A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

lastexitlondon said:

Ive never listened to then. Im very narrow with my music. I do have Spotify though i could look on there. Mickey i was wondering about how you filled your spare time without drinking or drugs. I mean i takes up a lot of time that is now spare

tool has an album called lateralus. I find it amazing.

I'd like for you to try something. create a playlist of tracks 6,7,9,10,11,12. use headphones if you have them and as much volume as you can stand.  musically I find it meditative and trance inducing of a sort. lyrically I find it kind of metaphysically spiritual?shamanistic even.
 its frankly transcendent.

I have found it quite helpful in that sense. I hope you can find in it something similar.....

will answer your other question in the recovery thread so others can chime in too.

lastexitlondon said:

Now this must be. Common problem for sufferers.
When you eventually have 2 days in a row that don't suck shit. Then your partner goes down hill. Or acts all different and distant. Could it be that they can sink as you rise 

Could it be a perception only?
Perhaps it's just a product of greater focus on your partner due to decreased focus on self?
Or maybe it isn't perception but it's something like your partner taking a break from focusing on you to focus on themselves?

lastexitlondon said:

Yes that is very true. I think it's both

On the one hand, it's a great opportunity for you to help hold her together, as I'm sure she helps hold you together.
On the other hand, it's a great opportunity for you to abstain from thinking about anxiety as much as possible and it's easy to do the wrong thing in helping someone deal with anxiety.
If I were you I would vocalise my support in a very general way and have faith that if she needs you she will reach out.

HughFreakingDillon said:

lastexitlondon said:

Now this must be. Common problem for sufferers.
When you eventually have 2 days in a row that don't suck shit. Then your partner goes down hill. Or acts all different and distant. Could it be that they can sink as you rise 

this is just another facet of the guilt I live with. I find when I'm at my best, is when she sometimes takes a turn. It's almost like she unconsiously realizes she's now "allowed to be sad" or something. it kills me that she forces herself to be strong for me when I'm so weak 99% of the time. 

I understand why you say it like that, but I hope you know it isn't an issue of strength/weakness.
A weak person doesn't live with anxiety, they overmedicate and avoid themselves out of life metaphorically and sometimes literally, or they take drastic and selfish measures.
Likewise, a strong person doesn't live without fear or anxiety, if they do then they haven't proven themselves strong at all, they haven't even been tested.
I thought I was strong in the period between my wife's anxiety and my own, but then I was tested and I realized I hadn't developed any strength at all yet.

HughFreakingDillon said:

i feel weak. i see the kid from the humbolt broncos who lost 15 of his friends, has been told he'll never walk again, saying he'll get through it and move on, and i'm lying in bed for pretty much no reason 'woe is me'. it's that shit that gets me thinking it's weakness, even though i know that's perpetuating the stigma to myself. but it's hard not to think that way. 

Think of it this way, HFD, injured or lost legs impair the ability to walk;  a malady of the mind such as anxiety impairs the ability to feel well and function normally.  It's just different parts of the body, no better, no worse, just different.  But believe me, I know what you mean.  Yesterday I was laid low with anxiety, so much so that it contributed to my IBS.  I kept telling myself to just get up and move but I couldn't.  I'm normally pretty well motivated to grit my teeth and move but yesterday I just-- could-- not.  I stayed home, shut all the curtains and watched movies most of the day and hoped the next day would be better (today was, thank goodness!)


It's helpful if we can try to remember that what we are dealing with is a) not our fault, b) not simply being weak and c) not going to be as bad everyday.  Good days await us.  We just need to hang in there and they will come.

Oh, and speaking of how common anxiety is- I have an email acquaintance/friend with whom I've only been in contact for a few weeks who I assumed is totally on top of his game.  He told me recently he suffers from anxiety.  It's just not all that uncommon and sometimes people who you think are totally together that way are in the same boat we are in.  So another friend to lend an ear to and give support.

lastexitlondon said:

HFD  I'm totally with you brother  and I have been hoping you are doing  ok at least. It's does feel exactly  like you wrote .  I get very guilty  I also get very angry. In fact I have myself the monster of all headaches yesterday  because  I got so angry at the whole situation  and how selfish I feel when  I actually  have no idea  how to do this .  I rise up like 20%for fuck knows  what reason then bang  down and angry because  like rgambs told me I can now see past myself to her more clearly  to see she is suffering  more than I could feel from my pit of despair.  
As shit  as it sounds I'm building  up by which ever means possible  to get my lame ads to the 3 shows I have planned months for  . I would have sworn I wouldn't  make them if I am honest. But now it's my last exit. That's how I'm approaching  it,after July 3rd in krakow(one of my last dreams was to visit Poland ) I am  not committing  to any more gigs /events . I will just quit if that's what is meant to be. Like I set a goal that was way high  but I have done 40 times before which seems ridiculous  now with my life and circumstances . So if I get there I'm done.

Try to think that if you get there everything opens back up, not done but just getting started.
Easier said than done, but necessary.

There IS life after severe anxiety!  My sister in law spun out to the point she couldn't leave the house or even be alone with her kids for about 6 months straight, but she's back in action leading a 'normal' life.