In a state is an understatement. I know  there  is nothing  i can do more than  alert a dr. But ffs i cant take anymore


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Something  is wrong with my youngest daughter.  Now  the  dr is calling paediatrics to find out what to do. To say im In a state is an understatement. I know  there  is nothing  i can do more than  alert a dr. But ffs i cant take anymore
    You'll be fine.  I know you will.

    The Dr will check her out and sort things.
    How've you been Rob?  Send me a message on Whatsapp.
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    mickeyrat said:
    Too many unfriendly snobs in this world. Especially at university. This girl that used to talk to me is now blatantly snobing me. Like choosing to use another pedestrian crossing to avoid me. I said hi as I got to the same crossing as she was at on our way to the tram stop after our lecture and she said I've gotta go this way sorry bye. Wtf was that. Made me feel like shit. And we we're going to the same tram stop anyways as both crossings take you there. Even during orientation last week she'd not say hi to me in the elevator or in the same room. I honestly don't know wtf I have done wrong. Baffled. I feel like asking her.
    I keep telling myself who gives a shit, she's nothing in my life but I still feel hurt.
    one thing in this jumped out.

    She made you? Others have that power? Can make you feel xyz?

    took me awhile to figure it out, but I can tell you without question I chose that shit. Everytime. Others may lead me to a choice, but ultimately I chose to feel like shit. I chose to feel worthless or unworthy. Because I sought validation from others. Their opinion of me was more valuable than my own.

    That changed when I decided I didnt want that anymore. With a measure of acceptance of self, that I am a fallible, vulnerable human being, doing what I could with the tools I had(very little). With a measure of forgiveness of self for not being this lofty image I had of myself. I admitted I was an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.And I wanted something different.

    I gave myself the room to be me. warts and all. Changing where I could. Finding peace in that. 

    You can have that too.

    Yes, that sounds like a good way of thinking but the question remains WHY did she avoid me so blatantly? WHAT is it about me that scares people away?
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    Something  is wrong with my youngest daughter.  Now  the  dr is calling paediatrics to find out what to do. To say im In a state is an understatement. I know  there  is nothing  i can do more than  alert a dr. But ffs i cant take anymore
    I hope it works out. I am sure she'll be fine with proper care.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,305
    mickeyrat said:
    Too many unfriendly snobs in this world. Especially at university. This girl that used to talk to me is now blatantly snobing me. Like choosing to use another pedestrian crossing to avoid me. I said hi as I got to the same crossing as she was at on our way to the tram stop after our lecture and she said I've gotta go this way sorry bye. Wtf was that. Made me feel like shit. And we we're going to the same tram stop anyways as both crossings take you there. Even during orientation last week she'd not say hi to me in the elevator or in the same room. I honestly don't know wtf I have done wrong. Baffled. I feel like asking her.
    I keep telling myself who gives a shit, she's nothing in my life but I still feel hurt.
    one thing in this jumped out.

    She made you? Others have that power? Can make you feel xyz?

    took me awhile to figure it out, but I can tell you without question I chose that shit. Everytime. Others may lead me to a choice, but ultimately I chose to feel like shit. I chose to feel worthless or unworthy. Because I sought validation from others. Their opinion of me was more valuable than my own.

    That changed when I decided I didnt want that anymore. With a measure of acceptance of self, that I am a fallible, vulnerable human being, doing what I could with the tools I had(very little). With a measure of forgiveness of self for not being this lofty image I had of myself. I admitted I was an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.And I wanted something different.

    I gave myself the room to be me. warts and all. Changing where I could. Finding peace in that. 

    You can have that too.

    Yes, that sounds like a good way of thinking but the question remains WHY did she avoid me so blatantly? WHAT is it about me that scares people away?
    its irrelevant why.  I learned in aa that what others think of me is none of my business.

    so you find out why. then what? you make some kind of change to appease  someone who you say really doesnt mean anything to you?

    to thine own self be true
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    I just want to know if I have done something to upset this person.
    She used to always say hi and talk to me 2 years ago. Then she strangely started not saying hello back in 2018 and looking unfriendly towards me.
    I bumped into her once last year (she graduated a year ahead of me) as we were waiting to see the same lecturer outside her office. She looked like she did not want to talk to me then as we were both waiting to be seen. After we saw the lecturer (both in her office at the same time) she left without saying bye to me.

    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    Do I stop saying hello to this person?
    It is so awkward when we end up at the same pedestrian crossing or in the same elevator.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    I have never had her facebook but blocked her today after her cold shoulder.
    Why should she see any helpful posts I make to the facebook group I am in for my Honours cohort.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,305
    Do I stop saying hello to this person?
    It is so awkward when we end up at the same pedestrian crossing or in the same elevator.
    yes. dont concern yourself with her.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    Most times she sees me she looks down at her phone.
    Some people are so shit.
    This has left me feeling shit about myself all night and had suicidal ideation return.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    Also, girls (yes there are hardly any guys in my cohort and most psychology cohorts) that I met at orientation events last week did not even bother with me this first week of semester. I bumped into three of them at a cafe next to campus as I went to buy lunch and I said hey and they just said hey and kept talking amongst themselves without bothering to talk to me even though I sat at the table next to theirs.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    I give up on people. 
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    It's past 1am and I'm ruminating over this.

    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,305
    the why question will fuck you over everytime.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    It's past 1am and I'm ruminating over this.

    Since last night. 

    Unfortunately so much said here seems tossed aside more often than not. I wish you well but don’t know what else to offer. 

    Rob, good thoughts for your girl. I hope it’s nothing serious or insurmountable.