A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,540
    HughFreakingDillon said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    HughFreakingDillon said:
    it wasn't honestly that bad. It just wasn't ideal. we were both shitty to each other, not realizing how we were both not a good fit. we were comfortable. it was a one night stand that turned into a nearly 5 year relationship, living together for 18 months of that. 

    my parents were just hyper aware (they used to run a marriage counselling group that had members all over the Canada/US) so they knew the signs of a poor relationship dynamic. I hesitated to even label it as abusive. it was more she was just kind of mean sometimes because she had poor self confidence. 

    anyway, I hope i wasn't too harsh. It's just so difficult when the solution seems so easy (in theory, not necessarily in execution) to those of us on the outside looking in.

    thoughts, your life would be a thousand times better once you get out of that house and start your own life devoid of negativity and verbal abuse. 

    what have you got to lose?
    You weren't harsh.
    I have nothing to lose other than my own property and possibly the opportunity to ever purchase a property again.
    May I add, everyone that I know that has moved out of home has done so with their girlfriend. 
    I feel if I had a girlfriend it'd be way easier to move out and into a house with her.
    you're thinking of this backwards. you move out, be on your own, discover yourself away from other influences, and THEN you get a girlfriend. 
    exactly. were it the reverse as you suggested thoughts , what are you bringing to the relationship?

    get right within yourself FOR yourself. or at least well on that path....

    your friends you cite, do they walk a similar journey with what you face?
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • HughFreakingDillon
    HughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 39,531
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    The thought of losing my best friend who I've been friends with for almost 20 years makes me depressed and panicky. I have two other friends but we're not super close and I don't feel the same connection with them as I do with my best friend. I don't know how I'd live with myself if I lose him. I'd probably take my own life.
    that is just ridiculous. suicide because of a lost friendship? ludicrous. I have had about 20 best friends come and go in my life. some I still have, some not. some come back, some don't. there have been periods in my life where I have had just a few friends. I used to be the kind of person that had 400 friends. When I finally found my true self, I realized I liked a small group much better. Were there lonely times because of that? of course, but by that time I was comfortable in my own skin and I ENJOYED being alone.

    just let it be what it is, and stop stressing about one person. If you feel this desperate for this friend, he probably feels it. and if he feels that, he won't stick around too long. I wouldn't. friendships are two way. not a dependence. 

    humans are social animals, but we are also born alone and will die alone. there is nothing wrong with being alone. I am an introvert. are you? if you are, you just need to get comfortable in your own skin and then being alone is the best gift life can give you. 
    By The Time They Figure Out What Went Wrong, We'll Be Sitting On A Beach, Earning Twenty Percent.




  • HughFreakingDillon
    HughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 39,531
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    So I've just annoyed my best friend again via Facebook messenger.
    I was just telling him how apartment/unit prices compare to where he's moved to where I am and he was asking what do I want and why am I running all this by him. I wasn't asking for help or advice, I was just talking.
    I feel like everything is fucked right now, I am failing everywhere, I am pissing everyone off, I am losing everyone.
    I'm almost in tears right now.
    did you ask him what's up with him? or just dart right in with your own life?
    By The Time They Figure Out What Went Wrong, We'll Be Sitting On A Beach, Earning Twenty Percent.




  • Matts3221
    Matts3221 Posts: 658

    Thoughts_Arrived

    I do feel for you but at the same time , I have to agree with everyone else for the most part. In no way are we coming down on you but you do have a pattern or saying you are going to do something and then there are all these reasons why you cannot do it.

    You own a home ( I know you have a mortgage on it but still you do have home ownership ) , graduated college you are further along than most humans already at this point.

    Change is very scary and those of us that suffer from anxiety it can be even harder. That said you just have to take the jump , I know it is scary but it has to happen for anything to change.

    Moving out of that house , taken control of your life a little more and having been there for so long I can see how it does work like an abusive relationship were you may eve feel you are at fault. You are not. However there is a constant going on in them , your mom.

    I know it is not easy , get out of that house though. It will be the best thing  you have ever done. Concentrate on yourself and improve yourself , love yourself for who you are and I promise good things will come along.


    All the best.

  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,540

    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,540
    I would include the freedom from what you think others think too......

    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Fifthelement
    Fifthelement Lotusland Posts: 6,965
    Good advice Mickey, especially the addendum part.

    I hope @Thoughts_Arrive, @Matts3221 and @lastexitlondon. as well as any others, are holding on.  I’m thinking of you all and sending warm thoughts your way.
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • HughFreakingDillon
    HughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 39,531
    on twitter, a buddy of mine I never would have suspected posted about bell let's talk day. he told about how he had to step away from work for a while because of mental health issues. i was floored. I mean, we aren't that close. I'm mostly friends with his wife. And I find myself to be incredibly in tune with knowing that about people, even if they don't show it outwardly. (some call this being an empath). it just goes to show that some hide it incredibly well. Always check in on your friends and loved ones.  you never know how much a "hey, how's it going?" will mean. 
    By The Time They Figure Out What Went Wrong, We'll Be Sitting On A Beach, Earning Twenty Percent.




  • Fifthelement
    Fifthelement Lotusland Posts: 6,965
    Excellent advice HFD.  We all contain multitudes.
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • what dreams
    what dreams Posts: 1,761
    The Porch is giving me anxiety. 
  • what dreams
    what dreams Posts: 1,761
    what dreams said:
    The Porch is giving me anxiety. 
    I made the fatal mistake of questioning/criticizing the 10C ticket process, and within the space of one hour, got squashed by about 10 brutal people. Thankfully I'm not easily hurt, but dang, that was rough. 
    I've been on my phone way too much since this tour was announced. Not good.
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    what dreams said:
    The Porch is giving me anxiety. 
    Ha!

    Earlier, I went down to use our buiding's gym for the first time.  I was really nervous, so much that I kept mulling it over last night.  Thing is, I don't even know what I was worried about:  not other people, not the exercises themselves.  Maybe just doing something (physical) I haven't done before, on my own.

    So I took the bull by the horns!  And left quite proud of myself, even though I have a long road ahead.

    To TA, just take the baby steps.  You may not overcome the anxiety, but you'll work through it - and it will become easier over time.
  • deadendp
    deadendp Northeast Ohio Posts: 10,434
    hedonist said:
    what dreams said:
    The Porch is giving me anxiety. 
    Ha!

    Earlier, I went down to use our buiding's gym for the first time.  I was really nervous, so much that I kept mulling it over last night.  Thing is, I don't even know what I was worried about:  not other people, not the exercises themselves.  Maybe just doing something (physical) I haven't done before, on my own.

    So I took the bull by the horns!  And left quite proud of myself, even though I have a long road ahead.

    To TA, just take the baby steps.  You may not overcome the anxiety, but you'll work through it - and it will become easier over time.
    I am so very proud of you, Hedo! :hug:
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    That means the world to me...thank you :kiss:
  • what dreams
    what dreams Posts: 1,761
    Fantastic  -- and inspiring! I'm taking the bull by the horns and logging off the forum.
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,915
    Ive gone backwards but i am taking heart from your forwards moving hedo. 
    Well done for pushing through.
    Also i started a thread about that  toxic  vibe around  the  porch. Its awful at the moment . No comment  is safe well that goes for everywhere  really. Good idea to walk away for  a bit.



    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • deadendp
    deadendp Northeast Ohio Posts: 10,434
    edited January 2020
    lastexitlondon said:
    Ive gone backwards but i am taking heart from your forwards moving hedo. 
    Well done for pushing through.
    Also i started a thread about that  toxic  vibe around  the  porch. Its awful at the moment . No comment  is safe well that goes for everywhere  really. Good idea to walk away for  a bit.
    This one is safe. :hug:
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,915
    TA i am always here on whatsapp if you  ever  need a chat mate.


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,915
    edited January 2020
    True its safe here and I cant stop coming here . I feel i amfriends  with all of you through just a username but we are all the same kind of souls. 
    The truth is i have done a month sober from alcohol  but i wont maintain that very long.
    I tried smoking a few times and it took me away but the  negatives were quite a few also.
    Post edited by lastexitlondon on


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,915
    Im left with no way of living sober with these awful brain symptoms.  
    I only  have my strong inner self which is horrible to me and cant love me. I dont feel like im left  with any way to stay and look this in the face.


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -

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