Should I ask Agnes out on a date?

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  • dankind
    dankind Posts: 20,841
    Yes
    mcgruff10 said:
    dankind said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    My wife and I took a half a vacation day today together. I can’t imagine spending that time with another woman. 
    Could you imagine spending time with a friend?
    Exactly. Or any other time you may have.
    Seriously, this really does come off as sexist. It's at the very least saying that you can't conceive any relationship with a woman that isn't romantic or somehow sexually charged. Why else would you be comparing a female friend to your wife?
    Sexist?  Nah, just in love with my wife. 
    Pansy.
    This weekend My buddy is eating at Regina s pizza in Boston. Have you ever tried it? 
    North End Regina is good. As is Eastie Santarpio’s. 
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • mcgruff10
    mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 29,180
    Yes
    bbiggs said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    bbiggs said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    bbiggs said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    bbiggs said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    My wife and I took a half a vacation day today together. I can’t imagine spending that time with another woman. 
    Could you imagine spending time with a friend?
    Exactly. Or any other time you may have.
    Seriously, this really does come off as sexist. It's at the very least saying that you can't conceive any relationship with a woman that isn't romantic or somehow sexually charged. Why else would you be comparing a female friend to your wife?
    Sexist?  Nah, just in love with my wife. 
    What does your love for your wife have to do with other friendships? That's the point. That's why it's sexist. If we were talking about you hanging out with one of your buddies you wouldn't be mentioning your wife. Sorry, I'm not trying to argue with you... it's just so.... sexist. IMO.
    I don’t think it’s sexist. There are a lot of women who are married that wouldn’t spend time one on one with another guy either. I think it’s the same from both sides. Or it’s sexist from both sides then. 
    Yes, absolutely that would be sexist if a woman did the same thing. Obviously. It's a sexist problem no matter who is refusing to be friends with someone based on their gender.
    That’s fair. I still don’t think it’s sexist though. 
    I'm not sure what else you could call refusing to be friends with someone based solely on their gender and/or the inability to view people of the opposite sex outside of a sexualized/romanticized context. That's sexist my definition. It's something people should try to change. To me it already seems super old fashioned. I hope this silliness doesn't exist at all for the next generation or the one after that, because it's fucking stupid and sexist and shows there's a long way to go before the sexes respect each other properly..... At least the LGBTQ community seems to have gotten past it for the most part.
    It’s not a lack of respect for the opposite gender. It’s showing respect to your spouse.  As much as I trust my wife, I wouldn’t love the idea of her having a dinner, drinks, movie night with any man except me (or her father). 
    I really just don't understand how you're not seeing the sexism involved here. And yes, if you or your spouse are incapable of considering a friendship with the opposite sex without feeling jealously like what you just described, I do think that's a general issue of respect for the opposite gender. I mean, you not wanting your wife to hang out with a male friend because you want that man to be only yourself or her blood relatives, that is a pure sense of possession of jealously. There is no other possible explanation behind that. The only reason this doesn't feel sexist to you, nor like a form of jealousy, is because it's normalized thinking. To me it's old fashioned normalized thinking, but normalized thinking all the same. Societies can be very slow to change such traditional perspectives.
    Well, I have been called an old soul before. ;)
    Yeah call me old fashioned too. I am fine with that. I think some things can be old fashioned and still be ok. 

    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • dankind
    dankind Posts: 20,841
    Yes
    https://youtu.be/ZRGYNdxX2qU
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,646
    I've asked...
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • dankind
    dankind Posts: 20,841
    Yes

    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • mcgruff10
    mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 29,180
    Yes
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    I've asked...
    Aaaaaand?
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,887
    edited October 2018
    Yes
    bbiggs said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    bbiggs said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    bbiggs said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    bbiggs said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    My wife and I took a half a vacation day today together. I can’t imagine spending that time with another woman. 
    Could you imagine spending time with a friend?
    Exactly. Or any other time you may have.
    Seriously, this really does come off as sexist. It's at the very least saying that you can't conceive any relationship with a woman that isn't romantic or somehow sexually charged. Why else would you be comparing a female friend to your wife?
    Sexist?  Nah, just in love with my wife. 
    What does your love for your wife have to do with other friendships? That's the point. That's why it's sexist. If we were talking about you hanging out with one of your buddies you wouldn't be mentioning your wife. Sorry, I'm not trying to argue with you... it's just so.... sexist. IMO.
    I don’t think it’s sexist. There are a lot of women who are married that wouldn’t spend time one on one with another guy either. I think it’s the same from both sides. Or it’s sexist from both sides then. 
    Yes, absolutely that would be sexist if a woman did the same thing. Obviously. It's a sexist problem no matter who is refusing to be friends with someone based on their gender.
    That’s fair. I still don’t think it’s sexist though. 
    I'm not sure what else you could call refusing to be friends with someone based solely on their gender and/or the inability to view people of the opposite sex outside of a sexualized/romanticized context. That's sexist my definition. It's something people should try to change. To me it already seems super old fashioned. I hope this silliness doesn't exist at all for the next generation or the one after that, because it's fucking stupid and sexist and shows there's a long way to go before the sexes respect each other properly..... At least the LGBTQ community seems to have gotten past it for the most part.
    It’s not a lack of respect for the opposite gender. It’s showing respect to your spouse.  As much as I trust my wife, I wouldn’t love the idea of her having a dinner, drinks, movie night with any man except me (or her father). 
    I really just don't understand how you're not seeing the sexism involved here. And yes, if you or your spouse are incapable of considering a friendship with the opposite sex without feeling jealously like what you just described, I do think that's a general issue of respect for the opposite gender. I mean, you not wanting your wife to hang out with a male friend because you want that man to be only yourself or her blood relatives, that is a pure sense of possession of jealously. There is no other possible explanation behind that. The only reason this doesn't feel sexist to you, nor like a form of jealousy, is because it's normalized thinking. To me it's old fashioned normalized thinking, but normalized thinking all the same. Societies can be very slow to change such traditional perspectives.
    Well, I have been called an old soul before. ;)
    Ha! Well good for you. ;)
    And FWIW, I'm not saying any of this to hammer you or Scruffy or anyone else about being galdarned sexists. I personally don't exactly blame people for this thinking - it's pretty deeply rooted in our society still, although I do think people should try to open their minds about it more. Just from this thread I feel that people have really bricked themselves into this whole "I can only be friends with other men/women" idea, which disappoints me (and irks me because of the sexism involved, and the whole "us and them" mentality). I'm just making such a big point of it and calling it how I see it because, like I said, I'm hoping for the thinking around this issue to evolve. I don't expect that to happen over night. Also, this view point of mine does NOT discount justified distrust or jealously. There are PLENTY of men and women out there who are ready and willing to cheat and/or seduce someone under the guise of friendship. I'm of course only talking about the genuine, trustworthy cases of friendship here. I just think people need to learn how to recognize the difference. It IS possible, if only people would drop the blanket thinking patterns surrounding male/female friendships.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,887
    edited October 2018
    Yes
    mcgruff10 said:
    bbiggs said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    bbiggs said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    bbiggs said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    bbiggs said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    My wife and I took a half a vacation day today together. I can’t imagine spending that time with another woman. 
    Could you imagine spending time with a friend?
    Exactly. Or any other time you may have.
    Seriously, this really does come off as sexist. It's at the very least saying that you can't conceive any relationship with a woman that isn't romantic or somehow sexually charged. Why else would you be comparing a female friend to your wife?
    Sexist?  Nah, just in love with my wife. 
    What does your love for your wife have to do with other friendships? That's the point. That's why it's sexist. If we were talking about you hanging out with one of your buddies you wouldn't be mentioning your wife. Sorry, I'm not trying to argue with you... it's just so.... sexist. IMO.
    I don’t think it’s sexist. There are a lot of women who are married that wouldn’t spend time one on one with another guy either. I think it’s the same from both sides. Or it’s sexist from both sides then. 
    Yes, absolutely that would be sexist if a woman did the same thing. Obviously. It's a sexist problem no matter who is refusing to be friends with someone based on their gender.
    That’s fair. I still don’t think it’s sexist though. 
    I'm not sure what else you could call refusing to be friends with someone based solely on their gender and/or the inability to view people of the opposite sex outside of a sexualized/romanticized context. That's sexist my definition. It's something people should try to change. To me it already seems super old fashioned. I hope this silliness doesn't exist at all for the next generation or the one after that, because it's fucking stupid and sexist and shows there's a long way to go before the sexes respect each other properly..... At least the LGBTQ community seems to have gotten past it for the most part.
    It’s not a lack of respect for the opposite gender. It’s showing respect to your spouse.  As much as I trust my wife, I wouldn’t love the idea of her having a dinner, drinks, movie night with any man except me (or her father). 
    I really just don't understand how you're not seeing the sexism involved here. And yes, if you or your spouse are incapable of considering a friendship with the opposite sex without feeling jealously like what you just described, I do think that's a general issue of respect for the opposite gender. I mean, you not wanting your wife to hang out with a male friend because you want that man to be only yourself or her blood relatives, that is a pure sense of possession of jealously. There is no other possible explanation behind that. The only reason this doesn't feel sexist to you, nor like a form of jealousy, is because it's normalized thinking. To me it's old fashioned normalized thinking, but normalized thinking all the same. Societies can be very slow to change such traditional perspectives.
    Well, I have been called an old soul before. ;)
    Yeah call me old fashioned too. I am fine with that. I think some things can be old fashioned and still be ok. 

    I'm not sure anything that is sexist is ultimately okay. But I don't expect social constructs like this to change overnight.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • oftenreading
    oftenreading Victoria, BC Posts: 12,856
    Yes
    Milking it. 

    Aaand.... not even going to try to post a gif for that. 
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,887
    Yes
    mcgruff10 said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    I've asked...
    Aaaaaand?
    What happened?!?!


    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,646
    mcgruff10 said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    I've asked...
    Aaaaaand?
    Seen the message. Hasn't answered - which means no, and a politetly written "no" to come.

    This is your fault @mcgruff10 - I don't know why, and I don't know how but somehow it is.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQPehXDxmAM
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • LongestRoad
    LongestRoad Posts: 477
    No
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    I've asked...
    Aaaaaand?
    Seen the message. Hasn't answered - which means no, and a politetly written "no" to come.

    This is your fault @mcgruff10 - I don't know why, and I don't know how but somehow it is.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQPehXDxmAM
    Positive thoughts. 
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,887
    edited October 2018
    Yes
    Hey now, maybe she is just taking time to think about it, Mr. Negative. ;) Or is all nervous and shit, and trying to figure out a good way to respond, lol. You never know. It ain't over until the fat lady (Agnes) sings. ;)
    I agree it's McGruff's fault though.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • dankind
    dankind Posts: 20,841
    Yes
    Fucking Scruffy. Nothing but trouble. 
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • mcgruff10
    mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 29,180
    Yes
    What the fuck did I do?!?!
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • bbiggs
    bbiggs Posts: 6,965
    mcgruff10 said:
    What the fuck did I do?!?!
    You’re too old fashioned. Fucked up the whole plan. 
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,887
    Yes
    mcgruff10 said:
    What the fuck did I do?!?!

    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • LongestRoad
    LongestRoad Posts: 477
    No
    mcgruff10 said:
    What the fuck did I do?!?!
    You didn't tell him to phone or ask in person. 😜
  • mcgruff10
    mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 29,180
    Yes
    LongestRoad said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    What the fuck did I do?!?!
    You didn't tell him to phone or ask in person. 😜
    For Christ’s sake I told him I would fly to Sweden to help him out!
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • mcgruff10
    mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 29,180
    Yes
    Question: is it socially acceptable to ask someone out on a date via text?  I ve been out of the game for awhile. 
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......

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