A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Matts3221 said:

PJ_Soul said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I understand she has a boyfriend but at least a simple greeting wouldn't hurt. Maybe as said above she was in her own world.
Later in the day after posting the above, I was sitting on the floor outside the classroom where my tutorial was going to be and talking with a guy I know from the previous course I was enrolled in. When the tutorial finished she walked out and noticed me and and smiled and I waved hello and that was that. No, I wasn't stalking her, her tutorial is before mine and I was waiting.
I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everyone in my circle is in love but me. I feel so alone and terrified I will never find someone. No antidepressant will fix that.

the problem I see here is that you don't allow others to be in their own world. who knows what was going on in her head when she walked passed you. people deal with their own shit, and can't always be concerned or notice absolutely every other person they know. sometimes it's just too hard. there are an infinite number of reasons she may have not said hi. 

also, why didn't YOU say hi?

I agree with all of this.

I also think that this woman with the serious boyfriend isn't up for grabs anyway, and that there is no reason for you to be sweating something so much when all it is and all it can be is a casual friendship at most.

I agree with both of the above. Thoughts_Arrived if you don't mind me asking how old are you? I think that too much is placed on humans that you need to have a partner at a certain age or need to be in love or need to have a certain job.

When really every human is so different, I had no serious girlfriend from 19-32 , just hung out with my friends , honestly did not want to be in a relationship and even when I was I would self sabotage it with my fears , worries or depression. I would project what I was feeling the other person was thinking on them. So in my mind I would assume someone was upset with me , I would then be upset with them and not even ask what was going on.

I  believe one cannot truly love until you love yourself for who you are. It took me over 10 years to realize that I loved myself for who I was , all my flaws , all my issues , my happiness my sadness it is what makes me who I am for better or worst.

I am not trying to make you feel bad at all because this is a safe space but it feels like you are putting a lot on you have to meet someone , you have to be with someone now and if you are not then you will be alone forever. That can sometimes create some desperation and I can tell you that those who do love themselves can smell that desperation a mile away. Try to take it day by day , don't think that just because someone does not say hello it is a slight to you , they could have found out someone in their family has a serious illness or they could also be depressed or have anxiety and think you are not saying hi to them.

Just take it day by day , you will get there. If everyday you are looking to fall in love it is really not going to happen , just take a deep breath , when you feel slighted don't bury the emotions you have. Let them fester for five mins or so and then move on from there.

Thanks for the words.

I'm 35.

My parents are unhappy that I have not married and had kids.

learn to live your own life and stop giving two fucking shits what anyone else thinks. parents, friends, relatives, profs, you name it. they aren't you, so they can't judge SHIT. my sister has been trying her whole life to "make me better". i was never good enough the way i was. i told her one day, well, several times, over the years, to back the fuck up and fuck the hell off. and look at her now: she had a shit marriage and her husband fucking died of alcoholism. 

see, most people who try to improve others are just sad about their own shitty lives and can't bear to deal with it, so they try to prop themselves up by 'teaching' others how they should be. it's text book unhappiness projection. or narcissism. either way, it's toxic as fuck and you need to rid yourself of it. 

you keep making excuses why you don't move out. school, no money, whatever it is. people do it. you can do it. your life will continue to suck as long as you stay under that roof. 

happiness does not come from satisfying others alone. i love making people happy. but i wouldn't be able to if i wasn't happy myself. 

it's so frustrating to sit here and see you complain over and over again what other people think of you. WHO CARES. seriously, WHO FUCKING CARES. as i said before, you need to take the bull by the horns and talk to people. initiate initiate initiate. if people don't reciprocate, then accept it and move on. don't watch someone walk by and then wonder to yourself why they didn't open up their life to you. you are responsible for how your day goes. if they don't say hi. you say hi. very simple. do you think any one of us have been accepted as 'awesome' by every person we've ever met? fuck no. i'm sure there are people that don't care for me, don't like me, even fucking hate me. guess what. i don't know because i don't give a shit. hang out and commiserate with people i know like me, and i like them. the rest of them, there's fucking 7 billion of em. all i do is try to be nice and respectful to everyone, friend or stranger, and the rest takes care of itself. 

pick up that guitar. force yourself. write a song. do something for yourself that makes you proud of yourself or at least satisfies you once a day. 

take a walk. 
go walk a dog at a shelter. 
go get a record or a cd at a used shop and put it on and get lost in it. 
go to a movie alone. 

i learned to relish, even love, being alone after my first long term relationship ended. those two years were amazing. only then, when i was happy with myself, did things start coming together. people seemed to gravitate towards me and want to hang out. because i was happy with myself, fun to be with, and it didn't matter that i was 27, working two dead end part time jobs 60 hours a week. living with a male room mate who looked like drew carey with no front teeth. i was on my own, without the witch that was dragging me down, and it was great. my parents were happy that i was happy. 

you gotta walk your own walk man. no one's going to walk it for you. and waiting for people to come around just won't work. it won't happen. not until you work on yourself first. 

lastexitlondon said:

Sorry chris. Ive whatsapped you.  Ive never been this bad.  Nothing  works im in distress all day all night. My race  seems to be ran.
I can only thank everyone  over the last few years for listening to my plight with warm hearts.  Good souls. Im sorry all i would write will be upsetting others maybe. Ive tried not to post. 

Thinking of you, LEL. Hoping you can pull through this to see a lil sun on the other side. Hang in there. 

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Matts3221 said:

PJ_Soul said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I understand she has a boyfriend but at least a simple greeting wouldn't hurt. Maybe as said above she was in her own world.
Later in the day after posting the above, I was sitting on the floor outside the classroom where my tutorial was going to be and talking with a guy I know from the previous course I was enrolled in. When the tutorial finished she walked out and noticed me and and smiled and I waved hello and that was that. No, I wasn't stalking her, her tutorial is before mine and I was waiting.
I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everyone in my circle is in love but me. I feel so alone and terrified I will never find someone. No antidepressant will fix that.

the problem I see here is that you don't allow others to be in their own world. who knows what was going on in her head when she walked passed you. people deal with their own shit, and can't always be concerned or notice absolutely every other person they know. sometimes it's just too hard. there are an infinite number of reasons she may have not said hi. 

also, why didn't YOU say hi?

I agree with all of this.

I also think that this woman with the serious boyfriend isn't up for grabs anyway, and that there is no reason for you to be sweating something so much when all it is and all it can be is a casual friendship at most.

I agree with both of the above. Thoughts_Arrived if you don't mind me asking how old are you? I think that too much is placed on humans that you need to have a partner at a certain age or need to be in love or need to have a certain job.

When really every human is so different, I had no serious girlfriend from 19-32 , just hung out with my friends , honestly did not want to be in a relationship and even when I was I would self sabotage it with my fears , worries or depression. I would project what I was feeling the other person was thinking on them. So in my mind I would assume someone was upset with me , I would then be upset with them and not even ask what was going on.

I  believe one cannot truly love until you love yourself for who you are. It took me over 10 years to realize that I loved myself for who I was , all my flaws , all my issues , my happiness my sadness it is what makes me who I am for better or worst.

I am not trying to make you feel bad at all because this is a safe space but it feels like you are putting a lot on you have to meet someone , you have to be with someone now and if you are not then you will be alone forever. That can sometimes create some desperation and I can tell you that those who do love themselves can smell that desperation a mile away. Try to take it day by day , don't think that just because someone does not say hello it is a slight to you , they could have found out someone in their family has a serious illness or they could also be depressed or have anxiety and think you are not saying hi to them.

Just take it day by day , you will get there. If everyday you are looking to fall in love it is really not going to happen , just take a deep breath , when you feel slighted don't bury the emotions you have. Let them fester for five mins or so and then move on from there.

Thanks for the words.

I'm 35.

My parents are unhappy that I have not married and had kids.

learn to live your own life and stop giving two fucking shits what anyone else thinks. parents, friends, relatives, profs, you name it. they aren't you, so they can't judge SHIT. my sister has been trying her whole life to "make me better". i was never good enough the way i was. i told her one day, well, several times, over the years, to back the fuck up and fuck the hell off. and look at her now: she had a shit marriage and her husband fucking died of alcoholism. 

see, most people who try to improve others are just sad about their own shitty lives and can't bear to deal with it, so they try to prop themselves up by 'teaching' others how they should be. it's text book unhappiness projection. or narcissism. either way, it's toxic as fuck and you need to rid yourself of it. 

you keep making excuses why you don't move out. school, no money, whatever it is. people do it. you can do it. your life will continue to suck as long as you stay under that roof. 

happiness does not come from satisfying others alone. i love making people happy. but i wouldn't be able to if i wasn't happy myself. 

it's so frustrating to sit here and see you complain over and over again what other people think of you. WHO CARES. seriously, WHO FUCKING CARES. as i said before, you need to take the bull by the horns and talk to people. initiate initiate initiate. if people don't reciprocate, then accept it and move on. don't watch someone walk by and then wonder to yourself why they didn't open up their life to you. you are responsible for how your day goes. if they don't say hi. you say hi. very simple. do you think any one of us have been accepted as 'awesome' by every person we've ever met? fuck no. i'm sure there are people that don't care for me, don't like me, even fucking hate me. guess what. i don't know because i don't give a shit. hang out and commiserate with people i know like me, and i like them. the rest of them, there's fucking 7 billion of em. all i do is try to be nice and respectful to everyone, friend or stranger, and the rest takes care of itself. 

pick up that guitar. force yourself. write a song. do something for yourself that makes you proud of yourself or at least satisfies you once a day. 

take a walk. 
go walk a dog at a shelter. 
go get a record or a cd at a used shop and put it on and get lost in it. 
go to a movie alone. 

i learned to relish, even love, being alone after my first long term relationship ended. those two years were amazing. only then, when i was happy with myself, did things start coming together. people seemed to gravitate towards me and want to hang out. because i was happy with myself, fun to be with, and it didn't matter that i was 27, working two dead end part time jobs 60 hours a week. living with a male room mate who looked like drew carey with no front teeth. i was on my own, without the witch that was dragging me down, and it was great. my parents were happy that i was happy. 

you gotta walk your own walk man. no one's going to walk it for you. and waiting for people to come around just won't work. it won't happen. not until you work on yourself first. 

Thanks for that.
And sorry.

  https://www.inverse.com/article/60433-what-causes-anxiety-symptoms?utm_source=pocket-newtab

Sorry to hear. Are you on any anti-anxiety medication?
Are you in a position to look for psychologists that specialise in health anxiety?
I had a Google search for psychologists specialising in health anxiety in the UK and I found this site. If you scroll to the profiles of the psychologists you will see there are London based psychologists and one does Skype sessions which you could consider if this particular psychologist is not in London.
https://theprivatetherapyclinic.co.uk/health-anxiety/

lastexitlondon said:

To be honest im still doing all the school lifts and  that is all i can manage.  I will try meds again out of sheer desparacy . I will end up in patient in the end i guess. Its not really my choice.  The drs have to send me and they won't.  If i go to hospital it has to be when suicidal then they will assess me. Dont get me wrong i want to be better. I want to have a chance. But my symptoms are unbearable. 24/7.
I try and say my dr has 35 years  experience  and he is certain its not that disease i say it is. So i must trust him. But can't  trust anyone over myself and my inner voice and feelings.

At this point I have to agree with others , I do think your only choice right now is to be In Patient. Although you are still giving drives to your kids , this can be worked out somehow it is for your health. I think that you posting on here is something that shows you want help badly. I got very worried reading some of your messages you left the past few days. You sound like you do seriously need the help.

Although it may not be what you want if it is a step to get better than it is a step worth taken , a step for your kids and family. Don't give up , keep fighting the good fight and get the help you need.

With lots of love being sent your way to you and your family

lastexitlondon said:

Sadly no good m. Its all too much. 
Mickey i tried  to read it but straight  away saw the illness that im scared of and couldn't  not read any further. I cant even see the word. Not your fault mine. I cant even  see the  word.

Please go to the hospital and check yourself into the Psych Ward. I you don't feel you're worth that, then please at least remember that your family is. And NO circumstance in your life or family right now is more important than you going to the hospital and saving your life. As everyone else has already said, in-patient care is the clear next step. It really might be the one thing that helps you right now.

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Matts3221 said:

PJ_Soul said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I understand she has a boyfriend but at least a simple greeting wouldn't hurt. Maybe as said above she was in her own world.
Later in the day after posting the above, I was sitting on the floor outside the classroom where my tutorial was going to be and talking with a guy I know from the previous course I was enrolled in. When the tutorial finished she walked out and noticed me and and smiled and I waved hello and that was that. No, I wasn't stalking her, her tutorial is before mine and I was waiting.
I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everyone in my circle is in love but me. I feel so alone and terrified I will never find someone. No antidepressant will fix that.

the problem I see here is that you don't allow others to be in their own world. who knows what was going on in her head when she walked passed you. people deal with their own shit, and can't always be concerned or notice absolutely every other person they know. sometimes it's just too hard. there are an infinite number of reasons she may have not said hi. 

also, why didn't YOU say hi?

I agree with all of this.

I also think that this woman with the serious boyfriend isn't up for grabs anyway, and that there is no reason for you to be sweating something so much when all it is and all it can be is a casual friendship at most.

I agree with both of the above. Thoughts_Arrived if you don't mind me asking how old are you? I think that too much is placed on humans that you need to have a partner at a certain age or need to be in love or need to have a certain job.

When really every human is so different, I had no serious girlfriend from 19-32 , just hung out with my friends , honestly did not want to be in a relationship and even when I was I would self sabotage it with my fears , worries or depression. I would project what I was feeling the other person was thinking on them. So in my mind I would assume someone was upset with me , I would then be upset with them and not even ask what was going on.

I  believe one cannot truly love until you love yourself for who you are. It took me over 10 years to realize that I loved myself for who I was , all my flaws , all my issues , my happiness my sadness it is what makes me who I am for better or worst.

I am not trying to make you feel bad at all because this is a safe space but it feels like you are putting a lot on you have to meet someone , you have to be with someone now and if you are not then you will be alone forever. That can sometimes create some desperation and I can tell you that those who do love themselves can smell that desperation a mile away. Try to take it day by day , don't think that just because someone does not say hello it is a slight to you , they could have found out someone in their family has a serious illness or they could also be depressed or have anxiety and think you are not saying hi to them.

Just take it day by day , you will get there. If everyday you are looking to fall in love it is really not going to happen , just take a deep breath , when you feel slighted don't bury the emotions you have. Let them fester for five mins or so and then move on from there.

Thanks for the words.

I'm 35.

My parents are unhappy that I have not married and had kids.

learn to live your own life and stop giving two fucking shits what anyone else thinks. parents, friends, relatives, profs, you name it. they aren't you, so they can't judge SHIT. my sister has been trying her whole life to "make me better". i was never good enough the way i was. i told her one day, well, several times, over the years, to back the fuck up and fuck the hell off. and look at her now: she had a shit marriage and her husband fucking died of alcoholism. 

see, most people who try to improve others are just sad about their own shitty lives and can't bear to deal with it, so they try to prop themselves up by 'teaching' others how they should be. it's text book unhappiness projection. or narcissism. either way, it's toxic as fuck and you need to rid yourself of it. 

you keep making excuses why you don't move out. school, no money, whatever it is. people do it. you can do it. your life will continue to suck as long as you stay under that roof. 

happiness does not come from satisfying others alone. i love making people happy. but i wouldn't be able to if i wasn't happy myself. 

it's so frustrating to sit here and see you complain over and over again what other people think of you. WHO CARES. seriously, WHO FUCKING CARES. as i said before, you need to take the bull by the horns and talk to people. initiate initiate initiate. if people don't reciprocate, then accept it and move on. don't watch someone walk by and then wonder to yourself why they didn't open up their life to you. you are responsible for how your day goes. if they don't say hi. you say hi. very simple. do you think any one of us have been accepted as 'awesome' by every person we've ever met? fuck no. i'm sure there are people that don't care for me, don't like me, even fucking hate me. guess what. i don't know because i don't give a shit. hang out and commiserate with people i know like me, and i like them. the rest of them, there's fucking 7 billion of em. all i do is try to be nice and respectful to everyone, friend or stranger, and the rest takes care of itself. 

pick up that guitar. force yourself. write a song. do something for yourself that makes you proud of yourself or at least satisfies you once a day. 

take a walk. 
go walk a dog at a shelter. 
go get a record or a cd at a used shop and put it on and get lost in it. 
go to a movie alone. 

i learned to relish, even love, being alone after my first long term relationship ended. those two years were amazing. only then, when i was happy with myself, did things start coming together. people seemed to gravitate towards me and want to hang out. because i was happy with myself, fun to be with, and it didn't matter that i was 27, working two dead end part time jobs 60 hours a week. living with a male room mate who looked like drew carey with no front teeth. i was on my own, without the witch that was dragging me down, and it was great. my parents were happy that i was happy. 

you gotta walk your own walk man. no one's going to walk it for you. and waiting for people to come around just won't work. it won't happen. not until you work on yourself first. 

Thanks for that.
And sorry.

I'm confused as to why you keep apologizing.....

Because I am a pain in the ass.