Did you text her that you wanted a date, or hey want to get together for our monthly beer? Cause the silence would mean different things in each instance.
Did you text her that you wanted a date, or hey want to get together for our monthly beer? Cause the silence would mean different things in each instance.
Asked about date.
"Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
Did you text her that you wanted a date, or hey want to get together for our monthly beer? Cause the silence would mean different things in each instance.
Do you think maybe she thought you were m drunk texting her or something?
When are you supposed to go to have your monthly brew with her?
Were old classmates, now friends who meet up from time to time. Like friends do. We do not have a set schedule. Haha.
She should have responded, no matter what the answer was. I don't like the texting for a date idea but if it's how you guys do it - then an answer is the proper thing to do. You don't leave someone hanging in the wind.
Do you think maybe she thought you were m drunk texting her or something?
When are you supposed to go to have your monthly brew with her?
Were old classmates, now friends who meet up from time to time. Like friends do. We do not have a set schedule. Haha.
She should have responded, no matter what the answer was. I don't like the texting for a date idea but if it's how you guys do it - then an answer is the proper thing to do. You don't leave someone hanging in the wind.
True forget Agnes I don't like her lack of manners . Most people would be humble either way. Hmmm no reply =rude
brixton 93
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this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.
1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.
2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it. On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!
1. I'll do it today...
2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?
To answer your second question simply: yes. I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.
I know I'm late to this party, but this is surprising. over the years, some of my best friends have been female. it's all in how you approach it. if it's clear that your relationship is platonic, and your friend treats your spouse with respect and kindness, there should be no worry. now, there was one friend I had who I used to attend concerts with all the time after my wife got concert-fatigued. this friend often treated my wife as if she was the enemy (but only subtley, and usually when I was out of earshot/eyesight). eventually I saw her do it right in front of me, and I never hung out with her again.
my best friend for many many years was female. i did her toast to the bride. I now hang out with her husband here and there. I rarley hang out with them together. I go for coffee with her, watch sports with him.
I've even met women at work after my wife and I had already been together and hung out with them. mostly just concerts. my wife isn't always thrilled (especially if the friend is hot, LOL), but I am never secretive about it, and always invite her along.
I still say flowers are a great gift. I like flowers also. Unconventional hey!
Flowers are only a great gift if you give them to her at her home. Don't give them to women when you're out, where she can't put them in water or anything. Then they're just a pain in the ass.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
I just read this whole thread. Damn entertaining. I have two questions/comments.
1. OP...did you ask her yet, or what? Rip the band aid off, dude.
2. I couldn’t think of a funnier scenario than me telling my wife I’m gonna go catch a flick or have dinner one on one with another woman. And for the record, my wife is cool as shit and not jealous at all. That would just be weird. I had plenty of female friends growing up, in college, etc. that I would do stuff like this with. As a married man at age 37, couldn’t do it. On that note, maybe I’ll start a poll to see if I should ask my wife if I can take another woman to dinner and a movie!
1. I'll do it today...
2. But what if you had a close female friend, from before you met your wife? Would you just stop hanging out with this friend because of her gender?
To answer your second question simply: yes. I think you would have a different perspective if you ever get married.
Why? All of my male friends are married and it didn't change their perspective at all. And I was in a common law marriage, and that didn't change mine. I can't believe you'd ditch a good friend like that just because... what? Because you'd be worried you'd cheat on your wife with her? Or your wife would be worried about it? I don't think I get it. Obviously we're not talking about friends you want to screw, lol.
I guess equality is farther away than I even thought!
Here’s a real life situation. I have a female friend/colleague that is a runner. She knows I am as well. So she asked me if I wanted to go for a long run before work as she was training for a half marathon. My initial thought was, “why not?” However, once I thought about it, I opted not to. It just seemed a little bit “off” for me to tell my wife I’m going for a run with a woman she has never met and that it would be just the two of us. Now, this woman is also happily married and she knows I’m the same. There is zero reason for concern. But, I envision a lot of scenarios that wouldn’t play out well. Say one of our friends is out for a run that day as well and sees me running with another woman. They’d probably think something is up. If this was a lifelong friend, obviously it’s a different story. But in this case, it seemed out of bounds so I opted against it.
here's another one:
my wife and I are friends with another couple, have been for a few years (met through our kids). I actually have a lot in common with the wife, musically anyway. so the kurt cobain movie was coming up, she mentioned we should go together. so we did. we joked about it being a date, our spouses also joked about it being a date (and what date they are going to go on). the funny part was, we saw her husband's cousin at the movie. we laughed our heads off. we saw them on the way out and she chatted with him and no big deal.
it's not out of bounds if your partner is cool with it. let others think whateverthefuck they want.
I still say flowers are a great gift. I like flowers also. Unconventional hey!
Flowers are only a great gift if you give them to her at her home. Don't give them to women when you're out, where she can't put them in water or anything. Then they're just a pain in the ass.
Also; don't give a woman a kitten when you're out.
"Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
gotta be honest, I can't say I'd like being texted a date offer. But I'm 44, so maybe that's commonplace now? given the two of you are friends, the lack of non-verbal cues during the question may have confused/scared her.
also, there is always the possibility she didn't get the text. I know that happens to me here and there, both on the receiving end and giving end of it.
I don't see the big deal about texting. A lot of the "norms" in society may not have been the norm if current technology was around back then. People may have been texting to go on dates all the time back in the 20's if smartphones were around then.
I don't see the big deal about texting. A lot of the "norms" in society may not have been the norm if current technology was around back then. People may have been texting to go on dates all the time back in the 20's if smartphones were around then.
absolutely, and I'm not a purist by any stretch, but I just think something like asking someone on a date needs to be a face to face sort of thing. or maybe on the phone at the least.
I guess it could be argued that texting is the new passing notes in class, but isn't face to face or ear to ear communication the logical evolution of this type of thing?
I don't see the big deal about texting. A lot of the "norms" in society may not have been the norm if current technology was around back then. People may have been texting to go on dates all the time back in the 20's if smartphones were around then.
absolutely, and I'm not a purist by any stretch, but I just think something like asking someone on a date needs to be a face to face sort of thing. or maybe on the phone at the least.
I guess it could be argued that texting is the new passing notes in class, but isn't face to face or ear to ear communication the logical evolution of this type of thing?
Face to face could be difficult to make happen when you are an adult that is out of school. You may not see the person very often unless you are coworkers, so phone or text are your two options. I guess I left out singing telegram.
I don't know. Is a date that big a deal that you need to have a phone conversation or face to face? It isn't like they are proposing marriage or being exclusive. It is just a dinner with another person. It happens millions of times each day.
I don't see the big deal about texting. A lot of the "norms" in society may not have been the norm if current technology was around back then. People may have been texting to go on dates all the time back in the 20's if smartphones were around then.
absolutely, and I'm not a purist by any stretch, but I just think something like asking someone on a date needs to be a face to face sort of thing. or maybe on the phone at the least.
I guess it could be argued that texting is the new passing notes in class, but isn't face to face or ear to ear communication the logical evolution of this type of thing?
Over the phone is very acceptable.
But anyway, yeah, we didn't have texting when we were in the prime of our dating lives, so we really can't talk. I'm sure it's normal now to do this. And man, does it ever make it easier, lol. I wouldn't do it, but I can understand the temptation.... I'm sure just ghosting people instead of actually responding is much easier too, lol.
Post edited by PJ_Soul on
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
MAYBE I DID IT THE WRONG WAY. OK. DONT GANG UP ON ME.
sorry, really not trying to gang up. not at all. I said that maybe it's me, since I have been out of the dating pool for 20 years. either way, there's no right or wrong here. just my opinion.
Comments
When are you supposed to go to have your monthly brew with her?
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
"Hey ya did you get my text?"
my best friend for many many years was female. i did her toast to the bride. I now hang out with her husband here and there. I rarley hang out with them together. I go for coffee with her, watch sports with him.
I've even met women at work after my wife and I had already been together and hung out with them. mostly just concerts. my wife isn't always thrilled (especially if the friend is hot, LOL), but I am never secretive about it, and always invite her along.
www.headstonesband.com
my wife and I are friends with another couple, have been for a few years (met through our kids). I actually have a lot in common with the wife, musically anyway. so the kurt cobain movie was coming up, she mentioned we should go together. so we did. we joked about it being a date, our spouses also joked about it being a date (and what date they are going to go on). the funny part was, we saw her husband's cousin at the movie. we laughed our heads off. we saw them on the way out and she chatted with him and no big deal.
it's not out of bounds if your partner is cool with it. let others think whateverthefuck they want.
www.headstonesband.com
also, there is always the possibility she didn't get the text. I know that happens to me here and there, both on the receiving end and giving end of it.
www.headstonesband.com
I guess it could be argued that texting is the new passing notes in class, but isn't face to face or ear to ear communication the logical evolution of this type of thing?
www.headstonesband.com
Nobody is ganging up on you. We are debating texting versus face to face.
Face to face could be difficult to make happen when you are an adult that is out of school. You may not see the person very often unless you are coworkers, so phone or text are your two options. I guess I left out singing telegram.
I don't know. Is a date that big a deal that you need to have a phone conversation or face to face? It isn't like they are proposing marriage or being exclusive. It is just a dinner with another person. It happens millions of times each day.
www.headstonesband.com