Should I ask Agnes out on a date?

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Comments

  • No
    njnancy said:
    Nothing as unsexy as people talking about meat.

    Me and Agnes never talk about meat. 
    You've obviously never been to Jersey. :smile:

    And when did you and Agnes last speak? Inquiring minds want to know.

    I think they're on hiatus, because she cuts into his KISS time.
  • No
    For the single people...Do any of you plan on staying single by choice?  My Dad had 2 cousins who choose to be single.  One did eventually marry, in his 70's, he died about 2 years later...  
    I crave love. But then I feel like I don't want a relationship. I'd like companionship but not the arguments, having to fit in with her family and social group who I may not like etc.
    Have you tried sped dating?  Many places arrange speed dating for free, check out the community news.  No idea how you avoid conflict/argument, it's part of life ... it's more important how you handle conflict, unfortunately, most people have never been taught good conflict resolution skills.  Your last sentence is normal fears.  Just be yourself.  You do not want someone who can not except you, as you.  
    I've considered it as I refuse to try online dating. Not just the acceptance of me as me but the having to put up with people I don't like.
    Plus seeing how my two sisters' marriages have turned to shit has left me feeling less than optimistic about marriages.
    As well as what I learned at university, passion fades over time, we habituate to our partner and that is why people break up or cheat.

    That why I suggested speed dating.  Do like playing cards/board games ... some community centres host things like this.    Have you tried meetup.com?  Sadly, lots and lots of marriage's turn to shit these days.  And lots and lots of marriages are going to turn to shit.  It is true, with some the passion fades.  Some it's a mid-life crisis that ends the marriage, affairs, spouse wants a different life...whatever it is.  My Mom who was married to my Dad for over 50 years until she passed, always said people need to learn forgiveness to have successful marriages.
    What advice did your dad give?
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    Yes
    For the single people...Do any of you plan on staying single by choice?  My Dad had 2 cousins who choose to be single.  One did eventually marry, in his 70's, he died about 2 years later...  
    I crave love. But then I feel like I don't want a relationship. I'd like companionship but not the arguments, having to fit in with her family and social group who I may not like etc.
    Have you tried sped dating?  Many places arrange speed dating for free, check out the community news.  No idea how you avoid conflict/argument, it's part of life ... it's more important how you handle conflict, unfortunately, most people have never been taught good conflict resolution skills.  Your last sentence is normal fears.  Just be yourself.  You do not want someone who can not except you, as you.  
    I've considered it as I refuse to try online dating. Not just the acceptance of me as me but the having to put up with people I don't like.
    Plus seeing how my two sisters' marriages have turned to shit has left me feeling less than optimistic about marriages.
    As well as what I learned at university, passion fades over time, we habituate to our partner and that is why people break up or cheat.

    That why I suggested speed dating.  Do like playing cards/board games ... some community centres host things like this.    Have you tried meetup.com?  Sadly, lots and lots of marriage's turn to shit these days.  And lots and lots of marriages are going to turn to shit.  It is true, with some the passion fades.  Some it's a mid-life crisis that ends the marriage, affairs, spouse wants a different life...whatever it is.  My Mom who was married to my Dad for over 50 years until she passed, always said people need to learn forgiveness to have successful marriages.
    What advice did your dad give?
    My Dad lead by example.  They both were forgiving people.  I do think there is a lot of truth to forgiving.  It takes a lot of negative energy to argue/has a dispute and let it fester...
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 28,867
    edited December 2018
    Went to the pharmacy and ran into a new employee from the HR department. She stopped me and we talked a while about my surgery and about how I was feeling. 

    One - kind of weird talking to people from work outside of the office. Sort of. A bit.

    Two - Maybe I should ask her out. BEING ON THE ROLL THAT I AM!
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • No
    For the single people...Do any of you plan on staying single by choice?  My Dad had 2 cousins who choose to be single.  One did eventually marry, in his 70's, he died about 2 years later...  
    I crave love. But then I feel like I don't want a relationship. I'd like companionship but not the arguments, having to fit in with her family and social group who I may not like etc.
    Have you tried sped dating?  Many places arrange speed dating for free, check out the community news.  No idea how you avoid conflict/argument, it's part of life ... it's more important how you handle conflict, unfortunately, most people have never been taught good conflict resolution skills.  Your last sentence is normal fears.  Just be yourself.  You do not want someone who can not except you, as you.  
    I've considered it as I refuse to try online dating. Not just the acceptance of me as me but the having to put up with people I don't like.
    Plus seeing how my two sisters' marriages have turned to shit has left me feeling less than optimistic about marriages.
    As well as what I learned at university, passion fades over time, we habituate to our partner and that is why people break up or cheat.

    That why I suggested speed dating.  Do like playing cards/board games ... some community centres host things like this.    Have you tried meetup.com?  Sadly, lots and lots of marriage's turn to shit these days.  And lots and lots of marriages are going to turn to shit.  It is true, with some the passion fades.  Some it's a mid-life crisis that ends the marriage, affairs, spouse wants a different life...whatever it is.  My Mom who was married to my Dad for over 50 years until she passed, always said people need to learn forgiveness to have successful marriages.
    What advice did your dad give?
    My Dad lead by example.  They both were forgiving people.  I do think there is a lot of truth to forgiving.  It takes a lot of negative energy to argue/has a dispute and let it fester...
    I agree with that.
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 28,867
    edited December 2018
    1. Being able to forgive
    2. Having a similiar interest in music/movies
    3. Similiar vibes concerning sex
    4. Not eating meat or vote for the unsympathetic and unempathetic right
    5. A pure and magnetic sense of humour

    All you need for a succesful relationship
    Post edited by Spiritual_Chaos on
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,808
    Went to the pharmacy and ran into a new employee from the HR department. She stopped me and we talked a while about my surgery and about how I was feeling. 

    One - kind of weird talking to people from work outside of the office. Sort of. A bit.

    Two - Maybe I should ask her out. BEING ON THE ROLL THAT I AM!
    I would caution against dating/asking someone out from HR. 
    Darwinspeed, all. 

    Cheers,

    HFD




  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    Yes
    Went to the pharmacy and ran into a new employee from the HR department. She stopped me and we talked a while about my surgery and about how I was feeling. 

    One - kind of weird talking to people from work outside of the office. Sort of. A bit.

    Two - Maybe I should ask her out. BEING ON THE ROLL THAT I AM!
    You should.  If it works out well, people here have given you options for preparing her a good breakfast...
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • Went to the pharmacy and ran into a new employee from the HR department. She stopped me and we talked a while about my surgery and about how I was feeling. 

    One - kind of weird talking to people from work outside of the office. Sort of. A bit.

    Two - Maybe I should ask her out. BEING ON THE ROLL THAT I AM!
    I would caution against dating/asking someone out from HR. 
    Haha. Yeah. True that.
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 49,473
    edited December 2018
    Yes
    For the single people...Do any of you plan on staying single by choice?  My Dad had 2 cousins who choose to be single.  One did eventually marry, in his 70's, he died about 2 years later...  
    I crave love. But then I feel like I don't want a relationship. I'd like companionship but not the arguments, having to fit in with her family and social group who I may not like etc.
    Have you tried sped dating?  Many places arrange speed dating for free, check out the community news.  No idea how you avoid conflict/argument, it's part of life ... it's more important how you handle conflict, unfortunately, most people have never been taught good conflict resolution skills.  Your last sentence is normal fears.  Just be yourself.  You do not want someone who can not except you, as you.  
    I've considered it as I refuse to try online dating. Not just the acceptance of me as me but the having to put up with people I don't like.
    Plus seeing how my two sisters' marriages have turned to shit has left me feeling less than optimistic about marriages.
    As well as what I learned at university, passion fades over time, we habituate to our partner and that is why people break up or cheat.

    If you refuse to participate in life with people, which will necessarily involve some conflict/disagreement, and meeting other people who turn up in said life, then there is no way you can have a relationship, or have any children. Sorry. Sounds like you either need to get over that, or resign yourself to being alone, or find someone with literally no family, no friends, who doesn't want children, and never has anything to say or thoughts of her own for you two to disagree over.  These are the only options you've left available to yourself at this time. I really do hope you can change them somehow.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • njnancynjnancy Northern New Jersey Posts: 5,096
    Yes
    njnancy said:
    Nothing as unsexy as people talking about meat.

    Me and Agnes never talk about meat. 
    You've obviously never been to Jersey. :smile:

    And when did you and Agnes last speak? Inquiring minds want to know.

    I think they're on hiatus, because she cuts into his KISS time.
    Well I hope their hiatus doesn't last...

    https://youtu.be/UGiruo6K238
  • No
    :clap: Nancy's kicking out the jams! Love it! :clap:
  • HesCalledDyerHesCalledDyer Maryland Posts: 16,416
    Went to the pharmacy and ran into a new employee from the HR department. She stopped me and we talked a while about my surgery and about how I was feeling. 

    One - kind of weird talking to people from work outside of the office. Sort of. A bit.

    Two - Maybe I should ask her out. BEING ON THE ROLL THAT I AM!
    I would caution against dating/asking someone out from HR. 
    I would second that caution.
    Rule #1: Never take someone to bed from where you make your bread.
  • HesCalledDyerHesCalledDyer Maryland Posts: 16,416
    And it only took me about 10 times to learn that...
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 30,588
    No
    Went to the pharmacy and ran into a new employee from the HR department. She stopped me and we talked a while about my surgery and about how I was feeling. 

    One - kind of weird talking to people from work outside of the office. Sort of. A bit.

    Two - Maybe I should ask her out. BEING ON THE ROLL THAT I AM!
    I would caution against dating/asking someone out from HR. 
    I would second that caution.
    Rule #1: Never take someone to bed from where you make your bread.
    I prefer "Don't shit where you eat"
    Advice from my old man when I was a youngster
    :lol:
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • No
    Went to the pharmacy and ran into a new employee from the HR department. She stopped me and we talked a while about my surgery and about how I was feeling. 

    One - kind of weird talking to people from work outside of the office. Sort of. A bit.

    Two - Maybe I should ask her out. BEING ON THE ROLL THAT I AM!
    I would caution against dating/asking someone out from HR. 
    I would second that caution.
    Rule #1: Never take someone to bed from where you make your bread.
    I prefer "Don't shit where you eat"
    Advice from my old man when I was a youngster
    :lol:
    +1 
    Line from Moonstruck
     =) 
  • njnancy said:
    Nothing as unsexy as people talking about meat.

    Me and Agnes never talk about meat. 
    You've obviously never been to Jersey. :smile:

    And when did you and Agnes last speak? Inquiring minds want to know.

    IRL, we haven't met yet. 

    Talked on messanger about some ad-awards-show she was at. Last week. She said she had nothing to wear. I said I believed that was BS. She later said she found something to wear.
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,808
    njnancy said:
    Nothing as unsexy as people talking about meat.

    Me and Agnes never talk about meat. 
    You've obviously never been to Jersey. :smile:

    And when did you and Agnes last speak? Inquiring minds want to know.

    IRL, we haven't met yet. 

    Talked on messanger about some ad-awards-show she was at. Last week. She said she had nothing to wear. I said I believed that was BS. She later said she found something to wear.
    how does one have monthly/bi monthly beers having never met in real life?
    Darwinspeed, all. 

    Cheers,

    HFD




  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    Yes
    And it only took me about 10 times to learn that...
    LOL
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • njnancy said:
    Nothing as unsexy as people talking about meat.

    Me and Agnes never talk about meat. 
    You've obviously never been to Jersey. :smile:

    And when did you and Agnes last speak? Inquiring minds want to know.

    IRL, we haven't met yet. 

    Talked on messanger about some ad-awards-show she was at. Last week. She said she had nothing to wear. I said I believed that was BS. She later said she found something to wear.
    how does one have monthly/bi monthly beers having never met in real life?
    Haven't met since I asked her out.
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • No
    njnancy said:
    Nothing as unsexy as people talking about meat.

    Me and Agnes never talk about meat. 
    You've obviously never been to Jersey. :smile:

    And when did you and Agnes last speak? Inquiring minds want to know.

    IRL, we haven't met yet. 

    Talked on messanger about some ad-awards-show she was at. Last week. She said she had nothing to wear. I said I believed that was BS. She later said she found something to wear.
    how does one have monthly/bi monthly beers having never met in real life?
    I think he means post-surgery. At least I hope so. I would hate to imagine him at a pub sitting in a corner with a ventriloquist dummy.
  • njnancynjnancy Northern New Jersey Posts: 5,096
    Yes
    PJ_Soul said:
    For the single people...Do any of you plan on staying single by choice?  My Dad had 2 cousins who choose to be single.  One did eventually marry, in his 70's, he died about 2 years later...  
    I crave love. But then I feel like I don't want a relationship. I'd like companionship but not the arguments, having to fit in with her family and social group who I may not like etc.
    Have you tried sped dating?  Many places arrange speed dating for free, check out the community news.  No idea how you avoid conflict/argument, it's part of life ... it's more important how you handle conflict, unfortunately, most people have never been taught good conflict resolution skills.  Your last sentence is normal fears.  Just be yourself.  You do not want someone who can not except you, as you.  
    I've considered it as I refuse to try online dating. Not just the acceptance of me as me but the having to put up with people I don't like.
    Plus seeing how my two sisters' marriages have turned to shit has left me feeling less than optimistic about marriages.
    As well as what I learned at university, passion fades over time, we habituate to our partner and that is why people break up or cheat.

    If you refuse to participate in life with people, which will necessarily involve some conflict/disagreement, and meeting other people who turn up in said life, then there is no way you can have a relationship, or have any children. Sorry. Sounds like you either need to get over that, or resign yourself to being alone, or find someone with literally no family, no friends, who doesn't want children, and never has anything to say or thoughts of her own for you two to disagree over.  These are the only options you've left available to yourself at this time. I really do hope you can change them somehow.
    The woman speaks truth. 

    Relationships, either short term or long term, are messy. People are complex. Relationships take a lot of work in order to be successful and truly two people moving through the ups and downs of life together. People divorce when they hit a snag in a relationship and just aren't equipped to do the necessary things - real conversations, compromise, understanding, listening, forgiving, therapy, etc.  If you are meeting and marrying someone in your 20's/early 30's - there is going to be a lot of involvement from each other's families. Dealing with in-laws and friends of your partner is part of the deal. Sometimes divorce is necessary - a person turns out to be abusive or chronically unfaithful; but most times people bail instead of sticking out a rough patch. 

    Passion doesn't fade, lust fades. If you find someone that is right for you, you are not going to sustain a lust-filled sex life. It's a great starting point but there needs to be more than just mutual sexual attraction to have a relationship that is more than just a body buddy. You need to grow passionate about other aspects of that person and that is when you know that you have something real and worth doing whatever you need to do in order to make it work. If you don't grow the relationship past the initial lust phase, then that's all it will ever be and that's okay for some people. That's all some people want. Especially later in life. You need to be confident in who you are and what you want in order to successfully get out there and navigate relationships. If you don't want to deal with conflict or families or anything uncomfortable then you will have to resign yourself to just the initial stages of attraction and then moving on to someone else or not date at all.  
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,808
    njnancy said:
    Nothing as unsexy as people talking about meat.

    Me and Agnes never talk about meat. 
    You've obviously never been to Jersey. :smile:

    And when did you and Agnes last speak? Inquiring minds want to know.

    IRL, we haven't met yet. 

    Talked on messanger about some ad-awards-show she was at. Last week. She said she had nothing to wear. I said I believed that was BS. She later said she found something to wear.
    how does one have monthly/bi monthly beers having never met in real life?
    Haven't met since I asked her out.
    Oh, I thought you meant you had NEVER met. I thought, "jesus, 45 pages and we're just finding out this was an online thing NOW???"
    Darwinspeed, all. 

    Cheers,

    HFD




  • njnancynjnancy Northern New Jersey Posts: 5,096
    Yes
    Went to the pharmacy and ran into a new employee from the HR department. She stopped me and we talked a while about my surgery and about how I was feeling. 

    One - kind of weird talking to people from work outside of the office. Sort of. A bit.

    Two - Maybe I should ask her out. BEING ON THE ROLL THAT I AM!
    I would caution against dating/asking someone out from HR. 
    I would second that caution.
    Rule #1: Never take someone to bed from where you make your bread.
    I prefer "Don't shit where you eat"
    Advice from my old man when I was a youngster
    :lol:
    That's the advice I give my son now. Advice I was given when I was his age. I still had to learn the hard way. 
  • dankinddankind I am not your foot. Posts: 20,827
    Yes

    “If there are junk yards in hell, love is the dog that guards the gates.”

    --Buk

    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    Yes
    2 of the most important lessons I have learned while going through my separation are 1.  it does not matter if you are willing to cross an ocean for someone if they are not even willing to step over a puddle for you (when it dawned on me that my wife would not even cross a puddle, moving on became easier),  2 Never beg someone to be with you, if people do not want to be with you fuck em (when I realized that, I immediately blocked my wife on my phone, me taking control of my life).  
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    Yes
    For the single people...Do any of you plan on staying single by choice?  My Dad had 2 cousins who choose to be single.  One did eventually marry, in his 70's, he died about 2 years later...  
    I crave love. But then I feel like I don't want a relationship. I'd like companionship but not the arguments, having to fit in with her family and social group who I may not like etc.
    Have you tried sped dating?  Many places arrange speed dating for free, check out the community news.  No idea how you avoid conflict/argument, it's part of life ... it's more important how you handle conflict, unfortunately, most people have never been taught good conflict resolution skills.  Your last sentence is normal fears.  Just be yourself.  You do not want someone who can not except you, as you.  
    I've considered it as I refuse to try online dating. Not just the acceptance of me as me but the having to put up with people I don't like.
    Plus seeing how my two sisters' marriages have turned to shit has left me feeling less than optimistic about marriages.
    As well as what I learned at university, passion fades over time, we habituate to our partner and that is why people break up or cheat.

    That why I suggested speed dating.  Do like playing cards/board games ... some community centres host things like this.    Have you tried meetup.com?  Sadly, lots and lots of marriage's turn to shit these days.  And lots and lots of marriages are going to turn to shit.  It is true, with some the passion fades.  Some it's a mid-life crisis that ends the marriage, affairs, spouse wants a different life...whatever it is.  My Mom who was married to my Dad for over 50 years until she passed, always said people need to learn forgiveness to have successful marriages.
    I thought about speed dating and it's probably the only way I'll try to find love.
    Haven't tried meetup.com, a psychologist I used to see kept suggesting it to me as a way to make friends. I didn't know meetup.com is for dating? I don't know how to play card games lol, never been into them. Board games I never play.

    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    Yes
    For the single people...Do any of you plan on staying single by choice?  My Dad had 2 cousins who choose to be single.  One did eventually marry, in his 70's, he died about 2 years later...  
    I crave love. But then I feel like I don't want a relationship. I'd like companionship but not the arguments, having to fit in with her family and social group who I may not like etc.
    THAT'S WHAT I WANT TOO!! Let's have an unofficial non-commitment ceremony and celebrate with all the cheesiest Queen songs!!

    https://youtu.be/YehLQEp_88I
    Let's
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    Yes
    PJ_Soul said:
    For the single people...Do any of you plan on staying single by choice?  My Dad had 2 cousins who choose to be single.  One did eventually marry, in his 70's, he died about 2 years later...  
    I crave love. But then I feel like I don't want a relationship. I'd like companionship but not the arguments, having to fit in with her family and social group who I may not like etc.
    Have you tried sped dating?  Many places arrange speed dating for free, check out the community news.  No idea how you avoid conflict/argument, it's part of life ... it's more important how you handle conflict, unfortunately, most people have never been taught good conflict resolution skills.  Your last sentence is normal fears.  Just be yourself.  You do not want someone who can not except you, as you.  
    I've considered it as I refuse to try online dating. Not just the acceptance of me as me but the having to put up with people I don't like.
    Plus seeing how my two sisters' marriages have turned to shit has left me feeling less than optimistic about marriages.
    As well as what I learned at university, passion fades over time, we habituate to our partner and that is why people break up or cheat.

    If you refuse to participate in life with people, which will necessarily involve some conflict/disagreement, and meeting other people who turn up in said life, then there is no way you can have a relationship, or have any children. Sorry. Sounds like you either need to get over that, or resign yourself to being alone, or find someone with literally no family, no friends, who doesn't want children, and never has anything to say or thoughts of her own for you two to disagree over.  These are the only options you've left available to yourself at this time. I really do hope you can change them somehow.
    Maybe it's because I am so used to being alone that being in a relationship and all that it brings seems daunting and out of my comfort zone.
    As I've never been in a relationship it's a whole new world I am anxious about. I hate change.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    Yes
    I find many people so fake and fickle that it bugs me that I'll have to put up with my future girlfriend's family and friends.

    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
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