Should I ask Agnes out on a date?

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  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,163
    Yes
    Plus I don't feel I have anything to offer to a woman.
    Not employed, still living with my parents, not sure what I want to do with my life.
    Hardly an attractive option for a woman who would want financial stability, independence, career set.
    I was talking to my niece today about me not sure I still want to continue studying after I finish my bachelor's degree this year.
    Whether I want to take a gamble and pursue art full time or continue with psychology.
    And I am 35 soon. Lost soul much?
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 11,811
    Plus I don't feel I have anything to offer to a woman.
    Not employed, still living with my parents, not sure what I want to do with my life.
    Hardly an attractive option for a woman who would want financial stability, independence, career set.
    I was talking to my niece today about me not sure I still want to continue studying after I finish my bachelor's degree this year.
    Whether I want to take a gamble and pursue art full time or continue with psychology.
    And I am 35 soon. Lost soul much?
    Did she say those things, or are you thinking for her so you don't have to take a chance?

    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 11,088
    Plus I don't feel I have anything to offer to a woman.
    Not employed, still living with my parents, not sure what I want to do with my life.
    Hardly an attractive option for a woman who would want financial stability, independence, career set.
    I was talking to my niece today about me not sure I still want to continue studying after I finish my bachelor's degree this year.
    Whether I want to take a gamble and pursue art full time or continue with psychology.
    And I am 35 soon. Lost soul much?
    My age. I've never had a career set or financial satbility. 

    And would not want to meet a woman who put that at a top priority instead of "I really wanna hang out and wake up with this guy and I'm so happy to be around him".
    The man they call my enemy. I've seen his eyes, he looks just like me - A mirror...
  • OffSheGoes35OffSheGoes35 Posts: 1,710
    No
    Plus I don't feel I have anything to offer to a woman.
    Not employed, still living with my parents, not sure what I want to do with my life.
    Hardly an attractive option for a woman who would want financial stability, independence, career set.
    I was talking to my niece today about me not sure I still want to continue studying after I finish my bachelor's degree this year.
    Whether I want to take a gamble and pursue art full time or continue with psychology.
    And I am 35 soon. Lost soul much?
    The place where you went to take pictures of flowers during Christmas, you could invite her there. If you invite her on a photo shoot, maybe you would have less anxiety-you would have something else to focus on. 
  • OffSheGoes35OffSheGoes35 Posts: 1,710
    No
    Let's see if we can get updates from @bflynn1 and @Thoughts_Arrive ....

    How are you guys?
    Thoughts, are you still talking to "The Simpsons" lady?
    Not really. Here and there. Probably spoke once in the past month. If she was keen she'd initiate conversation.
    She invited you somewhere last time, it's your turn. :)
    Not sure I'd call it an invite. 
    She just told me about a musician who performs Simpsons songs live and that he was playing the night she messaged me.
    I then asked if she is going and she said yes. 
    It's not like she said "hey there's a gig tonight would you like to go with me?".

    I am actually very anxious and hesitant to try enter into any relationship.
    Why? Because I've never been in a relationship and because I've been single for so long, it would be a big change to be with someone.
    It's like I've become so used to being on my own that letting someone into my life would be a big shake up.
    You need to get out of your head. Give someone a chance to take you out of there. Even if it is just one chance. If that is all you get out of it, one night away from yourself, it will be worth it. 
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,163
    Yes
    Plus I don't feel I have anything to offer to a woman.
    Not employed, still living with my parents, not sure what I want to do with my life.
    Hardly an attractive option for a woman who would want financial stability, independence, career set.
    I was talking to my niece today about me not sure I still want to continue studying after I finish my bachelor's degree this year.
    Whether I want to take a gamble and pursue art full time or continue with psychology.
    And I am 35 soon. Lost soul much?
    The place where you went to take pictures of flowers during Christmas, you could invite her there. If you invite her on a photo shoot, maybe you would have less anxiety-you would have something else to focus on. 
    Funny you say that because she works as a photographer. 
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,163
    Yes
    rgambs said:
    Plus I don't feel I have anything to offer to a woman.
    Not employed, still living with my parents, not sure what I want to do with my life.
    Hardly an attractive option for a woman who would want financial stability, independence, career set.
    I was talking to my niece today about me not sure I still want to continue studying after I finish my bachelor's degree this year.
    Whether I want to take a gamble and pursue art full time or continue with psychology.
    And I am 35 soon. Lost soul much?
    Did she say those things, or are you thinking for her so you don't have to take a chance?

    I know man. Even my lecturers at university say that women are attracted to success (financial stability, money, possessions).

    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,163
    Yes
    Let's see if we can get updates from @bflynn1 and @Thoughts_Arrive ....

    How are you guys?
    Thoughts, are you still talking to "The Simpsons" lady?
    Not really. Here and there. Probably spoke once in the past month. If she was keen she'd initiate conversation.
    She invited you somewhere last time, it's your turn. :)
    Not sure I'd call it an invite. 
    She just told me about a musician who performs Simpsons songs live and that he was playing the night she messaged me.
    I then asked if she is going and she said yes. 
    It's not like she said "hey there's a gig tonight would you like to go with me?".

    I am actually very anxious and hesitant to try enter into any relationship.
    Why? Because I've never been in a relationship and because I've been single for so long, it would be a big change to be with someone.
    It's like I've become so used to being on my own that letting someone into my life would be a big shake up.
    You need to get out of your head. Give someone a chance to take you out of there. Even if it is just one chance. If that is all you get out of it, one night away from yourself, it will be worth it. 
    Noone will ever want me.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,163
    Yes
    Plus I don't feel I have anything to offer to a woman.
    Not employed, still living with my parents, not sure what I want to do with my life.
    Hardly an attractive option for a woman who would want financial stability, independence, career set.
    I was talking to my niece today about me not sure I still want to continue studying after I finish my bachelor's degree this year.
    Whether I want to take a gamble and pursue art full time or continue with psychology.
    And I am 35 soon. Lost soul much?
    My age. I've never had a career set or financial satbility. 

    And would not want to meet a woman who put that at a top priority instead of "I really wanna hang out and wake up with this guy and I'm so happy to be around him".
    If a woman like that exists then I'd be in a relationship.
    Women don't want a guy who does not know what he wants in life.
    They want a guy who knows and who takes charge.
    Not some weak indecisive pissant like me.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,163
    Yes
    She actually sent me a message on facebook half an hour ago responding to my invite for her to join a new Simpsons meme group.
    She just messaged to say she saw the invite and thanks but that she was in that group but left.
    That's about as much as we chatted other than few comments about popular memes on the page.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • OffSheGoes35OffSheGoes35 Posts: 1,710
    No
    Plus I don't feel I have anything to offer to a woman.
    Not employed, still living with my parents, not sure what I want to do with my life.
    Hardly an attractive option for a woman who would want financial stability, independence, career set.
    I was talking to my niece today about me not sure I still want to continue studying after I finish my bachelor's degree this year.
    Whether I want to take a gamble and pursue art full time or continue with psychology.
    And I am 35 soon. Lost soul much?
    The place where you went to take pictures of flowers during Christmas, you could invite her there. If you invite her on a photo shoot, maybe you would have less anxiety-you would have something else to focus on. 
    Funny you say that because she works as a photographer. 
    Please just get to know her. Will you at least try?
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,163
    Yes
    Did I say she has a huge number of friends, why would she want to go out with a guy with like 3 friends?
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,163
    Yes
    Plus, why would she want a guy 8 years her junior? Women are attracted to older guys. It's a proven fact and another thing I've learned in my university studies.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • OffSheGoes35OffSheGoes35 Posts: 1,710
    No
    You just want me to be your placeholder forever. That's what this really boils down to.
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,163
    Yes
    You just want me to be your placeholder forever. That's what this really boils down to.
    what is a placeholder and what do you mean?
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 11,088
    edited January 29
    Plus, why would she want a guy 8 years her junior? Women are attracted to older guys. It's a proven fact and another thing I've learned in my university studies.
    Stop reading buzzfeeds articles or listen to McGruffd tunnel vision about what women want. 
    Post edited by Spiritual_Chaos on
    The man they call my enemy. I've seen his eyes, he looks just like me - A mirror...
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 13,163
    edited January 29
    Yes
    Plus, why would she want a guy 8 years her junior? Women are attracted to older guys. It's a proven fact and another thing I've learned in my university studies.
    Stop reading buzzfeeds articles about what women want. 
    This was taught to students last semester in a social psychology unit. Taught by my lecturer, based on evidence from many studies over many years. Plus it was in the prescribed text book on social psychology which I still have. Everything I say is not from stupid online articles but from evidence from studies of women and what they want.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 11,088
    Plus, why would she want a guy 8 years her junior? Women are attracted to older guys. It's a proven fact and another thing I've learned in my university studies.
    Stop reading buzzfeeds articles about what women want. 
    This was taught to students last semester in a social psychology unit. Taught by my lecturer, based on evidence from many studies over many years. Plus it was in the prescribed text book on social psychology which I still have. Everything I say is not from stupid online articles but from evidence from studies of women and what they want.
    Well then, by all evidence I shouldn't get close to women. But still I do.
    The man they call my enemy. I've seen his eyes, he looks just like me - A mirror...
  • HobbesHobbes Pacific NorthwestPosts: 3,934
    Plus I don't feel I have anything to offer to a woman.
    Not employed, still living with my parents, not sure what I want to do with my life.
    Hardly an attractive option for a woman who would want financial stability, independence, career set.
    I was talking to my niece today about me not sure I still want to continue studying after I finish my bachelor's degree this year.
    Whether I want to take a gamble and pursue art full time or continue with psychology.
    And I am 35 soon. Lost soul much?

  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 45,790
    edited January 29
    Yes
    Plus, why would she want a guy 8 years her junior? Women are attracted to older guys. It's a proven fact and another thing I've learned in my university studies.
    You know that not all women think the same, right?
    Anyway, clearly you plan on sabotaging yourself for the rest of your life. I doubt it's useful for anyone to try and help you get out of the hole you keep digging yourself into. You're making the very conscious decision to be alone for the rest of your life, and nobody here is going to be able to talk you out of it or convince you how very very wrong you are about things, because you're also making the conscious decision to ignore every single bit of good advice you are given. You either have to talk yourself out of your misconceptions, or stay single forever. Good luck.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 45,790
    edited January 29
    Yes
    Plus, why would she want a guy 8 years her junior? Women are attracted to older guys. It's a proven fact and another thing I've learned in my university studies.
    Stop reading buzzfeeds articles about what women want. 
    This was taught to students last semester in a social psychology unit. Taught by my lecturer, based on evidence from many studies over many years. Plus it was in the prescribed text book on social psychology which I still have. Everything I say is not from stupid online articles but from evidence from studies of women and what they want.
    And yet, there are SO many women who have much younger long term partners. How odd!
    Seriously, saying that all women are only attracted to older guys is about the dumbest generalization I've ever heard, as well as one of the easiest to disprove. Whoever managed to convince you that that is a concrete fact should be fired.

    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • OffSheGoes35OffSheGoes35 Posts: 1,710
    No
    PJ_Soul said:
    Plus, why would she want a guy 8 years her junior? Women are attracted to older guys. It's a proven fact and another thing I've learned in my university studies.
    Stop reading buzzfeeds articles about what women want. 
    This was taught to students last semester in a social psychology unit. Taught by my lecturer, based on evidence from many studies over many years. Plus it was in the prescribed text book on social psychology which I still have. Everything I say is not from stupid online articles but from evidence from studies of women and what they want.
    And yet, there are SO many women who have much younger long term partners. How odd!
    Seriously, saying that all women are only attracted to older guys is about the dumbest generalization I've ever heard, as well as one of the easiest to disprove. Whoever managed to convince you that that is a concrete fact should be fired.

    Agreed!
  • OffSheGoes35OffSheGoes35 Posts: 1,710
    No
    Did I say she has a huge number of friends, why would she want to go out with a guy with like 3 friends?
        @Meltdown99
     Do you want to tell him about opposites attracting?
  • dankinddankind I am not your foot. Posts: 13,050
    Yes
    Plus I don't feel I have anything to offer to a woman.
    Not employed, still living with my parents, not sure what I want to do with my life.
    Hardly an attractive option for a woman who would want financial stability, independence, career set.
    I was talking to my niece today about me not sure I still want to continue studying after I finish my bachelor's degree this year.
    Whether I want to take a gamble and pursue art full time or continue with psychology.
    And I am 35 soon. Lost soul much?
    Do you have a penis? Some girls just want the D. :lol:

    Seriously, though, your psychology program is shit. What year is your textbook from? You should get your money back from whatever bullshit university is teaching you this garbage. None of what you say that you learned in class has any basis in fact. It's anecdotal evidence from likely biased research. For every woman looking for a man to take care of her, there's a woman looking for a man to take care of -- and one looking for a woman to take care of her and one looking for a woman to take care of and one who just wants to take care of herself. I bet there's another set of likely biased research out there saying that most women just want to take care of a cat. That would also be bullshit. Even Dr. Freud's research was heavily influenced by his rampant sexism. Basically, everything he had to say regarding his observations of women, while it certainly makes for interesting reading, is at least 90% false. That's why some of those case studies read like fiction/porn. And besides, you should rarely believe anything you learn in the artificial microcosm of a university classroom. Nearly putting an entire gender into a single behavioral mindset should always raise some red flags.

    I will never in a million years make as much money as my wife. She wants to further her career. I don't even like to think of that word. It's gross to me. Career? Fuck that. I have a job, and I'll leave it at that. Every promotion I've been offered, I've turned down. While it would be nice, I don't need the extra money, and I certainly don't need the extra administrative shit that would come with a promotion. I'd rather just do my actual work than pretend to worry about the performance of a company I will never give two shits about.

    I didn't live with my parents when I met my wife. That probably would've been a much nicer place to bring her. No, I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor in a tiny apartment with at least four (but usually more) other dudes -- one of whom had photos of his sexual conquests pasted all over his bedroom door, which was right next to our front door. None of this mattered to her because we were simply attracted to each other. We shared similar interests, and we liked to fuck. All of which still holds true.

    And my wife is not a special case. My living situation was never great. A mattress on a floor was actually kind of a luxury. Some blankets piled in the only corner where my earlier roommates didn't spill their bongwater was where I slept for a couple of years as well. I had no car, no money, etc., but women still managed to somehow find me attractive and want to hang out with me -- and I'm going to go out on a limb here having had access to a mirror for most of my adult life and say that the attraction wasn't initially physical (anyone here who has met me can back this up); it was likely based on common interests, sense of humor, attitude, demeanor, etc. 

    I know it's been mentioned before by another poster, but the talking points that you've brought up here regarding women (namely, how shallow they are in their desires for a mate) are basically the seeds of the whole repugnant incel movement. The fact that they are planting these seeds in a university classroom is disgusting to me, and I think your university's psychology program should be discredited for spreading such obvious falsehoods as fact. I know that your toilets flush backward (to us :smiley: ) down under; hopefully, this class is an outlier and not indicative of backward education as well.
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 45,790
    edited January 29
    Yes
    A good personality and little confidence goes a looooooonnnnnnnnnng way with a lot of women.

    And yes T_A... your attitude about women is 100% offensive, and what makes more people than just me worry that you're well on your way to being a fucking incel. Perhaps that is what's driving women away from you??
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 4,028
    Yes
    His mother has shaped his view on women in my opinion. I think the whole situation is very child like. I think T.A wants love. Needs love and with a mother like his he has not been nurtured. My opinion is he craves this but feels not worth anything to women.
    Sorry if it sounds like some weird shit
     It's just how I observe it.
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  • dankinddankind I am not your foot. Posts: 13,050
    Yes
    His mother has shaped his view on women in my opinion. I think the whole situation is very child like. I think T.A wants love. Needs love and with a mother like his he has not been nurtured. My opinion is he craves this but feels not worth anything to women.
    Sorry if it sounds like some weird shit
     It's just how I observe it.

    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 11,088
    His mother has shaped his view on women in my opinion. I think the whole situation is very child like. I think T.A wants love. Needs love and with a mother like his he has not been nurtured. My opinion is he craves this but feels not worth anything to women.
    Sorry if it sounds like some weird shit
     It's just how I observe it.
    This sounds like that serial killer the coed killers description of his mother. Haha. 
    The man they call my enemy. I've seen his eyes, he looks just like me - A mirror...
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 11,088
    I still have problems with my ass btw. 
    The man they call my enemy. I've seen his eyes, he looks just like me - A mirror...
  • HesCalledDyerHesCalledDyer MarylandPosts: 13,568
    The older men thing is a load of crap. If women were ONLY attracted to older men, I would be killing it with all the 21-25 year olds I hit on. But guess what, they don’t want to date their dad.
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