A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    My mum wallows in misery but it's not like I consciously try to emulate her.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    JPPJ84 said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    HughFreakingDillon said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    It's also the hard decision of whether or not to continue with my university studies or just look for a full time job. My head is spinning.
    I don't know what to do and it's stressing me out.
    you know what to do. you just don't want to do it. 

    get a job
    move out
    move on with your life
    continue your studies part time as you can
    The problem with trying to find a job is that in order to receive the dole I can only apply for full time jobs.
    If I apply for part time jobs I won't get my dole payments.
    I'd like to apply for part time jobs so I can study part time but it's not possible. 
    I‘ve got colleagues working full time and finishing their degrees at the same time. It’s some sort of part-time uni program that allows them to do that. I’m sure you have those in Australia as well?
    Sorry I realised I missed this. Yes, we have part time offered by universities
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    oftenreading said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    Last time I saw my psychologist he kept looking at his wrist watch. It made me feel like he couldn't be bothered. He's the only one I can see because it's free for 10 sessions.
    Well, maybe rooky mistake on your therapist’s part if he had to look at a watch - most therapists know to have a clock on the wall behind their clients’ , so they can discretely check the time ;).

    You may benefit from looking at this scenario using some of the CBT principles that you’ve learned, though, because you’re jumping to conclusions and putting the most negative spin on this, which often brings you down. Therapists are humans with jobs, and they have to keep to time so that they can see their other clients. 

    What other explanations can you generate that don’t assume he’s sick of you? Maybe his clock is broken and he really doesn’t want to run behind. Maybe he had a personal issue that’s distracting him - his kid is sick and he needs to fit in calling the doctor between you and his next client. Maybe he wasn’t feeling well. Maybe he just really had to go to the bathroom!

    The point is, you don’t know the reason and you’re assuming the worst and running with it. Try to be mindful of this tendency and generate alternate hypothesis instead. You are an educated man - use your critical thinking here as well!
    Earlier today I posted that I think my best friend might be pissed off at me. This was because of the way he replied to my message asking how he is. He told me tonight he's been bombarded with messages on Facebook marketplace as he's sold heaps of items. That explains it. Why do I fail to stop these faulty cognitions all the time?
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 15,084
    edited January 2020
    Inferiority  complex from  not feeling good enough.
    You are good and  like i say its from what you have been through and what you are surrounded by. 


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • HughFreakingDillon
    HughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 40,118
    lastexitlondon said:
    mickeyrat said:
    am curious though Rob, did the writing of the journey provide any relief? if so, dont read it......just write it.
    It actually made me feel pathetic. And useless . My now partner said why are you reliving your  pain and it was kind of confirming my sorrow was every single minute of my day. Sadly
    sometimes I felt that way when I'd write a song when in the depths. I would wonder what I was doing it for. It felt like it was making things worse. But it most likely was a cathartic release that needed to happen, much like crying, but through my pen. 
    Your boos mean nothing to me, for I have seen what makes you cheer



  • HughFreakingDillon
    HughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 40,118
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    what a day of extreme emotions. All the negative emotions and then excitement at hearing my own song for the first time after I received it back from my friend who produced it in his home studio.
    awesome! 
    Your boos mean nothing to me, for I have seen what makes you cheer



  • oftenreading
    oftenreading Victoria, BC Posts: 12,856
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    oftenreading said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    Last time I saw my psychologist he kept looking at his wrist watch. It made me feel like he couldn't be bothered. He's the only one I can see because it's free for 10 sessions.
    Well, maybe rooky mistake on your therapist’s part if he had to look at a watch - most therapists know to have a clock on the wall behind their clients’ , so they can discretely check the time ;).

    You may benefit from looking at this scenario using some of the CBT principles that you’ve learned, though, because you’re jumping to conclusions and putting the most negative spin on this, which often brings you down. Therapists are humans with jobs, and they have to keep to time so that they can see their other clients. 

    What other explanations can you generate that don’t assume he’s sick of you? Maybe his clock is broken and he really doesn’t want to run behind. Maybe he had a personal issue that’s distracting him - his kid is sick and he needs to fit in calling the doctor between you and his next client. Maybe he wasn’t feeling well. Maybe he just really had to go to the bathroom!

    The point is, you don’t know the reason and you’re assuming the worst and running with it. Try to be mindful of this tendency and generate alternate hypothesis instead. You are an educated man - use your critical thinking here as well!
    Earlier today I posted that I think my best friend might be pissed off at me. This was because of the way he replied to my message asking how he is. He told me tonight he's been bombarded with messages on Facebook marketplace as he's sold heaps of items. That explains it. Why do I fail to stop these faulty cognitions all the time?
    Are you doing the work to identify and challenge them every time?

    I think you have some idea of the thoughts that bring you down, so don't stop there - take the extra step and look at as many alternate explanations as you can come up with. Some times your initial reaction may be correct, but as we've seen just in this thread, more often than not it isn't. 
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • Matts3221
    Matts3221 Posts: 658

    LastExit

    I think Micky has it right , if the writing helps you then do it , if it does not then don't do it. Again I threw my writings away as soon as I was done. I am sure it looked like the ramblings of a madman but to just free your mind and get that word vomit out onto paper would help me realize that it was going to be ok.

    I got home last night , spoke to my wife and let her know what was going on , she listen that was really all I needed someone to listen , snuggled up on the couch with our cat laying on top of us and it seem to fade away.

    Woke up with a knot in my stomach this morning , I then realized in the midst of my panicking that I never mentioned my doctor just changed my anxiety meds and I started them on Monday. So my body is obviously going thru a change and I recognize that. Hope that these meds work out over the next few weeks and my doctor said we could go back if the new ones don't work as well. I have been on my current script for 11 years so I am sure my body is a little withdrawn from the prior meds.

    I hope everyone is have a great day or a better day then yesterday.

  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    oftenreading said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    oftenreading said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    Last time I saw my psychologist he kept looking at his wrist watch. It made me feel like he couldn't be bothered. He's the only one I can see because it's free for 10 sessions.
    Well, maybe rooky mistake on your therapist’s part if he had to look at a watch - most therapists know to have a clock on the wall behind their clients’ , so they can discretely check the time ;).

    You may benefit from looking at this scenario using some of the CBT principles that you’ve learned, though, because you’re jumping to conclusions and putting the most negative spin on this, which often brings you down. Therapists are humans with jobs, and they have to keep to time so that they can see their other clients. 

    What other explanations can you generate that don’t assume he’s sick of you? Maybe his clock is broken and he really doesn’t want to run behind. Maybe he had a personal issue that’s distracting him - his kid is sick and he needs to fit in calling the doctor between you and his next client. Maybe he wasn’t feeling well. Maybe he just really had to go to the bathroom!

    The point is, you don’t know the reason and you’re assuming the worst and running with it. Try to be mindful of this tendency and generate alternate hypothesis instead. You are an educated man - use your critical thinking here as well!
    Earlier today I posted that I think my best friend might be pissed off at me. This was because of the way he replied to my message asking how he is. He told me tonight he's been bombarded with messages on Facebook marketplace as he's sold heaps of items. That explains it. Why do I fail to stop these faulty cognitions all the time?
    Are you doing the work to identify and challenge them every time?

    I think you have some idea of the thoughts that bring you down, so don't stop there - take the extra step and look at as many alternate explanations as you can come up with. Some times your initial reaction may be correct, but as we've seen just in this thread, more often than not it isn't. 
    It's like my mind gets so caught up in the worst case scenario that I forget to think of alternative explanations. So the answer is no.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    My parents and other family members look down on those who rent rather than own their own house and it is giving me anxiety.
    I'll be judged and ridiculed for selling my house and deciding to rent.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    My parents and other family members look down on those who rent rather than own their own house and it is giving me anxiety.
    I'll be judged and ridiculed for selling my house and deciding to rent.
    So?  You'll be taking a positive step for yourself.  Isn't your personal progression more important than the opinions of others?
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    I know, it just gets to me a lot. 
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • JPPJ84
    JPPJ84 Hamburg, Germany Posts: 3,464
    Why are you selling your house?
  • deadendp
    deadendp Northeast Ohio Posts: 10,434
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    I know, it just gets to me a lot. 
    Correct me if I am wrong, but you own a house and you don't live in it, right?  You stay at your parents house. Wouldn't you think renting would be better than either one of those circumstances? One is eating you alive and one is bleeding you dry. For the love of whatever gets you through, stop caring what people think. You do you. You care about you. 
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    JPPJ84 said:
    Why are you selling your house?
    I cannot afford to pay a mortgage and rent at the same time. 
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    deadendp said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    I know, it just gets to me a lot. 
    Correct me if I am wrong, but you own a house and you don't live in it, right?  You stay at your parents house. Wouldn't you think renting would be better than either one of those circumstances? One is eating you alive and one is bleeding you dry. For the love of whatever gets you through, stop caring what people think. You do you. You care about you. 
    I have tenants in there to help me repay the mortgage. I don't own shit. I still owe a lot of money to the bank. It will be over 20 years working full time before I can pay it off. I stay here with my parents because I cannot afford to pay the mortgage on my own.
    My mum looks down on a cousin of hers because he's never owned a home in his life. She looks at him like he is a loser.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • JPPJ84
    JPPJ84 Hamburg, Germany Posts: 3,464
    edited January 2020
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    JPPJ84 said:
    Why are you selling your house?
    I cannot afford to pay a mortgage and rent at the same time. 
    Fair enough. Now put a positive spin on that. Like you’re doing it to get somewhere instead of getting away from something. So again, why are you selling your house?
  • JPPJ84
    JPPJ84 Hamburg, Germany Posts: 3,464
    Btw I‘m sure we’re all looking down at your mother for being a cold-hearted, bitter old hag. She’s got no right to look down on anyone 
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    JPPJ84 said:
    Thoughts_Arrive said:
    JPPJ84 said:
    Why are you selling your house?
    I cannot afford to pay a mortgage and rent at the same time. 
    Fair enough. Now put a positive spin on that. Like you’re doing it to get somewhere instead of getting away from something. So again, why are you selling your house?
    As my best friend said, to get out of this prison I am in?
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • deadendp
    deadendp Northeast Ohio Posts: 10,434
    I thought you were selling the house? :i_dunno:
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1

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